(lyrics)

Just woke up 
The sky is grey, 
Let's seize the day 

I see the clock, 
And it says 5 
Wait, which one? 
Who gives a fuck? 

Stumble through 
The internet 
Cloudy day, 
And I'm wasting it 

Grandiose, 
obsessive pride, 
Sometimes forget, 
That we all die 
- 

She's called a tease 
I argue like 
It's some disease 

But we passed out, 
I guess 'round six, 
in her cheap bed, 
Woke up and said, 

What's today?, 
Cause I forget, 
My calendar, 
Was ripped to shreds 

Remember when, 
you were a kid, 
I really don't, 
I wish I did 
- 

What the fuck's 
a waste of time 
That's all life is 
I think it's fine 

And she's my friend, so 
I love her too, 
I don't know why 
Maybe because were both confused

15 Mistakes To Avoid In Your 20's

The Quirky Puns 
-
What Year Do You Think Love Will Be Considered a Mental Illness, Due To To Fear Of Codepency?  (no vocal track, guitar only)

 
(work in progress)

What Are We Protesting, Again?

What Year Do You Think Love Will Be Considered a Mental Illness, Due To Fear Of Codepency?(WIP)

Was tired of hack conservative radio baby boomers talking about "PARTICIPATION TROPHIES" as they conned millennials into getting useless degrees from pointless universities and enslave them in debt. I wrote from the perspective of a guy who bitches about how much kids bitch, like Ben Folds' 'Uncle Walter' only it sounds more like some kind of psychedelic folk/elliott smith emo-song and isn't funny, it's just one big joke. I hated how confusing the lyrical point of view was, so I threw it away, even though it was one of the better songs i'd recorded in my life, at the time.  Think I was 22. Enjoy.


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The Quirky Puns 
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Ballad of the Neo-Con


or

(Flyin' J Travel-Center Philosophers)

or 

(Generation zZzZzZz)

or 

(Gold Medals, Lyrics, Melody, & Live Instruments For Everyone)

FOR MYSPACE

Ballad of the Neo-Con (song from age 22)

Hurry

really weird long sort of flashy piano song....ben folds meets velvet underground  or something, enjoy

Trending (demo)

Sarcasm Is Your Second Language (demo)

Hippie, motivational-speaker-level sap lyricism.  Take 1 was fast. Still uploading this version, anyway.

Sarcasm Is Your Second Language (take 1)(ALTERNATE LYRICS)

this track sounds a lot like half the shit off pure comedy, but piecing together a bunch of tracks that feature zero guitar is the idea, so.

That Celebrity Should Apologize!

Apartment Tapes

Pet My Fur ('A White Guy With An Acoustic Guitar') (orig. demo w/ nonsense lyrics)

(lyrics)

I’m a feminist and hate homophobes, 
I don't say racist shit even when I'm alone,
I play guitar and every word of that was true,
But how fucking boring?!
Did I say even one thing that's new??
-

Oh, it’s getting exhausting,
And don’t you think that it’s lazy?
How everyone says the same shit,
’Til it’s driving you crazy,

When you win arguments, you often lose a friend
Or time, or peace of mind, but no one ever wins,
If we pretend there’s no ‘hot topic’ in the news,
Maybe that disconnect, would connect me and you

RARARA, for your side!
But your status is ‘lazy’,
If you’re an activist, ACT NOW!
How much you talk is amazing

(solo)

Ideology,
As an identity,
Now all your feelings are buried,
If I were you, that would scare me
-

Tammy Metzger's Applause (demo) (on guitar)

unreleased song with alt tuning that I wrote and recorded in like 5 minutes.

No Catholic Guilt (bonus track)

Needle in the Hay (Elliott Smith) (Cover)

Don't listen unless you're intrigued, I'm not trying to 'be a star, one day!' or anything. I just put this out, to put it out, so people can maybe identify with it and get something out of it.

Satirizing fake empathy and mocking faux-bohemian stereotypes and mindless the fashion sponge lifestyles that people value more than just..being a nice person.  That's the closest thing to a 'message' on the record.

The Quirky Puns

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