if i take my life today
i hope my soul the lord will take
and if you dont know whats wrong with me
ive been suffering from anxiety

smoking so much weed
i cant open my eyes
put me on medication
swallow all these pill's till i die

thought about taking my life the other day
but will the lord take me to the pearly gates
lord what the fuck is wrong with me
why Am i suffering with anxiety

i dont like shit bitch 
i dont go outside
its been 4 years since my brother passed
but it feels like today was the day That he died
and i can feel it in my soul
i shed no tears
but deeply inside you know i cry
and i can still see your face 
so i run and i hide 
and i couldn't talk to your mother 
lord knows i tried
and ive been trying to find god
so when i die i can live in the sky
but my nigga im ready to die
ive been alone by myself 
drinking henny getting high
im a loner a stoner 
i dont wanna go outside
if you see me im alone im cold 
im ready to explode 
on my mama i wish that a nigga would try
and since a young man ive been suffering with anxiety
i diagnose myself why pay a doctor for something i can see
and every day i fight with my thoughts will i get better
now tell me do i need help its now or never

i just hope you understand me 
ive felt nothing but pain
i used to look up to the sky
and wondering what was my purpose in this life
after they took your life dejan 
my world became hell 
seeing your face before you went into the ground
scared me for life
ive just been running but i can no longer run anymore
Astaghfirullah

the last 6 years of my life 
have been controlled by depression and fear
i heard the devil every night speaking into my ear
depression is the devil 
the devil is fear
every time i made a move 
i turn around and he's right there
arudbilahi manishayitan ir rajeem
i seek refuge in allah from the rejected Satan
in my life time  all the things that ive seen 
my father used voodoo its real man im Haitian
i felt the pressure and pain almost all my life
it got so bad i thought about taking my life 
numerous times , on numerous occasions
they said things will get better just be patient
how can i be patient when i cant even stay sane
i got the mind frame of pac 
every ones out to get me
should i get a glock 
a 100 rounds 
get into my pine box
and squeeze it till its fucking empty 
people have judged me all of my life
they dont know me or know my story
i dont speak much i let the music speak for me
but who truly understands if no one listens
i hate talking about this shit 
they say im weak and im tripping
but truly i've experienced so much , all i know is pain
i believe in god but who listens when im praying
and i hope with this intervention comes a new change
and if i pass away tonight i hope you all remember my name

 

 i used to think about ending my life
thinking maybe that was the answer
depression is cancer
its something most of us have all felt
it doesn't matter your race
gender , none of that
i wanna thank just blaze
for giving me the opportunity to express my self
on this beautiful composition 
and if your going through 
depression or anxiety , 
you are not alone
Astaghfirullah

TheAnxiousMan994

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