“The division of time in past, present, and future is a trick of words and numbers. All memories and expectations exist now and now only, because now is what there is and all that there is. 

We could say that the past flows back from now like the wake from the prow of a ship, and then just like the wake, vanishes. 

As the wake does not drive the ship, the past does not propel or move the present unless you, here and now, want to insist that it does — and so give yourself a perpetual alibi for all manner of irresponsibility.”  -Alan Watts
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THIS MIX'S THEME: Your Alibi
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As we move through life, at each moment we have a near infinite number of interpretations we could believe or choices we could make. 

Virtually all of the options we habitually choose — whether that be what we believe about our ourselves in a given moment or how we respond — are usually rooted in some prior experience.

But in each present moment, that prior experience simply does not exist. Nor do any of our beliefs. They are empty of any substance or reality whatsoever except what we give them. 

Only now exists.

Thought it may often not feel like it, we are always free to make a new choice. 

To open our hearts. To say a kind word instead of a harsh one. To believe something entirely new about ourselves and the world that empowers rather than disempowers.

This is about faith: faith that a past that isn’t real will determine the future, your future, OR faith in a story of your choosing that empowers and delights you and supports you.

And for you cynics, this is not a denial of our issues or that we need to face our life. Anything but. This choice represents the empowerment that makes facing what we must in life possible with grace, love, and the sweetness of an open heart.

What kind of faith will you choose?
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QUESTIONS TO PONDER:
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What is an area of your life where you are stuck, afraid, or disempowered? Maybe it’s a relationship, your career, your health. What disempowering story from the past — about this situation, yourself, or someone else — have you unconsciously chosen to have faith in? Said differently, what’s your “alibi” to keep you from what you truly want?

What is a new story, one that is just as valid and real, that you can offer yourself and choose to have faith in?

And what would you need to do for that faith to be justified, not just mere fantasy? How can you align yourself with life in words and action to give your faith the power it deserves?

ALIBI - Live from Por Que No 2022

So grateful to have had the opportunity to play this heart-opening, melodic, and just-the-right-amount-of-driving set for Sonder on Tuesday night on the playa. Hope you enjoy.

TATONKUH - Sonder @ Burning Man 2023

"Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart."
- The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

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This week's theme is about love. And about letting go. 

Have you ever been with someone that you're certain is right for you, and yet no matter what you try, you're unable to make the relationship work? Has it ever felt as though some unseen force is conspiring against you to undermine your relationship?

Recently, I learned about the concept of "Twin Flames," the idea that a single soul is split into two, comes to this plane of existence, and meets its other half. 

However, twin flames often do not end up together, but instead enter into an incredibly challenging relationship that reveals their "shadow," the parts of themselves which they must heal, deal with, and resolve in order to be the person they are meant to become.

This concept perfectly describes my relationship -- and its end -- with my now ex, Kelsey, of two years.  We separated in early August.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, the idea of relationship as a catalyst for our own growth and development, whether we remain together or separate, is profoundly powerful.

Letting go of the love I shared with Kelsey, doing the work to heal, to grow, and to become a better man -- and trusting that in doing so the love I truly desire will show up -- is the theme of this week's mix, called simply "Twin Flames."

As you listen, ask yourself: where can you use profound love, or letting go of the love that is safe but no longer serving you, as a catalyst for discovery, growth, and your own personal freedom?

TATONKUH - Twin Flames - Friday Devotional Weekly Mix Series, Oct 24, 2020

“I do know that for the sympathy of one living being, I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.” -Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

So close to Halloween, I’ve been thinking a lot about monsters. 

When we think of monsters, mostly we imagine unthinking, vicious creatures from unknown and unseen places which pursue their prey regardless of that prey’s virtue, or lack thereof, and for no particular reason other than generalized malice.

Godzilla certainly doesn’t care whether you’re kind or nice — only that you’re in the way.

But in truth, most monsters we face are of our own making, or seen through another lens, our society’s making, though we often are loath to admit it. 

In my own life, the most challenging experiences I’ve ever faced — my “monsters” — have been the result of the reactions by people I loved to choices I made or ways I acted with them. That one time I made an ex feel she wasn’t good enough for me and then she cheated on me in France — followed by months of me weeping like a child — comes to mind. 

