hiraeth. eight months in the making.
featuring: @onlyfriendyeah
produced by: @lindenblossom
cover art by: @ejcarrmusic
i hope you enjoy <3
thank you for everything.

lyrics:
it feels like im missing something
a portrait unfinished
my life has been next to nothing
a chord thats diminished

cuz i’ll wait for change
and better days
just to come home with nothin
or maybe i’ll
just stay the same
cuz im too good at suffering
and i could always
take the blame
for all of my shortcomings 

hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

(onlyfriend)
maybe it's all for nothing
all the choices i make lead me closer to the coffin
no i can't take the weight of the changes
and i don't rly know what i'm doing
just pretend that you can't see me fading
and shy away raising no alarms
like i'm safe from harm
when i'm too far gone
and i can't hear a word from you

hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

(both)
hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

hiraeth (feat. onlyfriend) [linden]

spotify!

INTRO:
promise you won’t forget me
i’ve been feeling so empty
is this the end of tonight
am i saying goodbye 
for the very last time
i don’t want to rewind
i can’t go on living this lie

CHORUS:
oh where did the time go?
you said you’d be back tomorrow
i took your lead i followed (followed)
straight back to my sorrows (sorrows)
so i’ll ask you again where did the time go (where did it go)

POST CHORUS:
you left me here defenseless
i’ve never 
been so fuckin helpless
whatever
you gotta be so desperate 
to even turn to me for pleasure

SENDFLOWRS VERSE:
for pleasure i can’t lie i’m fucked 
droolin from my mouth like everytime we talk
you always told me i can look but i can’t touch
wait that’s the weed man i think i’m finally done
erase my name from your phone
you better
tell him straight and never come home
i’m gonna
tear his flesh from the bone
and i might 
catch a case you made me so cold (so cold)
you fake bitches
i’m a sinner
i stay sinning 
i dream of you but i’m not the one you’re kissing
like baby come over here lemme show you what you missing

OUTRO:
see my head spin
round and round
i just wanna get out of this town
look at my face and you’ll see a frown
but don’t be surprised 
when you see my wounds are open wide
don’t cry tonight
with your ocean blue eyes

where did the time go ft. sendflowrs (wisssery x jolst)

1st @strivemusicau | 2nd @kuriositylol | 3rd @noxious-nights | 4th @autumndropsdead | 5th @user-411557229 |

(strivesad.)
yeah i won't play nice
am i doing this right
i'll confine
in my sadness tonight
and i'll never say goodbye
to torture my mind
turn this darkness to light
gotta fight for my life (ooh)

(kuriosity)
lately ive been nauseous
cant eat right
ive been throwing up
smoke a L so i can eat
i put my feelings in the trunk
smoke till i cant see
drink till im throwin up
what am i waiting for
no im not blowing up
cheap liquor i put it on ice 
if it aint me u aint doin it right
lil bitch why u switchin up sides
lil bitch why u switchin up sides
fuck u ion play it nice 
fuck u ion play it nice
fuck u 
fuck u 
fuck u ion play it nice 

(noxiousnights)
i just took a break from that drink and that weed
i'm sober as fuck and i'm so fucking exhausted
working on my health, i was killin myself
had to throw away all the pills on my shelf
but i don't give a fuck, i could die tomorrow
they would run over my body if it was on the road
heart like stone and broken like my phone
i'm left in the cold and it's freezing my bones

(autumndropsdead)
can’t correlate with my head 
even though i try 
i don’t feel any better yet
so i sulk instead, life’s on the line
never knew where my shelter is
but we never knew what we started
people talk, but i choose not to worry us
at least i go all in, fuck your polish 
you ain’t gonna make me trust

(residential.)
wasting time
wasting shit
i been in my head
blew a stack
cause i can
now the beamer red
talking less
to my friends
now im in my bed
where the fuck
do you go
when your better dead
smoking gasoline under evergreen bleeding
sold your daughter green now she on my screen feening
never showing up
i been in my room leaning
i think i enjoy when my fingers lose feeling

Darkness 2 Light w/ autumndropsdead, residential, kuriosity, strivesad & noxiousnights [+ sogimura]

