1/13/22 I was 18 when I made this 
(Prod.Soloft) 

(intro)
What was it that you said?
I’m questioning your every movement 
It’s not that like I don’t believe you!!!
Cause baby just I have been through it!

(svcof 1st verse)
Baby I’m
Nothing like them

Please tell me that you do believe me

I’m trying but I think I’m dying

There dying 
With no Care
They
freely

What was it that you said

I’m questioning your every movement  

It’s not that like I don’t believe you
cause baby jus I have been through it

Yea baby cause i have been through this

these memories start there  pollution 
That’s why I’ve been acting so strange now

Im damaged yeah uh little bent now

don’t tell me relax or calm down

you do know  I got my reasons 

What’s wrong wit me I’m
Never like this

I promise you baby believe me

(svcof 2nd verse)
Baby believe me
I’m sorry for crying
But it’s getting chilly it’s cold and I’m
Shaking that’s why you don’t see me 
I’m hiding cause I need find a safe place so I’m winding up back in your arms
Can you tell that I’m
Lost??!!
(Idk)
 but I’m not!!!!! and I found you there waiting for me
I forgot that Um love is a thing and I want it but it keeps on treating bad so I leave it 
But you keep on giving me reasons 
To Take It

Treating me like
I’m
A king ok damn!!
This feels good    do I deserve it?

Im happy you love me
I’m trying
 I’m learning 

I know that your proud of me,
proud of you to

I’m telling you everything thats in you

I wanna deal With. Im Showing you clues
Your eyes speak to me like nobody else do

Believe me (prod.Soloft)

5/02/22 I was 18 when I made this 
(Intro)
and I’m falling once again
I’m so cold
Oh I don’t know where I’ve been

(First Verse)
I don’t 
Wanna look in your eyes again
It sends me to the unknown! 
Now I know where you’ve been
And I’m there and it’s so cold !
But won’t you look in my eyes again
Your glare keeps me alive

Inside I know I've died. 
Knowing that your not by my side 

(Background lyrics)
I'm so cold x3
Give me back my soul

I'm so cold x3
You found me ! WHERE’D YOU GO

I know you know x3

We fall once again 
But we have each others soul

WHERE DID YOU GO

(second verse )
and I don’t Wanna fall again

I’m so cold
Now I know where you’ve been
And I’m sorry 
I’ve been there before 

We love but we falter again

I know I’m so broken
don’t try to save what can’t be saved 
We love in stress
where perfect 
We did you go

It’s not our fault 
We all drift away in the cold
But with me you’ll never know 

prod. @NXMADIC

cold

2/04/22 I made this, I was 18
And i miss you more 0\_!v!a

(Intro)
It always seems to not go my way
Don’t blame anybody but my self!

(First verse)
 This is not suprising OK
I KNOW, I KNOW BUT I DONT NEED NO HELP!!!
I Don’t need a therapist Cause I don’t wannna hear nobody else opinions ON top of mine

WHATEVER
WHATEVER 
DONT CARE what you gotta  say

It’s just another day
I’ll feel the same way
 I can make 10 Years Pass in 10 days

If I jus sit back and keep thinking  ima change 

But nothing around me is changing  but self
But than again 
Everything around me is changing but me. 
It Such a TRAGEDY 

I don’t really think your  hearing me!!
Oh I’m talking to my self 
Everything was pushed To the side 

I was so alive Your eyes
They speak a million times 
And night and I felt so weak

(Hook)
And other day a tragedy
Another day in agony 

I run away from here 
It’s just another year 
These scenes reappear

I gave it everything with nothing to really give 
am I wrong for doing what’s right 

(Second verse)
Moving on my body shouting out 
crying for help ,Showing so many signs but do nothing bout it now 
Well

Look how I’m treating my self
Not surprising 
I get up
Now I’m sick
Throw Up
Than I walk it off
Ughh

I don’t know what you mean
When you say That I’m fine 
Your not listening 
I’m telling you how I feel 

You don’t know anything 
You don’t know anymore 

But I appreciate your love and support 

I just wanna feel whole again 

But everytime I look in your eyes i realize I’m alive but now your not by my side 

Another day a tragedy
Another day in agony 
I run, Sleep, In my bed

Thinking am I really dead?!

