2023

LYRICS:

There should be candy hearts for
People who’ve been together 20 years
And their romance has evolved into routine

Like:
What’s for dinner?
Where’re my car keys?
Is the dishwasher clean or dirty?
I love you, I love you too,
Your feet are so fucking cold

When you’re twenty-two
Intimacy means fucking constantly
But when you’re forty-four, it’s
I hope we die together, please don’t ever leave me

There should be candy hearts for
People who’ve been together 20 years
“Be mine” becomes bemoaning
How you always miss the hamper with your socks

So be my valentine
And be my emergency contact
Be my primary beneficiary,
Tooth fairy, Easter bunny and Santa too

This heart-shaped box of chocolates
That I bought at a gas station on my way to work
Sat in the car all day
But you were probably gonna give it to the kid anyway

There should be candy hearts for
People who’ve been together 20 years
Like, let’s make love on Tuesday 
If there’s nothing good on TV

I still like you
We’re okay
We’ve got a teenager and a 401k
Be my baby
Take a chance
You’re a snappy dresser but I love you in sweatpants
You’re my sweetheart
You’re my home
You piss me off sometimes, but it beats being alone
There is nothing that a candy heart could say
That articulates the way I think about you every day

demo 2022-02-15

Candy Hearts

New Year meditation on invasions.

What if all the invasive species decided to spontaneously combust?

What if you were one of them?

My old friend Kate Khosla kindly lent her beautiful voice!

explosion of starlings

V1: summer twilight, not a cloud in the sky
Above a blanket with a million points of light 
Upstairs in the bedroom 
I see you slipping on your dress
you’re singing through the window
and I smile to myself 
 
SHORT CH: All the stars
none of them the same
just like you— each a precious flame

V2: Sneaking out the backyard
Bare foot – wet from the dew
Pretending we’re strangers 
Your silhouette draws me to you
kiss my neck and pull me close 
Say you’re never letting go
shivers dance down my back
and the stars see it all

CH: All the stars
They never look the same
Just like you— each a precious flame
Glowing like fireflies, looking for a friend
All the stars
I hope this evening never ends 
 
SOLO on Verse chords
 
CH: All the stars 
Will never reveal our fate
You and me– how much longer must I wait
Glowing like fireflies, searching for love
All the stars
Hanging silent up above
They will never say a word…

DEMOS

All The Stars

I went looking for it in the sound of ‘91
The proof was in the kiss and in king’s x it’s love
It was a song for love, a sixties mind, a bull’s eye guitar
Glittering in every step a rising joy star

Walked around a dying tree with dust arms raised 
I found it in the copper caps and white stalk maze
The devil falls and living walls, splash stone floor
Shimmering in every step a rising joy star

In the now, in the end, it’s there in a memory’s hum
I vow to attend to the pointlessness swelling inside
You’ll SEE me rise, with a truth loud as a snare drum
Leaving the Past and the future behind

Making something out of nothing music in our minds
Push it farther move it closer dreaming unwinds
Listening with intent a syncing of hearts
Vibrating every step a rising joy star

Imagination, effortless, no need to worry
Loosening the beat, goodness no need to worry

In the now, in the end, it’s there in a memory’s hum
I vow to attend to the pointlessness swelling inside
You’ll see me rise, with a truth loud as a snare drum
Leaving the past and the future behind

Songwriting Challenge Jan 2023

Week #1 of the Ithaca Songwriting Challenge

Music and Lyrics by Anneke van Renesse and Lesley Greene
Ukulele - Anneke

Sweet Gary

Here we are again
In the light of another place
Holding time again
With that glow up on your face

I want to reach right through 
Feel the space of another climb
What we might do 
If we gave ourselves the time

Don’t you know we are part of the same matter
A couple of stars explode
you and me end up on the same platter
Why can’t we be together doing the same thing
Instead of having this space between us
When we’re playing the same string.

Stars Explode

No big deal, just sending the daughter back to college after winter break.

