3/25/11 - topics include Suckerpunch, GE, american apparel

The National Toilet Podcast #1

Friday April 1, 2011. Topics include Abercrombie & Fitch, Kaba, Arnold Schwarzenegger The Governator, Britney Spears, Government Shutdown 

The National Toilet Podcast #2

It’s time once again for the National Toilet Weekly Podcast!
Episode 3: Friday April 8, 2011

Hello everybody and welcome to The National Toilet, the podcast where we take the worst of society and flush it down where it should go. We have The Smithsonian for the best, why not the National Toilet for the…?

Hello?! Ladies and Gentlemen, The National Toilet is one of the first victims of the US Government Shutdown!! (Boo, lights match) That’s right folks, as of this recording the US Government will begin to shut itself down tonight at midnight, barring some kind of last minute deal, which seems more and more unlikely. There’s plenty of blame to be passed around for this fiasco. The Democrats were too scared to pass a budget when they still had the majority, and now Republicans have stubbornly refused any and all compromise – preferring to seize the moment to push their far right agenda by cutting all funding from the Arts and Planned Parenthood. Museums such as The Smithsonian and The National Toilet will begin to shut their doors immediately, followed by other less important sectors of the government such as Medicare and National Traffic Safety. Some 800,000 workers will be affected, threatening the country’s fragile economic “recovery.” The last time the government shut down in 1995, also due to Republican shenanigans, it cost almost a billion dollars. And, while U.S. soldiers engaged in wars around the globe would quickly begin to receive IOUs for their service, the millionaires in the US Senate will still be receiving their paychecks.

And while we’re on the subject of the Government, also in the shitter this week is The Supreme Court. In one of the most heartless decisions in its history, the Court, led by scumbags Clarence Thomas and Antonin Scalia, ruled that a man wrongly imprisoned for 18 years by prosecutors who deliberately withheld evidence, was due no compensation for his wrongful detention. Thomas and Scalia, already known as the most corrupt and soulless shills ever to serve on the Bench reached a new low with this decision, basing the decision on minor technicalities instead of a human being.

In movie theaters this week, Your Highness opens. The film, whose humorous concept begins and ends with its title, helps Academy Award winner Natalie Portman and Academy Award nominee James Franco continue their short spiral into ineptitude by donning codpieces, horrible accents and agreeing to star in this clunky comedy in the first place, which has some critics wondering if it’s not the worst movie ever. The Hollywood Reporter said the movie falls into such “a deep chasm of such comic lowness after less than five minutes that it's unable to extricate itself.” Well, guess what – we’ve got your deep chasm right here! (flush)

And, lastly, some GOOD News. Fox announced this week that Glenn Beck will be “Tranisitioning off” the cable news station! Paranoid, ultra-right winger and race-baiter Beck will be ending his hate filled diatribe of a show later this year. With his radio show losing stations, crowds at his public appearances dwindling, and his book and movie projects tanking, we are hoping that 2011 is when we finally give him the final transition…!

Well, that’s about it for this week’s edition of The National Toilet! Will we still be in the dark next week, or will those asshole scumbags finally figure out a way to get their shit together and turn the power back on! Until then!





The National Toilet Podcast #3

It’s time once again for the National Toilet Weekly Podcast!
Episode 4: April 15, 2011
Hello everybody, and welcome to The National Toilet – the podcast where we take the worst of society and flush it down where it should go. We have The Smithsonian for the best, why not The National Toilet for the worst?

First of all, I have good news! As you can tell, The US Budget has been funded for the rest of the fiscal year! In the 11th hour, Democrats and Republicans reached a “compromise”. The National Toilet is open for business!

Now, the bad news: This so-called compromise has sold the poor, middle class, and environment down the river. $38 Billion in budget cuts, five times larger than any cuts in history. Receiving the axe were cuts to public health ($1B)
The EPA ($1.6B) and high-speed rail projects ($2.9B).  One of the few areas to receive an actual increase? Defense spending is up $5B to $513B. And the fun isn’t over – Coming next month, the US will hit its debt ceiling, threatening its credit rating and solvency unless another “compromise” is reached. Will the US credit go in to the National Toilet? Stay tuned and find out.