Don’t feel alive oh well
I gotta get up from this 
 Before I lay down
Before I  get up 
before I wake up
I’m wishing good luck 

I need to see the same
But it’s not part of my life 

I got to change but me you know,
I Stay on the same lane 
I gotta go

But I don’t know 
If I take these short cuts 
It’s only gonna lead to dead ends
Like my friends I said there lost in the wind 

Are your listening
I say the same thing repeat it twice 
So you can hear it
You might just feel it 
I Got to go
But I don’t wanna say now

I hate goodbyes 
I think everybody relates now 
But you don’t know and it’s ok

Another day a tragedy 
Another day in agony
I run away!

it’s just another day
Don’t be afraid 
I gave it all I could

i love you

0\_!v!a 5/17/22 I was 18 when I made this 
(intro)    
Staring at the ground 
please lift my head and stare right to my eyes
my eyes....

(first verse) 
I walked a thousand miles

I’ll walk a thousand more 

a curse that you bought upon me 
To Scourge what’s broken once more 

as I walk through this clutter of grief

I’ll shamble for what I adore 

Your tsunami of love is deceiving this fate

Shall take me away i am worn 

AND ILL CALL
THE SCREAMING IS NOT LOUD Enough

Wont you show
Your righteousness i'm giving up

i don't wanna fall 
i'm staring at the ground

lift my head high cause i am so lost 

and stare right to my soul now

Shamble

4/19/22 I was 18 when I made this 
“Warning signs”
(Prod. Nekogod)
Counting down the days 
I act like I’m alright. 
You can tell that I’m lying looking in my eyes 

Talking to my self
These feelings won’t evade 
there taking up space packed inside my mind 

Counting down my days 
i don’t wanna die 
You can tell that I’m trying as you start to cry

You tell me that I’m fine
I know I’m not alright
there’s something inside me giving warning signs 

“Verse”

It’s ok I’ve been hiding
For some reason I always fall back

I promsie you I’m never lying

Only when my bones hurt bad

Baby don’t you be sad

I’m trying that’s all that matters
Despite that
You like that 
Your like me 
We talk bad
We fight back
Ion like that 
Swear it don’t gotta be like that

Calm down we can all relax 
Staring in your eyes I already understand 
Yuhhh

Swear I don’t like these feelings but it comes so naturally

Smallest things can make me so upset that’s not a life to lead 

All I need will never be 
So I just sit here as I weep 

I’m ok
But you rather talk and go ya way 

I’m telling you moments they happen for reasons
but you rather walk and just treason my feelings 

I’m reaching  for air cause I’m drowning my  fate 

that’s 
What I get
For looking In Deep end 


I KNOW YOU DONT KNOW 

You don’t have to worry see 

I’ll be here another day just

Waiting for Moment that’ll never show it’s face

Just to give up and float away  

all because I Ignored the warning signs.
waiting for u but now I’ll will decay

Warning Signs

4/21/22 I was 18 when I made this

(Christian Fletes)
I walked some roads
I seen what no one should see!

I seen some scenes that will never seem to leave 

And the place (home) that I once called so safe…..turned to gray…. Colors start to faint this space 

As my grave…. A cradle soon to put below the dirt,… from birth it’s bound to happen in the earth 

My life is one of a kind,
So look me in the eyes and start saying your last goodbyes  

I don’t wanna go not yet 
but everyday I wake up it’s all in my head now 
It’s all I think about 
I need to open my mouth. I need to say what I need but feel like as if I’m to far behind my own story…. That I’ll never catch up ,,

It’s too late there’s only one end. I can’t pretend….. like all these scenes and all these ROADS meant nothing… it was something to me

Roads

6/10/22 I was 18 when this was made thank you all
(prod. MAJZKLUANI)
(Intro)
I’m scaring myself
When i speak
Every time, I listen to me closely
I listen to myself in these songs I become weak!
It’s hard to believe that one can think like this.  
I’m in disbelief 
i need some help
 I need some friends .
I don’t think I could fall more than I have,
so I grab 
the closest thing
To feel safe 
“Please don’t collapse” 
(Uh)

(First Verse)
I’m scaring my self When i speak
Every time, I listen to me closely!
I listen to myself in these songs I become weak!
It’s hard to believe that one can think like this.  
I’m in disbelief 
i need some help
 I need some friends.
I don’t think I could fall more than I have,
so I grab 
the closest thing
To feel safe 
“Please don’t collapse” 

Feeling nothing hurts worse 
than feeling something
That nothing turns to something that will change what you want in….Life it’s every night I fight like an addict to feel alright
(I don’t know why I gotta feel like this)

