The Human Condition is an audio series featuring me, you and a conversation about everyday experiences, made simple.

The human condition is defined as "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality".

Episode #37 talks about three states of consciousness, resiliency, self-efficacy, meta-cognition, and variances between man and animal and the mind/body connection. 

References:

Adams, W. (2010-2018). Creativity and Consciousness. Retrieved from: http://www.rosejourn.com/index.php/rose/article/view/187

Bandura, A. (1994). Self-efficacy.  Retrieved from: https://www.uky.edu/~eushe2/Bandura/BanEncy.html

Campbell, J., Moyers, B. (1991). The Power of Myth. (pp. 285, 286). Print. 

Chick, N. (2018). Metacognition. Retrieved from: https://cft.vanderbilt.edu/guides-sub-pages/metacognition/

Coombs, Chelsey, (2015). Do animals have consciousness? Retrieved from: http://scienceline.org/2015/03/do-animals-have-consciousness/

Dalai Lama. (2006). Living Wisdom. Introduction. Print. 

Jung, C. (1971). The Portable Jung. (pp. 87). Print. 

Koch, C. (2018) What Is Consciousness? Retrieved from: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-is-consciousness/

Mehta, N., Ph.D. (2011). Mind-body Dualism: A Critique from a Health Perspective. Retrieved from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3115289

Schumacher, M. (2018). What is Consciousness? Retrieved from: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-is-consciousness/

Soul, Body, Yoga. (2011). The Meaning of “AUM”. Retrieved from: http://www.soulbodyyoga.com/sby-blog-mobile/item/the-meaning-of-aum

Weinberg, J. (2018). Mind-Body Connection: Understanding the Psycho-Emotional Roots of Disease. Retrieved from: https://chopra.com/articles/mind-body-connection-understanding-the-psycho-emotional-roots-of-disease

Whitman, Walt. (1983). Song of Myself. Leaves of Grass. Print.

#37 The Human Condition with Susan Marie (What Is Consciousness?)

How can I not love you 

you
just 

bring 
happy 
thoughts 
like


birds trilling in Spring 
after the last snowfall 
just like rain as it falls 
quenching the deep thirst of this Earth

like the soil
rich and deep
with stories of our forefathers
and signals of smoke
rising from campfires
lost in the velvet night 
like souls rebirthing 

every 
single
second  

How can I not love you 
like I love myself 
as I love the sun 
as she shines her knowing eye 
and the moon 
as she keeps watch over our tired souls

How can one despise such beautiful sights 
feelings 
emotions 
thoughts 
passions 
and states of simply 
being?

For to not love you
is to not love myself
and to despise the sun and moon
the dirt and Earth
the canyons and mountains 
rivers and valley 

and the very edge 
of a solitary blade of grass 
as I watch it waltz
beneath a most pristine Autumnal sky

How can I not love you  

when 
you
just 
bring 
happiness 

to 
me.

 © Susan Marie
 

For My Hermana del Alma, Te Amo, Paz.

How Can I Not Love You?

my head
hurts 

like wounds caused
by gunshots

a bullet forced
by physics
through a barrel
thin
as the membranes
that separate
my temporal lobes
as they bulge
outward
waiting to explode
volcanic
thunder

like Mt St Helen
Vesuvius
a most fiery explosion
unrequited

Dear Lord,
my hands are lined
palms
rusted with blood
not my own
but the souls of others

and I have risen them
upward
towards you
in supplication

yet now, I wish to rest
knowing
that the world is on fire
like my brain
slowly, melting


bear my melodies and songs
they are my cries
disguised as madness
as angels in choir

do you hear my voice?

it whispers secrets
of those before me 
a most heartsick feeling
and my spirit is reeling
from simply 
existing
where I 
do 
not 
belong

and in the middle I stand
on tiptoes
as a child
trying my best
to peek over the ledge
without
falling

and my neck cranes
to the farthest borders
to the great continents
and I have sunk my teeth
much too deep
into the skin of humanity

and I bite
yet am starved
standing at the abyss
needing your hand
and the tip of the wing
of an angel

so I can breathe 

again.


© Susan Marie 

Miss Mother Nature

i can write
one million poems
describing
the sweet breath
of breeze
like peaches in summertime
how they cool your brow and palette
on a day
that is sweltering,
simultaneous

or how the speech
of our forefathers
can never suffice
to explain the thoughts
that explode inside my brain
like atoms, splitting
supernovas in space
constellations ablaze
neurons sounding
and resounding
across synapses
like trapeze artists
on tripwires

and I can write
of the speech of animals
foreign to the human sense of sound
and how only they comprehend,
truly,
what they say
to one another

and I can even write of God and the heavens
the beauty of the skies at dawn and sunset
colors yet undiscovered
painted
for us all, 
daily

i can write of it all
a thousand words
describing everything

yet not one word
or poem
can ever compare
to the softness of your gaze
like the canvas of the morning tide
or your silent roar
not unlike that of the mighty lion
or precisely how your spirit connects
to my very own

i can write of it all
mere words
i can write
one million poems

and not one can ever truly describe

you

but i can try

© Susan Marie 



a thousand words

"look how it twists and turns"

look at how it twists and turns
the bend, the ridge, 
in nature -
like your words, 
sharp, razorlike,
sharks’ teeth in my skin
that you once held lovingly 
tenderly

that you once held 
you did 
hold me in your heart 
and kept me there safe 
as I did you 
in purity and bliss
like nature

how she holds dear each season 
each delicate leaf
as it falls from her womb 
to an early death 
beauteous 
wondrous 
full of color 
devoid of life 

like you 
struggling to maintain 
some semblances of control 
over your own 
ego 

like waves 
crashing 
we met 
a breath of fresh air 
you said
earnestly 
empathically 

our souls met and danced 
like lovers 
past lives 
volcanic
we were 
are 
exactly that 
and you 
cannot remember 
nor care to 
it seems 
rather focus on yourself 
needs 
wants 
desires 
and cast out those 
who you see as beneath 
who are truly above 

and like each delicate rush of seasons 
the ones who refuse to leave when new ones enter 
your insecurity roars like a lion 

my energy is erratic 
due to your lack of integrity 
honesty
authenticity
maturity
and trauma 

