mix x

‼️

ON STOCK

stream on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0bawM83DKPc6x34fbSouE7?si=c9817a13a32349a5

too many issues i cant solve emmm
thanks 4 everything, really proud of this song i hope yall like it lol

lyrics:
you say its for the best,
but i feel way too stressed.
i swear that im losing sight
of what i do best
i wanna be right
yeah well im obssessed
its bad that i lie...
but theres stuff i cant confess

ive been down and so hopeless
im losing my focus
i hope i can show this
my life is so bogus
my career is tanking
everythings taking
a dangerous route

i, want, you to tell me
cus ur the last damn person that im needing to please
and your eyes say no but i can see all your greed
im an asshole addict with tendencies to grieve
i hate the person im becoming
i swear its natural but i feel like its evil
ive been losing focus in the sight of my dreams
i wanna turn back time but i dont think i can leave

take another step forward, i wish that i could step more
i try to turn around to face the problems but i get bored
they tell me im a monster in disguise without a big roar
seeing all my friends going up wish i could get more

and everyone around wants me to change myself
ive been stuck up in the clouds where i cannot find help
ive been dragged inside the mud and ive been down in hell
and really i have not been feeling all too well

i, want, you to tell me
cus ur the last damn person that im needing to please
and your eyes say no but i can see all your greed
im an asshole addict with tendencies to grieve
i hate the person im becoming
i swear its natural but i feel like its evil
ive been losing focus at the sight of my dreams
i wanna turn back time but i dont think i can leave

i, want, you to tell me
cus ur the last damn person that im needing to please
i, want, you to tell me
cus ur the last damn person that im needing to please

issues prod siemspark & ayoley

ericdoa - likewise cover (reprod me and inci0)

fighting a losing battle

produced and performed by me
heavily inspired by @t0rr
thank you sm for helping me @angelus7k <3

i been holding long
and i suck at telling feelings, from my songs
never had the proper mental, i been feeling gone

i remember all the times u just did me wrong
and you put me down for way too long

and its gone in a moment's notice
im so jaded, i can't focus
writing songs, to make an opus
i been feeling lost, for way too long

take me by your hand
fore it all just fades to black
insincerity, runs past me
and it's karma, karma, karma

when all is lost, what can you do?
pack it up, and say it's screwed
left in the past tense, and i'm confused
say u hate me, was i misconstrued

all the stepping stones
and i broke my hope
feeling lost and feeling hopeless
i guess karma's got a hold of me

karma

https://open.spotify.com/album/2GyV2OBCCdIOR2bjv8RXwY?si=rRQJRtJ_Rgqx-FHTLeLEog
https://open.spotify.com/album/2GyV2OBCCdIOR2bjv8RXwY?si=rRQJRtJ_Rgqx-FHTLeLEog
https://open.spotify.com/album/2GyV2OBCCdIOR2bjv8RXwY?si=rRQJRtJ_Rgqx-FHTLeLEog
inhale your toxins i don't want to
(want to go)
why can't i make what i want to
(want to know!)
i think i found the answer i needed
(what i needed!)
all i need to do is say how i'm feeling
and i sayyy
like what the fuck is going onnn
(going on!)
why is everything going wrong
i don't know why i feel this way
i cant live like this for another dayy
like what the fuck is going onnn
why is everything going wrong
i don't know why i feel this way
i cant live like this for another dayy

for another dayy

covering my ears like la la la
i don't want to hear you talk if its bad news
you should talk to me cause i'm just like you
i don't even know how i keep going on
cause it keeps piling up
keeps piling up
doing nothing as i fall asleep
i don't wanna go back
(i don't wanna go back)
cause it's honestly just too much for me
inhale your toxins i don't, want to
(want to go!)
why can't i make what i want to
(want to know!!)
i think i found the answer i needed
(what i needed!)
all i need to do is say how i'm feeling
and and i sayy
like what the fuck is going onnn
(going on!)
why is everything going wrong
i don't know why i feel this way
i cant live like this for another dayy
like what the fuck is going onn
why is everything going wrong
i don't know why i feel this way
i cant live like this for another dayy

stream

what i needed

Esper

( i love you ) 

ima hide my voice 
that’s how ima hide the pain yeah 
remnants of myself they keep 
spilling out the container 
and i can’t contain it yeah 
no i can’t contain it 
and this like the fifth time 
that i realized i don’t know myself 
and even if i did i cant live right 
without your help
if i can’t breathe your air 
then i don’t want it 
been thinking bout the other me 
i fuckin lost em 
and i know i can’t commit to shit 
that’s who i am yeah 
i hyperventilate when nobody’s around yeah 
and nobody’s around 
i’m better in the ground

compulsive.

