4/3/21, 12:20 a.m.

sad because i want you. grateful because i get to know you. 
my soul carries generations of heartache and longing. my legs are strong and my back is sore. 

i love love. i want to share it with you. 
maybe it’ll pass, i don’t know. 

the only thing i know is that i have lived and died a million times— 

soon i will be shaking my thumb on some norwegian street, or learning italian in a rest stop parking lot with strangers, or watching the sky turn from red to yellow to magenta to lavender to blue to lavender to



i will wake up one day and the sunlight kissing my skin through a cracked window will feel like the universe herself has created the day just for me. 

right now it’s just me and the mirror. right now it’s just me and the things i tell the man staring back at me. there’s Life behind those eyes; and although i cannot feel it, i can see it.

these are the things i want to share with him, and with you, 
and i get to know both

and the sun always kisses my skin through the window.

cruise control

dreamt of u

Avery Vernon's Album

interlude 12/28/18

feelin pretty bad
feelin pretty sad
turn on my switch n i see u there
studded net n red spiky hair
i know its not hair but i like it anyway

bought a ticket at 7pm
flightless birds dropped me at a foreign place
bamboo is the easiest to erase

it’s not scorpion island, it won’t be easy
but i will try anyway cuz i love when u smile cheesy

eat some coconut, get rid of the rocks
i even broke my axe chopping all the stalks

i wanted to catch even just 3
cuz if it isn’t for the money i wanna support yr artistry 

spent an hour and a half slowly walking in circles 
chasing off those weird rock roaches

but i only got 2
and i have to work in the morning
just know i tried so hard for u

i only got 2
if i didn’t work in the morning
i would have tried harder for u

love song for flick

♡ lyrics: 

scuffed up shoes?
or spit polished boots?
will he notice either way?

it takes u four hours to get ready just to look like
u don’t care 

should i use keratin 
or coconut 
in my hair?

should my socks match my shirt
or my shoes match my pants?
i guess maybe both couldn’t hurt

i’m trying too hard
i’m trying too hard
i’m trying too hard
get out of my head
get out of my head

i’m trying too hard

it’s probably just another tinder date
destined to be left on read

b ready in 4 (hours) - first demo

lyrics:

i’ll come home and i
i’ll do the dishes from the night before

and i

i’ll even mop the floor

i’ll do the things that
i usually wouldn’t like
cuz i wanna make this life 
right


i’ll do 
the chores that a 20 something 
should anyway 
without complaining

i’ll do 
the chores 
a 20 something 
should 

i won’t 
be complaining anymore

things i dont wana do but make me feel good when i do them

lyrics:

i cant even write about it
not ready to face it

cant even write about it

i wrote this tune
cuz it sounds like you

and it hurts to say
i still see your face

but i’m gonna say it
anyway

—————

i’m gonna sing this
cuz i wanna yearn
for something else

i’m gonna sing this
cuz i love you
and i promise i won’t pretend 
that i never did

i love you
and it hurts
i love you
but it’s over
i love you
and i’m ready to love
myself

too

breaking up with denial

me, myself, and the moon

its more like

steady as she goes

beat i made circa 2017 after i got my wisdom teeth out, finished now in 2020.

lyrics:

i just wanna go away
just wanna fade away
empty home
vacant space 
lonely nights
close my eyes
you held my hand tight
held my hand tight
ever since i can’t love right

empty room
washed up view
of you
sitting on the roof
watch the sun set
use my last pennies on a empty bet
chew another xanny 
help me forget 
help me forget

empty room
bursting head
keep dreaming of when i’ll get over it

just write another shitty song
that sound like the rest
fade away into my chest
at least i know im tryin my best

the comedown sad

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