This song has been described as the "most perfect country song ever written." It tells a story, and it reaches the heart. It sets a new gold standard for industry. They say it was produced by David Snyder, but Mr. Snyder would not return phone calls to deny or confirm.
Jack and Coke

By David Snyder, Aka Tater Totts
From the Album
“Nashville’s Greatest Country Hits”

V1.

Girl we gonna drink a little Jack and Coke
Gonna go outside and toke some smoke
And get crazy, get crazy
Put on some worn out Rascal Flats
Take you back to the trailer get you flat on your back
And get crazy, like we used to
When it was just me and you

CH:

All I want is a piece of you
It’s all that I know how to do
It’s crazy, ah it’s crazy
Got rode hard, and put up wet
We ain’t forgot about that yet
It’s crazy, ah it’s crazy
How much I want you
How much I want you

Ah girl, mmmm, mmmm,  yeah

V 2

One day you’re gonna ride in that Red Corvette
Bustin out of them black fishnets
And get crazy, get crazy
Then we’re gonna climb in the back of my truck
And I’m gonna try out all my luck
And we’ll get crazy
Just like we used to, when it was just me and you

CH:

All I want is a piece of you
It’s all that I know how to do
It’s crazy, ah it’s crazy girl
Got rode hard, and put up wet
We ain’t forgot about that yet
It’s crazy
How much I want you
How much I want you

Bridge

You might dress like Halloween
But you’re the prettiest thing that I ever seen
You might not be a home coming queen
But we’ll puff some weed til our face turns green
keep drinking til’ we smell like gasoline
listenin’ to Taylor and Jason Aldean…

Ch 3

Just say you will, say you might
Stay with me, Stay all night
We’ll finish the bottle and we’ll be all right
And no lie, ain’t no joke, ain’t messing around
Ain’t wastin’ smoke
But I almost love you girl more than I love
My dog and my truck
And my Jack and Coke
My Jack and Coke
And that ain’t no joke
That ain’t no joke


All words and music copyright 2015 by David Snyder. Performed by Tater Totts.


Jack And Coke

This song has been described as perhaps "the most heart warming Holiday song ever written, a tribute to both Walmart Christmas shopping, and the heart of the American Dream."
Christmas Truck
By David Snyder

V1.

One winter night over Alabam
Old Santa Claus lost his way
He started off in the cold north pole
And he was drinkin’ all the way

The deers were scared
Rudolph cried 
it wasn't much of a holiday
When two miles outside of
Birmingham
Santa crashed his sleigh

Round midnight daddy
Found him
The toys were nowhere to be seen
Santa was sitting in the middle
Of the woods
And Rudolph’s nose was green

Santa said sir
I'm sorry
I shouldn't have been drinkin' all that beer
I guess I won't be bringing the kids
any Christmas toys this year

But Daddy said to Santa
They're gonna have better luck

Cause we don’t miss Christmas in Alabam
And this year 
Santa Claus is drivin' a truck







Ch:

Yeah, Daddy is drivin' a Christmas truck
all the way to Walmart town

Two hours before the daylight breaks
All the prices will go down 

Yeah Daddy is driving a Christmas truck
All over the whole wide world
Bringing some Walmart Christmas joy
to every boy and girl

V2.

Little Jimmy is gettin' an Iphone
Little April gets a Play Station 3
Mama is gettin' a Roku
I wish they would give one to me

If you believe in Magic
You’ll find a way to make your own
And Daddy has always known just how
To bring that Magic home

Ch: 

Yeah, Daddy is drivin' a Christmas truck
all the way to Walmart town

Two hours before the daylight breaks
All the prices  will go down go down 

Yeah daddy is driving a Christmas truck
All over whole wide world
Bringing some Walmart Christmas joy
to every boy and girl
Bringing some Walmart Christmas joy
to every boy and girl