Oh, your poor, sad unhealed inner child . . . 

and on that bend
with the twists and turns
where we met again 
in this life now 
you have chosen to follow 
the curves and winding roads 
of confusion 
darkness
toxicity
where you feel 
most comfortable 
scared to move
change 
grow 
be
something other than 
those that accept 
this mask you wear
claiming to be 
someone
I know I recognized 

that was our purpose 
that is the message 
that is the bond 
eternal, 
unfortunately 

and you chose to break that
by judging me 
this innocent 
this beautiful creature set before you 
that you did not deserve 
in this lifetime 
and in most likely the last 

and I thank you

my lessons I have long learned 
struggled 
pained 
fought and bled for 
you criticized 
like a microscope 
holding your own imperfect lens 
to my majestic growth 

you failed to open your eyes 
although I witnessed them working just fine 

you are your own eternal damnation
your worst curse
and I believe 
somewhere deep
within the mask you so proudly wear
there is a mirror 
reflecting 
all the souls 
of those before you 
ones you hurt 
lied to 
shamed
judged 
criticized 
discriminated against 
and threw right under 
the bus 

and one day soon 
hopefully right now 
you feel my wrath 
out of love 
always out of love 
although you deserve none of mine 
not anymore 

and are blinded profusely 
by that mirror 
and fall onto your knees
in humble grace 
before the setting sun 
before the rising dawn 
in the sand and snow
grains, dirt, and earth 
with feet muddied, bleeding and bare 
until the crevices of mountains 
you so adore 
begin to bite you back 
as you have so bitten others 

and when mountains crumble and quake 
beneath your feet
unsettled
may you feel within your chest 
a thousand thrushes 
waiting to be set free 

and in this moment 
may you hear my voice 
see my face 
feel the softness of my skin 
hear my laughter 
and the brightness in my eyes 
that you so dimmed 
after creating

and when you place your feet
upon that foothold 
of life
may you hope by then 
I have wished upon you 

peace.

© Susan Marie

look how it twists and turns

Every St. Patrick's Day, I put this out, a fine Celtic Rock Band, my dear brothers, all of them, in rare performance with The Ruffians at their last South Buffalo Irish Feis. I recorded, engineered, edited and mixed this live at Cazenovia Park in the dark behind all those boards and this includes the most mind-blowing version of "Black and Tans" at 3:00 with Danny from The Ruffians rattling his bones. Be safe, enjoy, and Slainte!

Artwork © David Moore, Audio © Susan Marie and Jackdaw 

Jackdaw with The Ruffians "Black & Tans" [Slainte!]

Caught this Pileated woodpecker this morning. *smile* 

Artwork by Suren Nersisyan
http://www.art.com/gallery/id--a1796644/suren-nersisyan-posters.htm?ui=A79270BD1D834FD88C7BD9DEBA9DD4C0

Pileated Woodpecker [10 seconds]

like this
here
now

like waves
crashing
upon shore
relentless
repeated
unending

like the phases
of the moon
the constant
pull and tug
the ebb and flow
of words
written
with my fingertip
upon your brow,
the sand

i come crashing
to you
harboring shells
driftwood
and remnants of my
ocean

they cling to my tresses
like children
embedding themselves
to my soul

and you,
serene and stoic
watch in silent keep
waiting for my
roar
as that of a lioness
a black bear
thunder
lightning
a starshower

your embrace
welcomes me
with open arms
everytime
releasing my weight
allowing me to
leave with you
all that travels with me,
selflessly, on your
borders

i have loved you
in the new moon
half moon
quarter and full

i have loved you
in the searing sun
and the tsumani

i have loved you
when molten lava
set this world ablaze

before language existed
before the age of man
before thought

i have loved you in the void
as i love you
in the setting
of every weary sun
and the rise
of every new day

like this
here
now

Dear protector of my spirit,
your eyes bore down deep
into my very own
black as the night, velvet
the burnt sienna
of the searing sand
the deep rich cool jewels
hidden inside
of Mother Earths
most holy heart

like this
here
now

waves crashing
upon shore
relentless

you
push
back
defiant
bold
raging
fierce
masculine
muscled
brave and bold


oh,
yet

ever
so

gently

© Susan Marie 



like this

The great eye of heaven
hides behind clouds
not on purpose.

This is the nature of things,
change.

Like leaves
kamikaze
brave,
helpless to their fate.

They adorn
the mighty oak
unconditional
with beauteous wonder
tresses of hair
every hue imaginable

an Autumnal bridal gown

only to one day
be let loose
without warning,
arms outstretched,
wailing for one last embrace,
before flailing through the sky
relentless,
tumbling within the fierce wind,
once recognizable,
once friendly,

once home

landing upon pastures
foreign to them
left in the wild of this world
to converse among blades of grass
and finding nothing
but incessant
chatter.