Now let’s turn to other matters. In the shithole this week – Johnson & Johnson. This week they ordered yet another recall of one of their products. 57,000 bottles of a popular epilepsy drug because of a strange chemical odor.  This brings the total number of recalls to 22, and the number of bottles to over 300 million. 

And as the race for President 2012 begins to heat up, one turd has emerged as a potential candidate. Donald Trump! This failed businessman with the strangest hair this side of Rod Blagojevich, has been upping the rhetoric recently, sparking rumors that he will run, and pumping up ratings for Celebrity Apprentice. The Donald has made a point of questioning Barack Obama’s birth certificate, keeping this non-issue front and center in voter’s minds. This week, Trump blamed “The Blacks” for the election of Obama. We are not going to wait for him to announce his candidacy to (Flush)

And over in Hollywood – trashy literature collides with shlocky Hollywood to produce Atlas Shrugged Part I, the long delayed project written by hack novelist Ayn Rand, who railed against Government and Socialism while secretly taking Medicare and Social Security payments. The Washington Post surmised by saying the movie “is nearly as stilted, didactic and simplistic as Rand's free-market fable.” Speaking of stilted, didactic and simplistic, the movie is being marketed towards the “Tea Party” whose childlike interpretations of The Constitution easily jibe with Rand’s idiocy. Even if this movie doesn’t tank, it is going into the septic tank! (Flush)

Oops – we’re just about out of time again! Tune in next week for another edition by watching on our YouTube Channel – TheNationalToilet, subscribing to the podcast in iTunes, and Like-ing us on Facebook.  Thank you everybody and good night!




The National Toilet Podcast #4

It’s time once again for The National Toilet Weekly Podcast!
Episode 5 – Friday April 22, 2011
Hello, everybody and welcome to The National Toilet, the podcast where we take the worst of society and flush it down where it should go. We have The Smithsonian for the best, why not The National Toilet for the worst?

First up in The Toilet – The Nation’s mood. A recent NY Times/CBS Poll shows that Americans level of pessimism and anxiety to be at their highest levels in two years. The percentage of Americans who think the economy has gotten worse has risen 13% in one month. Seventy-five percent of respondents think Congress is doing a shitty job. Seventy percent think the country is heading in the wrong direction. With three illegal wars raging, job growth stagnating, gridlock in Congress, and the infrastructure continuing to crumble, who can blame them?

Next up, the new adult beverage Blast! Made by Colt 45 and endorsed by Snoop Doggy Dogg, this syrupy concoction boasts 12 percent alcohol in a 23.5 ounce can – the equivalent of 5 beers. Coming in flavors such as watermelon, blueberry and pomegranate, this beverage is clearly being marketed to young and underage drinkers. This week, nineteen states demanded the beverage maker alter the recipe or face the prospect of a prospective ban. Spokespeople for Blast could not be reached – perhaps they are too intoxicated to respond.

And look who’s here – it’s Lady GaGa! This homely, shrill, talent-less ripoff released the cover of her new album! Entitled “Born this Way” – the hideous black and white photo shows Lady GaGa’s snarling face superimposed onto some kind of human/motorcycle hybrid. The song “Born This Way” which was purportedly an empowering song for Lesbians and Gays to rally behind – now seems to suggest that Homosexuality is a grotesque mutation. Lady Gaga – if you are truly Born This Way you need to be…

And, finally, this week marks the one year anniversary of the Deep Water Horizon spill in the Gulf.  Lest we forget - BP, leasing a rig from TransOcean and approved by Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar – negligently managed their operations until it literally blew up in their faces, killing eleven humans and countless other species. One year later, the government is trying to put the spin on saying that the Gulf has rebounded, but photographic and personal anecdotes tell a different story. The economic and emotional destruction continues, and still no one is held accountable. Recently, Transocean rewarded its top executives almost a million dollars in “safety bonuses.” Everyone involved in this fiasco deserves a good strong…

Hey – we’re out of time once again! Thanks so much for listening and – as always – we LOVE your comments! Please, watch on YouTube, subscribe in iTunes and LIKE our Facebook page – goodnight!!!

