Let’s be real – YOU deserve to have people in your life that have your back and are eager to support you and love you and care for you on your journey.
And, if you now know someone is no longer a part of your tribe (whether they know it or not), then it’s time to take action and either demote them or delete them from your life.

Because, with the Coronavirus keeping us at home, the usual relationship dynamics with friends, family and intimate relationships have changed, some for good and some for bad.

And because it’s been politicized, it has also exposed people’s deep-seeded core values that may or may not align with your own.
And, with this being a HUGE, life-threatening Nodal Event, it has a big impact on you. It hits your core basic values of what’s really important to you in your life.

In the process of this happening, your thoughts and feelings about certain people in your life have probably shifted a little to a lot.

So, this week’s show is about providing a method to reorganize your relationships into a system that works for you.

Topics include:
The staggering number of couples that are having a hard time staying together during the isolation
The reason isolation is affecting younger couples at a much higher level
The real reasons for the problem that don’t have to do directly with the pandemic
Real stories about people dealing with changing relationships in their lives
And, finally, a solution to how you can effectively reorganize your relationships and transform your life out of this crazy mess we’re in right now
The current pandemic and isolation has provided you with the gift of clarity.
Because certain people in your life have been able to step up and others have shown that they just don’t belong in your tribe.

So, it’s important and necessary for you to go through these steps and reorganize your relationships.

Because, you deserve to have people in your life that have your back and are eager to support you and love you and care for you on your journey.

And, if you now know someone is no longer a part of your tribe (whether they know it or not), then it’s time to take action and either demote them or delete them from your life.

Comments/Questions: tony@javabud.com

Personal Coaching: tony@javabud.com

Surrounded by Idiots Radio Podcast

The Corona Effect: How to Reorganize Your Relationships

As I sat down to do my usual weekly research for a show topic, I came across a story about a man and a butterfly and realized we actually need the struggle but NOT the PAIN that comes with it.

So, How do we accept the struggle and get rid of the pain that usually comes with it?

People are dealing with more than one big life issue at the same time

relationship challenges
 family challenges
financial issues
work or school challenges
and, most importantly, health issues (both physical and mental)

So, with the help of current research and a story about a Man and a Butterfly, there is a way to take the pain out of the struggle and keep the good parts that:
Broadens perspective
Strengthens character (determination, grit, resolve)
Builds confidence
Creates clarity that helps you prioritize the components of your life
Creates more fulfillment

Taking the Pain Out of Your Struggles with The Butterfly Story

This week's Surrounded by Idiots Radio Podcast episode is all about finding a solution or moving past a big obstacle in your life by making a small shift in your PERSPECTIVE.

Most of my clients come in with the same issue:

They feel stuck and frustrated about where they are at in their life and have no idea how to get unstuck and continue to expand into the life of their dreams.

The good news is that there is a clear solution and it has to do with 

Expectations
and
Perspective 

In the show I use the story about how a blue dumpster at your favorite beach and how it can explain you being stuck in your situation.

In order to become unstuck and more clear on where you want to go and what you want to do in your life, you must first realize what you are focusing on and how that is keeping you stuck.

Then, after understanding the problem better, you can use a couple of simple techniques to shift your perspective and get back on your path to world domination.

Comments and/or questions: tony@javabud.com

Personal coaching to get unstuck: tony@javabud.com

Website: javabud.com

How a Blue Dumpster on a Beach Can Help You Get Unstuck

This week's podcast episode exposes the secret to better relationships by taking a look at how they are teaching their kids in Finland.

The show is my way of paying tribute to Sir Ken Robinson, education expert, author and speaker who sadly passed away this week.

You may be familiar with Dr. Robinson because he has the most watched Ted Talk of all Time. 

Dr. Robinson's entire life was dedicated to revolutionizing ineffective and outdated systems of teaching in schools and one of his favorite comparisons of  bad versus good systems was the United States system versus the system in Finland.

As I watched this comparison, I realized the school system in Finland is structured on four basic concepts that can also be applied to any relationship.

In other words, the teaching principles in Finland provide the perfect guide for any of your relationships, including:

Significant other relationships
Friends
Family members
Work
School
And ESPECIALLY your relationship with yourself

The four easy-to-follow steps provide a perfect guide will help you to:

Remember what's important in the grand scheme of things
Keep things in their proper perspective
Enrich your life experience and the lives of everyone you have in your life

The final Call To Action is a plea from me to remind yourself everyday of these principles and take them with you through your fulfilling life experience.

Comments or questions or to Book A Coaching Session: tony@javabud.com

Website: javabud.com

The Secret to Better Relationships is Hiding in Finland Schools

This week's podcast episode is about TRUTH
- What is Truth?
- Which opinion is the real Truth?
- How to find the truth buried in so many lies

There are so many ways people can bend and manipulate the truth to confuse and control you.

This can happen in society as a whole or in a family or with a significant other.

That is why it is so important to know how to find the truth.

And the best way to do that is to develop your CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS.

The steps are not hard and you can start using them immediately in order to:
- Understand what the truth really is
- Be more in control of your thoughts and perceptions of the world
- Have a clearer vision of where you are now and where you want your life to go

Important topics discussed include:
- Gaslighting
- False Equivalence
- False Dichotomy
- How to use Critical Thinking in your relationships and in life

Questions or comments: tony@javabud.com
Website: www.javabud.com

Finding the Truth in a Sea of Lies

This week’s podcast episode is all about Gaslighting

Why you need to know what it is
Who does it
How it’s done
Who it affects
What to do if you notice it in your life or in the life of a close friend or family member

If you don’t know anything about it, Gaslighting is one of the worst forms of emotional abuse that one person can do to another.

It’s used by Narcissists to slowly manipulate someone into questioning what they think and believe.

