huge thank you to anthony for working on this one with me
go show him & his band this wild life some love <3

lyrics
--------
and we live just to die
so i pray i'm alright when i do
i'm shooting stars at the sky
not a crow left in my point of view
in the midst of a fight
throwing jabs till i knock out a tooth
if he pulls out a knife
and gets rid of my life
will the righteous ignite me with truth
(cause)
i will hide somewhere behind the dark that casts into
a room that thrives with blinding lights unwinding onto you
if only for a second i'm infected by the hue
please just promise me your honesty cause honestly i hate all that i do

and it lives deep inside
building homes in the holes of my heart
i've set my sights to the light
but i've been paranoid from the start 
red dot beamed on my forehead
deep breath this'll be a night you won't forget
cold sweat dreams terrorizing my cortex
woke up drowning outside on my porch steps
the waters been rising for years
hypnotizing my peers
into thinking they know me
but i live in fear
that they don't quite appear
to the likeness instilled in the old me
i swallow my tears
wander outside for years
with the hope that a god will come smite me
replenish these gears
cut my body with shears
make sure nobody's near even slightly

blue lights flash in the distance
red light stop i don't listen
projectiles from a piston
couldn't do it by myself need assistance
pink matter painted onto the concrete
think of this gunshot as a downbeat
red dot beamed on my forehead
this'll be a night you won't forget

it lives where i live (prod. anthony del grosso)

𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧<3

𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚣𝚞𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚊.
come around
ik im a fuck up jus a let down
but we could run away my love, from this town<3
gaze inside her eyes been filled w/ hate now
need 2 stay down
really need sum backup
u know ur the only one i want luv
cant fkn take this aching make my chest numb
you the one i want luv

𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚕.
cant even snap back 2 this snapchat
got 80 ounce in this backpack
making lame shit on this old mac
while my friends out in their pontiac
how are you so contagious
holding back on my anguish
'cardi rocks when im anxious
blood n mud on these pages
she dont talk but her eyes flirt
louis v n that black skirt
pulling up in that chrysler
bloody shirt n my chest hurts

𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚣𝚞𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚊. 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚕.
come around
ik im a fuck up jus a let down
but we could run away my love, from this town<3
gaze inside her eyes been filled w/ hate now
need 2 stay down
really need sum backup
u know ur the only one i want luv
cant fkn take this aching make my chest numb
you the one i want luv

ep w/ bry soon also~ if you've read this far then thank you all sm for all of the support this past year, and just in general if you listen to any of my stuff. it genuinely means the whole world. ily all sm<3

let_down w/ residential. (ushanka boy)

lyrics
--------
do not sell yourself short on what you bring
incomparable to those that believe
oh the time has come
to break bones and bleed
out the pores it flows
spread onto the leaves

the road in front of me's
one of recovery
cover the shelves
hide all the cutlery
coloring subtly 
suddenly
i don't feel quite like myself
real slowly
i'll begin twisting and folding
stripping off layers of clothing
just like a spider i'm molting
i do not know where i'm going
remote location withholding
onto the past it's revolting
i think my brain is corroding
shh this levels still loading
frozen now this game's corrupted
i'm on a path toward destruction
this road is closed for construction
sorry that i'm disappointing

the contortionist (prod. anthony del grosso)

lyrics
--------
start stating the obvious
take weight off of the audience
you're blistering and calloused
in your worn out shoes
forge the path you stagger down
in hopes that you'll come back around
it's cold inside these hand me downs
but i'll pull through
start stating the obvious
take weight off of the audience
you're blistering and calloused
in your worn out shoes
forge the path you stagger down
in hopes that you'll come back around
it's cold inside these hand me downs
but i'll pull through

am i dancing on the edge
or is the edge really imaginary
falling short of breath
i'm reading into what's unnecessary
does this mean anything
cause i am unsure
i'm closing my eyes
becoming one with the decor

substance i need something
i've been floating feeling nothing
i'm in search of what's inside me
several people in my body
i don't know them
they've been lying
twisting cables
falsifying
gripping onto what is left
i'm trying hard to just forget
the person that i am waiting for
once everybody's left ignored
am i deranged for feeling torn
i am i
i am i
is it okay to close my eyes
for i'm afraid of what i'll find
tucked under tape that's stuck inside
holding on
holding on

this is not imaginary
i can feel it flow
trickling inside of me
whenever i'm alone
porcelain my face
& ivory beneath the bone
deep beneath my bones
my absence was temporary
please pick up your phone
sorry for the gaps in conversation
i was stoned
certain i was trying
now i'm dying real slow
guess it's time to go

and now the scars that haunt your mind
capture and hold onto your eyes
lock them in place for one last time
here we are
here we are
for when you wake up you will find
all of the things you've left behind
start to configure and allign
i am i
i am i

one with the decor (prod. anthony del grosso)

lyrics
--------
baby don't forget
things aren't always certain
in due time i'll come inside
and hide behind the curtain
lately i forfeit
succumb to the surface
i've got quite the habit
of telling myself i'm worthless

safety harness me into the mainstream
snip on these straps till i'm dangling
over the heads of the people who i put my trust in
trusted you but now even that's busted
adapting quick well adjusted
you make me sick i'm disgusted
functionality is vital when your future spirals
down a path you've been tryna follow
evidently i'll be hollowed out and placed in piles
it's the price that you pay to smile
they don't like it when i'm speaking out
here we go again you done freaking out
yeah this cold ass world got me freezing
i guess i'll keep dreaming now
it's like this huh

baby don't forget
things aren't always certain
in due time i'll come inside
and hide behind the curtain
lately i forfeit
succumb to the surface
i've got quite the habit
of telling myself i'm worthless

do not forget
it's important
things could be much worse
and surely time will sort it
please don't forfeit
it's important
life is beautiful
in time i'm sure you'll learn that
all we know is we're comfortable
at the rate that things are moving we in slow mo mo
take it with a grain of salt cause we still grow grow grow
planting seeds inside this garden
we ain't finish what we started no

baby don't forget
things aren't always certain
in due time i'll come inside
and hide behind the curtain
lately i forfeit
succumb to the surface
i've got quite the habit
of telling myself i'm worthless

forfeit (prod. anthony del grosso)

s/o to deckabeats & alsbeatz for bringing this one to life
& s/o to you for stickin' around! it's guardin szn!

