Wild Kitty is a close friend. She is so damned cute, but don't try to sweet-talk her. She'll scratch your face, poke your eyes out, and step over your carcass.  She is often found guzzling good craft beer, rocking out and mocking seemingly innocent people.

Wild Kitty

Children of the Ham is an ode to Dio, Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden. Specifically, an ode to their songs Children of the Grave, Children of the Sea and Children of the Damned.  It's sounds serious, but it just as stupid as all my other songs. It's all in the lyrics...

The song is also an ode to classical guitar composer, Matteo Carcassi (1792-1853). Specifically, it quotes his famous Study No. 7 in A minor - the one with all the quasi-tremolo .

All guitar, bass and vocal tracks by cj renzi
Drum Loops by Beta Monkey

Children of The Ham

Here's to the almighty burger! And to the sharks that hunt 'em down where ever they are to be consumed in all their beefy, cheesy, sexy glory. The Burger Shark will swim right over yer carcass to get his fix and he'll have it with a super-sized side of fries, goddammit. Well, he might sniff ya on the way...

Produced, Mixed & Mastered by Brian Lanese
Drums by Joe Palladino
Bass by Orlando Mestre
All Guitars, Vocals & Lyrics by cj renzi

Burger Shark

There Ya Go is flippant swipe at life itself. Dozens of cliches and maxims are used to illustrate the absurdity of being human.  We may as well have a hell of a good time since we'll all bite it sooner or later.  Having said so, There Ya Go may be construed as a celebration then - of NOT giving a shit. Not a single shit...

All guitar, bass and vocal tracks by cj renzi
Drum Loops by Beta Monkey

There Ya Go

Tall Piggy's father says some supremely funny shit. It's never forced - oozes outta him most naturally. And he's an equal opportunity needler. He'll get ya whether your'e mother, child, elder, or family pet. Doesn't much matter to Mean Pops. And to boot, the man is Capital from head to toe. A man with the uncanny and singular ability to insult, deride, and bully and all the while put a smile on one's face while in the act.

All guitars, vocals, bass and lyrics by Tall Piggy (cj renzi)
Drum loops by Beta Monkey

Mean Pops

People are petty. They squabble over meaningless issues and items. They'd rather be RIGHT than make sense. What a world of complete boobs. 

So this tune is about just that. It takes a humorous, light-hearted view of humans and their pathetic little issues. In fact, it mocks them without remorse.

The tune is in A minor, 4/4, 120 BPM. 
It is also, much to his chagrin certainly, based on a Ferdinando Carulli melody, also in A minor. Anyone who has studied classical guitar for more than a few semesters will hear the scantily disguised reference.  

Happy listening!

Meeting Adjourned

07/06/2017

YoHo! is a tip of the cap to all the seafaring peeps through the ages - especially the ones whose stories we are lucky enough to know. Shackleton, Riley, the crew of the Kon Tiki (Thor Hyerdahl and company), and even Captain Hook - are completely bad-ass, wave-slapping mofos. Tall Piggy does not engage in water-type activities outside of showering, however. Scares me half to death...

YoHo!

07/22/2017

Sometimes we feel lucky. Sometimes a pig becomes bacon. Sometimes the Great Koochie Kamba and Chief Oakum are unable to intervene with the Fates to save a good, honest pig. And lastly, sometimes ya get kicked in yer beans right in front of Father Pape. What ya gonna do?

Pigs have always recorded all their own tracks. Tall Piggy persists in this arduous and utterly meaningless tradition.
 
CJ Renzi (AKA Tall Piggy): all guitars, bass, vocals and lyrics 
Zoom Corp: drum loops

Fellin' Number 7

Feelin' Number 7

Bitch Smoker is a real person. He's a bitch and he's smoking every effing time I see him. He has red eyes full of hatred and loathing - mostly for me. We don't know each other, but he knows I'm a dick - for sure. His little dog is adorable, but he'll gnaw yer nuts off too. Don't be fooled. Bitch Smoker knows all, sees all, has it all, although his life went up in smoke. He certainly ain't no joke...

Bitch Smoker

The stupidest quotes from all literature from Tall Piggy's fave reads...

Never Rude Always a Goof

Ma says real funny shit - always has, always will....

Pigs have always recorded all their own tracks. Tall Piggy persists in this arduous and utterly meaningless tradition. 

cj renzi (AKA Tall Piggy): All guitars, vocals, bass, lyrics 
Beta Monkey: Drum Loops

Well, Let Me Tell Ya... BPM = 76 

CHORUS 
----Well, let me tell ya - he's all I got 

----I'll Beat You right Down to the Ground 

----I Know You Better Than You Know Yourself 

-------- Don't ya think? 

----Well, let me tell ya - he's all I got 

----I'll Beat You right Down to the Ground 

----I Know You Better Than You Know Yourself 

------- Don't ya think? 

******************************INSTRUMENTAL BRIDGE*********************************************** 
(actual loud belch) - Why Don't You Just - Puke? -----1st time 

Well - What do you want me to do, tie her to the railroad tracks and kill her? -----2nd time 
************************************************************************************************ 

PRE-VERSE 

You'll find me - hangin' from the rafters 

(Rest) -Why don't I just - die? 

I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this 

(rest)- Oh my god - is your sister alright? (2nd time only) 

VERSE 
She's your sister ooh, ooh 

That's your Father - ooh, ooh 

I'm your mother - ooh, ooh 

REST - ---------------- Ain't ya gonna visit yer grandma?

Well Let Me Tell Ya

Well Let me Tell Ya

As a voice for classic stupidity with a sexy modern vibe, Tall Piggy wallows in a toxic stew of slinky funk metal, lick laden lunacy and soul crushing verse. Tall Piggy’s shred dance grooves can range anywhere from Black Sabbath at a tea party to Alice In Chains with a scoop of ice cream to Rage Against the Machine for the politically unmotivated. Raised in Upstate New York where he enjoyed an inordinate number of school closings, Tall Piggy blossomed under the heavy influence of mini golf and bug spray. With a squirrel on his shoulder and a six pack at his side, Piggy is equally comfortable composing about the insanity, profanity and absurdity of being human. Simply summarized, Tall Piggy delivers disturbingly plumped up distorted funk crunch.

The self defecating nap master who makes his mother cringe regularly, writes all song lyrics and lays down all guitar and vocal tracks himself. That is simply how pigs have always made recordings. Metal and pot head peers led him by his snout to heavy metal and hairband influences such as Dio, Iron Maiden, Ozzy and Dokken. The frantic pleas of the high school jazz band director crying, “A round sound! Round!!! Not Motley Crue!” is one of his fondest memories from his youth. When asked about the pig behind the art he quips, “Don’t listen to me, listen to my music…..Oink?…”

Along with his thirst for groovy shred, Piggy has been performing, arranging, and composing classical guitar music since 1988.  His three main classical squeezes are Bach, Beethoven and Bartok – the three Bs as he likes to say. Combining the discipline and thematic development skills of classical composition with the brutality of metal and the grace of jazz is preferred even to a good wallow in the mud. He teaches classical, rock and every other style guitar at his studio in Houston where students learn whatever they like. TP belches out and records his sickeningly insulting fruity dance metal grooves while sitting on the pot for the most part. Good, tight and dry acoustics with a comforter on the floor and shower curtain pulled closed. Just right for vocals. Heh, heh, heh... Piggy takes frequent breaks, however, to feed the squirrels and mock the neighbors.

Tall Piggy

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