It’s gradually eating away at someone’s confidence, just like that saying about boiling a frog.

If you turn the heat up slowly, he won’t notice until it’s too late.

This technique is very effective at destroying someone emotionally by creating confusion, anxiety and a false reality that gives the gaslighter ultimate power over their victims life.

This is a big topic right now because here in the U.S., the entire country is being gaslighted.

And yet, there are still millions of people who don’t see it happening and how much damage it is doing.

So, I figured this show is a good opportunity to explain everything about Gaslighting.

And more importantly, what to look out for if you suspect a gaslighter is trying to manipulate you or someone you care for.

Lastly, I provide a number of resources and options to help a person break free of a Gaslighter in their life.

As far as the country is concerned, it’s pretty simple, we just have to VOTE!

A Sweaty Frog's Important Message About Gaslighting

In this week’s podcast episode I offer up proven ways to turn your Covid isolation frown upside down.

With the colder weather limiting outdoor activities and less sun there will be higher degrees of isolation anxiety.

The techniques I talk about are basic Stoic Philosophy concepts that have been successfully used by astronauts and researchers that spend months in isolation.

Highlights of the show include:

Advice from an astronaut who spent 11 months in space then came home and had to cope with the Covid isolation

Solutions from Australian researcher David Knoff who spent a year in a remote camp in Antarctica 

The power in knowing the 3rd Quarter Phenomenon and how that helped a researcher survive two years in the Biosphere 2 bubble with seven other people

And finally, how to use the pillars of Stoic philosophy to cope and survive with our Covid isolation over the next few months

Remember, anxiety is not caused by the circumstance, it’s caused by your thoughts and reactions TO the circumstance.

Be good to yourself

Be good to others

Ask for help if you need it

See you on the other side!

Tony

Questions, comments or personal coaching: tony@javabud.com

Website with a link to my book on Amazon and a freebie: www.javabud.com

Youtube channel: TheJavaBud

Coping In Isolation – Lessons from an Astronaut, Antarctica and Stoicism

Are you constantly chasing positive emotions in a maze right now?
Trying to force your way through?
Running up against the same dead ends then wasting time by getting down on yourself or upset then projecting that energy onto someone else?
Then this week’s episode is for you.
It’s a story about how my six year old granddaughter taught me a very powerful lesson in confidence and finding my flow by schooling me in a corn maze.
A big problem I see and share with my clients is that we end up being our own worst enemy.
Our high expectations lead to a lot of disappointment, anxiety and anger especially when we feel like we’re stuck and don’t have the answer to move forward.
That’s why watching my granddaughter crush the maze was so powerful and a good reminder of how we can harness our inner, unshakeable confidence, tap into our flow and get things done.
In the show I talk about:
The curse of the driven, successful person and how to tell if you have it
How a six year old’s brain is so effective at completing challenges
The formula to stop overthinking and becoming more efficient in getting things done
What is Stoic Flow and how it can help you become unstuck?
A Call to Action that any six year old can do
Questions/Comments: tony@javabud.com
Youtube Channel: TheJavaBud
Website: Javabud.com

Unshakeable Confidence and Flow as Taught by a Child in a Corn Maze

In this week’s podcast episode two perfectionists explain the struggle and how to imperfectly move forward into success.

My good friend Mariah shares her story about her struggles with her chosen college major and how she went about making some of the biggest and best changes in her life while battling her perfectionism.

The topics we touch on during the show include:

The two types of perfectionism

The role of procrastination and overthinking with perfectionists

The power of patience, perspective and surrender in achieving anything

How to snap yourself out of being perfect in order to take action towards success

Website: javabud.com
Comments/Questions: tony@javabud.com

A Perfectionist's Guide to Imperfect Success

Watch this if you want to know exactly how to crush life. 

Amanda Gorman, American poet, crushed her poem, "The Hill We Climb" and in the process showed us all the formula for making a huge impact in the world. 

There are only a few times during your life that you come across something so surprisingly powerful you literally stop in your tracks and become entranced in the power of the moment. 

For me, these situations have been rare: 

Whitney Houston singing the National Anthem after 9/11 

Nadia Comaneci scoring the first Perfect 10 in Olympic gymnastics history 

Usain Bolt practically jogging the last 20 meters of the 100 meters race because he was so much better than everyone. 

And to add to that list, Amanda Gorman. 


This 22 year old young woman embodies confidence, grace, class, intelligence and leadership. 

Her life, leading up to and including her poetry reading during the 2021 Presidential Inauguration of Joe Biden, includes a number of unfortunates and setbacks. 

Yet through it all, with help and guidance from a strong single mom, she has persisted and succeeded, and as a result bringing her gift along the way to lift up us all. 

Her formula for success is very similar to the classic Stoic Foundation of Life which is very simple yet powerful: 

Knowledge and Virtue 

Constant striving for more and better knowledge in order to think and behave with virtue, with integrity. 

In the show I talk about how she navigated the pitfalls to provide a perfect example of living a completely fulfilled life...one that we can all obtain if we just follow Amanda's example. 

Questions/Comments: tony@javabud.com 
Website: javabud.com

How to Crush Life!  by Amanda Gorman

This show is designed to Entertain, Educate and Enlighten you to rise above the roadblocks and confusion and live life on your own terms. Along with special guests, Tony Dufresne, PhD (Philosopher, Author, Speaker, Personal Coach) is all about EMPOWERING YOU by sharpening your critical thinking skills and sharing tips and advice on topics you face every day like feeling lost, making a big life decision, relationship conflicts, creating a sense of purpose and direction in life, being true to who you really are, dating, break-ups, finding a job, changing careers and creating loving relationships. Welcome to the Surrounded by Idiots Radio Podcast.

Surrounded by Idiots Radio Podcast

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