Mostly, we don’t want to look at these situations and say, “Damn. My bad. I’m responsible for what I’m dealing with.” It’s far easier to blame the “other” for our suffering. But we have no power to tame the monster when it’s under someone else’s control. 

And things get trickier yet when we zoom out beyond ourselves and look at our society and our world. Who is to blame for war? Starvation? Political division? Climate change? Depending which side you’re on, you’ll get a different answer.

When there is no one person to point the finger at, who is to blame? Maybe no one, or just a select few. But regardless, even if there isn’t someone to blame, we can all take responsibility for the monster lurking, and its defeat.

Because blame and responsibility are distinct. Even if we aren’t to blame for the monsters lurking in our lives, we can always take responsibility for eradicating them.

This mix embodies the force, darkness, and struggle of battling a monster of our own making, and the freedom that follows when we win.

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION

As you listen, ask yourself: what monster am I not taking responsibility for in my life? What monster in the world can I take at least some responsibility for slaying?

Happy Halloween, and Happy Monster Hunting!

TATONKUH - Monsters We Create - Friday Devotional Mix Series, Oct 30, 2020

Welcome to "Friday Devotional." Each Friday, I release a curated mix that is based in an idea, theme, or feeling. The intention is to provoke thought, to open your heart and mind, and to give you something amazing to listen to over the weekend.
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“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.” -Rumi
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THIS WEEK'S THEME: Missing You
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This year has been one of great loss for so many, and collectively. 

Especially the people we love, or our ability to connect with them. And as a culture we tend to want to minimize loss, to gloss over it, to be positive and say “well, it’s ok because...”

Or in my case, when I lose someone I love, I want to pick apart “what happened” and understand every aspect of how things unfolded so that I can make damn sure it never happens again. 

In these last several months since my ex and I separated, I have thought hundreds of hours about what I could have done differently, better, or more lovingly to avoid this pain. But the truth is that I did the best I could with the awareness and knowledge I had at the time. 

That’s what we all do in life. The best we can with what we’ve got.

So when we finally give up the story that there was some other way it could have been, all there is to do is take our lessons forward and confront the loss — and the pain.

There is no explanation that will make me miss her less. When we truly love someone and we lose them, there is no avoiding the hurt, the heartache, and the grief. And our distractions just prolong and deepen the suffering.

When we understand that, we see that our choice is simple: face the pain, embrace it as an expression of our love for them, and let the pain break open our hearts again so that love can enter once more.

So not only is it ok to think, “I miss you.” It’s beautiful, and it’s medicine if you let it be. 

Because heartbreak and grief is just love in drag. 
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THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:

What heartache, loss, or sadness have you resisted and turned away from? Why? What could open up if you turn towards it? And what do you need to do to create that opening?
---
Cover Art: "Un:named" by IG: @jettergreen (jettergreen.com)

TATONKUH - Missing You - Friday Devotional Mix Series, 11.6.2020

“You didn’t come into this world. You came out of it, like a wave from the ocean. You are not a stranger here.” -Alan Watts
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Welcome to "Friday Devotional." Most Fridays, I release a curated mix that is based in an idea, theme, or feeling. The intention is to provoke thought, to open your heart and mind, and to give you something amazing to listen to over the weekend.
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THIS WEEK'S THEME: THE WAVE
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This week’s theme is inspired by an Alan Watts lecture in which he talks about how our very existence is part of a larger, inseparable whole, in much the same way that a wave is also the entire ocean of which it is a part.

It made me think about how just as there can be no peak of a wave without a trough, there can be no joy without sadness, no life without death, no light without dark, no self without unity.

It’s all simply one thing, happening, but the human mind separates and judges some aspects as good, such as life, and some as bad, such as death. And when we are in the “trough” of the wave and our circumstances challenge us, we often forget that the trough itself is the indication that the next wave is coming, and we are merely surfers waiting to catch that ride.

When we remember this, we can relate to every aspect of life with an open heart and grace and our hardships become an invitation to expand. 