escape from hell

prod. ilytwelve 
( immernesis remix ) - abbot
i dont give a fuck
you wont understand what i want 
it's too much 
ive done lost so much 
couldn't even count em up
this shit aint new to me 
i say that truthfully 
im sick in the brain 
i feel it flow through my veins 
but that shit aint new to me 
nah that shit aint new to me

neurotic

Get back 
I don’t want nobody who could make me feel like that 
“Don’t Call”
In your contacts 
You left your prescriptions 
Now you’re coming over, a contradiction 
But really we not new to it 

Last time you was telling me I talk to much about it 
Now you’re telling me to say sum’n?
If it’s not a problem 
You gon make one 
Tryna start it over
Selling page one 

Not coming back
Funny as hell
Hoping you enjoy yourself 
Now you outside screaming 
I don’t need your help
Now you outside 
Hoping you not lost without it 

Baby I don’t wanna be your lover
You don’t really want no love 
Tryna work it out I doubt it 
You not showing out enough 
All we do is, screaming, shouting 
Baby have we danced enough?
You can see it all surrounding 
I just had to beat your punch 

Who that, who you taking me (for)
Bad line, whatchu say to me 
Long nights, she won’t wait for me
Sweet talker, you savory
I can’t keep fighting myself 
I see you crying as well

and I could sit around 
But I’m better than you told me
It ain’t a problem being lonely 
I tow the line with myself 
And cut the ties with you 
I ain’t walking back to this hell 

I was lying whichu 
Told me I’m a bastard
That’s how you felt 
You say you hate getting mad and baby
We couldn’t tell 
You telling me I’m the problem really
You shouldn’t yell
Preeing ya hands at the table baby
That’s show and tell

Who that, who you taking me (for)
Bad line, whatchu say to me 
Long nights, she won’t wait for me
Sweet talker, you savory
I can’t keep fighting myself 
I see you crying as well

savory (KBL)

"petrichor" - the distinctive, earthy smell of rain in the air — sometimes detectable before any rain has fallen.

oh i know it sounds insane 
to say 
it seems okay to 
fill your place with time 
oh 
and the days pass 
through my gaze
as i wander 
straight through the slaughter
you made
was all of it worth it now?
and i won’t accept my fate 
the weeds overgrown
but im one step away 
from the good in this place 
so hold on.

petrichor

A life full of charm 01: Bare the loss

the least i do is try to try
ignore the fade away from the corner of my light
Stuck within limbs and bones
Another passenger arrived

Stupid girl who has a lot to learn
cant pick and choose what you'd prefer
and make mistakes that leave their mark in the dirt
I can only hope im with the odds
permanent care or none
if it goes there i couldnt bare the loss

sometimes im scared of what we'd become
of course i miss u when ur gone
imagining im sitting by you its a one on one
its not the same through the phone 
i dont know where u came from
and i dont know where we'll go

whyd u fit the other side so well
make me believe we'll be alright
you've been my favorite thing no doubt 
uh huh hahaha
im deadset cus theres nobody like
baby you're my best friend for life 
lets go far out, lets go now

i'm trying to find something to follow
whether i would believe it or not
so if one of us happens to die tomorrow
we can keep more than memories to comfort us
okay i mainly hate the waiting when its so long
and then for once i didnt want the time to spare
i know that nothing guarentees i'll have some good luck
but if i go with u i would feel safe no matter where
i'd burn out every light and just trek along
or if u decide ur done liking me after all
they dont get it like i get it 
so mean and treat it like a joke
moving on from the out 

we speak quietly
putting me right to sleep
and im so sorry im not there
i shouldnt be afraid of it irrationally 
as long as u dont confirm fears
i wait for the minute u might not like
it comes apparent i'm just stuck i should let it go i was unprepared i was...
awake in the middle of the night because
we've been apart its not fair

whyd u fit the other side so well
make me believe we'll be alright
you've been my favorite thing no doubt 
uh huh hahaha
im deadset cus theres nobody like
baby you're my best friend for life 
lets go far out, lets go now
awake in the middle of the night 
because i like the way you keep me up
and who could blame me when i'm dreaming bout us
awake in the middle of the night because you call my name i think u must sleep talk or maybe u were dreaming bout us

Bare the loss

Credits://
@bodygaard
@tekea

Notes://
i don't have much to say its late...
just finished watching Dune 2...
great movie...