And the morning dew
once refreshing
turned to frost
unannounced,
unplanned for,

and breath
turned to smoke
in the crisp cool dawn
once warm,
inviting,
safe,
 
once loving.

And words
now fall flat
upon lips
that no longer yearn
for a kiss,
so utterly precious
and eyes
no longer view beauty
once divinely adored
by sight

and the heart hardens
to ego
and begins to close
when one ceases
adoring
the sun rising
everyday
just for them.

And it makes one wonder
if the mighty oak
feels any emotion at all.

For actions are louder than words,
silence shows disinterest,
and apology —
after repeated apology —
now means nearly
nothing.

I told you this would happen.

You smiled and laughed
said “There’s no possible way”
as you stared at me,
staring at you,
lovingly
and you liked that

and I smiled back
knowing the truth
yet to pass
my chest
full
my heart
pounding
trying not to

cry
I smiled

because you needed me to be strong
and I was a pillar
like now
spitting out bits of blood and bone meal marrow
seeping from the tips of fingers
that write words
beautiful,
like you

but you threw me away
like some secondhand
thrift shop
used shoes
human
being
with
a
heart

and it has taken me a long time
to accept this absurd existence
I have chosen for myself

but you threw me away

and I kneel under this dank, grey skyline
hovering upon the Eastern shore
palms raised
lined, in supplication.

These weary hands of mine
writing words such as this
to deaf ears,
to blind eyes,
to uncaring hearts,
to the bleeding mouths of those who suffer.

Yet, I rise
because
I am love,
I rise
because
I am free,
I rise
because I am
different.

And I rise
like the sun,
and rise
like constellations,
and rise
like mountains echoing time
after time,
that the sky
is
crying
thunder,

again.

You see,
you once saw,
like the others.

Yet, you threw me away.

Like seasons,
change,
is the nature of things.

I have been letting you go
for months
and
you
cannot
even
tell
the
difference.

photo & words © Susan Marie 

Published here: http://www.rebellesociety.com/2015/10/03/the-nature-of-things-poetry/

The Nature of Things

My kiss
may never meet
your lips

and our eyes
may never be
locked
in ultimate ecstatic
wonder,
simply,
of one another.

My hands
may never grasp
your own,
as they work their way
along my
skin,
soft,
pure,
marking lines
etched,
eons ago
recalled,
remembered,
brought to life
for you,
always
for you,
for us.

only -

This does not
cause me grief,
my sweet surrender.

Our souls
have met
before
and yet again,
here and now.

My love,
we share lifetimes
that others
standing side by side
may never discover.

Our most holy union
resides
between the thin line
that hides
between the sunset
and the ocean,

eternal.

Image & words © Susan Marie 



Hope

Jennifer Campbell --> http://jennifer-campbell.com/ educator, poet and writer, invited me to speak to her University students on Modern Poetry, Writing and Spoken Word. This is a short excerpt of that visit. The students had such enlightening questions to ask me during and after. I am most honored to have been able to speak to students on writing. This is funny and up front and I hope you enjoy! 

University Students & Modern Poetry [Visiting Poet]

This is an audio CD excellent for meditation. It has nature, birds, waves, bells and soundscapes. © Allegro Corporation http://www.allegro-music.com/

Healing Moods: Nature/Birds/Waves/Sounds

Our Lady Peace is: Raine Maida: vocals, lyricist, Duncan Coutts: bass, Jeremy Taggart: percussion, and Steve Mazur: guitar.

Our Lady Peace produced their seventh album, "Burn Burn" released on Warner Music's Independent Label Group. This album is their first since 2005, self produced by the band at Raine's home studio in L.A. Our Lady Peace surpassed Platinum sales status in Canada, sold over 5 million albums worldwide, won four Juno awards, The Much Music Awards and have shared the stage with Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, The Rolling Stones, Van Halen, Faith No More, The Goo Goo Dolls, The Ramones, Stone Temple Pilots and Alanis Morrisette.

© Susan Marie, Our Lady Peace 
http://www.ourladypeace.net/

One Hour with Raine Maida of Our Lady Peace [Live Music]

(There is a buzz on Jane's landline, before the days of current technology, but it goes away. I am unable to get rid of the buzz no matter how I edit this clip) 

In 2009, I had the pleasure of speaking to Jane Elliott, internationally known teacher, lecturer, diversity trainer, and recipient of the National Mental Health Association Award for Excellence in Education, exposes prejudice and bigotry for what it is, an irrational class system based upon purely arbitrary factors. And if you think this does not apply to you. . . you are in for a rude awakening.

In response to the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. over thirty years ago, Jane Elliott devised the controversial and startling, "Blue Eyes/Brown Eyes" exercise. This, now famous, exercise labels participants as inferior or superior based solely upon the color of their eyes and exposes them to the experience of being a minority. Everyone who is exposed to Jane Elliott's work, be it through a lecture, workshop, or video, is dramatically affected by it. 

http://www.janeelliott.com/

One Hour with Jane Elliott [Blue Eyes/Brown Eyes exercise]

This is performed by my son, William, who self taught himself Adele's song, 'When We Were Young" and he learned this in about 10 minutes. 

The original song is here, start at around :40 - 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDWKuo3gXMQ

And this audio is half of the song. 

