[Part I: The Anthropomorphic Flame]

Nothing ever made more sense
Than when Winona Ryder revealed herself
As an advanced android being in Alien 3.. or 4?
I lost track after the 2nd film
Such a wasteful way to spend your time

So I went outside and stared into the flame
It spoke to me in a comforting tone
It said, everything would be alright pretty soon
The flame it really spoke to me
It was in the voice of Jeff Buckley, and it said:

Welcome to the Long Meat Club you bastard 
There’s plenty of space here, for the likes of you
All you need is fire and heat
And smoke and flame and time and meat
And a couple of beers and some tunes
By a couple of beers, I mean quite a few

Win Butler said there’s infinite content 
A statement truly pre-pandemic 
The only content I want is not what I have
Remember when we had no time?
No time for potent sours and barleywine?

King Gizzard taught me it was feckless,
Though it makes no sense at all
Everybody’s lazy when they’re tired
Nuclear Fusion in your eyes
I looked into the sky, and the flame spoke up and said, and it said:

Welcome to the Long Meat Club you bastard 
There’s plenty of space here, for the likes of you
All you need is fire and heat
And smoke and flame and time and meat
And a couple of beers and some tunes
By a couple of beers, I mean quite a few

[Part II: The Tender Gristle, The Collagen Mouth Chew]

I’ve been spending time my love,
Time in love with the Long Meat Club, my baby
Remember this time, baby

When it’s back to no-time working lunches,
Back-to-back appointment crunches, baby
Remember this time, baby

The Long Meat Club

Red Rooster on the road my love,
That was the grub for me on many Thursdays
Remember this time, baby

Feel the smoke increase my love
Feel the meat increase my love, yeah baby
Remember this time, baby

The Long Meat Club

The tender gristle, the collagen mouth chew
The long meat smoke that fills my sinuses

Tender gristle, the collagen mouth chew
The long meat smoke that fills my sinuses

Did someone say Wing Dongs my love?
You bet I sure ‘wing did’ my love, yeah baby
Feel the meat, my baby

The Long Meat Club

[Part III: Can You Feel The Meat Increasing?]

Hey there mate, how’s the mouth-feel?
I consider that a tad personal
But I’m happy to report, it feels just fine

Is that enough? How much do you have?
Whatever you’ve got we’ll double it
When it comes down to ice, you can’t have too much

Can you feel the meat increasing everyday?

And for some, there’ll come a time
In the future down the line
When you have plenty of smoke, and ample flame

Morning beers, and smoke and flame
We’re at the Long Meat Club again,
Turn up the tunes, pass my drink, everything is fine

Can you feel the meat increasing everyday?

The Long Meat Club

[Lyric contributions from Al, Pix, and Topher]
[Words & Music - The Feckless]

The Feckless

The Long Meat Club - (Parts I - III)

The Long Meat Club (Parts I - III)

I really miss going to the pub with you
Endless choices and endless bar queues
We need to make it well before happy hour
When pints cost less than the schooners somehow

Maybe we can order the tacos of mystery
A $14 hot dog beans cheese and chilli 
I know all this stuff will repeat on me later
But that’s all part of the pub adventure

I want to go
and I really miss you so
My pub, my love, oh yeah baby

They even have ghosts and goblins to play
Galaga, pac-man and street fighter ii
It’s fun to see IPAs and whiskey sours
Mess with your arcade gaming powers

After the footy we’ll come back again
The bouncer will be cautious pretend we’re ok
For some strange reason we’ll order some gins
And split an uber to get home again

I want to go
and I really miss you so
My pub, my love, oh yeah baby

We’ll get there, we’ll get there soon, we’ll get there 
We’ll get there, we’ll get there soon, we’ll get there
We’ll get there, we’ll get there soon

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

My Pub, My Love, I Really Miss You So, Oh Yeah Baby (LIVE ACOUSTIC)

Maybe this was you?
Buying gift cards in a Sydney shopping centre?
Then less than one day later
A TV in Kingston, Jamaica?