Performed by the Legendary Tater Totts
Words and Music by David Snyder

Christmas Truck

Nominated for the Presidential Medal of Freedom by his neighbor, Tater Totts said this song says "just about everything I want to say about America right now. See ya at the Country Music Association Awards. Oh and if you you see Toby, tell him he needs to give me by tool set back."
American Pride
By David Snyder

V1.
Well, I don’t know where the sun has gone
But I sure would like it back
I been walking through this heartland 
with a target on my back, a target on my back

Well, I used to wave old Glory
But I don’t do that no more
Until they bring the Union back, my friend
Don’t come knocking round my door, don’t come knockin’ round my door

CHORUS:

And while they’re snoopin’ through my mail box
I won’t be takin’ sides
But they sure won’t take away…never take away
My American Pride




V2. 

Well there’s a place up in the mountains, y’all
Where I still like to go
They’ll have a hard time listening to me
Cause we ain’t go no phones
I got sixteen shootin’ weapons
And I know how to use each one
And I read the papers mister
I ain’t keeping them for fun, I ain’t keepin’ them for fun

Chorus:
And while they’re stacking up excuses
I won’t be taking sides 
But I sure ain’t giving up…., never givin’ up
My  American Pride

V3.
I don’t know where the sun has gone
But I sure would like it back
I been walking through this heartland 
with a target on my back, a target on my back



Chorus:

While they’re writing propaganda
And spinning webs of lies
They’ll never take away, never take away
My American Pride…
Let this Free Bird Fly
With My American Pride…
My American Pride


All Words and Music Copyright 2013 by David Snyder

Performed by the Tater Totts Band


American Pride

This is one of Tater's church songs. He wrote it in church on the back of the bulletin while the preacher was giving a long sermon . He can't remember what the sermon was about, but he loved the picnic lunch on the lawn afterwards. Tater says he owes this tune to Gregg Allman who talked to him on the phone one day (for real) and advised him to "just play it clean."  This one is for you Gregg.

Jesus Plays Guitar

By David Snyder


Jesus came to my house today he said he wanted to play guitar

I said come upstairs my friend and I'll show you where they are

He went straight for the Stratocaster gleaming angelic white

He hit a chord and played a lick and then I started to see the light

I said tell me Jesus why you came

and can I get you anything

He nodded his head and muted the strings and this is what he said to me:


CH:


It’s been a long day of troubles 

Been trouble all over the world

I spent the whole day talking to folk

who didn't understand a word

I saw good folk and bad folk

I had my work cut out today

But even Jesus needs the chance

to just sit back and play

So play on Jesus, play it Son

sounds like Heaven's already come

Play  on Jesus, play it Son

sounds like Heaven's already come
already come
yeah

Long Guitar Solo


Coda:

Jesus came to my house today 

He said he wanted to play guitar

I said you can come upstairs my friend I'll show you where they are



All music and lyrics by David Snyder copyright 2015.


Jesus Plays Guitar

The Ballad of Country Joe
By Tater Nashville Totts

Hello, this is Tater Totts
and there is nothing I hate worse
than a big fat ugly Internet Troll
weighing about 600 pounds sitting behind their
computer in the dark watching porno and
afraid to come out in the light like a real man
cause he knows I will kick his ass
and what’s why I wrote this here song called
The Ballad of Country Joe, yes I did

V1

Country Joe you're not a man
And you know you’ll never be
Your mama still has to hold your hand
When you go to pee
You posted a picture of yourself in cowboy hat
From 1963
Now you weigh 800 pounds
You’re a disgusting sight to see


CH:

It’s the Ballad
The Ballad of Country Joe
And President Donald says you got to go
You big fat Internet Troll
We’re trying to make American Great Again
And you’re the world’s most pathetic excuse for a man
You're just a Big Fat Internet Troll
Thought I’d let you know
Country Joe


