BREAKING NEWS: BHS accused of poisoning Prince, and Nicky Morgan to give schools the right to use non-lethal force.

Headlines: 25th April 2016

HEADLINES: Airstrikes launched against British Steel, and why are suicide rates amongst young Conservatives so high?

Headlines: 25th May 2016

HEADLINES: UK to disappear down plughole.  But first here's some more about Jeremy Corbyn.

HEADLINES: Farage to apply for asylum and Leadsom says Europeans in Europe will be allowed to stay there.

HEADLINES: New alien overlord appointed, and Andrew Eagle in bid to become Angela Eagle

HEADLINES: American warplanes attack Russia in Syria, and Boris Johnson faces some tough challenges.

HEADLINES: Clinton and Trump "may have found" David Cameron, and new solution to migrant crisis identified.

HEADLINES: Trump and Clinton go fist to pussy, and why religion and religion don't mix

HEADLINES: John Major's controversial Oscars acceptance speech, and why Moonlight became the best band.

Rizla Shard brings you shallow sarcasm and baseless reporting from unreliable sources.
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