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION

What aspect of yourself or your life are you currently judging as bad?  Can you bring gratitude to it and begin to see it as the trough of a wave, giving you the chance to experience the peak that will follow? 
---
Cover Art by IG: @jettergreen (jettergreen.com)

TATONKUH - The Wave - Friday Devotional Series, 12.11.2020

“Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.” - Alan Watts
—
Welcome to "Friday Devotional." Most Fridays, I release a curated mix that is based in an idea, theme, or feeling. The intention is to provoke thought, to open your heart and mind, and to give you something amazing to listen to over the weekend.
—
THIS WEEK’S THEME: SACRED UNION
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In our culture, we associate being in a “successful” romantic relationship as the result of some mix of good luck, romantic synchronicity, and most of all, picking the “right” person for you. 

And we view the purpose of relationship as a way to have our needs and preferences met, and as a consequence, we give our love conditionally.

What if both of these ways of thinking were wrong?

What if the purpose of your relationship was to connect you to the divine and support you in fulfilling your purpose and your development as an eternal soul? 

What if loving your partner was a sacred act, an expression of the divine nature of life itself? What if you loved them so unconditionally that even if they chose another, your love wouldn’t cease?

If this kind of elevation of consciousness was the purpose of relationship, then how we find that partnership — or transform the partnership we are already in — would be completely different: by elevating ourselves to be capable of true service to another, the world through our purpose, and to the divine. 

This week’s mix is an expression of that journey, passing through the depths of a dark night of the soul, but arriving to the sweetness of the highest form of love in the end.
—
THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:
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Is it possible that when we work to become whole and to serve, the universe conspires to bring our match to us in ways we cannot understand or predict?

What work do you need to do to have the universe conspire on your behalf? What work do you need to do to be ready to receive that love? —
Cover Art by Android Jones (www.androidjones.com)

TATONKUH - Sacred Union - Friday Devotional Series - 12.18.2020

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” -Alan Watts
—
Welcome to "Friday Devotional." Most Fridays, I release a curated mix that is based in an idea, theme, or feeling. The intention is to provoke thought, to open your heart and mind, and to give you something amazing to listen to over the weekend.
—
THIS WEEK’S THEME: DIFFERENT
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2020 was as strange and different a year as any of us have experienced, and one of the most challenging.

No one knows what 2021 will bring. We have some decent guesses, but they’re only just guesses. I’m hopeful for something altogether different than 2020 — not just for myself, but for the world.

A return to freedom. A return to being able to connect with one another and celebrate freely. A return to “normalcy,” only with a level of appreciation we’ve never brought to each normal, average moment.

Regardless of what happens, our job if we want 2021 to be different, is to dive in fully, without reservation, and make the best of what we have.

This week’s mix is a straightforward dedication to amazing new year that’s altogether different.
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THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:
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What are you still resisting from 2020 to be free in 2021? What do you need to let go of for 2021 to be the best year of your life? What do you need to embrace and dive into for 2021 to TRULY be different?

TATONKUH - Different - Friday Devotional Mix Series - 1.1.2021

“The garden of the world has no limits, except in your mind.” -Rumi
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THIS WEEK’S THEME: RECEIVE
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Have you had a dream for your life you thought wasn’t going to show up anytime soon only to find the very thing you wanted suddenly and unexpectedly arrived?

If you’re like me, or many others, perhaps your reaction wasn’t what you thought it would be. Perhaps you unconsciously resisted and pushed away that for which you longed most, whether it was love, success, money, or joy in any of its forms. Or maybe you gripped so tightly it slipped through your fingers.

Often, the hardest part of getting what we want isn’t getting it, but noticing and receiving it when it shows up.

But why?

We may be addicted to longing for what we want or feeling safe if we’re afraid to be vulnerable. Or we may believe we aren’t ready or deserving because we’re conditioned to believe we’re only deserving when we’ve “done the work” or sacrificed in some way.  

Until who we think we are matches what we want, like a an electrical socket ready to receive a plug that fits perfectly, it won’t matter how much we try; what we want won’t be ours until we embody the person who has already received it.

This week’s mix is about the journey from resisting to receiving, in this case love, but you can apply it to anything you wish to receive.
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THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:
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There is nothing wrong with resisting or being unable to receive. In fact, it is merely the universe’s invitation for you to learn something new about yourself and expand who you thought you were.

What story do you need to give up, and what do you need to heal, to embody and become the person who has already received everything you’ve ever wanted?
—
Art by IG: @jettergreen

Receive - Friday Devotional Mix Series - 1.15.2020

Roaming bison in search of the grasslands of house, techno, and magic.

Tatonkuh

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