(Second verse)
I’m pushing my self in the unknown I’m falling 
I hit the bottom now I’m crawling 
recalling 
The past that I put on my knowledge 
The suffer in pain Got me learning
Now calling For “help”
Steady yelling in this dark well
Get me out of hell
Promise I will never fail 
Thinking to myself 
“what if I never get help”
Than I’m falling deeper in a well 
That gets me to rebel 

The boy That is lost in the dark in abyss 
Has arisen 
He came to give all he can fit 
In the moments
But knows
its never it!
Crying and sighing 
But never throw fits 
I’m Moving in
motions
Emotions
They potent
They Telling a story
No words, 
they be quoting
The fear in our eyes 
There’s beauty in pain
Suffer and suffer all through the rain 
(Aye)

(hook)
I’m scaring myself When i speak
Every time, I listen to me closely
I listen to myself in this songs I become weak!
It’s hard to believe that one can think like this.  
I’m in disbelief 
i need some help
 I need some friends .
I don’t think I could fall more than I have,
so I grab 
the closest thing
To feel safe 
“Please don’t collapse” 

(Outro)
Feeling nothing, hurts Worse than feeling something
That “nothing” it turns into something
That would change what you want in life!
It’s every night

since elementary school, I’ve seen you around.
 this person with green eyes like mine curly hair that was beautiful but then one day she was nowhere to be found. 
This about like 1st and 2nd grade and you always sat a row infront of me. I always had a crush on you but I thought you never knew me.
I felt like I knew way to much at a young age and I did. 
I knew what my feelings were and my mind felt like I was not a kid.
I remember seeing you as kids at parties around 6 or 8years old for some reason your eyes were locked in my soul,   
Years go by as we are teenagers and I was 15 when  I had a random thought of a girl I kept seeing in my dreams, green eye’s curly hair! 
Who can this be but I remember your name and always thought how or what happened to you and prayed about this person that I remember so vividly.  
I remember asking god about you when I was in a hospital when I was very sick and at that point of time like I said we grew up and I haven’t seen you in like 8 years .
Than out of know where u came into my life again cause I randomly added a person that had your name (lesly) on Snapchat but didn’t think nothing of it while I was in the hospital 
and than it was you, what are the odds 
We talked and I was in shock……  you said you always knew of me and seen me a lot but never ever talked and than we both found out we go to  same high school all along 
but I was always hiding and never in the halls,   we dated and hanged out in-front of the elementary school we went to talking about are past and how we viewed the world and we were so similar. My first love and I was so clingy cause I didn’t wanna mess up you that I called my (world)  since you went away and left I felt lost in this world I was in. Cause your all I knew and loved your world was better than mine oh I miss it but besides that after we caught up……
We met …..and since than my life has never been the Same !  I’m here now 19 years old almost 20 and I haven’t seen your face.   A lot has happened and ion even wanna talk about it. i know the devil and god was real and the devil had my in chains trust me cause I knew and I knew there is something more than laying there giving up in this world and Jesus saved me from my self and this hell when I tried it all   Jesus saved me and I can’t stress that enough more! He is the way, the truth, and life cause I know how it is to suffer but imagine what he went through for me… for us 
we are human and these feelings are always there but 
I learned to let go of you long ago but still have thoughts about it.! how r u doing ? will you ever see this.

mind in repeat pt.2 READ description!!!! ( how are you doing, do you still even know my name?)

Grab my face again and hold it high 
Cause I’m staring at the ground thinking am I alive 

Staring into your soul as we start to cry. Why did we split 
I’ll put all my problems right to 
The side


I fall I fall 
so deep in the dark
I dont know who to call

I’m all alone 
I cry I cry 
I call for help

I don’t know but oh well

It’s just another day

Look into my face 

Loving in stress cause 
we worried so much

I can look at you across the room and feel your touch
Than we split, wasn’t unanimous 
I couldn’t handle this separation 
and we both agree 

something that’s in us 
Needs each other!
I know where not finished 
We both agree 

before it’s the end of, our life’s 

I’ll love to see you again our eyes
(They talk to us)

Hold my head high
I want my blood to rush 
As I stare in your eyes 
It reminds me of the sky 

Lately I’ve been looking 
Up at the stars 
like your eyes between us I feel that there’s something there
Cause i…

Be in the dark 
And I cannot just leave you alone in your room in your “home” cause I know how it is
When you think about life 
Almost every single night 

That’s when it starts 
And I Wanna reassure you 
From the start 
I promise everything is gonna make sense in the end 

I’m telling you now
When your alone 
It’s ok to call home!
.

