We’ve all been there, we’ve all done it, and we all have that t-shirt from one point in our lives or another…  “Acting A Damn Fool” and going off the rails with full on chaos, or maybe just making a public spectacle of ourselves because we’re loaded, or even just making very foolish choices during a time in our lives that we spent more time hammered than sober…  All of them are examples of becoming someone we are NOT, simply because we let the darkness take over.  Think back… remember that time in your life, and try to laugh…

Aunt Rick
© 2008 Darby Jones

Aunt Rick stood up when she took a pee
Her arms were strong as hickory
She loved to push me in the swing
It was a regular thing

She kissed Aunt Margarete stuck her tongue in
Her voice was low like dogs growlin'
I'd fall asleep when she would sing
It was a regular thing

    And I hope there is a heaven
    For my Aunt Rick
    Angora wings galore
    For chicks with dicks

Her love was real never fake
But Daddy called her a mistake
But Momma said someday she'd taste
Everyone's love in a different place 

    And I hope there is a heaven
    For my Aunt Rick
    Angora wings galore
    For chicks with dicks

Aunt Rick

You Suck At Life
© 2007 Darby Jones

You suck at life
You blow it off when you're stoned
You suck at love
Turned your girl lesbian (lesbi-own)
Good for you

You suck at life
You stop at green lights when you're stoned
You suck at love
Your new wife left you for your old girlfriend
Good for them

We fight eye to eye
Sorry man to man
So go ahead and talk me down
Go ahead and talk me down

We suck at life
We like to watch Dr. Phil
Cause we suck at love
Whiskey's our only number one
Good for us

We fight eye to eye
Sorry man to man
So go ahead and talk me down
Go ahead and talk me down

You Suck At Life Demo

I Found God
© 2024 Darby Jones

I party almost every night, 
Hit the whiskey by mid-day
Jesus is my home-boy wipes all my sins away
I go to church and chase that skirt 
Change my life around
The preacher's girl said God was underneath her gown … and I believed her.

Glory glory hallelujah

I found God with my tongue
Underneath the pews, church is fun
Snuck into the rectory
The preacher's girl got it on with me.

I pray to God every night, 
Hit the juice on Sunday
Jesus is my home-boy wipes all my sins away
I go to church and chase that skirt
Change my life around
The preacher's wife never knew how to get down … but I showed her.

Glory glory hallelujah

I found God with my tongue
Underneath the pews, where church is fun
Snuck into the rectory
The preacher's wife got it on with me

I still live with mom and dad 
They still think I am gay … fuck it.

Glory glory hallelujah!

I found God with my tongue
The angels sang in unison
Snuck into the rectory
Preacher man got on his knees
Doing some hardcore praying … up in the preacher’s rectory

Glory glory hallelujah

I Found God Demo

Since 2019 I have seen more negative changes happening in the world than I have seen in the last 56 years of my life. 
The whole “stay in your house” twilight zone stuff 5 years ago, with people wearing those creepy masks all over the place and retailers suspending silly plexiglass in mid air at their stores. 
The price of food has been skyrocketing, and foods are being genetically modified, (even mosquitoes and bees have been tampered with!) the sky is now filled with bizarre cloud patterns like checker boards, and weather that is in no way “natural”.(wink, wink)
A.I. is starting to take over the world, and it feels like these new robots are from in The Terminator movies.
Our money is being rapidly devalued, and new digital crypto money is coming online (which basically doesn’t even exist in any real sense of the word. But they are gonna force us to use it.) 
There are very credible rumors that they want to put bugs into processed foods.
We just keep getting more and more Media and Politicians who no one can trust… (and YES that includes ALL OF THEM…) be honest with yourself. If they were not famous and on TV you would not trust any of them to be alone in your house while you were away on vacation. They have not earned it. 
The whole world is going dark… in the wrong direction almost like in the book of Revelations. 
I am not a preacher, and I am not a Bible thumper.
But I can see where this is all going, and it isn’t good…

TURN OFF THE NIGHT

I Wouldn't Do That If I Were Me

Sometimes it’s the coke talkin’
Or it could be the booze
But it’s got me thinkin’ crazy shit that really isn’t true…

My Mind Is A Fuckin’ Catastrophe
What’s Even Harder To Believe
Is Just How Stupid I’m About To Be
I Wouldn’t Do That If I Were Me

Why aren’t I ashamed of this?
Guess right now it feels good
And somehow I can’t stop myself, even when I know I should…

My Mind Is A Fuckin’ Catastrophe
What’s Even Harder To Believe
Is Just How Stupid I’m About To Be
I Wouldn’t Do That If I Were Me
I Swear, I Wouldn’t Do That If I…
I Swear, I Wouldn’t Do That If I Were Me!

I’m on auto pilot
Every light is green
It’s almost like decisions are machine
When Will Better Angels Intervene?