An homage to the country rock scene of my youth.

Lyrics:

    your bags are packed and by the door
    where they've sat in years before
    i can't count the times we've said goodbye
    well add another tally mark
    to the paper bag around my heart
    cause today again you'll vanish from my eyes

    on the porch we look for phrases
    that we haven't said before
    then we turn and see your carriage has arrived
    now you're going out that gate
    cause your road is running late
    so it's time for me to turn and walk inside

        i hope i see a backward glance and a smile
        but i know that it's past time for you to run
        if we share a little wave goodbye
        then I'll see you on the far side of the sun.

    i know it is our destiny
    to keep connections we can't see
    and I know that this is not our last goodbye
    so now that you are gone away
    I'll find tomorrow from today
    but first i think there's something in my eye

far side of the sun

Leaf On The Water

I've been drifting along like a leaf on the water,
Time slipping away.
Like the bed of the river back home in the city,
Just wearing away.
But the ebb and flow is all I know,
The days fall from the wall.
Tell myself I'm free, but I'm lost out at sea,
With no port of call.

Used to stare at the man who stared back in the mirror,
Wondering who they would be.
Would his conviction be stronger, his eyes see clearer,
Than the boy that was me?
But in time I learned, though the pages turn,
The story stays the same.
No matter what I could change or try to rearrange,
The truth always remains.

Now I walk along the Hudson, head full of nothing,
And watch the river flow.
Think of where it began, the miles that it ran, 
The miles it still has to go.
Despite a change in name from the sea to the rain,
It's all a trick of the mind.
Whether future or past, what will come, what has passed,
Is the illusion of time.

Leaf On The Water

You felt free on the ocean
I was happily stuck in your box of sounds
In my room
Reading notes by candle light
Awash in harmony
And history

Sometimes I could feel your part
In that perfect space you resonate
You make me want to try a new tune
Why not tomorrow?

I think it was you
In the lawn chair
Mustache and long hair
Smiling at Wilco
Not even front row

Song For David

#week3

song prompt-use the word wave

this was an unfinished melody I found in my voice memo records when I was in the summer Maine for a family visit and it was the evening after being at my brother Mark's memorial.

hunter's cove

Lyin here awake
Thinkin ‘bout my day
All the stuff I gotta do yet
and all the junk in the way

this thing wants to be animated   
that one needs a key
this thing is gonna light on fire
all it needs is me

I’ll just sort through my tub of parts
I plan to take them to the grave
After that I’ll screw some things together
shake a bunjee cord into a wave

my head spinnin around
all these things in the queue
7 plasma balls, a toaster
Throw it all in a stew

this thing wants to be set in motion
that one needs a stir
this thing is gonna make some sparks
all it needs is her

Stop the hands of the clock from movin
wanna lose ourselves here in the flow
All day and night our hands be groovin
As we’re gearin’ up now for the show

Thinkin of the day
We let everyone in
All these characters work for a while
Until the tape wears thin

this thing’s over  here bouncin’ around
that one shoots a cloud
this thing’s gonna be shinin’ some light
all it needs is a crowd

Mixolydian Waves

V1: how does it feel
when you can’t find a friend
how does it feel
when your loves at an end
how does it feel 
when you’re swimming upstream
how does it feel
when life’s tearing at the seams

CH: how does it feel, how does it feel
how does it feel, to be the only one 

V2: how do you know
when your time has come
how do you know
when the solo’s done
how do you know
it’s time to set it free
how do you know
it’s as good as it seems

CH: how do you know, oh how do you know
how do you know, 
when you’re the only one 

V3: where do you go, 
when the world gets hard
where do you go 
to get a new start 
where do you go when 
the waves are crashing down 
where do you go
after you leave this town 

CH: where do you go, where do you go
where do you go, when your the only one

CH: How does it feel, how do you know
where do you go, when you’re the only one

Only One

Recluse

Hearing voices might make you wonder if you're going crazy. But what if you
find someone else who's getting the same message?