V2

You know
I met with President Trump yesterday
And I said DJ, you got to relax son
There’s a lot of people need to come
Into this country and I’m going to have to ask you to turn it down some
All except for one person DJ
And that’s Country Joe
I want you to pass an executive order against
All big fat ugly Internet Trolls
Hiding behind their computers like a bunch of
Russian hackin’ sissies who don’t even have the guts to show their face
I think you need to stop wasting your money picking on Mexico
Cause they sure as hell can make some music down there
No Mr. President
I think you need to make an Internet Border
Against Country Joe
The Internet Troll

CH:


Cause it’s the Ballad, the Ballad
The Ballad of Country Joe
And President Donald says you got to go
You big fat Internet Troll
We’re trying to make American Great Again
And you’re the world’s most pathetic excuse for a man
You're a Big Fat Internet Troll
and you're ugly too
Country Joe  ( x 2)

Cause you’re a stinkin’, sissie, 
pathetic, stupid
Useless, 
Internet Troll
That's who you are
that's exactly what you are
Country Joe

Words and Music copyright 2017 by David Snyder
(David Snyder is not responsible for the artistic style of Tater Totts)

The Ballad of Country Joe

Song for Everyone

By David Snyder and Tater Totts

A Special 2017 Christmas Band-in-A-Box Commercial Advertisement and Promotion

On How to Please Anyone, Anywhere at Any Time

Intro:


Hey there, this is Tater Totts
And they tell me you can’t please everybody in this world 
but I don’t think that is true anymore
Because I got myself Band in a Box
And I feel sure I can please just about anybody I want to
and here’s how I do it

V1

Girl, I know you think I’m the worst man
That you ever seen
But by time Christmas is over, I’m gonna be your dream

V2

Cause girl I’m gonna give you all kinds of Christmas bling
And girl you know I’m gonna let you hold my…
Let you hold my ring
Girl, I’m gonna give you all kinds of country hip hop
Christmas bling

Ch:

Cause I got more love, more love and soul
In the world than anyone
And girl, I’m gonna sing my
Song for Everyone

V3

Yeah girl you know I’ll be singing my song for everyone
You know I will
Gonna give you all kinds of Christmas bling
With some zing zing
And some ding a ling
And girl you might think I’m the worst thing that you’ve ever seen
But by time Christmas is over 
You’re gonna dig my scene

Ch

Cause I got more love
Than anyone under the sun
And I’m gonna be singing
Gonna be singing my Song for Everyone!!

More unintelligible gibberish...hard to transcribe

To sound this great, please call Band in a Box Sales: 800-268-6272 and mention David Snyder and Tater Totts as often as you can. This is in no way connected to any under-handed and self aggrandizing effort to get more Christmas credit for Band in a Box. This is straight up legit.

Featuring: Tater Totts,  L’il Kid Snoopy,  Bootay, Jason Aldoon, and a guest appearance by David Snyder

Real Tracks in Song: Every Real Track Available in the Real Band Ultra Pak Country Hop Hop Party Pak


Produced by: No One Stepping Up
copyright 2017 by David Snyder

Song For Everyone

Circle of Fifths
By David Snyder

CH

Got a circle of fifths
Around the front yard
Got a circle of empty fifths
Around the back yard too
I’ll keep going around this
Circle of fifths
Until I drink my mind
Off of you
Got a Circle of Fifths
In every room in the house
And baby it’s the best that I can do
And I’ll keep going around this
Circle of fifths
Until I drink my mind of you

V1

Well I flunked out of school in the first grade
Cause I still couldn’t add
2 plus 2
But I didn’t need no schoolin’ that much anyways
I never got the hang of sniffing glue
But I reckon there’s good money money made in truckin’
Til you pull into the truck stop from hell
That’s where I met you
It was my first mistake
Cause I could smell the liquor in your hair