lyrics
--------
clock strikes twelve it's all over after
distant memories of disaster
full eclipse the sky's falling fast
we're all dead by dawn  

i guess the goal is
to set my body back beside my soul
cause i guess really all i wants control
this world is ugly but we paint it gold
i've lost my discretion a decrepit hole
sits inside my body where i tug and pull
and pull and pull
your life code was patched
with a fine tooth comb
all the lights were detached
i guess nobody's home
in your bed lies a match
where the fire was thrown
i don't like where this goes
can you leave me alone
(cause when the)

clock strikes twelve it's all over after
distant memories of disaster
full eclipse the sky's falling fast
we're all dead by dawn  

i don't wanna do this
feeling like i got to
channel what i'm bestowed
pushing on the gas
till i'm drivin real fast
when i crash imma reload

enter the void

distant memories (prod. deckabeats x alsbeatz)

Learnin' to Love

Learnin' To Love (Prod. Pizzle)

Ｉ　ＤＯＮ＇Ｔ　ＴＨＩＮＫ　Ｉ＇Ｍ　ＲＥＡＬ

//私の軌道の悪魔//

i can't thank you guys enough for the endless amount of love & support you've given me since the start. i never thought in a million years we'd be where we're at right now & it's crazy to me that we still continue to grow. it's always been a release for me to let loose on a track & hear what you guys think of it. it's always been for the people & for myself. i love waking up every morning & reading every single comment, every single message, etc. you guys put the biggest fucking smiles on my face & i hope you all know i'm here for you as much as you're here for me. i've struggled with my anxiety & depression for years & to know a lot of you are going through the same things is somewhat comforting. we're in this together. i couldn't do any of this without you guys. we're gonna strive & do great things, i promise. don't let your demons get the best of you. i hope you enjoy this one. i love you

check out the music video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtv87HVgnpo&t=1s

art by chunniboy
be sure to give him lots of love
goo.gl/asxd7w

music video

demons in my orbit

Ｉ＇ＬＬ　ＲＵＮ　ＳＯ　ＦＡＲ　ＦＲＯＭ　
ＴＨＥＳＥ　ＳＨＡＤＯＷＳ

//私の心の断片//

lyrics
-------
i think i'd be better off alone 
without you 
i don't mind when i sleep all alone
without you 

i think i found the antidote
i think i found another road
i think i found some fucking hope
nope
i think i'm tryna find a way
to rid of all these darker days
but my minds trapped inside a maze 

so i'll run so far from these shadows
makeshift but my hearts still fragile
i'd drown but the waters too shallow
my heads still caught in the gallows
your kiss is my remedy
i fall to the ground so desperately
baby i know that you're mad at me
filling all the voids like cavities 

i think i'd be better off alone 
without you 
i don't mind when i sleep all alone
without you 
i think i'd be better off alone 
without you 
i don't mind when i sleep all alone
without you 

i guess this feeling lasts forever
i guess we'll never be together
you're colder than i can remember
but the ice is melting quickly 
i'm still wishing that you'd miss me

but you're gone and i never could replace you
mistraced new face but it ain't you
rebuilding the forts that i made you
no love but my hearts tryna break thru
my chest cause its caving in
i dwell in a cell in a realm of sin
six shots to the face of rum & gin
i'm dead in the head so i guess you win 

i think i'd be better off alone 
without you 
i don't mind when i sleep all alone
without you

solitary

ＴＨＥ　ＶＯＩＣＥＳ　ＩＮ　ＭＹ　ＨＥＡＤ　ＣＯＬＬＩＤＥ

//私は私の心を失った//

i recently purchased a new ukulele after i gave mine away back in november, so i thought it'd only make sense to whip up a fresh uke track for you guys. i hope you enjoy it. 

i love you <3

lyrics
--------
this song brings on the weather
tear drops upon my sweater
i cry in bed whenever
i see you guys together
fuck love it's all a lie
i can't sleep i rather die
than see that look in your eye
it sucks that i'm not your guy

i think you're really cool like
i think you're really cool like
i think you're really cool like
i think you're really cool like

i packed my bags last week
sunrise and i'm on my feet
let's skip town and chase our dreams
cause this place ain't what it seems
come home let's synchronize
my soft lips caress your thighs
you get me so fucking high
the voices in my head collide 

i think you're really cool like
i think you're really cool like
i think you're really cool like
i think you're really cool like

keep your voice down
she don't care no
i can't breathe i've got no air 
no sympathy for my despair
i cut my wrists and grow my hair 
i'm outta my mind

Download

i think you're really cool

make your dreams your reality

△cid c△stle

'if we're being honest' out now!

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All tracks uploaded here are considered WIP until they are released through a distributor.

East Side Undead Underground Collective

静けさ

alt rap
[Ｔｉｍｅｌｅｓｓ]
             20
2-3 songs a month for now
influences: 9tails + sewerperson, shinigami, kevin kazi, guardin, atlas

Popular tracks tagged #guardin