What Is Beauty Anyway?

I’ve been intoxicated by this idea of beauty lately…
Is it found in the porcelain skin of an Instagram pic? 
Or is it in bulging muscle that leads to crevices?
Could it be in the kiss of fully botoxed lips? 
Or is it the contour of a perfect cheek? 
Can it be in the curve of a spine laying on a tufted chaise?
Or is it found in the gracefulness of a hand caress? 
The questions never end, & I continue - 
A muddle of mint in a glass with no Bacardi. 

I’ve been obsessed with the idea of beauty…
Can a green iris be the epitome of beauty? 
Or is it more behind the knowing twinkle of an eye? 
Is it cascading of golden brown hair in a youtube video?
Or a French cut that accents the nape of a neck?
Is it found in Cumbia hips moving across the room?
Or is it found in the delicateness of a heaving breast?
I am doubtful of such simplicity. And the questions continue,
Returning like a guilty sinner to Mass.

It’s been decades of pondering beauty… 
One dare not say it’s gray hair, slow gait, or cottage cheese thighs.
But can it be youth, or shiny hair, or innocence? 
Could it be incessant giggles of joy that tease the ear?
Can it be in the mother goddess bulging and full? 
Once I think I am done, I must start again,
Every moment finds the climax of new beauty,
Because schooled into feeling less than, never good enough,
A small thing, you know, half-formed, hardened in me that knows best.

No one could teach me the beauty of self-love.
I had to fall back in love with myself 
one limb and belly button at a time.
And what if I am divine vessel?
How extraordinary to find my body is a tool of beauty, 
My body isn’t for me to approve of, 
It’s all I have to express love!
And surely my reflexive beauty 
Will pierce the eye of the beholder. 

April 15, 2021

What Is Beauty Anyway?

Mindfulness Meditation with music track Adieu, by Slovaki audio. I create these guided meditations from my past psychology practice of working with individuals. Please contact me with any questions, as I have many years of experience as a Mental Health professional in California.

Mindfulness Meditation And Music

The Discard Pile poem is my original work written on 9/22/2021.

You wouldn't believe it 
Even if I showed you. 
Walk down the path, left at the BBQ
Then right at the laundry door.
There behind the building, 
you'll find In an open nook 
The leftovers, the damaged goods
All the stuff you want to throw out 
But never get around to it 
Because of a million excuses- 
There's no time, too heavy, too old. 
You know what I mean...

There is the old sink that had a crack 
An old couch with the mattress springs 
Popping out, even the old vacuum 
You lost the handle to.
A broken lawn chair, some for sale signs
You never used, and some decorative lights, 
Which you can't remember what's wrong with them. 
Like your weaknesses, they all 
Add up to missed opportunities.
The thing you didn't say at the funeral.
The phone call you didn't cause 
You dreaded their response,
Or the person you didn't talk to 
Because you thought you weren't 
Good enough, 
Smart enough
Handsome enough.
You know what I mean...

Now hold on a minute. 
In the back, you spot a shiny 
Ceramic pot with a copper glaze. 
Somehow there is still a living 
Plant growing out of it with 
Tiny green budding leaves, 
And you wonder...
How did this life form survive 
All alone out in the discard pile?
And you start to think,
There is hope for us yet!

The Discard Pile

Koi vs Humans is an original poem written on Oct 8th.

The blossoms hung low over the koi pond  
The koi oblivious to its beauty. 
The lily pads of dark green, brown, and yellow 
Stretched as far as the eye could see. 
That was their sanctuary under the comfort 
Of darkness, the orange, white, and black speckled koi 
Hid.
There were no predators, there was no alarm, 
Just loud humans drinking endless summer hard seltzer
 Boot shoe sun drop hazy beers, 
Like there wasn’t a care in the world. 
Karl Strauss made sure no one suffered, 
Not even the koi.
Across the small, arched wood bridge,  
Near the pagoda was a waterfall 
Cascading over gray mossy, vertical rocks - 
So pleasant, so unencumbered. 
Unlike the humans debating the Giants vs Dodgers 
After they won the National League West title, and 
Now favored to move to the fourth World Series  win in 12 years;
The koi still oblivious yet hungry, always hungry, 
Pushing and nudging for the stray water strider 
Straddling the delicate surface tension. 
The water strider never sinking, 
Able to flee the gulping nervous, fat koi.  
Just like the water strider, the humans 
Survive another day, dodging the recurring trends of demise - 
the looming, nasty 5th extinction -  
To drink ale another day and toast. 

