Chorus:
maybe it's not perfect, maybe that's okay,
I'm tryin learn my lesson, how to love the rain.
Let go of my poison, escape the apathy,
I'm dying, to feel alive today


verse:
Overwhelmed by emotion til everything went numb,
Just went through the motions, Every day felt so long.
Couldn't shake the feeling, I just didn't belong,
No one could miss me, I was already gone.

Day after day, Night after night,
Wondering If I was wasting my time,
Day after day, Night after night,
Getting high to put off my suicide. 

Chorus:
maybe it's not perfect, maybe that's okay,
I'm tryin learn my lesson, how to love the rain.
Let go of my poison, escape the apathy,
I'm dying, to feel alive today

Verse 2:
I'm sober now, been a few years,
I didn't know, I could make it here,
Sometimes I still feel weak, and broken down,
But usually I'm glad I stuck around.

Day after day, Night after night,
It's gotten easier over time,
Day after day, Night after night,
I cherish when I feel alive.

Alive - Annabelle's Dream (prod. by Phillip)

Verse 1:
Gotta live with the pain, so I gave it a purpose,

Scars give me strength, to carry my burdens,

Life taught me lessons, took my time to learn em,

Self inflicted problems, to be honest, I deserved em. 

Said I hated myself, like it was some kind of excuse, 

To not face myself, and just hide from my issues, 

Cuz at that point, I was so scared of the truth, 

From my point of view, I preferred the noose. 

That weakness kept me from being able to see, 

The victim complex and self pity mentality,

The mask to hide how fragile I could be,

I dont blame the drugs, honestly, that's just who I used to be,

And no matter how much I think I changed, 

Nothing can wash off all these stains, 

And it never really fully goes away, 

It still whispers it still lingers inside my brain.

chorus:
I've been searching, I've been searching, 
Trying to define what's my purpose,
I've been working, I've been working,
But I question is it worth it? 
I'm uncertain, that's for certain,
Mind exhausted, bodys hurting,
Keep rehearsing, keep rehearsing
Fine to die, just hope my life was worth it.


Verse 2:
I'm no hero, I'm not a martyr, 

Juss a depressed mess, who happens to be an artist, 

Who overcame nothing more than self inflicted hardships,

So please, dont feed into my narcissism,

I know we all done things, that we wish we didnt

But I've made a lotta decisions that I struggle to live with, 

Need more than self forgiveness, more than just religion, 

And I cant keep blaming my addictions and conditions, 

Yeah I hate who I was, but I create what I'll become, 

When I'm face to face with what I'm scared of, 

In an empty space, where everything goes numb, 

Where the brain mistakes my need for love. 

The ever hungry void, that grew out of my chest, 

That still seeps out of the scars that it left, 

Reminds me why I'd rather feel depressed, 

Than be here again, than feel nothing again

Worthless - Synakill (prod. Slick Ross)

Can a world so cold, hold the gold, I crave for my soul? 

I dont know, I dont know,

So I search this earth, dig through the dirt, blessed or cursed?

I dont know, I dont know, I dont know. 

Am I worth saving? I dont know

Can I make it? I dont know

Am I worth saving?

Time will show.

Time will show. 

Take control, take control,

Take back my soul,

Take control, take control,

Cant break my soul, 


Verse2:

Had to find myself, deep inside this hell, free my mind from my brain's cell, learned to handle pain well, couldnt clean these stains well, they say well, what I cant explain well, used to wanna hit a vein, well, I'm learning to abstain well, working to maintain well, every day I'm afraid, well, either way, I remain well, not falling down that same well. Wont decay n waste away in that same hell.

Overcame the addiction, wasted some time drifting, but now I got a vision, now I'm on a mission, killin what I'm spittin, as I paint this image, of a life worth livin, why I didnt give in, I'm tryin make a difference, never found religion, need redemption within, redemption not forgiveness, can anyone forgive this?  (Forgive this?)

Need redemption with in, redemption not forgiveness,
Redemption not forgiveness
(Can anyone forgive this) 

Need redemption with in,
Redemption not forgiveness,
Can anyone forgive this?
Can anyone forgive this? 


Verse 3:
Misconceptions of love dug cuts in their flesh,

I was young and obsessed with death,

Thinking I was romeo, needing my juliette,

To sing a suicide song, a haunting duet ,

Romanticized my problems, cuz I didnt know how to solve em, brought you to my rock bottom, with lies disguised as promise. Now that I'm being honest, I still havent forgotten, I grew up and I stopped it, wish I could apologize, would you answer if I was calling? We were just kids, true, I still shoulda known better, never shoulda kissed you, expecting your lips to, fix who, I was, your kiss to stitch my cuts. 

Chorus:
Yeah, I got a lotta regrets and depression,
No, I wont ever let em question 
These steps in the right direction
Redemption is where I'm headed.

Regret - Synakill (prod. by Phillip)

Is it a love song? 

Is it a love letter to From First to Last?

It's both.

Emily(Remix) - Synakill (prod. Phillip)

Chorus:

Smoke clouds the room, I'm tripping over you,
I think that you love me, Tell me if you do?
If you don't, that's alright, we can pass time, 
Getting high, But I don't wanna lie, I want you to be mine.

Caught me by surprise, pretty brown eyes, distracted me, from the sunrise, Lost track of time, Early in the night, You were etched in my mind, before we said goodbye, Do it again sometime, if that's alright? I had fun last night, Hope it's not the last time, Now I memorized what your kisses taste like, Your lips on mine, every night, when you say that you love me, I smile everytime, cuz im happy to have u in my life, everythings not perfect, but at least it's worth it, I might never be perfect, but girl you deserve it, So I'mma keep rehearsing, till I sing your songs perfect, I might never be perfect, but girl you deserve it, so i'mma keep rehearsing, till I sing your songs perfect.

v2:
when we first met, iunno if i believed in love, i lied to myself, man its just the drugs, Your kisses got addictive each one is such a rush, she cut me up and licked it, girl ain't scared of blood, Life is wild sometimes, unpredictable, what we got tho, can't just be physical, since you left town, I've been miserable, Finna hit the road, go where the wind'll blow, Knew I had to see you again, Couldn't get you outta my head, Catch myself smiling at every text, Wondering when, I could see you again, So I packed my bags n left, Headed west, So I could see you again.

Synakill

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