Listening to my old highschool playlists. Ur music and lyrics are so amazing and still resonate with me deeply. Truly hope ur doing well💚

senior year and im still a loner... at least my music taste has gotten so good im happy wit hmy earbuds in all the time :)

"cause my stupid brain can't help but get attached to every person whose attention even barely starts to drift a bit my way"  damn so relatable:(

Middle school playlist. Girl cheated on me. I’m back.

"and it's coming on again, starting to crush again" hits right here mate, 3 years later, I feel the same sadness and loneliness that I went through 3 years ago. it fuckin sucks

This has been a while in the making, and I'm still adding songs.

Unironically Midwest Emo

love you all

available on spotify, apple etc now here:
https://lontalius.lnk.to/surrender

spotify/apple/etc

sleep thru ur alarms

onterio

Good Luck

Common Cold

this is my "try-hard-angsty-emo-high-school-ass-bullshit" song about wanting to grow weed and high school. plz enjoy.

i feel so angry and i don't know why
my parents say it's hormones but i just wanna die
and i'm always tired but i can't fall asleep
thinking about the things i wanna be but i will never be
i stay up later than i probably should
when i wake up in the morning i regret it like i knew i would
i hate your friends because i don't fit in
maybe it's selfish but it sucks to not fit in

i want to buy a house in the mountains and i
want to grow illegal plants inside of my garden
i want to get arrested in a high speed car chase
and i want you just to love me and i want to kiss your fuckin face

i want to tell you that i love you
but honesty means that i shouldn't lie
i wish that i could say i miss you
but if i did well then i would be lying
to you

i want to buy a house in the mountains and i
want to grow illegal plants inside of my garden
i want to get arrested in a high speed car chase
and i want you just to love me and i want to kiss your fuckin face

i want to tell you that i love you
but honesty means that i shouldn't lie
i wish that i could say i miss you
but if i did well then i would be lying
to you
and my friends
and your friends
and my parents
and everybody else who knows about what happened
like you
and my friends
and your friends
and my parents
so i'll smoke a bowl and talk about later with you with you wake
up

school spirit

saturn suv

you're probably having the same conversations with your friends 
that i always have with mine 

about how i'm too hung up and how i need to just get over it 
but these kinds of wounds can only heal with time 

so let me know if ever there is anything that i can do 
to help you out or make you feel alright 

'cause i still think about you often, i still wonder how you're doing
i still fear that you'll let this world dim your light 

i'm sorry for it all

sorry

i've never felt less like myself 
than when i'm naked in reflections 
truly wish that i could exit this body 

and it's coming on again 
starting to crush again 
can't wait to fuck up every friendship that i've made 

but i've never felt more like myself 
than when i'm drunk alone 
at 3 a.m. again 

'cause my stupid brain can't help but get attached 
to every person whose attention 
even barely starts to drift a bit my way 

oh, here we go again 
here we go again

here we go again

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music
cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert

lyrics:
laying up at night 
no concept of myself 
i'm lost inside my head 
you're lost inside, as well 

i'm breathing in fresh air 
on my grandparents' front porch 
while you're laying in the grass 
or you're staring at the floor 

and anxious like i am 
i'm panicking again 
'cause i'm losing touch with all 
the people i call friends 

you're losing in a staring contest 
with whatever's in your mirror 
you are me and i am you 
but we're not one and i'm inferior 

i'm three beers past five too many 
i'm two bowls past too high 
i'm one forehead kiss away 
from falling asleep when i realize 

that my whole life is up in the air 
my heart is out on a tightrope 
and my mind is so unaware 
that the safety net was cut a long time ago 

so why should i remember 
when good times come around 
if the deafening silence of anxiety 
will drown out the prettiest sounds 

at the bottom of a riverbed 
my nightmares are coming on 
they feel like my favorite song 
if i didn't know the words whenever it came on

winter

download <3

a conversation about identity

elvis depressedly - inside you (atlas cover)

i've been keeping my bedroom door unlocked
just in case i need to escape my thoughts
they're never ending
they're never ending
i got a lot of ideas but no drive to achieve
all the things that i know i could probably be
so i'll keep pretending
i'll keep pretending

but you know me
and you see right through me

i know i haven't been the easiest to care for
it's hard to be myself
when i don't know who i am
even know who i am
i'm up waiting for you to text back you love me
it's hard to know what you'll say
when i don't know who i am
even know who i am

i've been faking my way through class every day
looks like [all] the problems i've made won't just go away
they're never ending
they're never ending
call it seasonal depression or whatever you want
but i feel like shit and i put up a front
i'll keep pretending
i'll keep pretending

but i know you
and i can't lie to you
i wish i could lie to you
but you make me face the truth

i know i haven't been the easiest to care for
it's hard to be myself
when i don't know who i am
even know who i am
i'm up waiting for you to text back you love me
it's hard to know what you'll say
when i don't know who i am
even know who i am
yeah I don't even know who i am
even know who i am

space date (demo)

produced by @jhfly
mixed by @halberd-3000

lyrics:

you know it's they/them, as in me and most of mine
some identical identity, i keep 'em close beside
open old wounds just enough to bleed out older lines
'til there's no truths left, and i concede to close my eyes

and even though the sleet and snow are peeking through the blinds
i still meet them on my morning walk, sheepishly surprised
used to think this skittish brain might need to be inside
'til neurosis was a locksmith with a key to where i hide

now i keep ice on me, that shit froze
not like diamonds, though--it's april and we still been gettin' snow
but me and all my friends are 'bouta hit the road
not for tour, tho, i really just enjoyed it when we drove, 'cause

you're way less likely to get stared at
by an old white man in a moving car
and yes, i see that really neat flag on your window
are you quite aware that you guys lost the war?

and, yes, i did use the gender neutral bathroom
what is your concern with what i've got going on?
you can fight me in this walmart if you want to
but when you get your ass beat, don't pull out your AR

yes, my fucking nails are painted! what, you think i didn't know?
yes, i wore a skirt today! what's with all the rigmarole?
yes, i've got some makeup on, and yes, bitch, i look beautiful
so 'fore you ask another question, you can get to getting ghost

here we go again

tea

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