your eyes

(Intro)
It is not fair I know but i.. I have to go
I’m letting you know …..
Just please don’t make this cold
And I’ve been so lost than more than I 
Should have been….
BUT your forgiven 
I know….ughh

(FOCVS:Verse)
Every time I’d come around 
I was staring at the ground 
But you  held my head high 
and Stared in my eyes 
You looked in my eyes 
Your crying for me so I….
Whipped your tears away
And i would kiss your forehead and 
Said I’m here to stay 

But of course I walked away 
I was scared and do not blame you
Cause I was lost before you met me 
I was drowning and now I’m saved 
I was lost before I knew how far I was 
digging my grave, but that’s old 

But 
I’m letting you know
“IM SORRY”
I couldn’t even say I love you 
TO GOOD TO BE TRUE 
(Ughhhhh)
Green eyes, 
perfect hair , 
perfectly aware 
And were loving in stress 
where a perfect match 

I know you gotta heart 
I can just stare in your eyes and just know when your falling apart 

I just want to make everything brand new 
I haven’t met nobody else since you… 
You don’t know what I’m talking about right now But it’ll make sense in the end 
I just know one of us gonna be in the dirt 
In this earth
I don’t  know , when…

So..
I just remember them days when I 
Stared in your eyes and 
I seen a place 
And my heart would. Race…
Waiting every second for days 
Where did you go? But HEY,

I’ll put that all aside 
And I see your eyes 
And I know there’s a heart 
But you harden your heart so much 
So you don’t even trust your self 

And it’s ok 
you feel guilty 
Cause the Holy Spirit
Is talking to you 
But you don’t know but hey…

Maybe you’ll see in the end 
Maybe you’ll see what I’m talking about 
Maybe you’ll see why I’m here today !!!!!!!!

I don’t know but i just know nobody will fill that place that you filled in my heart 

But again JESUS SAVED ME FROM THE DARK
And I know

im sorry (Demo)

1 year ago today this song was made

(Intro)
I'm scaring myself
When i speak
Every time, I listen to me closely
I listen to myself in these songs I become weak!
It's hard to believe that one can think like this.
I'm in disbelief i need some help
I need some friends.
I don't think I could fall more than I have, so I grab the closest thing
To feel safe
"Please don't collapse"
(Uh)
(First Verse)
I'm scaring my self When i speak Every time, I listen to me closely!
[listen to myself in these songs I become weak!
It's hard to believe that one can think like this.
I'm in disbelief i need some help
I need some friends.
I don't think I could fall more than I have, so I grab the closely thing
To feel safe
"Please don't collapse"
Feeling nothing hurts worse than feeling something
That nothing turns to something that will change what you want in.
... Life it's every night | fight like an addict to
feel alright
(I don't know why I gotta feel like this)

(Second verse)
I’m pushing my self in the unknown I’m falling 
I hit the bottom now I’m crawling 
recalling 
The past that I put on my knowledge 
The suffer in pain Got me learning
Now calling For “help”
Steady yelling in this dark well
Get me out of hell
Promise I will never fail 
Thinking to myself 
“what if I never get help”
Than I’m falling deeper in a well 
That gets me to rebel 

The boy That is lost in the dark in abyss 
Has arisen 
He came to give all he can fit 
In the moments I have 
But know 
that’s its never it!
Crying and sighing 
But never throw fits 
I’m Moving in
motions
Emotions
They potent
They Telling a story
No words, 
they be quoting
The fear in our eyes 
There’s beauty in pain
Suffer and suffer all through the rain 
(Aye)

(hook)
I’m scaring myself When i speak
Every time, I listen to me closely
I listen to myself in this songs I become weak!
It’s hard to believe that one can think like this.  
I’m in disbelief 
i need some help
 I need some friends .
I don’t think I could fall more than I have,
so I grab 
the closely thing
To feel safe 
“Please don’t collapse” 

(Outro)
Feeling nothing, hurts Worse than feeling something
That “nothing” it turns into something
That would change what you want in life!
It’s every night

wtf (prod. MAJZKLUANI) (remix: svcof)

(Lyrics)

I woke up one day didn’t feel the same anymore
Usually I can handle everything as a whole, handle what’s inside my brain. 
But lately I’ve been feeling like I can’t handle a thang
And the enemy is tryna be the end of me… even if it’s through me, I WILL NEVER LET THAT BE , ima seek the kingdom of God..all things will be added to me !

