That Boy (Tonight)demo studio take 2

This is a very rough draft of my very rough song called “Faggot Shame”. I wrote it years ago when I heard the instrumental track “One Way Ticket” by Sad Girl in a playlist I made to prepare for my trip to Beach Goth music festival. I was in the middle of an HR investigation over an incident where a coworker punched me in the face and called me a faggot. That was all that was on my mind at that time, especially the disbelief that I wasn’t believed even with a picture of my busted lip I took right after. The truth was I felt numb to that pain and I even laughed as I walked away from him. I felt numb to being called a faggot and I realized I’d been called a faggot or had that word used around me in a degrading way by almost everyone in my life, by the people who claimed caring for me the most. I wrote this song about those feelings: how it feels like a repeating cycle of looking for love outside of myself because it feels like there’s something I can’t love about myself. I couldn’t explain it to myself in so many words at the time but God/the energies were in my feelings, and these words came to me in the form of this song. I’m currently reading an amazing book called “Shelter Me” by Juliette Fay and I’m going to end this post with a quote from it: “suffering is not wrong…it’s part of the human experience…brings us clouser to all people.” I hope hearing this brings me closer to you💛 PS I LOVE MY MOTHER DEARLY AND SHE LOVES ME JUST AS MUCH(this won’t be the first or last time she forgives me…)

_TASK_

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