d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e d e a d or a l I v e 

confidence doesn't come easy anymore

I can't ask for you to forgive me. I cant ask for you to come back into my arms. but all I can think about is your hands in mine and your smile. i killed us. you were perfect and i was the boy who didn't know what he had. you are my soulmate. but i took advantage of a girl who already had her own troubles. our demons played together but in the end mine were too much for me to handle. ill never forget our day trips to bethel and our walks around boston. ill never forget the look on your face when we went to see your favorite band. i would give you the world to have you back. but i already gave it to you and now i have nothing for you. besides my lies and secrets. i never meant to hurt you. and now i don't have the one thing that was keeping my feet on the ground. if i could go back and fix everything i would. and i would treat you like the princess you are. you deserve someone who will always be there for you. and laugh at your silly jokes. and hold you when you are sad. you need someone who wont lie and try to hide his mistakes and act like it was nothing. but i cant imagine you with anyone else. the thought of someone holding you and kissing you makes my heart hurt and my stomach sink. you were my everything. and now i mean nothing to you. you wont remember all the good memories. like our snowy walks through the hills. and all the photos we took. and the songs we sung together in the car. you wont remember me holding you in my arms when we napped or cuddling up to you when the scary part of the movie came on. you will just remember the lying boyfriend that couldn't keep the love of his life. the cheater who couldn't fix his mistakes after more chances than anyone should ever give. i would do anything in the world to have you back in my arms. and to be able to tell our kids that i married my high school sweetheart. i cant believe you are gone. i don't know what i will do. but im never giving up. and if you decide you can forgive me. ill be sitting in my room waiting for your footsteps to shake my rook and warm my heart.  i love you so much

saveher

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