Fuck Off And Die (FINAL DRAFT)

[Music From Clouds]

Wheels

My thoughts have all turned into such a mess 
There's a schism down the middle of my chest
And I'm sorry that we both forgot to see
That I'm not at all who I appear to be

The real bits you saw are all still there
Behind my typical red curtain of despair
And this comfortable facade I tried to be
Just a product of my insecurity

When the future is a dream you had a month ago
And the present's just a hell you'd saved for someone else
My conscience showed up far too late
I missed the mark, I closed the gate
I brought this broken promise on myself

I've stripped my soul down neatly into thirds
But gave out fewer pieces than my words
And now that shit has really hit the fan
I find myself, for once, without a plan

And if going's really what you want to do
I'll close my eyes and try to start anew
Switch off the lights, and lock the doors up, too
But I'll always leave one light left on for you

I'll tell another bold-faced lie
And hopefully my last
I'll say that this is not for you
Whenever you might ask
Of course it is

Chose second place
But tasted first
I hesitate
My bubble bursts
And now I'm limping past the line in third

I told myself that I would just forget you 
Walk away and never break a sweat
But now I'm learning everything the hard way
You're a fucking hard one to forget

I'd call myself a victim of a circumstance
But what a fucking joke that all would be
I enabled all my weakness and entitlement
And circumstance then made a fool of me

I'll tell another bold-faced lie
And hopefully my last
I'll say that this is not for you
Whenever you might ask 
Of course it is

I thought I could protect and serve
But what the hell; I had the nerve
Protect and serve my interests
Over all I ever loved
And now I'm gonna get what I deserve

Ten Ton Tear