i really feel you john this is so sad tho

2023 November 26, I finished re-listening to this album, ah, love, dreams, it all soaked me again, the second polarity of demigod is a human being

Fucking really, why can't you turn fucking love out of my mind?

fuck love

download: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/love-a-broken-dream

Love, A Broken Dream

Yeah, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
I am a (?)
I am (?), I've got
I am (?), I am
I am (?), I am
And I don't care about you
And I don't care about her
And I don't care about him
I don't care about her
I just want to leave
I just want to fly
I want to fly past the sky
Into another universe, then die
Then die, and resurrect
'Till everything correct
That is correct to me
Not to correct to you or me
So I just be me
And you just gonna be you
And you gonna be psyche
And I'm gonna be the truth
And if you disagree
Well, I can kill you
With the dark side of nature

Nature
And burn
And burn, yo
And burn, and burn, and burn
And burn, and burn, and burn
Burn, burn, yo

LUNA

The 2 Year Nightmare

its late at night
did some things that i regret
now im just thinking about you constantly in my head
i think my emotions are becoming attached to you
even just after these few times that we met

i dont know if i should accept these emotions that take over me
or cease the energy from flowing in the same cycles
so many different times [?]
i dont want to listen [?] freedom
resentment 
this is rejection and resentment 
this is depressing [?] im flexing
im standing alone [?]

im resenting it back, sending it back, sending it back
its late at night
did some things that i regret
now im just thinking about you constantly in my head
i think my emotions are becoming attached to you
even just after these few times that we met yuh x 2

met BUT IT DOESNT EVEN FUCKING MATTER CUZ YOU DONT FUCKING LOVE ME (pitched down moan) YOU FUCK fuck fucking EVEN CARE YOU KNOW WHAT IM DONE WITH THIS LOVE SHIT LITERALLY THE SAME SHIT FUCKING HAPPENS EVERY GOD DAMN TIME NOTHING ELSE FUCKING WORKS i want this fucking emotion ripped out of my fucking body FOR FUCKING REAL (sigh) fuck love man fuck it FUCK ITTT (tries turning off the light i think) why won't it turn off :/

The Last Crush

noccanism tonight
yeah yeah 
im in love x 14
love x 8
im in love
(more im in love and love)

my heart is beating
[?]
amazing 
feel like im blazing
blazing like im gaining
yeah its rising its getting stronger
stronger lasts longer
l, l, love (a couple more times)

*deafening sound*

I'm in love (not anymore)

Production by LordQuan

yeah uh ay
i found this beat on youtube just typed in like travis scott type beat
noccanism

ay ay ay ay
there's this new girl that i have met
i think ive become to emotionally attached
ay ay ay
when i see her with another guy
anger and sadness leak out the dispatched
i dont know if its a sign that my higher cells have sent me
or if its something that will detriment me
she spent 4 nights in everything
nice, beautiful, vibrant, ginger hair cute little freckles on her face everywhere
she's an amazing drawer and painter
no type of challenge could restrain her
she says that she likes my art to
which gave me a boost 
to creatively push through
but she's kinda hard
so im just talking nonsense 
knowing that it makes my hate for love more immense
but its not her fault its not mine
i guess the universe just doesn't want us to line
but i wanna be alined
we get along so well and have so much in common
i think about her all the time while eating ramen raaaamen

[?]
it doesn't matter because in the end she has a boyfriend
[?]
i dont even know anymore ill just leave society 
where nobody cares about me 
go its my inner core (core)

you're just being over dramatic
the energy between me and her is fucking V E G A S  S T A T I C
she dont even care about me
i asked her what's wrong one time
and she said nothing
when she obviously showed me signs of drowning

i could tell by how she looked
not by empathy
i can't really feel for humans
i feel like most have resented me
so ill just distance myself from her
so when she thinks of me
all she'll see is a bur 
and my heart [?] imbalance 
i need to heal this show this energy and talent
we were never really meant to be

Too Attached

L0V3? V9

oh yeah, oh yeah yeah

this girl is so far away
but i still confess everyday 
everyday
we found each other alive
but when i try to talk to her i chicken out every time
every time 
and i finally did and it was the biggest moment in my life 
life

there's a girl that i dont love
it was such a big adventure
us smiling at the thing you said 
and i said to her

this girl is so far away but i see her face everyday 
everyday
we found each other alive
when i tried to talk to her i chicken out all the time
all the time
and i finally did and it was the biggest moment in my life 
life

there's a girl that i dont love
it was such a big adventure
us smiling at the thing you said 
and i said to her
but it didn't work out us together
it didn't work out
it didn't work out
you just curved me
[?]
it didn't work out (repeated)