(First verse: FOCVS) 
I don’t know why I’ve been searching when I knew that I had a longing deep inside only you can satisfy
Oh I am thirsting for some more 
I’m seeking I open up that door 

Jesus come into my life 
your my forever more 

But I’m falling I relapse 
Like a dog that goes back to its vomit why is that 
(Idk)
But I will keep on seeking yeah ima keep on praying . On my knees saying “Jesus please guide me”

(Hook)
I woke up one day didn’t feel the same anymore
Usually I can handle everything as a whole, handle what’s inside my brain. 
But lately I’ve been feeling like I can’t handle a thang
And the enemy is tryna be the end of me… even if it’s through me, I WILL NEVER LET THAT BE , ima seek the kingdom of God..all things will be added to me !

(Second verse: FOCVS)
I feel free
I feel fine 
But I know the 
Great deceiver 
Is right there prowling like a roaring lion
I ain’t lying when I say he’s testing my patience 
But ima keep on standing firm I’ll win the crown of life, repenting every night !

One day

Lets walk around 
And talk about it 
Bring your problems here

By the lake feel most alive
It is safer there 

Dont worry 
Im all ears 
Baby wipe your tears

Only so much i can take
Relax im breathing “feel”

Were awake
There still sleep
Its not our problem dear

We can plant seeds and pray that the will 
make it near

Only God paves the way 
Were both fighting through the waves
Take his hand he’ll lead the way 
I follow and chear. 

Lets be glad we’re saved
Theres a price we must pay 
But its worth it till the grave 
Ill say wit confidence in prayer
That’ll will make soon or later
it is scary but gets better

Tell me what you wanna say 
I wont even say a word 
Just listen to you all day

i know that youre thinking bout me at this moment but im fine
Im here for you
You owe me nothing 
baby take your time i saear 

I know that at the end of the day 
I know we will be ok

Feel (Prod.shizukasuka)

(Prod.Nxmadic) 

How will I know
To give you a call
Or do I just keeping on ignoring your face?

It is so hard to do this 
alone
in my room 
Stuck in confusion but hey!

I just need to know.
What is it-going on
With us ?
see I’ve been
Lonely but cause you left me
But if you just tell me what it is going on maybe I could probably see

That way
I think of you 
Like every- day
And
I know you do to
But Hey
I’m here 
Right now 
So call me
Talk
I promise I’d forgive you 
(I promise I’ll be with you)

Yea it’s been so long 
lately 
I’ve been thinking bout my self from the past
I’m not my self I’m reborn again
But at last I found peace 
But lately I’ve been thinking bout time…..

Do I have the time to waste and sit for you again my dear 
But you know that
I keep you around 
In my heart and my mind
See yearly I’ve been letting myself go for what?
I don’t wanna fall in this whole so I get up now 
Jesus saved me from my self 
no body else !! SO HOW WOULD YOU KNOW …………..
Bout my life when everyday I would scream in this deep hole
 it was cold 
I didn’t save my self 
Like I said …..
so I Wanna reassure you before you give up ….
When you feel like it’s the end of your days 
CALL OUT,
SCREAM TO THE SKY !
ASK GOD WHY! 
I PROMISE YOU EVERYTHING WILL BE REPLACED!
How will I know
to give you a call
Or do I just keep on ignoring your face? 
Through these times I found my self
It’s not that I cared less I promise but hey! 
I just want you to know 
Something and someone’s there’s that loves you to
How will I talk to you ? Let me know right now !

12/23/22

Dear, Olivia….

It’s been so long, and I know it’ll be more 
and ever since I opened up that door…
 your eyes remind me of the street lights 
 in the night and I see your face 

And I cannot seem to forget your eyes
and Olivia  “I love you”, 
and I think of you always.
my heart and my mind feels like
we think at the same time at night 

And at night when Im in my bed, I feel our body sending signs is this in my head ? 
As I’m in my mind….. I just feel like when we think of each other….. we think at the same time

You ever wonder ? I do.
I’m trying again !
We can leave for years and reconnect again! 
I want you right now …. But I don’t know what you want
Everywhere I go our souls always bump 

From, Christian

Olivia (2022)

Prod.  neverforever FOCVS - tell me (Official Lyrics)
(1st verse)
tell me something right now baby I need to know
It’s been so long and honestly I’m really bouta go…but I don’t want to 
I’m holding on to anything now
My hands are sore, im bout to fall and taste the ground

Yea you do this to me…. 
But I do it to myself and baby it’s not hard to see

When you look at me I want you to see the pain I have, but all I ever want is to make you feel happy not sad,
I know I…. Be trippin sometimes but I have my reasons 
Maybe if you’ll talk to me I wouldn’t be like this 
your teasing

I know you don’t know how I feel inside, but maybe if I make you cry you’ll feel everything I’m hiding.

