had another dream about you
and this time you had started to fall in
nice to feel your arms again and
something ‘bout your lips before the
absence settles in
an empty bed i wake to
and someone else is there to fill yours in

i feel the crookedness in my mouth
every time i bite down
i say with my chest like i can make it true 

i don’t want you
i don’t want you
i don’t want you

it’s 6:45 am
i feel for the keys, they’ve been
the closest i can find to you
i’ve tried writing down the dreams, but
every word looks more silly
am i cutting it out
or sucking it in

i don’t want you
i don’t want you
i don’t want you

when i said i was ready
i didn’t know what ready meant
when i said i was bleeding
i hadn’t seen how much you’d bled
when i saw you were healing
i didn’t know that you could mend 

i want to know what gave me you
i want to know what it gave to you
i want to know what gave
i want to know what gave
i want to know what gave

i want to know what gave
i want to know what gave
i want to know what gave


taylor pearlstein 2021

what gave (sleepy demo)

In production for release Spring 2021 :) 


always the one to cross 
where they tell me to cross
never had much to find
cause i never got lost

never known a big risk
i’ve always been addicted
to the fly without any of the fall
never ventured down
the road untrod

never short on dreams
but always short on time
living eight o clock
like its already nine 

i always want a quick fix
i’m stalling ‘til the big shift 
where i fly and everything into place falls
but i cant get high enough
to see at all

so far
every life that i have lead is
so far
from the life inside my head and
so far so good, i guess
if getting through until i’m dead
on moments that i haven’t lived
is good enough
good enough

and so far
when i’m not living in the past
i’m so far
i’m in tomorrow’s bed and I’m like
so far, some good has landed 
so far, i always standing
so far from where i am and

i don’t wanna miss it
i don’t wanna miss it 

i wish I had a better story I could tell
Never took the time to write one for myself
So I’m sitting in the darkness
And shrugging at the what-if’s
Seeing what I lose if it’s not tightly held
And what falls away looks smaller where it fell

so far
every life that i have lead is
so far
from the life inside my head and
so far so good, i guess
if getting through until i’m dead
on moments that i haven’t lived
is good enough
good enough

and so far
when i’m not living in the past
i’m so far
i’m in tomorrow’s bed and I’m like
so far, some good has landed 
so far, i always standing
so far from where i am and

i don’t wanna miss it
i don’t wanna miss it 

so far
every life that i have lead is
so far
from the life inside my head and
so far so good, i guess
But getting through until i’m dead
on moments that i haven’t lived
isn’s good enough

and so far
when i’m not living in the past
i’m not so far
I’ve made tomorrow’s bed and I’m like
so far, some good has landed 
so far, i always standing
so far from where i am and

i don’t wanna miss it
i don’t wanna miss it
I don’t wanna miss it
I don’t wanna miss it
I don’t wanna miss it



taylor pearlstein 2021

So Far (Reference Demo)

the difference (voice memo - full)

the one I want to say it to
the hand I want to hold 
the words I want to use on you 
the way I let them go 

the songs I sing and dance for you 
when I’m all alone 
the way I want to give to you 
the ways that I withhold

i  want to touch your bruises
see how deep they bleed
i want to see the yellow 
seeping into greens

i want to know your stories 
your victories, your falls 
lay it all before me
i want to know it all

it all.m4a

my sights adjusting
since we turned out the light
since we both chose what was right
put it back inside

and the dark isn’t so bad
not when dawn is breaking so soon
and i know ill wake up wanting you

so before the day burns through the window
and turns the green you left to brilliant fire 
it can still be green for a while

anyway i’ve been thinking of you
anyway i’ve been wanting you
actually i never stopped
if i said i did i lied
anyway i’ve been missing the way you were here

the way you were here


i’ve been rearranging
all the furniture in my house 
so there’s nowhere for your ghost to sit down 
but no matter the couch chair or table 
or how many times i spin them around 
she’ll just sit right there on the ground 

anyway i’ve been thinking of you 
anyway i’ve been wanting you 
i can’t seem to find a way to stop 
i’m not sure i really tried 
anyway i’ve been missing 
i’ve been missing 
i’ve been missing the way you were here 

the way you were here

night vision.m4a

you want me and thats a problem
i want you bad
we came-to in the kitchen
burned breakfast black

we got the fire blanket
no shred of doubt
that i’d love to burn my house down
i’ve worn it out
i’ve worn it out

i visit us in my head
and every time i beg
please don’t leave the bed
please don’t get dressed
don’t get dressed
don’t get dressed

oh ooh
no ooh
no ooh

bathed on your couch that evening
our favorite light
watched the walls for signs of catching 
we knew they might

beneath our fire blanket
we’d never singe
i sleep no covers, naked
i’ve been burning
i’ve been burning

while i sift the ash around my head
and half-asleep i will beg
for five more minutes
don’t leave just yet
don’t get dressed
don’t get dressed

no ooh
no ooh
no ohh

fire blanket (draft).m4a

i do i do i do
i do remember you
but tell me bout the plans we used to make
i am i am i am
i’m trying to i can
recall the stars but not the way we laid

if i could tempt the fates to hand me back that day
would i still feel your answer warm in my palm
i forget all my dreams
even this one it seems
please sing it and i’ll try to sing along

i’m not lost, i’m right here my love
i’m not gone, i’m just near enough
that we can find some way back to us
and i will love you like you say i can

its like i skipped a beat
or i cant find my feet
or like i maybe learned a different dance

but you swear it went like this
and theres trueness on your lips
so you kiss and kiss and try to break the trance
but it seems the moves we made were happenstance

i’m not lost, i’m right here my love
i’m not gone, i’m just near enough
that we keep trying to find some way back to us
so i might love you like you say i can

my love my love don’t cry
we know the reason why
tragedians shake their fists in jealousy

and there is no tempting fate
to hand us back that day
the story’s never as good as memory
but tell it one more time until i fall asleep

it might be lost, but i’m right here my love
it may be gone
or not quite near enough
to be the way 
the way back to us
oh but i’d have liked to love you
love you like you say i can

say i can 
love like you say i can

like you say i can

baby teeth reh house show.m4a

slow death : prisoner of the prophet reh house show .m4a

wrote this five min ago, here it is


wish i didn’t care
wish i didn’t care so much
wish you could sit near me
and that could really be enough 

i love it when you fuck me
but i’d rather we make love

i love it when you call me
but I’d rather feel your touch

the touch you never offer
kind of touch that makes us sick
as soon as lips linger
we’re plunging deeper in

and I wish you didn’t care
i wish you didn’t care so much
i wish you could be baby
at least until our time is up

i know it might seem crazy
when you’re in between my thighs
that maybe it would save me
if you looked me in the eye

is there something there to offer
and you’re just to scared to give
(if you get outside your comfort,
don’t know if you can reel it back in)*

oh i wish i didn’t care
I wish i didn’t care so much
i wish you didn’t care 
i wish I didn’t care so much




*changed the lyrics after, sorryyy

Taylor Pearlstein

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