I Wouldn’t Do That If I Were Me
It’s Crash And Burn… It’s Acting Like A Teen!
I Wouldn’t Do That If I Were Me!
I Wouldn’t Do That If I Were Me!
I Wouldn’t Do That If I…

I WOULDN'T DO THAT IF I WERE ME

Master & Sync: Jukestone Publishing

Original
© 2005 Buzz Kiefer 

I’m beautiful
Everything about me is amazing
Everybody prob’ly thinks I’m crazy
Nothin’ anybody says is gonna phase me

I’m a certified, recognized, undeniable original

Ain’t gonna be another thing like me forever
Some people never gonna see but hey, whatever

I’m a certified, recognized, undeniable original

Instrumental

Fearfully and wonderfully made
Fingerprints and snowflakes
The stars and the planets in outer space
Hey face it, embrace it
You’re such a beautiful thing, so sing, baby sing

I’m beautiful
I’m beautiful
I’m beautiful

I’m beautiful
Everything about me is amazing
Everybody prob’ly thinks I’m crazy
Nothin’ anybody says is gonna phase me

I’m a certified, recognized, undeniable original

Contact: Darby Jones
President, Jukestone Publishing
darbyjones@gmail.com
615.484.0877

Original

Master & Sync: Jukestone Publishing

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I Wanna Be the Christmas Tree
© 2006 Buzz Kiefer

I wanna be the Christmas tree
I want that angel on top of me
Tie me up with strings of lights
Hang that pretty thang just right

Scoot your gifts up underneath
Baby I wanna be the Christmas tree

Hang those stockings by the chimney with care
Take ‘em off slow baby, wiggle those toes in the air
Santa’s watchin’ every move you make
So you better be bad for goodness’ sake

I wanna be the Christmas tree
I want that angel on top of me
Tie me up with strings of lights
Hang that pretty thang up high

Scoot your gifts up underneath
Baby I wanna be the Christmas tree

Damn you look so good
And I wish you’d bring me some figgy puddin’
I got a taste for some Christmas treats
And mm-mmm, mama, you look good enough to eat

I wanna be the Christmas tree
I want that angel on top of me
Tie me up with strings of lights
Hang that pretty thang just right

Scoot your gifts up underneath
Baby I wanna be the Christmas tree

I really dig chicks with wings
I get off on that whole angel-thing
And halos? Hot-damn, I like to break ‘em clean off
But don’t worry little angel, I won’t let you fall

I wanna be the Christmas tree
I want that angel on top of me
Tie me up with strings of lights
Hang that pretty thang up high

Scoot your gifts up underneath
Baby I wanna be the Christmas tree

«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»

Licensing Contact: 
Darby Jones
President, Jukestone Publishing
darbyjones@gmail.com
615.484.0877

Christmas Tree

Master & Sync: Jukestone Publishing

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The Mountain Song
© Buzz Kiefer  

I am a mountain, you are the rain
You came a-falling, but you didn't stay

You must be pouring over the earth
I'm still waiting for you to return

I am a mountain, strong in the drought
I know you're coming, I never did doubt 
I know you're serving the greater of goods
But you must be missing my sleepy brown woods

Way down beneath me there is a fire
Soon to be reaching high in the sky
Maybe you'll see me and fallow my call
Or you may not notice it happening at all

Fall ...
Fall ...

I see you lighting the sky in the east
I hear your voice thundering, it gives me some peace
I knew you'd be coming, I never did doubht
I think the wind is bringing you now

Fall ...
Fall ...

I am a mountain, you are the rain
I'll be hear burning to feal you again

«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»

Licensing Contact:
Darby Jones
President, Jukestone Publishing
darbyjones@gmail.com
615.484.0877

The Mountain Song

Master & Sync: Jukestone Publishing

“Six Billion Lonely People”

Six billion lonely people
Floating out to sea
We’re all in the same ol boat
Same ol destiny

A million little pieces
Hearts are like grenades
Shatter all these promises
Love ain’t no parade

Love always seems to fade
There’s nothing left to say

A thousand little questions
Wash across your face
It’s not you it’s me you say
Street lights show our fate

Bars are full of broken hearts at 3 in the afternoon
Lined up on their squeaky plastic stools 
Bars are full of broken hearts at 3 in the afternoon
Shadows in the shape of me and you

«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»

Licensing Contact:
Darby Jones
President, Jukestone Publishing
darbyjones@gmail.com
615.484.0877

6 Billion Lonely People

This group of songs were written and demoed in 2024 and beyond.

(I also have another page on Soundcloud called "The Songs Of Al DeTrolio" for everything produced by Nolan Neal in 2013-2022 that I wrote during that time period.)

I WOULDN'T DO THAT IF I WERE ME

Al DeTrolio (2024 And Beyond...)

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Al DeTrolio (2024 And Beyond...)

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