I know you don’t know why I’ve been acting this way
Or maybe you can tell and you try to push it away,
But I don’t know why you continue to play
But honestly I love these games, ugh
(Why do I continue to play 
Ugh I love these games, yea)

(2nd verse)
If you can to won’t you give it back to me,
I will give you everything times two you will see
But you don’t want it 
cause your broken I see
BUT I MISS THOSE TIMES WHEN YOUR TALKING TO ME I…

Cannot believe it’s been so long I’m still holding on,
And I don’t know why you don’t push me away, what do you want?
Can you decide I just want to feel alive again 

Oh I know I gotta get on my knees and start to repent

I went ahead of God look at where I’m at right now 

I’m falling to the ground and the dark starts to surround 
But I know one thing ima get out of here today!

cause I know Jesus he paved the way!

Ugh yea ugh

Tell me (confused)

LYRICS 
FOCVS - thinking 

(1st verse)
I run disappear like a ghost 
Im not boasting bout that baby i made a choice, i chose… my road
So long but narrow to my lord , 
Jesus gives me strength 
Every single day when i fall in my bed thinking he far away , thats a lie from the enemy .
Than i start 
thinking about giving up 
At that moment but never tho 
I be moving but slower now cause im always ina rush 

Looking around breathing hard 
I be Thinking im dying but 
The body is cause sin 
 it starts from the heart
From it comes forth 
Wickedness 
So deceitful..
Cant trust it
Lord please cleanse me from within 
I took comtrol, sin defiled me

ugh
Sin defiled me
And i scream and i cry everynight
And i ask for repentance, Lord why… do i do what i dont wanna do i know its cause of sin?!?

But i pray for i know greater is he within

(2ndverse)

Thinking about everytime i been going ahead of you Lord 
I dont know why i keep opening all these doors knowing i will never see
I dont know why i keep thinking about this 

I need to think bout salvation i kmow eternity is on the line 

I be saying “ im fine”
Bit when i look in the mirror 
I see a person , so dim 
The light is not bright like before 

Lord I hear you knocking open that door!!!!
I FEEL LIKE I CANT 
BUT I KNOW I PRAY FOR THAT LITTLE STRENGTH TO DO SO

im crawling on the floor 
Grab the knob
And i let you in i know ,
That its gonna be ok 
i can’t see it right now 

No matter how long 
This season is im gonna give everything i got 
Until i drop

When i fall , i rise again cause greater is he within me, yea

prod. dr9ven

Thinking (freestyle) (prod. dr9ven)

Lyrics:
You see it in my eyes,
Before I let my feelings die please hurry up tonight.
I’m catching a cold
From waiting at the same spot where you left me rotting oh…

I know what you may not know,
I’ll leave it all behind to get what’s left
*Pack up and go*
Oh

I gotta go right now it’s not my fault it’s the world we’ve been through but….
How can I make you believe something that you always seem to lose?

I can’t make you choose but I’m telling you if I lost so much already why would I lose you?
Cause I know how it is when you have no clue 
And your trying to forget !

I know, it’s getting cold
You better save your self before you lose your soul!
(Oh)
It’s not good for you to put your self down…You know I knew…(it’s not my fault)

You see it in my eyes,
Before I let my feelings die please hurry up tonight.
I’m catching a cold
From waiting at the same spot where you left me rotting oh…no

I gotta go right now it’s not your fault it’s the world we’ve been through but….
How can I make you believe something that you always seem to lose?

I can’t make you choose but I’m telling you if I lost so much already why would I lose you?
Cause I know how it is when you have no clue 
And your trying to forget !

I know, it’s getting cold
You better save your self before you lose your soul!
It’s not good for you to put your self down…You know I knew……

My eyes

FOCVS - Liminal space (Prod By Lil T-Shirt)

(LYRICS)

Oh
Oh 
I love you 
I’ll pray for you

why you wont talk to me
I deleted everything 
To see if you would reach out
But there’s no trace 
in this liminal space 

Wish you could talk to me 
the way I want you to
Oh I know I can’t force you,
Oh your so complicated 

Giving me mixed signals,
What would you do
If you were in my shoes?
But I can’t blame you
I can’t fix your soul, 
It’s only the Lord.
Wont you come back home?

