LYRICS

My dick ain’t big but I always leave her soaking

With a ginger mormon boy and boy do I wanna choke him

His three inch pincher, she gives him some red head

I might not rock her shit but sometimes they let me rock the bed.


At least I get my own planet cause I

Planted those seeds

Instead of planting my seed

But on my plantain she feeds


Fucked a nun in missionary

Fucked a bitch in doggy

Fucked a cowgirl in - well actually she fucked me, I got pegged.



Gave some W D

To a 40 year old virgin

But she was way too tight,

I pried her open like a surgeon.



She calls me Heath Ledger

Cause I BROKE her BACK on the MOUNTAIN

She also calls me Bill Cosby

I’m not sure why.


I spend so much at McDonalds

The employees wanna fuck me

Lemme see your shamrock shake

Like the American economy



They call me Big Mac

I use a condiment cause I ain’t dirty

Enough jizz flyin’ around

To make an Oreo McFlurry


Nutella was a girl named Ella

Then she met me

Took a trip to Virginia

And now they call it ia!


My parents told me study hard

I didn’t put up a fight

Now I rep calculus with the left

And pop viagra with my right



Putting my pudding in her puh with my ding

A-ling I think I’m gonna give her a ring

Oh no this ain’t just a fling

She’s doin tricks on my thing

And all while wearing a g-string.



Fucked a clown

Had her squirting from her flower

She was honking my name

For like 3 hours


Yeah she slipped on my banana peel

I pied her in the face

We fucked in her clown car

And went back to her place.



She referred me to her home girl

Who was silent the whole time.

Was she a Himalayan monk?

No, she was a mime!


Now this mime was a freak.

I only paid for one meal

She acted stuck in a box

But I did it for real.



The horse’s name was Friday

They call me that too!

‘Cept a horse has got 10 inches

And I’ve got a respectable two


They say Friday comes too late

Well, I certainly don’t.

Just cracked 10 seconds

Call me Usain Bolt


But I’m always cracking 10s

That ain’t a new occurrence

Just doin’ her a favor

Some service to her cervix



Now I’m always breaking hymens but I’m never getting high, man

Still, I’m high-quality when you use a hyphen. 

I got rhymes and DNA both with incredible timin’ (thymine)

The way I break her nether region

You can call me diamond


Pickaxe, but you’ll never see me pick ass

Cause I’m a tits man breasts always Kick Ass

My dick goes straight to her brain, call me synapse.

She’s addicted to my dic-tion and I think I’ll let her relapse.


The Functional Song

bitches love a juggler

I CANT FUNCTION! I CANT FUNCTION!

The Big Function

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