Audio © William Robert 
Song/Music © "When We Were Young" is a song by English singer and songwriter Adele from her third studio album, 25 (2015). The song was written by Adele Adkins and Tobias Jesso Jr. http://adele.com/

Photo © Adele on '25' album cover artwork photographed by Alasdair McLellan 



Piano: When We Were Young

The buzz-saw
grits and grinds,
metal teeth rip skin,
chewing and spitting
parts of bones and marrow.

Fumes spew smoke-trails
for miles,
so all can see my death,
my demise.

And no one seems to mind
that each tear into flesh
is pain,
and that the dust
is my blood,
falling onto the grass,
laying there,
as if
it is nothing.

My cries are not heard by humans,
my voice is muted,
but the sound of the buzzing of the saw,
the heat of the blade
boiling in the sun,
the sweat of the hands
of the man,
driving that blade deep
into
my
very
soul -

The core of this Earth.

Someone stop this -
please, they are killing me,
someone hear me cry.

With each buzz of the blade,
my eyes grow more dim,
my breath is caught.

My God -
I am bleeding
right into the roots
of where I was born.

The grass holds me dearly,
- God bless the green -
the dandelions tilt their weary heads
and tears turn to puffs of cotton
flowing on Spring-times breeze.

And the hands that hold the blade
have mercy on them,
for they are but a vehicle.

And a lone tear escapes
from the eye of the hand of the man
cutting my limbs to pieces,
and it falls upon my shoulder
now bare, once covered in bark.

And my goodness,
the tears are hidden
beneath the cap of a hat,
shielding the human eye from sun
or perhaps,
from the stares of onlookers -

who may deem him mad
for having a heart.

***

This was inspired by the first line in this article and experience written by L.R. Heartsong [River] called "Saving the Grandmother" http://www.soulartistjournal.com/index.php/2016/04/24/saving-the-grandmother/

Photo © L.R. Heartsong 
Words © Susan Marie 



buzz-saw

Live from a Dojo after a Reiki treatment and guided meditation, with Ruben Zukowski, DJ, musician and Reiki Master, specializing in global fusion and sound healing. I speak of my experience this evening. 

This is a precious conversation that covers the basic tenements of Reiki,  various healing modalities with a special focus on Ruben's musical talents. 

We feature live bells, gongs and bowls that reverberated throughout the dojo. 

Zuk is full of life and throughout this interview, we are laughing hysterically while speaking of deep spiritual truths, the power of thoughts, words, music, chakras, arts, and culture. 

You can listen to Zuk's music here: https://www.reverbnation.com/zukova

This interview was conducted during the early stages of both of our spiritual journeys. I will treasure this always. 

Image © Ruben Zukowski  - Grayn [grain] music 

The book we mention is here: Dr. Emoto http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/emoto.html

Live From a Dojo: Reiki, Music, Healing, Laughter

I am always blown away by the beautiful people I meet and share [as I upload to my website] interviews that blow my mind. This is 25 minutes with Tenzin Phenthok, a Buddhist monk from Drepung Loseling Monastery http://www.drepung.org/ in India. We discuss the basics of Buddhism, history of China, Tibet, energy, meditation, and the continuum of the human mental state. I remember being awestruck standing right here in this moment and I hope you do too.  I will treasure this always 

Image © Drepung 

Please check out: http://www.drepung.org/

Tashi delek! 

Drepung Loseling Monastery, History of Tibetan Buddhism

This is an interview conducted by Cara Bradley via Women for One.

Spoken-word poet and broadcast journalist Susan Marie shares with Cara Bradley how she connects with others through positivity and authenticity in our most recent Real Women, Courageous Wisdom podcast.

 Here’s what we spoke about: 

6:45 The power of metaphor
9:20 Why we aren’t supposed to be perfect
11:25 You are not broken
13:00 What are you doing for yourself?
16:40 The art of spoken word
19:15 What it means to stop caring what people think of you
23:05 Susan’s eulogy

Real Women Courageous Wisdom

You Are Not Broken [My Interview with Women For One]

Rebekah Keaton was featured with me at The Center for Inquiry in May 2017. This is the audio of her reading.

Rebekah Keaton @ The Center for Inquiry

I see hate, everywhere, 
and it is not my perception,
I see hate, people, 
I see people hurting people hurting self hurting all of us -

I see people shaming people, 
but people, we ARE the people. 
I see batons and whips and masses 
that march to beats of any drums -

I see people maimed, cursed, killed, 
for speaking their mind, 
for being alive & living, 

I see people hurting people, people -

I see our world, tipped right off its axis, like a nervous breakdown, 
dear humankind, 
we have entered our dark sides -

And I see light, I see peaceful protest, 
I see kind hands and hearts, 
I see arms reaching down 
to help another up -

I see unity and solidarity, 
and in between the hate, 
I see people being people 
helping people to be people, 
for we are only human -

I see rivers and oceans, 
waves of tears, 
wet then dry, 
hands held together, 
wiping clean dirty faces made pure -

I see madness & sanity, side by side, marching towards greatness, 
pushing others out of line, 
another, leaning in to lend a hand -

I see mountains quake 
and canyons bellow, 
I hear the distant call of the vultures 
as they circle in for their feeding -

I hear the cool rush sweet stream drawing all of us closer, to drink, to rest, to be ready for this vast great change  -

I see masses of people, face to face, acknowledging the light and dark, 
I see warriors being made 
and the violent running for cover -

And I see you, me, all of us, 
struggling to breathe, 
to make sense of madness, 
to attempt to exist 
in what is nonexistent -

I see the death of this dying world, 
at last, eventual, 
after the struggles are done, 
the warriors walk wounded -

And I see a peace, 
embedded within hearts of those aware, the new world lit up 
like fireworks, 
in the deep dark velvet night -

So walk, lightly, dear soul, 
choose your words wisely, 
for this world is changing, 
we are history books in the making -

And be grateful for breath, 
your blood, for your life, 
be grateful, be mindful, 
for you are necessary 
in this strange new world -

You are needed in this time of dying, dear friend. 

