swift

https://soundcloud.com/algomusique/mihara-san

ALGO - Mihara - Yama (三原山)

Amor more music

i can't complain, although I'll never leave
you squeeze, and you push, it's getting, so hard to breathe
you frustrated, i know its cause of me
you yell and you scream but i'm not the enemy
i turn you to the mirror, forcin' you to think
the stress, with the rage, and bottled anxiety
two different people, i suffer so quietly
i really tried to treat you, i suffered so silently 

you wear a mask, your insecurity
i wear a mask, to protect my mystique 

you never knew me very well, obsessed with the fairy tales,
the long blonde hair with the beautiful dark stare
you brought me to the dark but the sunlight that's in the air
i know we grew apart but the love that we could've shared
if you had played your part, cause them others, they can't compare
just listen to your heart and the future could be so clear 

uh, i didn't know you
will i get hurt, if i try to approach you?
try to find forever, but, really, it's so few
it's hard to reminisce, but really, what can i do?
i try not to depend, but my feelings, they comin' through
pullin' through the flame, so my heart can get comfortable
i'm tryna switch the frame so my eyes, they can comfort you
a flame that matches mine, we so strong, we burnin' through 

an ocean that resides on the path of the skin
you love to act surprised, but the love lies within 

she talkin' to the surface, meaning without purpose
movin' on to blame, but i know i don't deserve it
you can put the weight of the world on my shoulders
still i will remain, i retain my composure 

never be the same but i got room to heal
my heart is locked off, you got nothin' to steal
just take the night off, cause my silence is real
the hesitation sourced from a place i couldn't feel 

the elevated thoughts that were stranglin' me
far as eyes can see, i would like to breathe 

i might not complain, but my heart full of jealousy
try to go away, but your number keep callin' me
i listened to the shame of the elders who haunted me
the elevated thoughts that were startin' to strangle me
i listened to my heart but it didn't protect my peace
giving you my all, my emotions not for the weak
i took a trip to mars, and the stars, they comfort me
i'm listenin' to saturn as the comets, they come for me 

i'm really deep in, it's affectin' my honesty
a wolf in sheepskin, that was cursed by my company
i see what is not there, you givin' me nightmares
you put me through the most but i'm promise i'm still here

feelcomplete.m4a

I had an emotional week to say the least..
Confused with my purpose in life and questioning whether or not I am on the right path. Questioning if this is what God truly wants of me.
Heartbroken from realizing my own cycles of sin breaks the heart of my creator over and over again.
Tears flooded my face;
I sat alone in darkness.
Reflecting on my life and its failures.
I’ve failed more times than I’ve ever succeeded.
Especially when it comes to love.
Yet with that realization, I learned that I’ve also tried more times than others and will continue to do so.
Eyes welled with tears, I cried out silently, “God, you are calling me to lead, I’m here, what must I do?”
“Grab a pen and your great grandfathers old art book.”
Silently but sternly providing instructions.
I listened.
Yet more questions rose, “what song must I make? What beat is good enough? How can I find the right beat?”
Just as many more came to mind, Gods voice calmed me and suggested that I look instead of sitting paralyzed with my questions.
Deciding that I must really be crazy, and going for it anyways, I found the beat I used for this song.
The beat was titled “This beat has chosen you.”
In prior context my nan and I that same day were talking about the importance of the numbers 12, 22, and 7 in relation to our family and the bible.
When I had found said beat, it had 12k views, and was released 7 days prior.
Seeing it as a sign I downloaded it immediately.
I heard the beautiful sample and how it blended smoothly with the drums, then I started to cry once again briefly…
I had thought to myself, “why am I, a sinner enslaved to his own sin, like the fool in the bible, worthy of this much guidance and love?”
Emotions started to overwhelm me yet no more tears had come..
I took a deep breath;
“Forgive me father for I have sinned, I have let the devil in…”
It was on beat, I immediately understood what had to be done.
I used my pain as a vessel to carry a message that was true to me..
I realized that I’ve been feeling a lot of survivors guilt over the last couple months and had questioned why must I be brought back from death, while my loved ones stay?
I paused, stuck with not knowing what to write, I once again heard the soft yet stern voice of God;
“You must continue forward, they wouldn’t have wanted you to stay stuck mourning their loss, and neither do I, trust that I will take care of you and the rest.”
Overcoming the overwhelming emotions of grief and guilt, this song was made by the strength God has given me..
I do not claim to be perfect, I will most likely sin again either willingly or unwillingly;
Yet I am trying my best to be better everyday, even if it’s 1% at a time.

Sometimes in order to dance we must take two steps backwards..
I pray that this song can help those that need it to help the same way creating it has helped me..
I’d like to thank God, and whoever is listening and whoever has read all the way through to here, and thank God for connecting us together no matter how briefly you stick around.
May God shine light on all of us during our dark times and protect us from evil.
I just wanna go home..
Yet I’m still learning where that is..

I hope this song can help you relate and feel less alone in your struggles.
The least I can be is a voice of my own heart and struggles.
All I ask is for people to listen, relate, and feel.
If God wills it, I will be around for each and everyone of you.

Thank you kindly and God bless 💜🙏💜

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