(casperrr)
blacking out, passing out in my bedroom~
felt so cold everytime that i saw you
addicted to this pain what can i do~
i know i should but i don't want to leave u
blacking out, passing out in my bedroom~
felt so cold everytime that i saw you
addicted to this pain what can i do~
i know i should but i don't want to leave u

drinking a lot so i don't think bout shit
i ran out of blunts lemme get back at it
my life is a problem and i failed mathematics
fuck the world outside my life is in the attic
17 depression's all around me
mom and dad both are pretty sick
never had any1 to take care of me
i already know everybody is gonna leave

blacking out, passing out in my bedroom~
felt so cold everytime that i saw you
addicted to this pain what can i do~
i know i should but i don't want to leave u
blacking out, passing out in my bedroom~
felt so cold everytime that i saw you
addicted to this pain what can i do~
i know i should but i don't want to leave u

(kanashi)
fucked up, spun out in my bedroom
time moves so slow in this cell without you
can i just rewind? i didnt realize
that we were running out of time
i dont know why im like this
i push everyone away
always give in to the darkness
there is no other way...

bad dreams keep me awake at night
you're so bad for me...
but i still try...

ohhhh...i still try
i still try...

(casperrr)
blacking out, passing out in my bedroom~
felt so cold everytime that i saw you
addicted to this pain what can i do~
i know i should but i don't want to leave u

blacking out, passing out in my bedroom w/kanashi (irby)

OUT NOW ON STREAMING 
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/yokaidreams/heart-of-stone-feat-autumndropsdead

FOLLOW AUTUMN AHHH 
https://soundcloud.com/autumndropsdead


lyrics

yokai:

i can't be ur knight in shining armor
bitter woes just push me farther
and i lack any resolve to save u
don't do that just makes this harder
look me in the eyes, i need to calm down
this heart of stone, your steely gaze just might break thru

and i
understand if you hate me i do, oh i do
so try
to cope with the fact that i'm not the man that your'e used to

i can't be ur knight in shining armor
bitter woes just push me farther
and i lack any resolve to save u
don't do that just makes this harder
look me in the eyes, i need to calm down
this heart of stone, your steely gaze just might break thru

autumn:

but they don't know me, and they never will
just how much more's left to say? 
i'll take that shit and decay
but just not to my grave
lie to yourself out of pity
life's not right; imma fly out the city
say it'll be alright, okay?
i no longer believe what i say

knees are falling
i can smell the pollen
i'm fucking sick of random people calling
i don't have too much left to give
the thought of it is making me sick

turnt my face towards the tainted sky
it left me hurt, i don't know why

Heart Of Stone w/ autumndropsdead (in bloom)

wasn't originally gonna post this but whatever

produced by emptychest

completely non profit

lyrics

love letters
she's a real "go get her"
that momento lost forever 
guessing that u burnt my sweater
all the Polaroids she took 
are on my shelf and bound in leather
it's been almost two years 
and I'm not getting any better

hold on baby 
thought u said that ud be back now
the mountains cold 
but u don't notice when ur black out
I thought that maybe
u would like me better Rollin' up loud
but oh god
I've been drinking every night now

I used to always show up early
if I'm late i wasn't gonna come
I like to say I'm always busy
truth is I was busy lighting up 
so tell me what's the plan tonight
I think that I might stay inside
I think I'll write another line
I might just do this till I die
I spend my weekends getting high
and every morning fuck my life
but I look sober in my eyes
so everybody thinks I'm doing fine
it always seems to ease my mind
so honestly it not a waste of time
cus I've got things I try to hide
things u don't want in ur life

love letters
she's a real "go get her"
that momento lost forever
guessing that u burnt my sweater
all the Polaroids she took 
are on my shelf and bound in leather
it's been almost 2 years 
and I'm not getting any better

hold on baby 
thought u said that ud be back now
the mountains cold 
but u don't notice when ur black out
I thought that maybe, 
u would like me better Rollin' up loud
but oh god, 
i've been drinking every night now


bound in leather (emptychest)

track 3 
n i’ve never felt as low as this
when u told me that u hate me
i died a bit 
now the sun feels so cold on my skin 
and nothing tastes the same, again, you win

 
yea and i cry every night when i go to sleep
i don’t wanna fight anymore please just bury me 
you’re the one i like
despite what u said to me 
i’m high as a kite 
off this mud
keep on tellin me 
that i should get help 
but u never been a friend 
so please don’t sit and cry
fake tears on my bed 
u the one that tried to help me til the end
why the fuck i need a therapist when i got u instead?