V2

Well I only got one question ‘bout the liquor stores
What time do they open in your town
You know I got to get there
Early as I can
Cause there’s a woman that kicked my heart around
I should have known when I pulled into that  truck stop
I should have known when I kissed her
And got a whiff of that smell
I should have known that that woman was the devil
And she would drag me right straight down into hell

CH

Got a circle of fifths
Around the front yard
Got a circle of empty fifths
Around the back yard too
I’ll keep going around this
Circle of fifths
Until I drink my mind
Off of you
Got a Circle of Fifths
In every room in the house
And baby it’s the best that I can do
And I’ll keep going around this
Circle of fifths
Until I drink my mind of you


All Words and Music copyright 2018 by David Snyder

Circle of Fifths

Wanted Man Lo Fi Version by Tater Totts

Music and Lyrics by David Snyder

A Wanted Man_Lo Fi Version

Country Christmas
By David Snyder
Performed by Tater “Nashville” Totts

V1

When we done our Christmas shopping
little April came up to me
Said Mommy and Daddy
The neighbor’s don’t have
Any presents beneath the tree
See Mr. Smith can’t find a job
Ms. Price is all alone
Unless you’re filling boxes for Amazon
They’ll come and take away your home

P CH

She said Daddy you’re a Christmas music star
So do what Jesus would do
Give all my toys to the neighbors
They need them more than me and you

CH

It’s just another Country Christmas
With no presents beneath the tree
Cause we gave them to the neighbors
Christmas love doesn’t come for free
We did what Jesus told us and that’s good enough for me
All we have is Country Love
Underneath our Christmas Tree
But if it’s good enough for Jesus
It’s good enough for me

V2

Little Jimmy was pointing at the TV
Said Daddy look at Washington
The President’s making all the money these days
While people ‘round here got none
Half the kids in school are hungry
They’re not playing golf day
Their daddy is fighting overseas
And he’s hardly getting paid

P CH

Then my wife said honey you’re a Christmas music star
Let’s tell the story that Jesus would tell
Let’s give all our food to the neighbors this year
And tell Washington they can go to Hell

CH

It’s just another Country Christmas
With no presents beneath the tree
Cause we gave them to the neighbors
Christmas love doesn’t come for free
We did what Jesus told us and that’s good enough for me
All we have is Country Love
Underneath our Christmas Tree
But if it’s good enough for Jesus
It’s good enough for me

Bridge

They say it’s better to give
Than to receive
And if you have your neighbor’s love
I’m sure you will agree

Cause..

Chorus
It’s just another Country Christmas
With no presents beneath the tree
Cause we gave them to the neighbors
Christmas love doesn’t come for free
We did what Jesus told us and that’s good enough for me
All we have is Country Love
Underneath our Christmas Tree
But if it's good enough for Jesus
It's good enough for me

Words and music by David Snyder, copyright 2018, ASCAP/Day of Faith Records
David Snyder, engineering and production

Performed by the Legendary Tater “Nashville” Totts
King of Country Since 1969

Country Christmas

Tater Totts was discovered by the great Nashville songwriter and producer David Snyder. He lives in a deluxe double wide with a two car sheet metal patio and a 10 gallon grease fryer one mile outside of Podunk, North Carolina, the home of some of Nashville's most classic hits, such as "Christmas Truck," "Jack and Coke" and the immortal ""I'm Country." A person who knew Chet Atkins has said "Tater Totts is the past, present and future of country music. He may be the most talented man in the world. He is definitely the best guitar player."  He has also been called "the most politically incorrect man in country music," "a joke," and "the worst thing to ever come out of Nashville besides everybody else."  He was cited in a famous newspaper as having "the worst musical taste of anybody ever born but I know Elvis is up there in heaven tapping his feet." Tater says he owes all of his greatness to the numerous songwriting camps he has attended over the years and the many books and pamphlets he has read on how to write a great country song. As Tater says "If you can't find a way to get beer, tight jeans, and some reference to white tail in there somewhere, you got no business writing a country song."

Tater "Nashville" Totts