Merry Christmas! I know this year has been very slow for me release wise but trust me there will more actual releases next year! In the meantime though, I've decided to put out this song I made a few months back, as well as another EDM song, which I intend to put out in the coming days. This one along with the other song will be on streaming as a double single some time soon. 

P.S. don't be surprised if the next proper clayekea single is out some time in January or early February :)

delusion of thought

art + prod all me

i dont focus when i need to
i dont listen and it leads to everyone just getting mad at me again

talk to much when i dont want to
look 4 something to respond to

hope i never see ur face again

dont talk 2 me just shut ur mouth
it feels like no one ever wants me around 
just hold my breath until i pass out

n ill never know what u think, but i just wanna know .. am i good enough?

good enough

you were the only one 
i mean it
forever and ever

forever and ever

with https://soundcloud.com/hanirl :)

then I sit down

put away my cellphone

do it for my health

then I'm gonna tell nobody 

the way I've felt

tell tales

tell everybody that I'm doing well

I'm not

okay, still sitting down

open up my laptop

can't talk now

is what I tell my friends 

because I'm writing about 

everything, every thought,

every scene, every now

and then

I write about how

my thoughts pull me down

why are they so loud?

Why are they so mean?

Fierce and hostile, I fear I've lost sight 

Cause years of my life

I'd feel the gaslights

Kept wasting my time,

my friends would ask why

my tears won't pass now

I block it all out

just shut myself down

It's so much more than what I wrote

what I wrote isn't all empirical at all

I'm gonna get out of my head

soak up the sunlight

and fall in love with life again

it's so much more than what I wrote

So you read what I wrote from

most of the week where I hoped for

nobody to pose if I'm honest about

what's on my mental

I won't pretend to

act like I don't dread 

the palpable potential

that I will only end up

like what I've tried to end but

if I tried and I failed

would you probably feel

like I've fallen to my own virtues

this isn't a goodbye, it's far from that

I don't want you to worry, time won't hurt you

it's so much more than what I wrote

what I wrote isn't all empirical at all

I'm gonna get out of my head

soak up the sunlight

and fall in love with life again

fall in love

and fall in love with life again

fall in love

it's so much more than what I wrote

playwright w/ han.irl<3

hi there :)

yeah we just talk like that

stems: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/tjahr282r5pazzk85qjpz/h?rlkey=ua7lyotfo064jk0ua19hrpmbt&dl=0

11223
lyrics
I couldn't sleep last night
I plan on leaving my house
I gotta get on my flight flight flight

I'm packing my bags, packing my bags, packing my bags
I'm packing my bags, packing my bags, packing my bags

I want you here with me
Together we can flee
We're following our Dreams, Dreams, Dreams

I'm packing my bags, packing my bags, packing my bags
I'm packing my bags, packing my bags, packing my bags

Yeah we just talk like that
Yeah we just talk like that
Yeah we just talk like that
Yeah we just talk like that
Yeah we just talk like that
Yeah we just talk like that
Yeah we just talk like that
Yeah we just talk like that

Yeah we just talk like that
Yeah we just talk like that

What you gonna do to me?
I'll be at home around 2 or 3
She doesn't even smile no more
She's crying on the bedroom floor

What you gonna do to me?
I'll be at home around 2 or 3
She doesn't even smile no more
She's crying on the bedroom floor

What you gonna do to me?
I'll be at home around 2 or 3
She doesn't even smile no more
She's crying on the bedroom floor

What you gonna do to me?
I'll be at home around 2 or 3
She doesn't even smile no more

FEEL

lyrics:

i run to you as you open the door
my eyes level and my mouth open wide
i bite your skin like an apple
you let out a cry and you tattle

little sister big brother 
i thought you a saint and you thought me a monster
locked you outside while i stole your quarters 
you gave me kindness though i gave you horrors

apple juice

obsidian

always feel like i'm late to everything

stream elsewhere
https://open.spotify.com/album/2xhMvOXoqWoB5jY442QYmE?si=b9344sH_TaS7LosGdVNLTA

support me
https://twitter.com/whosoru
https://discord.gg/QWJbFsNfBb


+Selfish+

thought i'd be fine by the next day
so what changed in me? (i'll never know!)
"guess you'll find out" they said
well i failed and i won't now

and you should ask your friends
how they feel about this
'cause you just can't tell
even if you wanted to

and it hurts to see
i washed offshore
i don't feel it anymore
and i've fallen a thousand floors

'cause it burns to be
a shapeless soul
can't touch it anymore
can't see it anymore, oh
(i wanna see you find out )

i think i figured me out, now
i don't give a damn and run away
and when it gets too tough (for me!)
i crawl back to safety

and it hurts to see
i washed offshore
i don't feel it anymore
and i've fallen a thousand floors

'cause it burns to be
a shapeless soul
can't touch it anymore
can't see it anymore, oh
(i wanna see you find out)

i wanna see you try
i wanna see you find out
i wanna see you try
i wanna see you find out
+++

Selfish

(Noah &) "The Whale"
28/10/23 - 05/03/24

The name comes from the band "Noah and the whale" which is a band me and my mother like

This song has taken the longest to figure out in terms of meaning, it's pretty weirdly structured, very chaotic, vague, but still wholely sincere
and then it hit me: this song is about my mother, alot of the characteristics of this song really come from her personality and I guess in a sense it's written about our relationship
I love my mother, she's one of the most chaotic, unapologetically "themself" people, and I owe a lot of things I like about myself to her, and I guess I underestimated how much influence she could have in my own art.
I struggled figuring out a name or identity for this track for so long, and I remember going to the shop with my mother and she made a random throwaway comment saying "I wonder if you sat here long enough if you would see everyone you'd have ever met?" and that just hit me really hard and I wrote it down as fast as I could.
In terms of lyrics it's less connected to parents and mothering, but a lot of that notion of sitting in one place and actually seeing everyone you've ever known, and that space inbetween reminiscing and when another person would come along, and how hard we try to avoid confronting ourselves and our own flaws, or even mortality in a sense? the latter half is more linked into parenthood and growing up in general, realising in the space between how your childhood has died, and that all the younger versions of you have died along with it, and you sort of "shed" yourself each and every day, leaving traces of past yous behind, but it doesn't get any lighter, and you still learn new things about yourself, like how much you love your parents, and realising that they were never "bad" parents, they were just trying their best; and there's nothing more you could ask of them than that.

LYRICS:

And they say "if you sit in one place long enough, you'll see everyone you've ever known"
Well I've seen everything and everyone I know

Are you scared of what's inbetween?
(Can I get what I want?)
And I'll move mountains from their place
(will you?)

And the sky is mourning
the death of your childhood
(reflection)

there's mould growing, on my walls again
there's mould growing on my walls again
am I supposed to be grateful?
am i supposed to be grateful

Little Faith

The Whale

Black Summer - Young Like Me ft. Lowell (Suroki Remix)

Not so super.

Please listen to my music plllleeeease please please cmon do it

 @lilysse

Cool people
@Finderx
@emblur
@dustkey-hq
@mist-murk
@Kokogane
@flooddubs

Black Summer - Young Like Me ft. Lowell (Suroki Remix)

Suroki

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Gerben van Dijk 3

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