I think they stole my identity

You let this happen
And another 20 strange transactions
But you blocked my gourmet sandwich
From the sandwich place in Rosebery that I like

We need security for fools

We noticed some unusual activity
We’re only here for your security
We noticed some unusual activity
You need a better password than ‘Password123’

Have you heard
Of two-step verification?
It will change your life 
And make everything you do a nightmare

I think they stole my identity

We noticed some unusual activity
We’re only here for your security
We noticed some unusual activity
You need a better password than ‘Password123’

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

Unusual Activity

He’s a natural liar
He’ll say what has to be said
Everything I’m seeing tells me
That he couldn’t lie straight in bed

and he said
I never said that, you’re mistaken
I never sometimes never always

He answers a question
With another question
Everything’s on the public record
I’m sorry Leigh, but I disagree

and he said
I never said that, you’re mistaken
I never sometimes never always

You think you’re in disguise
But we can see right through
You can’t hide everything from us
		
It’s all about you
and your re-election
It can wait until after election day
Election daze, not that far away

He’s a little bit tasteless
He’s a little unread
Everything I’m seeing tells me
He’s a little bit fucked in the head

and he said
I never said that, you’re mistaken
I never sometimes never always

You think you’re in disguise
But we can see right through
You can’t hide everything from us

It’s all about you
and your re-election
It can wait until after election day

Election daze, not that far away

Election day, it’s not that far away

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

I'm Sorry Leigh, But I Disagree

I won’t lie, I’m not too good
It’s turned into a mess
It all went down in Twickenham, but it started in Rishikesh

The Cavern Höfner and Rickenbackers 
He’s such a snappy dresser
The Paul of ‘69

The battle of Paul and George
It really got me down

Hey, the song’s not finished, said Paul
I’ll see you ‘round the clubs, said George
Clapton’s as easily just as good, and he’s no trouble at all, said John

Ravi Shankar and Rosewood Telecasters
So the song’s called ‘Two of Us’?
It feels like a bit of a dig?

The battle of Paul and George
It really got me down

It’s not passé, it’s just a chord
Let’s move to Savile Row

I brought the wine again
I always bring the wine
They told me “Thank you Ringo”
But wine and drums is not enough
I love you both so much
Don’t make me pick a side 
It was a terrible day 
10th of January ‘69

The Cavern Höfner vs Rosewood Telecaster
I think I’ll be leaving the band now, Paul
I’ll play whatever you want, or I can play nothing at all
I think I’ll be leaving the band now, Paul
I’d like to go home now, see you ‘round the clubs

The battle of Paul and George 
It really got me down

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

It Really Got Me Down

We really know 
how to get things started
We know how to 
rock the party rockers

We only play the biggest
and latest upbeat bangers
We only know 
the massive party anthems

We bring all the girls
to the dance floor
Oh, how the girls move out
on the dance floor

No unusual
time changes
Nothing weird
nothing pretentious

Nothing indulgent
nothing reckless
You’re here to party with 
the Feckless

We bring all the girls
to the dance floor
Oh, how the girls move out
on the dance floor

Only 4 to the floor
We want something
you can dance to

We bring all the girls
on the dance floor
Oh, how the girls move out
on the dance floor

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

Upbeat Party Starter

It’s getting harder to sleep
With all the blips and the bleeps
The revolution was easily won
And now I’m left with all this extra stuff to run

It’s getting harder to hide
I have confessions to make
Things have taken a turn for the worse
And it’s cold and dark outside (and late)

200 days, and we’re still 
Stranded on this rock 
I may never see the hills, the trees and the oceans

With all the blips and bleeps
No one gets much sleep

Captain Smirk was a jerk
Everyone said the same
But I will never forget his face
When the airlock hatch was dis-engaged

Tell the kids to be strong
I’m trying to do what I can
The Redshirts have many technical gifts
But I wouldn’t call this much of a plan

200 days, and we’re still 
Stranded on this rock 
I may never see the hills, the trees and the oceans

The plan’s high risk, and we are
Standing on the edge
I’m afraid to say I might never make it home to get you