Swear to the skies, 
to yourself, 

that what you do 
and what you say, 
matters.

© Susan Marie

Death In A Dying World

I have no idea what year I did this but am going through my radio audio and found this. I interviewed myself because I absolutely despise some of the silly questions people have asked me during interviews that have nothing to do with me, my work, my life or beliefs or what I may be supporting. It seems people always have agendas and as a broadcaster, I just like to talk to people. By allowing someone to feel comfortable and listened to, you both learn, thus, you educate the world. This makes me laugh listening because it sounds like two different people. This is fun to listen to.  I am insane, what can I say? *smile*

An Interview with Myself

This poem is read forward then backward :

The Reformation and Degradation of Humanity

I am caught
in the turbine
the windmill
the tsunami the earthquakes

the wars and drones
the dropping bombs
on
innocent souls

humanity has taken me
its breaking me
into this
now

the world
going wrong
and right

my heart bleeds
on bloodied knees
begging you
to take this weight
replace it with no hate

make the world see
through my eyes

through the trees
ancient limbs
lost in bundles of bodies
strewn
in graveyards
of thought
and rhyme
of time

this time

Our time is now

the simultaneous

reformation
and
degradation

of humanity


© Susan Marie 2012

The Reformation and Degradation of Humanity

I am
that which
cannot be caged,
tamed, tried,
understood, included,
deluded, or left.

Misunderstood.

I am the fairy-tailed children
asleep beneath blankets
on a cool summers eve,
books in palms,
eyes shut tight,
warding off monsters
in closets
underneath the bed.

The angelic presence
in dreams,
the dark rising depths,
present in the time
between night and day.

I am the bleeding hearts
of artists,
music flowing
like manes
of thoroughbreds.

Strings and violins,
concertos and preludes,
the rise and fall,
of notes,
the voice
of the oppressed,
painting alone,
writing alone,
speaking to the masses
standing in front
of sculptures
in galleries,
half-numb
from having their soul
placed on a public platter,
picked apart
and critiqued.

I am the constellations,
the stars,
the ancient raiment
of the majestic
velvet night,
coaxing solitude,
and creation,
rendering you
sleepless
with desire.

The great God
contemplating existence,
tossing magic
and medicine,
electrified
towards earth,
teaching lessons to the
mere human soul.

I am.
Woman.
Man.
Child.
Mother.
Father.
Brother.
Sister.

I am a lover,
loved,
loving.

I am the volcanic rumblings
of every tired soul,
and every smile
and tear.

I am an argument
and agreement.
The birds that birth
in your
crown chakra.

Their song
is mine.

All creatures,
earth, dirt, silt
gems, stones,
twigs, and trees.

Every root and crevice,
all footholds and paths,
the waving branches
pregnant with leaves.

Every rock and shell,
the waves and oceans,
all bodies of water,
feathers, flight,
the bees that buzz
around the new bud,
the hand that guides
a sprout from seed.

The secrets the wind
whispers.

The fierce embrace
of winter,
the warmth upon
your face,
heart, body, soul,
and the sweet cool
calming waters
of life.

I am death.
Wild.

I am woman.
Here.
Now.

I am every element.

All emotions,
every fable told
by firelight,
Every word written,
spoken, uttered,
screamed and sighed.

The true Goddess,
the wild soul.

I am that
which cannot
be kept,
nor set free.

I exist
without logic,
in rational conscious
thought,
in esoteric
holy nakedness.

I am the rich man
and beggar,
the king and the jester.

I am the grass,
all species,
and the sky.

Kaleidoscopes
of spectrums.

I am good
versus
evil,
versus
self,
versus
sentience.

I am a conundrum
unto myself,
a human shell
existing
as pure
ether.

I am heaven
and hell.

I am the destroyer
and creator

simultaneous.


© Susan Marie

From "Shahada" --> https://www.amazon.com/Shahada-Susan-Marie/dp/1975992024/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

I Am

for this exact moment of existence
i disassociate myself
from humanity

this time
right now
i am unable to fathom
the hoops
human beings
jump through
to cause madness
in anothers life

the Earth is dying 
people are starving
beaten, battered                                               
then murdered

human
             rights
                         are
                                   non
                                             existent

Utopia is not so bad, not really
complete absence
of natural sunlight
genetically harvested food
domed cities and Big Brother
reincarnated as a new prophet

(the polar bear is not so damned)

i disassociate myself
from humans
although i am just that
i am unable to identify
with this new breed
of hatred

i simply wish to finish my own existence
in an absinthe fog
or pill induced slumber

maybe a fall down a rabbit hole
is not so insane
and insanity is not as crazy as perceived

maybe Alice was a lesson
maybe I need a new pill
to cause me to speak differently
for it seems my voice
no longer reaches
anyone speaking
any "known" language

maybe the polar bear might understand me
as we roam together
both barefoot
clad in fur
thirsting for a new land
pads of feet drying
beneath a poisoned sun

maybe he has secrets to tell me
and i shall ride bareback
seeking solace in wilderness
upon such majestic beast

where there is no speech

only silence

Words & Photography © Susan Marie

Utopia

Dizzy,
dying,
walking,
free.