I deleted everything 
To see if you would reach out
But there’s no trace 
in this liminal space 
But there’s no trace 
in this liminal space 
 
Wish you could talk to me
The way I want you to
I know I can’t force you 

Oh
Oh 
I love you 
I’ll pray for you

Liminal Space

this is more then flesh and blood, Jesus help me let go of whats holding me back (JOHN 8:32)
Preacher : Billy Graham 

(Prod. stilldimes) Lyrics:

Tell me where you at ill see you soon,
Im a man of my word until you break the rules 

Sorry to be rude but what am im supposed to do?
you want me but than later your with who?

Ion Wanna waste my time
Why you think that we cool?

But i don’t blame you 
Honeslty im playing your game
Not much i can say 
As i start replay

The memories wont load oh great 
What a wicked game
I play

Wicked Game (prod.stilldimes)

LYRICS:
Lately i cannot go to bed without thinking im gonna die 
Lord i dont no why i went this far 
my soul in need of your fire
To desire the most high
Jesus bring me back to life
Like Lazarus 
Ive been sleep for so long 
im so tired

This is the result of going ahead of you 
Take me out this mire
feeling like the sqounk of this town
Oh im always down 
filled with sorrow 
I start to burrow 
Oh i pray that you call my name 
im so hollow

And throughout the day
Suprised that i still have this strenght in me i know
That your there for me
But im stranded in this desert so thirsty for you lord


Jesus I pray you help me through this valley.

Lately (freestyle) (prod. nitrron)

Lyrics:

I cant get those times back
So much i wanna say
But atleast it was spent with you and those day’s
Do you ever think about me still ?
what do you say?

Cause i wouldn’t trade those moments with you anyway
i wish 
It couldve turned out 
So beautiful as rose..
..It blooms but than your fruits shows
So much i can expose

But i really dont blame you 
Its just how it goes
When “the world is yours”
But your lost in it froze

Can you call my phone?
Are you home?

How you say you love me knowing your with someone 
I dont wanan be your settlement
When your done 
But isnt that what i want in the end
“Love”
I know that youll never meet someone
That will treat you yhe way the do 
When its all done youll come running back to who?

Rose (prod domesticsoul)

FOCVS - draft 001 (prod. secre x heyrick)
A nonprofit song

Lyrics:
Lemme get this off my chest 
I cant breathe as it is , its gonna take a second
Ion even want no sex
Im here 
Through your mess
Look at my stress
Why would i lie When i say 
I love you 
I’ll do anything to stay 

I cannot force you but wait
Just think about it when i say 
dont go away
We depart our souls gravitate
I cant see a life without you and me
i’ll suffer with you , through all the season
I’ll risk drowning to see you breathe 
I’ll help you up
My love for you will not let me move on
Ion wanna see your self getting lost
Getting tossed around all washed up 
HOLD ON

Oh your temple looks distraught 
I can’t imagine the things that you saw
Wont even try to relate or talk 

theres only so much i can say 
I have open ears if you delay 
I’ll be there holding you while you
shake !
I promise baby ive been there
so hey,
Breathe with me 

Just breathe and stare at me 
I’ll hold you see and try to keep you warm through the cold

draft 001

FOCVS - Alone (prod. Drxwski)
A nonprofit track 

Lyrics:
A simple “hello”
Can be a simple goodbye (X)
im not a simple guy
Im scared to make friends
 Lord i dont know why

Maybe your saving me from something 
Maybe so
I feel the enemy plotting again

Oh keep me safe!
Dwelling in the secret place,
I repent !

Oh,
The way they ghost me its like they are dead.
Grieving over losses i cant get back 
Ugh i dont know were to go anymore.
Where im at?

Walking through the valley of the shadows of death 
But i dont got my lamp!
Where im at?!
Why do i do that !
Oh I pray, i rebuke them in Jesus name,
Lord I pray that you’ll me out this cave 
X2

Alone (prod. Drxwski)

Jonah 2:2-7 
LYRICS:
(Hook)
I been tryna let it go
Just help me out my Lord
I need you right now
Oh I’m so tired God

(1st verse)
Why would you ever tell me that you love me?
Now I’m fighting for myself like it’s custody 
Lord I pray you keep my soul safe 
Till eternity 
cause the enemy is tryna take away my spirit being
Sanctify me 
Oh I’m willing
This is killing me
I keep doing what I don’t want to 
I know it’s  sin in me
Wash me with your blood
Can you clothe me
But I love it when it’s cold 
Until summer see
I’m sick again 
I know that I’m Lukewarm

X2

(Hook)
I been tryna let it go
Just help me out my Lord
I need you right now
Oh I’m so tired God

Lukewarm (prod. Rouftop)

Im Sorry

Im Sorry ( slowed + reverb )

(First verse)
it’s been a couple of years 
I still feel sick. 
I’m not lying when I say that 
“I feel like I’m dying my organs is  shutting down inside ?!”
maybe cause I put myself in situations to feel like I have died?!
I’ve learned so much, learning in the suffer of pain

 it’s not a game when I say 
“I don’t wanna feel this way”
 but if all I want is peace, why am I pushing God away?