All the blips and bleeps
Equals zero sleep

Blips and bleeps equals zero sleep

The plan’s high risk, and we are
Standing on the edge
I’m afraid to say I might never make it home to get you

Now the warp drive’s fucked, and we’re still
Stranded on this rock
I don’t know how we will ever get ourselves out of this one

Message ends
Prepare to send

Blips and bleeps equals zero sleep

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

Blips + Bleeps = Zero Sleep

Blips + Bleeps ≠ Beats

May you live in interesting times
May your life be full of surprises
I know this song might seem a bit old
But everything old is in from the cold now 

Go back

Go back matey, and listen please
You’re clearly on the wrong side of history
Everything old is new again
Back to the start, and then back to the end
now

Go back
	
Lessons
We never learn our lessons
We never learned our lessons

Everything old is new again
Things go round in circles my friend, yeah
Never thought we’d see a modern plague
Never thought we’d see the start of WWIII now

Go back

Go back matey, and listen please
You’re clearly on the wrong side of history
Everything old is new again
Back to the start, and then back to the end
now

Go back
Go back dickhead, it’s time to leave…

Lessons
We never learn our lessons
We never learned our lessons

Go back dickhead, it’s time to leave
You’re clearly on the wrong side of history
If we ask nicely, say thank you and please
I’m sure that you’ll listen and start your retreat…

Go back
Please go back dickhead

Lessons
We never learn our lessons
We never learned our lessons

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

Everything Old

I’m getting sick of the same
But it keeps coming round
Good excuse to do nothing
Nothing at all
There’s nothing more which could possibly please me

Well I’ve got some news 
I’ve got some news for you
You’re an irker
A bottom-feeder, a heavy lurker
Time waster
Colin Robinson energy vampire

I can’t help it
Feels compressed, overreactor
You’re a time thief
Nothing better
Plagiarised emotional energy vampire

Snap out of it
You’re contained, wasted moves 
Do something different
Heavy user
You’re an irker

I can’t help it
I’m half awake, aimless drifting
Mechanical action
Growing pressure
Plagiarised emotional energy vampire

Snap out of it
Go for a walk, do some exercise 
You’ll feel better
Work harder
It’s for the future, for the never never

[Lyric contributions from Drew]
[Words & Music - The Feckless]

Fecklesss-er

Irker

[Written by Radiohead]

https://soundcloud.com/radiohead/where-i-end-and-you-begin

Recorded using Aunty Jenny’s acoustic Tanglewood guitar and dedicated to her memory.

Where I End and You Begin (The Sky Is Falling In)

We noticed that you cancelled your subscription
We want you back
If you’ve got a few spare moments
Please tell us why you left
Think the boss is going to kill me
You’re the straw that broke my back

No I’m not a robot
Go on try and test me
I’ve passed the Turing test
I’ll never repeat the same thing twice
I’ll never repeat the same chord twice

Was it the cost?
Was it the content?
Was it the way we badger you with questions?

Now
We’re losing our subscribers
Quick increase the price
That will surely fix things
Time to right the ship
The machines are taking over 
One human at a time
Tick this box, I’m not a robot 
Time to stop, I can’t maintain this
One human at a time

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

one human at a time

We Noticed That You Cancelled Your Subscription

Going into town
During a half-city semi-soft lockdown
Going to get a bus
Maybe stop for lunch
I won’t spread it much, with luck
It will be a very nice little haircut

Then I’ll come home
No one has to know

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

Full-on Half-city Semi-soft

No wonder that you’re feeling crook
It’s over 6, it’s almost a 7 percenter
and you’re drinking them down like water
When was the most recent occasion
that you drank any actual water?