Lyrics://
yeah you found me
i get uh too rowdy
too uhh
too loudly
how far i’ve come ohhh

i’ll take you out
whatchu wanna do now
afraid, tune out
i wish i only knew how

been weeks you ain’t come around
when i empty out my house
meet me where we’d go hideout
please don’t leave me upside down

i miss come right now
please don’t leave me upside down

if only i picked up my phone
told me i skipped us like stones
hold me i tripped up i know
slowly i ripped up my wrong

everyday
you’ll still be my everything
you’ll still be my everything
i’d buy you bout anything a wedding ring oh

so even if i cannot weep
will you still be right for me?

she wanna be item
drew a heart round my name when she writing

Upside★Down (prod. tekea)

prod. mucisian & heavnsnt

(Intro - heavnsnt)

Now I'm really afloat, I'm bout to get it started
I'm branching out my patterns, And get my own apartment
Don't care about the short term, Just put care in this Journey
I know I'm not okay, But the music just consumes me

I did this to myself
I did this to myself
I did this to myself
I did this to my-

(Verse - heavnsnt)

I had to fight for it all
There was one night I would fall
I had to push down the walls
To make the buzzing thoughts stop

I had to breathe thru it all
What was your name? Don't recall
I had to make through the call
to manifest the windfall

(Hook - heavnsnt)

Beehive, with a pot of gold
I got it struck so sweet, turning honey to mold
Gotta keep on pushing, cos I'm over the road
I've been making beats like a Granulation Honeycomb

Beehive, with a pot of gold
Got it struck so sweet, turn that honey to mold
Been Buzzin off make my own shit, it's what I'm used to
When I create with my DAW got a different preview

(Verse - heavnsnt)

afloat, I'm bout to get it started
I'm branching out my patterns, And get my own apartment
Don't care about the short term, Just put care in this Journey
I know I'm not okay, But the music just consumes me

I did this to myself
I did this to myself
I did this to myself
I did this to my-

(Verse - mucisian)
Man down, don't be coming 'round I'm exhausted
Hit me up with messages and then get no responses
If you just had a sense that was common, you'd find out
You're not the girl that I wanted

I don't think she understands me
And I don't think it's real it can't be
But I won't pay the cost this time
Don't tell anybody you're a friend of mine

(Outro - heavnsnt, mucisian)

Beehive, with a pot of gold
I got it struck so sweet, turning honey to mold
Gotta keep on pushing, cos I'm over the road
I've been making beats like a Granulation Honeycomb

Beehive, with a pot of gold
Got it struck so sweet, turn that honey to mold
Been Buzzin off make my own shit, it's what I'm used to
When I create with my DAW got a different preview

beehive (w/ mucisian)

Credits://
@lizablaise
@prodelxnce
@pandi
@umru
@bodygaard

Notes://
a hostage to work...
a hostage to friends...
a hostage to you...

Lyrics://
peace of mind
fall alone
only i can see
maybe i
don’t want you to know me

hey like what’s the matter
you’re the storm i never weathered
yeah you wronged me
i’m sorry don’t say that you want me

it’s no wonder i can’t let go
tied up tryna rope me in
i wish someone let me know that
i’d be alone again
i’ve been complacent in my own hostage situation
it’s no wonder i can’t let go
tied up tryna rope me in

peace of mind
fall alone
only i can see
maybe i
don’t want you to know me

hey like what’s the matter
you’re the storm i never weathered
yeah you wronged me
i’m sorry don’t say that you want me

lugging deadweight, 
dont wanna wrestle- burn the hole in my face
if its a caveat for crisis- i dont know when it ends
wrong way,
i've had enough but i'm still holding the gate
should i still give what it takes

nothin i can do for getting under your skin
settle down on loose ends, whatever
weeks under the weather got me
burned out for nothing
just say you want something 
do or don't need somebody