Push It Down

Something Better

Designated Driver

I Live In Patterns (feat. Alix Page)

I Live In Patterns

Nightmare

Fingers Crossed

It's Alright

Patience

Sunday Morning

Hotline

You wave the power you have around like a knife
Letting it swing from the tips of your fingers
And I don't know how to make it stop
So I just let it all take over

I tell them all that I'm not angry anymore
But it crawls through my veins and it sinks in my pores
If i wanted I could let it go,
But it's the only piece of you left to hold

I am sick of your invisible abuse where you
bend your voice screaming away my youth
Despite what you say is unwavering dedication
I'm just a station
A station that you stop at

I try to tell my friends about you ut the
words taste so bitter that I can barely get them out
So I learn to suffer with you
And let it silence me

But you're not alright and you never were
you'd only open your bloodshot eyes so you could watch the world burn
You don't wanna be my home
You're just a station that I stop at.

I'm sick of stations that I stop at.

Stations

You see someone else when you look at me 
You see what I've always tried to train myself to be 
You see dinner tables and picture frames and everything in between 
You see a medicated mind gripping tight to belief 

And I hope I never have to see this waiting room again 
With patients coughing beside me, 
while i stare up at fluorescents 
Praying that no one I know will walk in 
And I'll have to explain why I'm here 
But I don't even know why I'm here 

My mouth sewn shut, for you I tear open the seams 
Every time they ask what's wrong with me 
If I knew, I'd tell you, but trust me I don't 
And you can diagnose me, but that won't make me cope 

And I hope I never have to see this office again 
Spitting out my demons to somebody I just met 
She's taking notes just to remember my name 
Cause the only one who listens is the person I pay 

And I hope I never have to see this waiting room again... 

Lest I forget what it's done to my head 
Let the medication fix me instead

The Waiting Room

Mother, I swear I'm better now
Last year's sickness is finally dying down
I've been getting out of bed, taking my meds
I even go outside
If that's not enough to make me alright
Then why even try?

Well Pastor, I can assure you I am fixed
And crying in public doesn't mean that I'm sick
I haven't been eating or sleeping, but that's irrelevant
cause I can cover the thorn in my side wearing my Sunday best

Half of me is in denial
The other won't stop it's feeling
So when I tell you that I'm all better now
I don't know who's speaking

Father, I'm better now I promise
I've managed to tie myself to an over-priced office
No I don't need to talk,
I don't wanna write, 
there's nothing left to say
I turned out like you would expect me to,
as a descendant of quiet shame

I'm better now, I promise

There's no use in being honest

Better Now

Don’t look, I’ve seen the ending
It’s worse than you thought
Don’t say, don’t say anything
The silence is what you want

Don’t watch, I know the future
And there are no miracles
I don’t mean
To sound so cynical 
But no one changes that much

Is it too late for me to believe in the morning’s new mercies?
Cause I’ve been dying just to see a glimpse of the morning and it’s new mercies

Elois, elois 
A god forsaken reply
If I speak to the daylight
Will you hold the sun still in the sky?
So I don’t have to watch all my heroes die
By the hand of the night
I wrote their eulogies in my scattered poetry and I buried them nearby

Here lies the paradox, a shouting match with silent God 
The push and pull of faith unseen, I nurse my bleeding unbelief 
Well I don’t know what to say to someone who knows everything
All I do is fight your words, so let’s not act like I deserve the morning and it’s new mercies

New Mercies

Night falls and I look out and I can’t make out a thing
So I burned all my bridges down just to have something to see
But you don’t need to worry darling, 
I don’t need to escape 
From this ever growing sadness that I can’t help but create for myself

Well if I knew what was good for me, I’d open up the blinds
I’d let my room be filled with sun, let it change my life
But you don’t need to worry darling, one day I’ll be just fine 
I’ll stare up into the sun til it burns right through my eyes

Is that what you want?
Is that what you wanted from me?
Is that what you want?
Is that what you needed to see?
if I see the beauty in everything
Then how am I to know just what to sing
When it all falls down
And there’s no one around

Melancholy’s always got me right where it wants
And my voice hurts from starting shouting matches with God
But you should start to worry darling
If you can’t hear the sirens calling
Out through my broken promise
Didn’t you ask me to be honest?
[chorus]

When it all falls down.
I’ve been practicing my steps
For when it all falls down again

Shouting Matches

The debut album, I Live In Patterns, out now
glassnote.ffm.to/taylorjanzen-iliveinpatterns 

“The powerful simplicity of a voice, a guitar, a restrained melody and a raw emotion has been rediscovered by songwriters like Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers and now Taylor Janzen.” - The New York Times

 The Winnipeg artist returns with new single “What I Do…” out via Glassnote Records. The song was produced by Luke Niccoli (Miya Folick, Joji), mixed by Neal Avron (Brandi Carlile, Bleachers, Twenty One Pilots ), and mastered by Joe LaPorta (Of Monsters and Men, Leon Bridges).

“’What I Do…’ is a song I wrote about being in a serious relationship and suddenly realizing that your issues are affecting someone else for the first time, and not entirely knowing how to change that. Musically, it’s a bit of a departure for me. I wrote it on an acoustic guitar in my bedroom, but when we got around to producing it, it seemed to take on a life of it’s own." says Janzen.

With further praise from Noisey, NPR, Paste, i-D, and The New York Times, Taylor kicked off the year as an Official Artist at SXSW where she was asked to perform at Rolling Stone's Emerging Artist Showcase.

Growing up, Taylor wasn't encouraged to speak through her feelings, so turned to songwriting as an outlet. As a result, with each song we're granted an intimate and almost painstakingly brazen glimpse into the most heart wrenching pages of her diary.  She writes candidly, touching on the topics of mental health and emotional abuse, noting that, “the music that I write is very honest, so it speaks for itself.”

Taylor Janzen

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