Dead and gone 
meditation 
Synagogue 
revelation 

Take what's yours
all is mine
steal your thoughts 
steal your mind 

I am your anchor 
Pulling you under

Ghost

It keeps coming back
My condition is permanent 
It happened so fast 
Take everything you want and leave me to rot away 

This is where you left me 
Cold, dead in the void 
This is where you found me 
Remains of what you destroyed

I can't see at all 
I can't see a thing
I can't break these walls 
I can't breathe at all
I can't shake it off
I can't break it down
I can't give it up
I'm losing ground

~~~

I received the Hizumitas heavy fuzz pedal and played around with its various settings for a bit before setting out to do a track documenting my internal struggle with anxiety and PTSD. 

Amygdala

A statement of rejection towards the Right-Wing Evangelical world. 

Dissociation

Written while in a state of self-resentment and distorted sense of gravity around my own shortcomings. 

Deny the Self

Created as the second collaboration with myself and my friend "Web". Deals with the rejection of the expectations of our respective upbringings. 

Shadow (feat. Web)

a place away 
from the tangible
every dream and nightmare
made visceral 

we of the 90s
lab rats of the world
raised by screens' images
condensed to fit the mold

I'll never be free from your created me
I can't untether from digital strings 

the world we know
was shot for us
every lie and frame
was never enough

we the ever-empty
the never gratified 
live for the whim of instants
and now we're dead inside

I'll never be free from your created me
I can't untether from digital strings

who was I to be 
unplugged from machines
the life I'll never have
stolen from me

who were we to be 
unplugged from machines
the lives we'll never have
the things we'll never be

~~

Written in the midst of the end of a 9 year relationship, contemplating the role our lives had been shaped by the digital world around us. First recording featuring my Orange amplifier, and the only without the Marshall layered in too. 

Automated Flesh

the way that I see this
there won't be amends 
I don't want to believe it
but I think it's the end 

blood draining from my face 
cold heart sweat 
the chill in my veins 
denial 

broken trust 
shattered life 
crawl away 
as my dreams die 

from what I'm now hearing 
there's somebody else 
no matter what I say 
you won't come around 

when I look into your eyes 
the love is gone 
"for the rest of our lives"
isn't gonna come 

when you speak to me 
the words aren't yours 
I can't recognize 
who you've become 

go your own way
forget about me 

I didn't stand a chance 
to the feeling of new romance
rejection of what we once were 
and the sight of greener grass 

~~

The longest period of time I have spent working on a song, a result of my life changing and me entering a spiral for a good portion of the following year. First track to feature both amps in tandem, and stylistically a shift towards layered leads and more prominent clean singing being incorporated into the composition. 

shattered

You're the god of your own mind
crowns and castles of clay 
"I hope you found your peace"
Is all I could say 

prescient to
catastrophe 
all alone 
as you should be 

Oh, how to spend one's life asleep 
(psychosis)
underneath these fucking wings? 
(alone)
Oh, your ego needs to feed 
(psychosis)
I hope it's worth losing everything 
(your home) 

cognisence 
is blasphemy 
in your delusion 
heresy 

psychosis 
alone 

is it everything you need,
self-induced psychosis?
have you finally found your peace 
high off your own shit? 

~~

Written spontaneously in frustration towards selfish and egocentric behaviors and attitudes, both external and internal. 

Psychosis

I was born as the leaves
crackled in color for hibernation 
for I am a tree
branches weather with earth's rotation 
clothed in canopy
green, then yellow, then red, then barren 
I know it doesn't mean
the end, just a state of rejuvenation 

one year since it all fell apart
and my roots still burrow beneath 
tethered in the soil I grew from
my form shaking against the breeze

one month since the vascular cambium 
drew a new ring under my skin
light bleeds through the cracks in heaven
and shines through my withered leaves

I watch her paint the landscape 
of every soul as if it were her own
cuts her own hair
her song carries like the winds of Autumn 

glows in radiance 
she heals my splintered limbs
holds the earth beneath 
in her arms, I oppose the gale force 

one year since it all fell apart
and my roots still burrow beneath 
tethered in the soil I grew from
my form shaking against the breeze

one month since the vascular cambium 
drew a new ring under my skin
light bleeds through the cracks in heaven
and shines through my withered leaves

rebirth
weather the storm
return 
convalescent spirit, rise
never again to be Shattered

Senescence

freed from the weight 
that misaligned my form 
healed from this knot 
forever in her warmth 

I feel the pulse of Winter 
it breathes across the skies 
from yellow and red to white and blue

I sing unto the night

are we just mayflies
here for a time?
Night, are we just mayflies? 
left adrift
to contemplate 
the words we never
get to say 

resounding weight 
the permanence of loss 
momentary state 
to dust we all return 

the ravens sing in tandem 
a choir within the wind 
from fallen leaves to piles of mulch
 
commence the rain of night 

are we just mayflies
here for a time?
Night, are we just mayflies? 
left adrift
to contemplate 
the words we never
get to say 

Night 
we
are
just
mayflies
gone
like

falling

rain 

yet
I 
feel 
no 
cold
forever

In

Her

Warmth 




Convalescence

dreamcatcher, my lifeline
my riptide
pull me in
feel the beat of your heart 
in rhythm with mine
 
heart healer, soul divine 
stare into my eyes again 
basking in your ocean 
as our waves collide 

and though we were worlds apart 
the distance closed, our ghosts now one 
and though we were worlds apart 
kaleidoscopic
our lives begun 



Soul Penguin feat. Youngest Child

Heaven's dams now shatter 
rain on this weary husk,
these days of tyranny 

rejuvenate 
for the last time? 
uncertain tomorrow

this broken species 
our roots intertwined 
hatred blinds our sight 

Abba 
where have you gone? 
were you ever truly there? 

pollution cloud linings 
this wasteland, our mother
she's tired of dying, 
my errant faith brothers  
you sell on 
the altar 
and worship 
our killers
you liars 
deceivers 
you sold Rome 
the Savior 

strewn across their foreheads 
printed shade of white 
four words of blasphemy 

can you ring true
if you deny your call
and crush weak?

this broken species 
our roots intertwined 
hatred blinds our sight 

Abba 
where have you gone? 
were you ever truly there? 

pollution cloud linings 
this wasteland, our mother
she's tired of dying
my errant faith brothers  
you sell on 
the altar 
and worship 
our killers
you liars 
deceivers 
you sold Rome 
the Savior 

The amount of blood you shed
could cover the earth
The Light is calling my name 
I've entered rebirth 
 
the flowers bloom 
the ground again grows fertile 
the Spring's breath
begins anew the cycle 
my pedals sprout 
renewed again, immortal 
for where once death
new life in pink and purple

Revolt!

you dwell in darkness 
and hide the light 
masquerader
false breath 

you cast your shadows 
obscure the sun 
suffocator 
abscess 

The amount of blood you shed
could cover the earth
The Light is calling my name 
I've entered rebirth 

desecrate the truth you swore 
your soul to
and 
give yourself 
your 
all 
to 
mammon 

Luminescence

Lo-Fi Sludge/ Doom/ Black Metal/ Noise Rock

Shalva

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