A year on from recording the Christmas 2020 episode, after much laziness and procrastinating, one of the episodes is ready to fill your ears with pure time-wasting nonsense.
Molly and Carrie discuss hairiness, the scobey horror house, the usual facts on jesus and the disapearance of the Peugeot 306.
Big thanks to Cavan Arts for funding the equipment for us to talk shite.

St. Patricia's home for overly hairy women

In the first episode of the Contrition Mission, We discuss robbing from the church, whether or not priests eat pizza and, customer service problems.

In the Beginning...

In episode two of the Contrition Mission, We chit chat about doing sexy things in-front of family, waxing flaps, instagram shame and a very hot and smokey funeral.

Fuck up, would ya!

This episode covers confessions of stealing 'sweets', the devils cabbage, catching your death of cold and finding out Jeff Buckley isn't from Cavan.

Drying Babies with Rocks

In today's episode, We discuss the immaculate conception, pissing in glasses, sex injuries and the discovery of a sheep's vagina on a school tour.

The Glass, The Ice and the Three Penises

The Glass, The Ice and The 3 Penises.

On this episode of the Contrition Mission, We discuss when Jesus came off the dole, being a 33-year-old lady, riding and not riding, the price of petrol and, general Catholic gossip and craic. Hold on to your flaps and listen to the long-awaited 10th episode.

Soapy Priest Bastard

Soapy Priest Bollox

The long awaited 11.5 episode of the Contrition Mission delves into Carrie's 6th class 'Religoin' copy, our favourite brother, hot topic catholic news and, of course, some clatty stories sent in by ye filthy feckers.

D'ya know how I love Jesus?

In this crossover episode of the Contrition mission, Carrie is joined by Go dig a hole podcaster, Chris and sweet American beure, Rose. Topics covered this episode include the science behind corkscrew aerodynamics, shark week and the most adequate way to make a holy show of yourself in a short space of time.

The American Crucifixion of Molly

On this special drunk episode of the Contrition mission, Carrie and Molly wreck the heads of friends and family at the Cavan Arts Festival 2019. Prepare to be annoyed by a serious amount of audible bullshit, the gowl game, religion copy books from the 90s and a rendition of a Backstreet Boys song that you will find hard to erase from memory.

Cavan?Me Arts

The episode that we call 15, but it is actually 14. We are bad at maths. Shut up. In this episode of the Contrition Mission, we learn about St. Dympna, Pedo beer, cheeky houseguests and mop minge. It's the episode that no one wanted to hear, but you are going to listen because you are a close dear friend. Right? Yea, fuck you!

The Legendary Story of the Giant Pile of Shite

Here it is. The final episode of season 1. The art of genuflecting, holy stones and the shifting tunnel are topics discussed along with stories from Kerry and Mayo. Puke tacos and poop nuggets are also touched on.Enjoy. Losers

Someone has been at the Jammie Dodgers

Twas the night before the Year of the Rat and all was quiet, except the cat. (and a living room in Galway).
Carrie and Molly, sat down on their chairs, to share with the world other peoples despair.
They drank and they laughed, and burped and farted, with Sarah, their guest, the third part of tritarded.
With laughter and snorting, and tequila aplenty, the Contrition Mission pledged more shite talk for the year 2020

Our Souls, Arseholes

Our Soul, Arseholes

In this pointless waste of time episode, we share an excerpt from an Irish phonecall, chitchat about the saint of the day, unexpected poops and the neverending saga of CATHOLIC V PROTESTANT. Carrie's mind gets blown several times and Molly slurs her words in equal amounts. Enjoy this new episode with the spirit in which it was intended. Alcoholic.

Infalliblablablabla

Molly and Carrie successfully attempt to remotely record a podcast cross country in an extreme social distancing move to combat C who must not be named while discussing the health of minges, breaking the fancy cabinet at birthday parties, the Robin Hood of Esso, Saint of the week, Pure Cure for the wondering womb and much more shite talk. Also featuring "Be not afraid" a song of comfort by Carrie.

Minge Face Cloth

Carrie and Molly discuss what they are doing to keep themselves occupied on lockdown, fixin bikes, scaring people in parks, the current tinder crisis because Carrie doesn't like people, living through tiny chicken town parties and mass.. This weeks Saint of the week is Mary Magdalene and her escapades. Pure cure for the Byores whoure, stories from the Angelo Celt Cavans cures. The kiss and the birdshit. The beginning of the Dublin house of pain saga.

The cure of the dirty mouth

A holy show of a podcast with Molly and Carrie from Cavan, Ireland, sharing  filth and the sinful stories of others through anonymous confessions.
Send us your mortifying stories thecontritionmission@gmail.com

The Contrition Mission

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