christmas time lofi

South

the depth of my

full circle

Pureojuice - BLEACH UK DRILL (Hueco Mundo)

to unexist

out of reach

exile me:
for my perfection shattered for a split second 
and in that moment, millions of microscopic shards released into the air
you inhaled, splintering your lungs with my toxic inadequacies
you tasted the sharp venom of the irrevocable black thorns that define me in darkness

cough me out of your lungs
spit me out of your mouth 

delete me:
erase any trace of the vitriolic virus of my irredeemable imperfections 
vaccinate yourself against my vile existence so you can forget to always remember me

replace me:
any alternative to the walking, talking mistake you momentarily mistook for a person 
rub your eyes and correct your vision
effortlessly avert your gaze from the disgusting mutt and find someone beautiful and worthy 

forget me:
let my hungry body eat away at my hollow heart 
let my aching soul sing love songs to deaf ears
let my broken, longing, lost mind wander alone

exile, delete, replace, forget
me

forgotten

a broken child shivers in tattered clothes as the frozen wind burns his exposed skin and blows sharp sand into his eyes

he isn’t safe 

a broken child urgently seeks safety and receives an embrace from well-meaning, contorted hands that change shape with every blink 

he isn’t safe 

will the hands that so lovingly hold him today still be there tomorrow? or will they disappear and shapeshift into shadow?

he isn’t safe 

the hands pick him up and place him alone in a dark room with no furniture. no doors, no windows but a breeze still blows and cuts his skin

he isn’t safe

the hands pick him up and set him down in places with dark faces and figures he doesn’t know and doesn’t trust and he isn’t safe 

he isn’t safe 

the hands so lovingly misplace him. over and over again. they lovingly hug him. they lovingly sell his toys for drug money. they lovingly take him to ice cream. they lovingly leave him alone in the car for hours at midnight. they lovingly make him dinner. they lovingly pour chemicals on his skin. they lovingly drive him to the playground. they lovingly pull his hair. they lovingly push him on the swing.

a broken child learns firsthand what love is. he isn’t safe. it isn’t safe. love isn’t safe

the hands

Sunny Beach

Self - Inflicted Lonesome Blues

christmas time lofi

trystoh

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