They tryna save what can’t be saved!?I’m tryna see a better day 
The devil saying “Hey, it’s OK to be comfortable in your sorrow and your pain”
but I cannot fathom this game telling God to
 “SAVE ME, I wanna walk, I wanna put the foot in!”

I’m looking up to the sky. I’m thinking to myself “WHY? why im right here, why was i there, why can I forgive but can’t forget, why do I feel the same from couple years ago ? Why is time moving so slow but moving so fast the memories fading they never last

(Hook)
Time and time again it never seems to end no no
I fall and call to vent they never understand me 
Nox3 

(Second verse)
Yeah I know I’m so tired
Cause I feel like I talked about everything I can possible say 
and now it’s just  another day to do what I always do
I feel like I did everything so what can be new?
And I know what you might not know

 I don’t Wanna talk it makes me sad what you don’t know 
but I don’t know anymore 
*I walk out the door*
I don’t wanna open new doors everything is like wars

Constantly thinking 
I’m constantly starting to feel like I’m dizzy
 I’m never not talking I need to say something,
All this knowledge in my head is like a blessing or a curse
And I don’t really know what’s worse,
Put in a hearse or be thrown in the dirt ugh
I’m thinking bout the afterlife.. who will I see first ugh who will I see first oh

(Hook)
I fall and call to vent they never understand me 
Nox3

distress (Testimony pt.1)

Demo from 3/02/21
Lyrics:

.Just let me know (tonight)
Cause if you tell me than maybe ill go (i might)

Why do you keep me waiting all the time 
You know i hate it
Ive been loving this pain 
cause its the only thing you gave 

Long lost 
Time froze  
People run away 

Ive been there to stay
But you lied to my face 
Talking bout you would stay 

But look at who did remain 
Me in this timless phaze 

I would wait a life time if one had the patience 

Patiently waiting but i know i cannot take this 
..
Will be wrong for leaving when theres nothing to  hold on. Ohhhh 


look at my eyes tell me what do you see 

Tell me if you know that i know…you were are lying see, my eyes are telling you
That you deserve me but my soul it cries when i realize im wrong

Now im falling down
Nobody to help me now but you

Jesus save me from this well im cold
So cold
Just let me know right now 
Cause i am calling out to you
Where do you go when im not around?

Tonight (DEMO)

Made in 4/30/20 I was 16 

“All I do is breath “

[Chorus]

All life has death 
why don’t they worry 
why not be happy


[Verse 1]
I wish I can help 
I wish I can help 

I can’t help my self 
This is like hell

Having these dreams
thoughts in the trees 

flow from the breeze
Like all these leaves,
Falling in pieces  
Falling in pieces 

Where is the peace 
And 

Brain is still leaking
(That)
Pain 

Pain Pain 
go away
 please come back another day

Quitting all these games 
(Like always)

But start to replay.

Water is my safe place 
Sun against my face great 

Life in repeat 
can’t wait

accepting the fact 
And I’m here to stay ah


[Verse 2]

Sitting here thinking bout this life
Sitting here thinking bout everything
 I might
Or could’ve done

All I ever do is run
I just wanna reach to the sun

I feel the sun against my skin

I hope this is life I guess I win 

Patients
Patients what I have 

feeling like I cannot Do this anymore I’m sad

Why does everybody act the same 

I MEAN y’all know the story I say the same thing ! 

Look
I just wanna get a life

I feel like I need a partner in life 

You don’t understand the pain
You don’t understand the pain

You already the deal?
What’s the deal In Life 

Life slowly fading away 

 We’re all gonna end up in the same way

6ft underground 
I’ll wait 
I’ll wait

All i do is breathe

views or none, it’s a diary soon to be found 




Producer tag (prod. svcof)

YouTube: FOCVS
https://youtube.com/@focvs-music?si=shxXW4PlSDVAMcrH

Email,

cfletes64@gmail.com

FOCVS

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