“MOTHER I” was a labor of love. In that, it was the love that got me through the labor. Just over a year ago, on a steel table in Kansas, I was given 3 wrongful diagnoses for severe abdominal pain and internal bleeding in a row, culminating in a doctor nonchalantly letting me know that I would never have children of my own. And as part of me died with the shock of that news, he smirked at me: “But you’re so young - that must be a relief, eh? No consequences!” The rest of the day was a blur, as were the following months. Those who know me know that - though many other things in my life have shifted and changed like churning waves - one thing has remained, steadfast as a lighthouse: I’ve *always* known I was meant to be a mom. And knowing that, down to the deepest part of my core, has gotten me through the chaos of life. So to hear that the very thing I had fastened a large part of my future and identity to might be impossible? I was shattered. The only break in the ravenous empty was the hour I spent - immediately after coming home from the ER-  writing the poem that became “MOTHER I”. And, after reconnecting with musical genius JP Warner, that poem was set to become a song. What followed was one of the most sacred acts of creation I have ever been part of. “MOTHER I” (then simply “MOTHER”) was an only child for months as I battled through appointment after appointment, and adjusted to my new existence. But once I started to truly process my experiences and how traumatic they were (thank you, therapy!), I went through every stage of grief… and documented every single one through song. And after the death, rage, and mourning came acceptance, and with that, an unexpected additional stage… enlightenment. For one day, I woke up and realized that even if I *had* been diagnosed with 100% certainty on that fateful day in December, the mothering energy that has always dwelled within me would have lived on in a million other ways. Because there is no one way to be Mother. Mother isn’t birth. Mother is CREATION. Mother is LIFE. And suddenly, though “MOTHER I” was my purpose when I thought I no longer had one, my lifeline when I thought my life was over, my teacher when I had to start anew and relearn myself, and my revelation when external conditioning and incomplete ideas had entangled themselves into my sense of identity… “MOTHER I” became so much bigger than just me and my experience. So now, I finally get to share it with you. “MOTHER I” was the first step in rebuilding myself after one of my Towers had fallen. “MOTHER I” documents the first part of a transformation. “MOTHER I” began a journey. And “MOTHER I” is now available on all streaming platforms. It is dedicated to all the women who are not believed, and all the kids that we’ve failed. It belongs to everyone who has had their faith shaken and come out singing. And I hope that it will serve as a reminder to anyone listening that the death of one chapter can enrich the soil for the life of another. So let the dead things lie. You are still breathing. GROW. Love, TE/MO 💛

TE/MO

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