My soul
drifts,
like snowflakes,
falling,
faster,
the air I breathe
fills my lungs,

my lungs . . .

The sun hides
its weary face,
yet the trees
are blanketed,
safe,
secure,
nurtured,
and sound -
is resounding
in my head,
a boomerang,
sonic booms,
supernovas,
of electric light,
the breath of those
that created
this,
have settled upon my eyelashes
like confetti on New Years Eve,
wide,
white,
wondrous,
and wild.

I can hear them landing,
upon my face,
wet

upon my head,
hallowed

upon my skin,
welcome.

And I bear witness to this day,
this season,
my body sings,
my feet, electric,
my eyes,
shining,
the dearest of eves.

My Lord,

I am born,
birthed,
re-birthed,
and my soul,
cries out
in unison,

with the silence
of this most holy sky. 

© Photo and words Susan Marie

Snowflakes

This came from a writing prompt asking: Think of a voice sitting on the shoulder of a historical figure constantly whispering into their ear.   

So I wrote, and this is what I came up with. The voice is the conscience of Adolf Hitler. 

In German, these words mean: 


Vater: Father
Mutter: Mother
Lieb Junge: young dear boy
Führer: leader
Führerbunker: shelter for the leader, the Führer's shelter. 

This has been published twice. 

First, at the Carl Jung Center in Buffalo, NY in the anthology A Celebration of Western New York Poets  and recently, in a chapbook via The Poet's Haven in Ohio, titled Darker Than Fiction. 

Vater
 
I watched your rebirth onto this plane. We all looked on, noble wolf, while Mutter solemnly masked her pain. Vater whipped you in your later years while I stood silent in shadows. The time was not yet right.       

A Bohemian should have suited you fine following the death of Vater. The canvas was to be your escape, yet you held no decree, no privilege. 

The key held tightly in my bony grasp. Waiting . . . waiting for the day you would be attuned to my voice.  

I foresaw millions waving to you in homage and showed the skin of my teeth in skeletal grin.

Was it the constant rejection of Vienna that caused you to change your train of thought? To lie your brush down lightly to rest and pick baton in hand as whip to march the masses?

You certainly were far from unintelligent. My constant chattering eventually led you to write words I had been whispering for ages.

When Mutter passed, you began the uprisal. I honestly did not realize the impact I had on you then. I only wanted to be heard; yet you outlived my spirit.       

You began to frighten even me with your constant babble and I held hands to my ears, drowning out the rivers of bloodletting I birthed.   

Even when you stopped listening to me, you led them through the wires. You ceased to believe in the cause. 

The message was lost when the armies marched yellow stars to silent deaths.

I only needed to speak Führer. The plans we schemed were far beyond my reach. You did not require my guidance. You forced me from your heart.

Oh, Lieb Junge, I weep tears that do not fall from your eyes. They grew cold and dead while Berlin startled itself awake to gunshots in the night.

Your body lies in smoke and ash, alongside family and comrades. Bitter almond trailing, colorless.

Wisps of history lost in rubble.

The Führerbunker safe within the breast of the beast you battled.

 

© 2018 Susan Marie

Vater

The Human Condition is a weekly 10 minute audio series featuring me, you and a conversation about everyday experiences made simple.

The human condition is defined as "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality".

Episode #4 covers art appreciation, the debate about - what is and what is not considered art, the main art periods, movements, sub-genres (Ancient Classical, Medieval, Renaissance, Neo-Classicism, Romanticism, Modern Art, Contemporary Art, Indigenous, Islamic, Hindu, Asian, African Art), a funny story about Jackson Pollack, the Artistic Preferences Scale 1.2. and something fun for you to try. 

Resources:

Artistic Preferences Scale 1.2 Demonstration: https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/APS/

Sit back, relax and enjoy.

I rely on your feedback, so hit me up.

Please share, subscribe and follow on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-human-condition-with-susan-marie/id1455068968?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4

YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC2wg77y8t0SMIeHXZEtZPCw

Soundcloud: @susan-marie

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter with audio: https://suemarie.substack.com/

Peace,

Susan Marie

#4 The Human Condition with Susan Marie (Why Is This Considered Art?)

The Human Condition is a weekly 10-12 minute audio series featuring me, you and a conversation about everyday experiences, made simple.

The human condition is defined as "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality".

Episode #15 covers pride, gender and orientation, focusing on the reason for Pride Month, Stonewall, the Pride Flag, history and several films and documentaries, terminology associated with the spectrum, including becoming involved with PFLAG & The Trevor Project. June is Pride Month. 

Resources:

PFLAG: https://pflag.org/

The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Gender Spectrum definitions: https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms

Gender: The Spaces Between: https://www.cbsnews.com/video/gender-the-space-between/  

Gender Revolution: https://www.netflix.com/title/80186731 

Queer Eye: https://www.netflix.com/title/80160037 

POSE: https://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/pose

Queer as Folk: https://www.hulu.com/series/queer-as-folk-a9e832ab-e715-438c-bd62-fbc6acc961b7 

Milk: https://www.netflix.com/title/70100084 

Dallas Buyers Club: https://www.netflix.com/title/70275751

Philadelphia: https://www.amazon.com/Philadelphia-Tom-Hanks/dp/B000I9YV12 

Please share, subscribe and follow on iTunes, YouTube, Soundcloud, Google Podcasts, and Amazon Podcasts. 