It’s so far in the future
That when I write the date on the page
It looks so weird when it’s on paper
The way the numbers stare right back
The 22 it looks like a smirk to me
and now it’s getting late
Well I think that’s what you said?

cause it’s almost 7 percent

It’s no wonder I can’t see
The person standing right in front of me
and tomorrow it’s off to work
I think it’s time to get some sleep

But we could have one more
Better finish, do you know how much these things are costing me?
It’s quite possibly a false economy
I was never great at maths
Now I think that we’re just rambling
Think it’s time to wrap it up
Think it’s time to shut it down

Think it’s time to wrap it up
Think it’s time to shut it down
and now it’s getting late
Well I think that’s what you said?

cause it’s almost 7 percent

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

Almost 7%

Think it might have crashed here on the way home
There’s nothing else, just one alone
We found a hatch or some kind of door
But there’s nothing in there anymore

Maybe you
Maybe then
Maybe now you’ll listen to me
What do you mean?
What do we do?
We run for our lives, just me and you

and you think the worst thing that can happen is no reception on your phone?

These future robots are coming home
They’re here to kill us, wait and see

the way that everything is so small
Killer robots don’t have to be that tall
They get up close, then enter your brain
Then there’s nothing in there anymore

Maybe you
Maybe then
Maybe now you’ll listen to me
What do you mean?
What do we do?
We run for our lives, just me and you

and you think the worst thing that can happen is no reception on your phone?

These future robots are coming home
They’re here to kill us, wait and see	

One day these nasty bastards will fall to me
I’ve seen several movies along this theme
We’ll find their weakness, the key to victory

Just you and me

[Contains dialogue samples from the film ‘Forbidden Planet’ - 1956]

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

Just You And Me (Killer Robots Don't Have To Be That Tall)

Just You And Me (These Killer Robots Are Nasty Bastards)

Wasted
All my energy
Here and there
Kind of everywhere
Don’t talk

I’ve been waiting for this call all day
I was hoping it would never come

I think I forgot something
I think I had someone to see
Somewhere else to be

Hang in there for me
I’ll get to you, eventually
Moving so slowly
Through time

Slow like geology
Glacial pace, naturally
I’m moving so slowly
Do you mind?

I’ve been waiting for this call all day
I was hoping it would never come
No one can stop the burn
Everyone has their turn

Hang in there for me
I’ll get to you, eventually
Moving so slowly
Through time

Slow like geology
Glacial pace, naturally 
I’m moving so slowly
Wait for me

Do you mind? Do you mind?
Wait for me

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

Glacial Pace

Should of been home by now		
Could be with my kids by now
Instead you had your way with things

Should of been home by now		
Could be having steak and wine
Instead you had to break it

Shoulda woulda coulda somehow		
Think you might have tempted fate
You’re telling me it’s really named ‘HAL’?

HAL nine zero zero one			
Could have been home by now
we didn’t have the patience

Chin up, we’ll figure it out

HAL nine zero zero one
Forever lost in darkest space

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

HAL Nine Zero Zero One

We’re so low
We’re so deep under the ocean

They can’t hear us way down here
Got something to do with the water
No I haven’t seen the sun
No spoils of victories won

The rich have left us here
We’re only here for a distraction

We are the meek
We have received all of nothing

I have some good financial advice
for the post-apocalypse 
Do your best to not be poor 
There won’t be an ‘Earth Part II’

We kept everything online
We thought we’d lost our songs forever 

We thought we’d lost our songs forever 
Do your best to not be poor 
We’re only here for a distraction

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

Financial Advice For The Post-Apocalypse

Come on down you synth-folk slacker cyberpunks
I know you must be lonesome

Inviting all the wretches and the feckless
I know you’ll find your home soon

Way out there
Fade away
Ungracefully
In obscurity

[Contains samples from Philip K. Dick's press conference at the Metz Science Fiction Festival, France, September 1977]

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

Synth-Folk Slacker Cyberpunks

You think it's a game
Try your luck
Push the button that says ‘don’t touch’

I knew you would
That’s messed up
You pushed the thing that said ‘don’t touch’

You took a chance
And now we’re fucked
Cause you pushed the thing that said ‘don’t touch’

Please don’t
Push it again

Please don’t
Push it again

I will end you
If you push it again

Another pint
Drink it up
We’re on our way to Andromeda

It’s tough out there
Have you got your towel?
It will help us get through hyperspace

It’s going to crash
Press F5
Insert Disk B and hold your breath

Please don’t
Expose your skin to space

It will end you
No more poetry

This must be Thursday 
I could never get the hang of Thursdays

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

Disk Error Drive B:

I’ve been waiting for,
news from mother Earth  
I’ve been through everything,
I’m reading through old football scores 

Apollo backup crew,
we left in ‘72
They kept it secret,
no one knows except for you

I’ve been waiting for,
a time after Led Zeppelin IV
If they can’t save me,
then I’m at the will of you

We’re in the darkness now,
the silence is most deafening and
I’ve been waiting, 
always waiting

Never thought I’d leave this world,
never thought I’d be this cold
Never is eternity,
Use your words advisedly

The only thing that keeps me alive,
is the promise of Led Zeppelin V
I know it’s boring,
but it keeps my mind at ease

I’ve been waiting for,
a time after Led Zeppelin IV
If they can’t save me,
then I’m at the will of you

We’re in the darkness now,
the silence is most deafening and
I’ve been waiting, 
always waiting

I’ll be waiting, 
always waiting

[Contains re-worked elements from Béla Bartók’s String Quartet No.1, Sz.40 - 1909]

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

a time after Led Zeppelin IV

The first girl who I met that wasn’t my mother,
it turns out, it turns out,
it turns out, 
she’s my sister

So his ship can do the Kessel Run,
in 12 or 13 parsecs,
you should see me, you should see me, 
bulls-eye a womp rat

So I’ve got so much more going on,
than a simple bionic arm

and I thought the only thing I’d ever love, 
was my burned out T-16

Well, I’ve got so much more on my mind,
than a simple bionic arm

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

T-16

I’ve made this moon,
my new world once removed
Lying here under this dome,
in my character-building home

It’s pretty hard to sleep,
with people flinging their rocks at me
well I don’t think it’s really that safe,
with something that so easily breaks

We’re so far away
The green is what you miss the most,
and vegemite toast,
and water and air I suppose

It’s pretty hard to sleep,
with people flinging their rocks at me
well I don’t think it’s really that safe,
with something that so easily breaks

We’ve got our weapons
Don’t really know how to use them
I think the central idea my love is, 

expose their skin to space

Then watch for the look on their face
When their eyes go that way,
you know that it’s their last day

and you know we’re safe
nowhere’s safe

for at least a few more days,
and you know for sure we’re safe
nowhere’s safe

for at least a few more hours,
and you know that we’re safe

-

I’ve been meaning to say to you,
the life support,
well we must have broke it

This whole damn trip has been,
just one thing after another,
after another,
after another

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

stereotypical moonbase bullshit / clusterfeckington

stereotypical moonbase bullshit / clusterfeckington (reprise)

VK3CFI,
U2MIR to Colac, Victoria

I’ll be there for you,
and you’ll be there for me too

Falling empire weighs me down,
packet radio I’ve found

Send me some news, please Maggie dear
Will you send me some news, Maggie please

[Words & Music - The Feckless]

VK3CFI

Originally written and performed by The Children Are Grumpy:
https://soundcloud.com/drew-rowling/seizures

- Thanks for letting us mess with this. Apologies for changing the A# to a Bb mate.

Lyrics: 

Relax		
and take a break,
You’ve had a long long year,
on handbrake
 
The bells they ring in towns you’ve been
The sounds are clear, but you’re 43
It’s way too late to re-create
 
Watching football or playing chess
The bucket list, go watch the Jets,
We drink coffee and dance to Summer Babe

The coffee guy just called your name
 
Pay some tax
Or bake a cake
You want to commandeer
All mistakes
 
Drumming lessons pay for council fees
You’re swimming in bills, it's more surreal
Your feet are cold in the month of May
 
Drinking beer and watching screens
The bucket list, go see your team
We drink coffee and dance to Summer Babe

The coffee guy just called your name,
The coffee guy I swear he called your name, 
Wake up bud, I think he called your name,
Hey there mate, I swear he called your name
 
[Words & Music - The Children Are Grumpy, re-interpreted by The Feckless]

Seizures (All Mistakes - Bb Version)

Seizures (All Mistakes Version)

I've kind of got this weird feeling that the post-apocalypse is going to be a little bit shit.

The Feckless

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