I wanted to explore a mysterious parasensory experience, in a Lovecraftian
vein, but with the possibility that maybe the mysterious force will turn out
to be the salvation of humanity?

It struck me while writing that finding common experience with another human being is probably at least as valuable as believing that you're not crazy.

Many thanks to Katie Marks for her terrific voice and for playing the
character of the transported academic with such guts and enthusiasm, and
patience!

lyrics

        the song of a thousand voices
        whispers in my ear
        the story it tells is held
        between our hope and our fear

    V1 - he:
    in Jakarta, Odessa, and Istanbul,
    Alexandretta and Bengbu
    i see the same sign and hear the same phrase
    and it's spoken just for me

    in Oaxaca, Colombo, and Abengourou,
    and a jungle-eaten ruin in the north of Peru,
    i hear the same phrase and i see the same sign
    and it's pointing to the sea

        the song of a thousand voices
        whispers in my ear
        i'd like to pretend i don't know how it ends
        and it’s all that i can hear

    V2 - she:
    i built drones to collect all the data
    found the centers of mass in 3D
    connected the mean isothermals - cuz -
    a whale doesn't see what we see

        a literature search turned up nothing
        until i expanded the terms

    by an inclement word i am suddenly stirred
    i delete all my files as my vision is blurred

        the night of a thousand dances
        instantaneously ancient and key
        i know what it means, but i doubt what it seems
        and it's all that i can see

    V3 - he:

    from this ruthless depression i finally woke,
    got a new set of clothes, a good meal, and a smoke
    made my way to this pier and found you standing here;
    do you think it could still be a joke?

        the night of a thousand dances
        brought you here to me tonight
        [both:]
        and though we dive into darkness,
        i know that we go into light

        [she:]
        the song of a thousand voices
        brought you here to me tonight
        [both:]
        and though we dive into darkness,
        i know that we go into light

        [both - he/she:]
        the song of a thousand voices
        brought me here to you tonight
        and though we dive into darkness,
        i know that you know that we go
        into eternal light

a thousand voices

A lullaby for big kids who are feeling February.

I opened "Uncle" Walt Whitman's _Leaves of Grass_ and it went right to the section labeled "SO LONG!", in which he's announcing all things, in his excited and limitless style, and simultaneously saying a parenthetical "(So long!)" as they come, since both he and they will be going just as quickly.

I think this would be nice at my funeral, but no hurry on that.

## lyrics

    i want to lift my heart to the sunset
    i want to rest my eyes on you
    i want to lay me down in the green and brown
    until i sail away in the blue
    i want to hear the choir invisible
    i want to sing without holding back
    i want to say that i was present here
    and there was nothing that i lacked

        i will raise my eyes and i'll raise my voice
        and i'll raise my spirit to you
        i'll see you and raise you another day more
        because this is the way that we do

    i've lost my share of lovers                     
    and i've lost my share of kin
    i've lost my youth to those younger
    but i'd trade it as freely again
    and this good earth has borne me forward
    it's a mystery to me how
    i seem to have gotten away with it all
    i survived my whole life up till now
        
        so i raise my eyes and i raise my voice      
        and i raise my spirit to you
        i'll see you and raise you another day more
        because this is the way that we do
        
    this road was as long as it has been             
    and the map was my feet in the dust
    it passed by fields swelling in summer
    now they're shaven and fading to rust
    it was longer than i had expected
    and shorter than ever i knew
    so long as it brought me this moment
    and so long to me and to you

        now i raise my eyes and i raise my voice     
        and i raise my spirit to you
        i'll see you and raise you another day more
        because this is the way that we do

    so now i lift my heart to the sunset             
    i rest my eyes on you                            
    i lay me down in the green and brown
    then i sail off into the blue
    i can hear the choir invisible
    and i sing...
    i say that i am present here
    i lack for not a thing

        i raise my eyes and i raise my voice
        and i raise my spirit to you
        i'll see you and raise you another day more
        because this is the way
        this is the way
        this is the way that we do

the way that we do

When the earth turns away from the sun
We’ve got static and silence

If I were the first to know you

Don’t know where you found that young face
Or why it seemed like the perfect display

