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Brutal Serenity

[Spoken intro, CB voice:] “Breaker one-nine, this here's Grandpa Rick. I’m rollin’ down I-40 with a carb-fed brick. Got a line of boomers behind, smellin’ like diesel and Vicks, And I swear if I see one more Volvo—I'm flippin' sticks!”

[Chorus:] 'Cause we got a boomer convoy, rollin' through the night, Rattlin' in a needle-nose Pete, holdin’ that wheel real tight. We got no A/C, but we’re still full of pride, And we cuss out them Volvos every time they glide. C’mon and join our convoy, ain't no comfy ride— Just a jake brake howl and American pride! (Old Pete Pride… ain't got no heated seats!)

[Verse 1:] Well it started out in Tulsa, Uncle Earl was mad, Saw a Volvo truck with a fridge—“That’s just sad!” Said, “Back in '74 we drove through snow barefoot, Now these pampered drivers got espresso and Bluetooth??”

Their dashboards light up like a Vegas strip, But they don’t know a clutch from a potato chip. “Got sensors and screens—where’s the dang gearstick?!” Boomers all agreed, “That ain’t no real rig!”

[Chorus:] Yeah we got a boomer convoy, diesel in our blood, We don’t need no lane assist, just elbow grease and mud. We’re growlin’ down the highway, manual pride intact, Still shiftin’ 18 gears and blowin’ out our backs! Join our cranky convoy, watch us grit our chins— While Volvo boys massage their lumbar in air ride bins! (Old Pete Pride… won’t Bluetooth ya back!)

[Bridge:] They hate them Volvos, but can't say why, Maybe it’s the leather… or how they don’t die. "Back in my day, we had rust and smoke, And that’s how we liked it," they grin and croak.

Ask 'em what's wrong with a truck that’s smooth? They’ll grumble some words like “It ain’t got groove!” But deep down, we think it’s just old-timer lore… ‘Cause comfort in a cab is truckin’ folklore.

[Final Chorus:] So we got a boomer convoy, coughin’ soot and steam, We got one tape deck and a busted high beam. We roll past them Volvos with suspicious eyes, "Real trucks ain’t quiet and they don’t apologize!" C’mon and ride our convoy, it’s loud and it’s mean— But no one knows why we’re so anti-Swedish machine… (Old Pete Pride… powered by spite and beans!)

[Spoken outro, fading CB voice:] “Breaker breaker, any y’all got a spare flywheel for a ’79 359? Volvo passed me… couldn’t even hear it… made me feel feelings. Over.”

Brutal Serenity

TeslaSupreme

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