*inhale*
*exhale*
it’s as easy as that
*inhale*
*exhale*

just breathe it’s as easy at that 
as easy as that 
so i just breathe when this bitch get me mad
grayfox the king i be here til i’m dead 
had a slow year think my shit about to fall off
but i’m still here with this blood on my hands
shoutout to tropic, as easy as that
shoutout to loveless, as easy as that 
run thru the street when i’m off of my meds
but i’ll still be right here while these boys follow trends
3 playlists 1 week i’m scheming again 
people can hate but ain’t bled what i bled 
i’ve seen the fall when ur stood on the edge cus i’ve seen my own mum in a hospital bed
i’m way too high so go argue with them
got my whole life in the palm of my hands
make a no hook and then go right to bed
and u can sendflowrs when im laid to rest

just breathe, it’s as easy as that (mackk)

𝒾 𝒸𝒶𝓃'𝓉 𝓈𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉𝓈 𝓁𝑜𝓈𝓉, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒾 𝒸𝒶𝓃'𝓉 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓅 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒.

shoutout soundcloud.com/sorrow_bringer 

enjoy,,

lyrics:
(that i'm just not that worth it
i'm covered in pleads 
you got what you need from me 
now you can breathe)

i realized it's nonsense
so inane to love her 
i can't save what's lost, but i can't stop my love 
so beautiful the way we leave 
our conversations incomplete
I'm sorry, but someday you'll see

that i'm just not that worth it
i'm covered in pleads 
you got what you need from me 
now you can breathe 

cant calm myself down so i work wit the z's
look in my eyes you're so perfect to me 
what can i do to make you believe in yourself babe i swear that that's all that you need

if you're fractured inside come tell me
i wont push you away i'm sorry
that i've done that before it's on me
i would help you today in a heartbeat

i realized it's nonsense
so inane to love her 
i cant save what's lost, but i cant stop my love 
so beautiful the way we leave 
our conversations incomplete
I'm sorry, but someday you'll see

that i'm just not that worth it
i'm covered in pleads 
but you're the one that i need this time.

i can't stop my love

spotify

i can't stop my love (prod. sorrow bringer)

i've been feeling dead (prod. dead spyro)

go follow @deadfishpoland this instant
Lyrics:

SuiSai: 
I know theres no use in me tryin
Cause theres no rendezvous, leave me dyin
I can sense your true intentions
They're not pure, no.
Ye we used to laugh till we cried now
These sad eyes dont rest they've seen harsh times
Always betrayed ye its always the same shit
All the time. No.

Cause I could sit there and you would just ignore
If you want me to leave then ill muh fucking go
But if you don't i can bring you along
and ill show you the places you aint been before~
oh you know i got the dope, hop out my coupe full of shmoke
oh you want some? ye you know my eyes are low
Minute since i've seen the sun
OwO~ ooo~ OwO~ ooo~ OwO~ ooo~ OwO ye ye ye ye aye.

Deadfish:
Leave me dying please, there's no way for me
To just live my life without u by my side
Thought that we could have pulled thru nothing left
Now for me to stand up, never shouldve fucked it up

And I cant remember when was the last time we felt any better
Was it december, dont remember cause never got sober
Hangover is like my new friend, Im seeing him now everyday
And Im good with that
But

Thats what Ive said to u
The day we were parting ways
Cause I cant stand the look 
You have had on ur face

The sadness youre in is like infectious disease
Your words and touch so cold I might as well just freeze
But thats all in the past
That will never comeback

minute since i've seen the sun ~ w/ deadfish [p. ocean]

https://soundcloud.com/lilskeleskrrt
https://soundcloud.com/sinxi

minute since i've seen the sun ~ w/ deadfish [p. ocean]

suisai

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