If I were the first to know you
If I were the first to know you

Keeping you at a distance 
Just three chances to know
Three that have stayed so true
Never get old never get old

The evolution of the shell
The question repeats the answer 
Very much in the dark and actually best that way

If I were the first to know you
If I were the first to know you

Keeping you at a distance 
three chances to know
Three that have stayed so true
Never get old 
How could I be this lazy?
Three spins and I know
Three were closest to me 
Never get old never get old

Keeping you at a distance 
three chances to know
Three that have stayed so true
Never get old never get old

Never Get Old

Original song, Blue Mark.

This song started out as a poem that kept me entertained waiting for a bus in Paraguay. It was inspired by a literal blue-ish mark that comes and goes around my left eye. You can sing it to yourself, a friend, a lover, a pet, etc.

Jordache Grant: co-producer

Blue Mark

Accustomed to the hustle culture in the US, I thought the slower moments my Paraguayan neighbors incorporate into their days and the time they have for each other is beautiful. If I start feeling anxious because I’m not being productive or busy enough, it helps me to remember that life has been and is rich on the metaphorical bench slowing down with my ppl.

Big Things

A song about not being able to write a song about it... with a show-don't-tell ending.

Lyrics:

if i put all that's true
about how things are and how they've been between me and you
in a song
they'd all doubt me;
they'd get mad,
and say i was wrong.

chorus:

    because i am not a unicorn,
    and you are not a goddess,
    i guess;
    except i know you are.
    and you and i together
    are not the center of the universe;
    except - 
    that is what we are.

and if i told how it goes
when you walk in the room, and what happens to my toes
in a song -
and i sang it -
to an audience - i wouldn't last too long

when i write this song
i'll try not to ramble on
i have to tell the truth, 
but tell it slantwise or nowise
and i can't talk about your eyes at all...
or maybe i'll just play, after all.

credits:
tjw: classical, electric, and 6- and 12-string guitars, electric bass, ukulele, drum pads, organ, sitar, vocals

not a unicorn

On that particular evening, I realized it was time for my heart to break.  Again.

Is your heart more like a rock, or an eggshell?

Either way, what's inside?

And how will you find out?

lyrics:

    every time your heart breaks,
    it gets a little clearer
    every time your hand shakes
    (whether it’s from fear or anger)
    but you move slowly forward,
    you move closer to your heart:
    your broken heart;
    your broken-open heart
    every time your heart breaks,
    it gets a little clearer

    every time your heart breaks,
    let it break open
    every time your heart breaks,
    feel it! feel it, feel it!
    every time, every time, every time
    so many times—
    who would you be if your heart were constantly
    breaking, breaking open?
    clearly breaking open...
    breaking open clear

    every time my heart breaks,
    it gets a little clearer
    every time my heart breaks,
    it gets a little nearer
    to my real heart...
    and i hope it breaks again, breaks again and again
    yes i hope it breaks again, breaks again and again
    yes i hope it breaks again and again,
    and again and again and again
    because clear is what i want in the end

    every time your heart breaks,
    it gets a little clearer
    every time your heart breaks...

credits:

tjw: Martin D-28 acoustic guitar, bass ukulele, vocals

Additional production by Bob Hutko at Glob Studios. Thanks, Bob!

every time

I perform as a solo singer-songwriter with a guitar, but also like playing with other sounds. I tend to sing about love, loss, transcendence, and the passage of time, but I like songs with humor and "show don't tell." I like (to make and hear) recordings that feel organic but not sloppy, complex but clear, intentional but serendipitous. Finished albums and some singles are for sale on Bandcamp, and available for streaming on Spotify, Apple, Amazon, etc.

2023

timothy john weber