Peace,

Susan Marie

#16 The Human Condition with Susan Marie (What is Pride? Gender and Sexual Orientation)

The Human Condition is a 10-15 minute audio series featuring me, you and a conversation about everyday experiences, made simple.

The human condition is defined as "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality".

Episode #25 covers the shadow self, facing the unconscious, understanding shadow work and recognizing that regardless of what you discover, that you are indeed, supremely worthy. 

Please share, subscribe and follow on iTunes: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-…ie/id1455068968

Google Play Music: play.google.com/music/listen#/ps/…xqb4t2goivrphpfoa

Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/2a8dhXBEkVwbgnVFGj5WsC

Soundcloud: @susan-marie

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter with audio: https://suemarie.substack.com/


References:

Adreanna Limbach: http://adreannalimbach.com/

Mark Nepo: http://marknepo.com/index.php#

Full Text from Internet Archives of The Portable Jung, edited by Joseph Campbell: 
https://archive.org/stream/ThePortableJung/The%20Portable%20Jung_djvu.txt

Shadow Work Guide PDF: https://scottjeffrey.com/wp-content/uploads/Shadow-Work-Guide.pdf

Joseph Campbell: Jung and the Shadow System: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzYsi3SV1bY

Peace,

Sue

#25 The Human Condition with Susan Marie (Facing Your Shadow Self)

The Human Condition is a 10-15 minute audio series featuring me, you and a conversation about everyday experiences, made simple.

The human condition is defined as "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality".

Episode #31 covers life meaning and purpose, self-efficacy, resilience, and Nietzsche’s Thought Experiment. 

Please share, subscribe and follow on iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-%E2%80%A6ie/id1455068968

Google Play Music: https://play.google.com/music/listen#/ps/%E2%80%A6xqb4t2goivrphpfoa

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2a8dhXBEkVwbgnVFGj5WsC

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/susan-marie

References:

Please support this podcast on Patreon: www.patreon.com/SueMarie/membership

APA on Resilience: https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience

Nietzsche and John Kaag: https://www.brainpickings.org/2018/12/19/hiking-with-nietzsche-john-kaag-eternal-return/

Into the Wild 30 second audio copyright: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758758/, Director: Sean Penn, Writers: Sean Penn (screenplay), Jon Krakauer (book), Emile Hirsch (actor)

Peace,

Sue

#31 The Human Condition with Susan Marie (Self-efficacy, Resilience, Nietzsche’s Thought Experiment)

The Human Condition is a 10-15 minute audio series featuring me, you and a conversation about everyday experiences, made simple.

The human condition is defined as "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality".

Episode #32 covers lessons I learned from watching birds, from a sparrow, regarding the middle way, mindfulness, crisis, compassion, kindness and facing self and others with authenticity. 

Please share, subscribe and follow on iTunes: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-…ie/id1455068968

Google Play Music: play.google.com/music/listen#/ps/…xqb4t2goivrphpfoa

Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/2a8dhXBEkVwbgnVFGj5WsC

Soundcloud: @susan-marie

References:

Pandemic Resources: https://jackkornfield.com/pandemic-resources/

Meditation: Compassion in the Time of Coronavirus: https://jackkornfield.com/compassion-in-the-time-of-coronavirus/

The Bodhisattva Response to Coronavirus: https://jackkornfield.com/the-bodhisattva-response-to-the-virus/

Peace, 
Susan Marie

#32 The Human Condition with Susan Marie (Lessons From A Sparrow)

The Human Condition is an audio series featuring me, you and a conversation about everyday experiences, made simple.

The human condition is defined as "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality".

Episode #33 covers COVID-19, my experience with it, I am currently diagnosed with Moderate COVID and this podcast includes rational data, my personal experience so far, advice from my doc, unusual symptoms to watch for, and helpful things for all of us to keep us healthy. There may be a Part II to this, I am now on Day 6 and days 4-10 are the test to see if things get better or things get worse. Prayers and support much appreciated. 

Please share, subscribe and follow on iTunes, Google Play Music, Spotify and Soundcloud. Just search "Susan Marie, The Human Condition. As a creative professional, if you are so inclined, there is a donate button on Soundcloud: https://www.paypal.me/SusanMarieNY

References:

Dark Night of the Soul: https://healthypsych.com/navigating-the-dark-night-of-the-soul/

Breathing exercises, maintaining lung function: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IHDtpp0MqA&feature=youtu.be

CDC Self Checker: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html

Peace,
Susan Marie

#33 The Human Condition with Susan Marie (COVID+ Moderate 101, Yeah, this is me)

The Human Condition is an audio series featuring me, you and a conversation about everyday experiences, made simple.

The human condition is defined as "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality".

Episode #34 is Part II, please listen to Episode #33, Part I: https://soundcloud.com/susan-marie/33-the-human-condition-with-susan-marie-covid-moderate-101-yeah-this-is-me first. 

This is my ongoing experience with Moderate COVID-19 and this podcast includes rational data, my personal experience so far, advice from my doc, unusual symptoms to watch for, and helpful things for all of us to keep us healthy. There may be a Part III to this, I am now on Day 10. Prayers and support much appreciated.

Please share, subscribe and follow on iTunes, Google Play Music, Spotify and Soundcloud. Just search "Susan Marie, The Human Condition." 