Fall 2021

Koi vs Human

“A Female Voice, Volume One is a diverse collection of female voice emotes performed by full-time voice actress, Tarabud, who has been featured in various commercials and video games. This library includes 300 short female emote assets, ranging from fighting, efforts, pain, falls, laughs, sighs, taunts, cheers, and more. A Female Voice, Volume One is a great library to have on hand for quick, female emote needs in video games, commercials, film, and TV.” Contact: Tarabud@gmail.com

A Female Short Emotes Voice Sample

Lyrics: 
Never thought I'd see your face
There you stood on Convoy Way
So fine; you have made my day
My nerves faltered
Couldn't look away
Couldn't look away
Couldn't look away
Couldn't look away

As we walked down on the beach
You moved further out of reach
Drifting slowly out to sea
Drop your anchor
Come on back to me
Come on back to me
Come on back to me
Come on back to me

You're my missing person
Ooooh, you left your mark and
Now I can't do without
You're my missing person
Ooooh, you left your mark and
Now I can't do without you

It’s time to make decisions
Go with your intuition
Show me the way
Show me the play you’re making
I can see us together
From now until forever
What do you say?
You know you make me crazy
Even in stormy weather
It doesn’t get much better
Things are okay
When you stay and embrace me
Nothing can come between us
You are the one I dream of
Don’t run away
Don’t run away, my baby

******************

Music written, produced, performed, and mixed by Star Madman
Lyrics written and performed by Tarabud & Star Madman
Vocals mixed by Star Madman
Mastered by Dennis Bestafka
Cover art by Tarabud
Released via Headphone Music Label

More Star Madman: starmadman.bandcamp.com

Missing Person (StarMadman & Tarabud)

Screamershock (UK) & Tarabud (USA)
Electronic Dance Music
Rollercoaster single 
Tarabud ~ Lyrics & Vocalist
featuring The Fused Locomotion Mix 
released by Pink Dolphin Music Label, UK​
Released March 27, 2020

Screamershock  & Tarabud - Rollercoaster

My collaboration with @Screamershock of the UK. Written in the winter of 2021 and released in the fall of the same year

Calling Beyond the Veil- Featuring Tarabud

Original Track: Havana Shade by Buona Sueño, with Tarabud on vocals. Now remixed by Wrekiti88 into the Curaid Remix

Havana Shade Remixes

Havana Shade - Featuring Tarabud, by Wrekit88 Curaid Remix

This is a new music collaboration made with DJ Skyjump of Italy. Released everywhere for streaming and download on 12.1.2022! 
Find it on Bandcamp: https://tarabud.bandcamp.com/track/land-of-jewels

Land Of Jewels

Hello! This is a Dance remix of the single "Life Goals" from 2021 @SentinelDream release. Blue Nagoon is in Alaska and we kindly collaborated on this remix! Tarabud on lyrics and vocals.

Life Goals (Blue Nagoon Remix)

This is a collaboration between Cobbler UK and I using my poem original "Ice House."

Come Closer To The Ice House (feat. Tarabud)

New collaboration between Fonz Tramontano and Tarabud. "California" single is a summer-vibes smashing song to get you through the cold months.

09/01/2023

California (Fonz Tramontano & Tarabud)

Gravity Post Cock Away

This guided meditation is to help your mind and body release fear, anxiety, and worry. Original music "Adieu" by Slovaki Audio. This meditation is not intended to replace any medication but to support your recovery in trying times. Please contact me with any questions, as I have many years of experience as a Mental Health professional. Please find more guided meditations by me on my website: https://www.tarabud.com/motivation 
Wishing you all the best, Tarabud

Releasing Fear & Anxiety Meditation

★Singer, Musician, Podcaster, Screen Actress & Voice Actress ★ Making your creative projects sparkle!  I am living in the good life bubble, one art project at a time. Also, find my other music projects, Foodie Podcaster, and PrettyHawke Design leather links below.
Thanks for stopping by! Catch ya later.

Tarabud

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