Distance Doesn't Work

Production by BYOU$

when i’m angry, yeah
im gazing at the wolf haley
these people think they know me but they all some fucking strangers
i tried to be popular but everyone knows but they are trynna kill me so i fucking hate myself
im about to do some suicide til i find my dream girl 
she was pretty 
the best in the world
the best in the world
it was going well until my friend told my crush so i got mad at him and gave him a punch 
laying him on the ground got at his head
booted his fucking body so we can never be fo 
so then the same night decided to ask her out
i said will you go out with me?
bravery and growth
but she gave me a one word answer and that fucking answer was no
NO NO NO NO
(a few more no’s)
why’d you have to say no?
i walked away like everything was ok but in my eyes right there wish i could fucking decay
and now i’m just thinking that i’m ugly as fuck 
should went into the streets and get ran over by a truck 
now all i can say to this girl is
i fucking hate you 
[?]

Depressant Of Happiness

this does not go with the story of my other projects

yeah x 28

girl of my world yeah she’s my big crush
you know she’s cool and all of that stuff
i know that was corny 
but i was just trynna be flirty 

yeah x 28

you mean that she’s special
unlike these other humans are dirty
i know that i’ve said this but
she is, she is, she is hot
if i had the courage i would kiss her on the spot
but i’m not that kind of guy
im actually really shy
shy

and i imagine us talking face to face
but reality puts that in a bad place
we see each other in the halls between class
but we dont look we just walk we just pass

[?] and i feel so bad
i wanna jump off a building and be sad
and this girl is in my league
wanna ask her will you go out with me?
feeling really [?] yes or no
[?]
feeling really [?] yes or no
[?]

yeah x 56

Out Of My League

The Training EP

Lullaby

alien consciousness
descends upon the earth
above the barren rock that would give us all birth
seeding all local stars
with the building blocks of life

they are coming

time and again they returned to check in
making their rotations across the void
editing, moulding, and shaping 
each world pon which they grew life
folding space to slip through the void,
skipping stones 'cross the pond of time

they are coming
they are coming

the aeons went past
through the aqueous and ectotherms
and on unto mammals and man
Now maybe they're pleased they created us
Maybe they'll bomb us back to the cretaceous
But at least we all know where we stand

hey, they're here, never
left this place, never left this sphere, oh
hey, they're gone, oh
just living on the bottom of the ocean
Find them and free ourselves
we got nothing to live for but the end itself
draw down the moon 'pon this mortal hell
we got nothing to live for but the end itself

hear now the silent self
flowing over the barriers you held
admit now that what is true
cannot be known by any one of you
a picture not contained in time
can not be seen from within its lines, oh, but
find the door and step outside
And witness the truth we have tried to hide

we come in peace, prepared for war
in the name of civility 
but we're not gonna bring some barbarians home
just because they fucked up their scene
we're the reincarnations of brohda
and ten thousand more names besides
and if we have to kill you, you won't leave here alive

The Reincarnation of Brohda

The Reincarnation Of Brohda

This song is titled "Unreachable Dream" because I talk about a dream love relationship that I will never have where both of us understand each other and other things like that. Sadly that's just a dream and this is reality. Fuck Love. 
New EP soon titled "Love, A Broken Dream"
New Twitter: https://twitter.com/JOHNNASCUS
New Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnnascus/
DOWNLOAD: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/love-a-broken-dream

Unreachable Dream

idk
Music Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v5LNp2clJs
Download: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/no-theme

Time isn't real
its faker than the meat in a happy meal
I wanna fuck myself, the only love i feel
The nightmares up and arise, trapped in my own silent hill
Or the Dark Side Of Nature, and i will rule till killed
I cannot coexist with my cerebrum
Overthinking till hurts, cause implosion
Communication death, no oxygen
Primal state once again, I'm only semen
And whats the reason
You live in treason
There are no seasons
I cannot a ask of thee of what you really want from me
I am a degenerate, I'm straight edge but I'm edgy
Chanting through the woods and screaming that i want to be free
The universe shows it, it disintegrates my body
Shattered my reality
Atom to a galaxy
That into a universe
Im more worthless than a fucking germ
Chanting through the woods and screaming that i want to be free
The universe shows it, it disintegrates my body

Special snowflake fucking dead (repeated)

The Last Crush

JOHNNASCUS

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