As a creative professional, if you are so inclined, there is a donate button on Soundcloud: https://www.paypal.me/SusanMarieNYwww.paypal.me

References:

Coronavirus symptoms: 10 key indicators and what to do: https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/15/health/10-key-coronavirus-symptoms-wellness/index.html

Breathing exercises, maintaining lung function: www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IHDtpp0M…&feature=youtu.be

CDC Self Checker: www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html

Peace,

Susan Marie

#34 The Human Condition with Susan Marie (Part II: COVID+ Moderate 101, Day 10)

The Human Condition is an audio series featuring me, you and a conversation about everyday experiences, made simple.

The human condition is defined as "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality".

Episode #35 is Part III, please listen to Episode #33 & 34:

Part I: https://soundcloud.com/susan-marie/33-the-human-condition-with-susan-marie-covid-moderate-101-yeah-this-is-me

Part II: https://soundcloud.com/susan-marie/34-the-human-condition-with-susan-marie-part-ii-covid-moderate-101-day-10

This is my ongoing experience with Moderate COVID-19 and this podcast includes rational data, my personal experience, advice, unusual symptoms, aseptic technique, differences between COVID testing/Antibody testing/Convalescent Plasma, How Micro droplets suspend in air and helpful things for all of us to keep us healthy. This is the last podcast I am doing on my personal experience.  Thankfully, I recovered. Not everyone is so lucky. 

Please share, subscribe and follow on iTunes, Google Play Music, Spotify and Soundcloud. Just search "Susan Marie, The Human Condition."

References:

Cytokine Storms: https://www.webmd.com/lung/news/20200417/cytokine-storms-may-be-fueling-some-covid-deaths

Blood Clotting: https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-usa-blood/alarmed-as-covid-patients-blood-thickened-new-york-doctors-try-new-treatments-idUSKCN22421Z

https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2020/04/24/strokes-coronavirus-young-patients/

Effects on the Brain: https://www.wired.com/story/what-does-covid-19-do-to-your-brain/

Mental Health: https://www.medscape.org/viewarticle/927485

Micro droplets suspending in air video: https://vimeo.com/402577241 

CDC Mask Info: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prevent-getting-sick/diy-cloth-face-coverings.html

Aseptic Technique: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lumZOF-METc 


Peace,

Susan Marie

#35 The Human Condition with Susan Marie (Part III: COVID+, Day 20)

Poetry and Spoken Word by me. I have missed writing, taking a break from my podcast to be creative.

On the Backs of Beasts

a threshold, she stood,
feet, bare, body clad,
in white cotton raiment
swirling about her ankles,
as the wind
sang like a lute,
upon the still night sky.

a woman's song
carried upon the breeze,
playing with the edges
of light and dark,
night and day,
the precious time,
between
dusk and nightfall.

her ravensong
burst forth
from mouth,
wide open in awe,
chin upturned,
jawbone outlined,
tears precious
gifted in humble grace,
against the light
of the coming
of fresh eve.

the lyrics
danced around her shoulders,
tickling them just so -
tussling hair,
three feet long -
burnt sienna skied tresses.

a dreamcatcher
she was,
weaving lives
within lives,
connecting the dots,
with her fingertip raised
pointed at stars,
moving them
across Father Sky -
to meld into one another -

just
like
lovers.

this is her solace -
the ancient firmament
where Gods and Goddesses exist,
eternal,
where celestial wars rage,
she pulls both arms outward
with heart, full -
like some majestic holy crucifixion
and met the maelstrom head on -

for this
is
all
she
knows.

- forward -

and she jumps
happily,
into this rebirth,
this knowing and unknowing,
learning and unlearning,
growing and dying,
smiling while screaming inside -

to lead
not only herself
but others  -
into the great abyss,
the infinite chasm,
the unknown universe,
the holy grail,
the swan songs of birds,
the most precious calling
to the wild souls of nature,
beyond all
that
is.

a threshold, she stood
feet, bare, body clad,
in white cotton raiment
swirling about her ankles
as the wind
sang like a lute
upon the still night sky.

Words & Audio © Susan Marie
Artwork © Cate Parr 
https://www.pinterest.com/cateparr/

ravensong

The Human Condition is an audio series featuring me, you and a conversation about everyday experiences, made simple.

The human condition is defined as "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality".

Episode #36 talks about the stress response, trauma, the nervous system, self-care, building  resilience, calming strategies, mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and how to realistically manage self-care habits.

References: 

Resilience and Self Care Basics by Dr. Sam Himelstein: https://courses.centerforadolescentstudies.com/course/resilience-and-self-care-basics-for-helping-professionals/

Tupac Shakur: The Rose That Grew From Concrete: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/151809.The_Rose_That_Grew_from_Concrete

Dave Pelzer: A Child Called “It”: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60748.A_Child_Called_It

Deep Breathing Relaxation Videos: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV4n555lQ3o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vca6DyFqt4c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wemm-i6XHr8

On iTunes, Soundcloud, Amazon Music and Audible. 

Peace, 

Sue

#36 The Human Condition with Susan Marie (Self-Care, Breath Manipulation, Stress, Trauma)

"The Human Condition with Susan Marie" is a 10-15 minute audio series featuring conversations about everyday experiences made simple. The human condition is defined as "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality".

Broadcast Journalist, Author, Poet, LMHC, LPC, NYSCPS

Susan Marie

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