28/30

i know this song seems out of nowhere but it's primarily just a vent tbh and sorry if this is rambly.

i'm in one of those ruts again where i want to be left alone yet fear it
i know that my mind telling me to isolate myself is to be self-destructive but i can't help but desire the concept of just vanishing from existence as a whole and to have never existed.

i can't do that though, it would hurt people and i'm aware. a lot has gone into making me who i am, such as the training that med school has given me so far, or Parable, or my friends and close ones who i love with all my heart. it would all go to waste.

i can't help but feel this pressure of having to be the most energetic and excitable. i feel like i always have to be entertaining and keep people happy, and that i cannot get burned out, yet it's happening, and it's happening fast.

i don't know how to piece my thoughts or get across what i'm trying to say and frankly, this is a complete mental dump here. i'm aware many other people are going through the same thing, but every single day feels like a repeat of itself, and i'm watching people close to me also decline mentally and slowly fall into the rut i'm in, and it crushes me.

seeing once lively and energetic loved ones slowly succumb to the mental torture that we have to endure due to current circumstances globally hurts. i feel useless and helpless. i know it's not my battle and theirs but god i wish i could do something to help. i wish i knew a way to get them out of it and remind them of the good things life holds, yet i can't even tell myself that.

this song is a prelude to the next album im planning on releasing, or selection of songs. "only good for giving" will encompass all of the things i have felt over the last few years and how much it has shaped me, because frankly the last couple years have been hell and have completely changed who i am as an individual, thankfully making me better and more self-aware, but not in an ideal way.

i apologise for this mental dump and just want to reassure that i know i can get through this and that i'm using the help and support available, such as my friends and therapy. i just felt sharing it and telling the story behind this song was something nice to do.

if you are going through anything at all and feel like you're trapped or lost, you have me. although everything i said above sounds incredibly pessimistic, all of these things will end soon, and we'll be working our way towards better futures

nothing special

please leave me alone

download

HerbstLaub (PushSession)

Fonkeyfee (PushSession)

Ableton using default and custom plugins and fx

Not violent

Evan Killius's Album

phrenophobia

lobotomy

bricked in windows

just a bit of somthing i came up with nothing special a nice simple beat backed wth some jumpy synth and other cools features

Good Vibes

Dave and Pat recap Star Wars Celebration 2022 (0:54) and review Tate McRae's debut album 'I Used To Think I Could Fly' (11:05), Norm Macdonald's posthumous Netflix comedy special 'Nothing Special' (19:50), CBS's 'Survivor' Season 42 (28:58), Disney's Star Wars series 'Obi-Wan Kenobi' (39:43), Netflix's 'Stranger Things' Season 4 Part 1 (56:50), HBO's miniseries 'We Own This City' (1:11:56), and Paramount's action film 'Top Gun: Maverick' starring Tom Cruise (1:25:37).

Follow our Best of 2022 Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1X7EEivcMQ6agiJnR0s0Wn?si=e2f1096a912d45fa

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Stranger Things 4, Top Gun: Maverick, Obi-Wan Kenobi, We Own This City, & Norm Macdonald - Ep. 324

Dave and Pat review ITZY's 5th EP 'Checkmate' (1:02), J-Hope's debut album 'Jack in the Box' (6:38), Steve Lacy's 2nd album 'Gemini Rights' (12:17), Black Midi's 3rd album 'Hellfire' (20:44), Lizzo's 4th album 'Special' (32:05), Nathan Fielder's docu-comedy HBO series 'The Rehearsal' (44:31), FX's comedy series 'What We Do in the Shadows' Season 4 (49:17), Marvel's 'Ms. Marvel' Season 1 (56:06), and the anime film 'The Deer King'(1:09:18).

Follow our Best of 2022 Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1X7EEivcMQ6agiJnR0s0Wn?si=e2f1096a912d45fa

Subscribe on YouTube: Youtube.com/NowstalgiaPod

Follow on Twitter: Twitter.com/NowstalgiaPod

Lizzo. Steve Lacy, J-Hope, Black Midi, Ms. Marvel, & What We Do in The Shadows - Ep. 331

flipped lemon d for no reason

music enjoyer i make musics its cools 

i repost beats and other music that's better than mine most of the time

just some random dude makin some ok-ish beats and having fun while doing it :)

(every song at the current moment is made using loops due to the fact I don't have proper recording equipment)

all music on here is free use I just ask that you tag me or let people know I made it

nothing special.
a beautiful, yet hurtful life.

1/2 of @codenameniocell + @ghostkidclub
contact: mgmt@revenantmusic.net

Lots of selfmade, mostly bedroom-produced tracks here, different styles because of different moods and tools....and all free to download....
Remember:  I DON'T WANT TO BUY SC-PLAYS:  I'll block EVERY try and all those trendscout-robots!! If you like my stuff, listen to it, feel it and tell it to your friends, that's enough.....
Every Monday, I go into my cellar-room to find some space for me... these tracks are my kind of relaxing and i will do it till the end of my time...
Hope, you like, what I do....You will find a lot, but no autotune, I swear...
You cannot OWN music, you only can MAKE it.... (something, Neneh Cherry said)... and so I do...
I never learned an instrument, but that's not important: 
I AM an instrument and there's always music inside me....
SC is my diary: The diary of my steps into the world of music since 2012....
if you want to know something about that: you're welcome!
One of my tracks is especially made for you... 
Try the playlists ; )

Nowstalgia is a weekly pop culture podcast hosted by Dave Martinson & Patrick Sheehan. Every week we discuss, review, & debate music, movies, TV, entertainment, & more. Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Follow our Best of 2022 Spotify playlist: 
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1X7EEivcMQ6agiJnR0s0Wn?si=e2f1096a912d45fa

Subscribe on YouTube: Youtube.com/NowstalgiaPod

Follow Nowstalgia on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/NowstalgiaPod

No drugs no alcohol just video games and music, enjoy! if you want music send a comment and i will give it out for free

New tracks tagged #nothing special