hide my face behind my hair
always looking down at the ground
i act like im not there
dont make a sound
i dont make a sound
i remember long car rides
look at the trees as we go by
hand in the wind
i pretend its an airplane

i wanted to live
dont wanna die
i just remembered
i just remembered
i just remembered it's alright
it’s alright

[Alexandrites]
there is a phrase that i feel is commonly thrown around
and that saying is something along the lines of
"you just want to feel special"
and i would like to tell you today
that there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel special
because everyone wants to feel special
everyone wants to have their experiences validated
and deep down
everyone wants to know that they are unique in some way
that they bring something different to the table
and in fact
they do

that kid never left me
im done, done neglecting
i still see the beauty
cry at movies
the music moves me

for the kid i was

we used to laugh so much
but now we dont speak
i remember the sound of your voice still

inside my head
lives a version of you
you’re still with me in everything i do

i still keep a space for you
even after all this time
i never let you go
things will never be the same
i know

wake from bad deams
another bad year gone
with all this time im wasting
im alone now
i never dreamed how
i’d survive this long but here i am
i miss you more than i can even comprehend

i try to make it out
close my eyes forget about it
we’re only older now
obstacles are bigger but it’s
still the same thing
still the same pain
still remains
even when i try to run away

running away

polyrhythmic loop

am i missing out
most days?
i dont go out
these days
oh, the setting sun
you can find me on the run

am i showing up
half baked?
have i opened up
too late?
i dont ever know
what ive done until its done

are you still around
when the sun goes down?
i dont even try
to catch your eye
its just all around

half baked
too late

are you still around?
are you still around?
are you still around?
are you still around?

Half-Baked

Fuck You I Won't Turn Down When You Tell Me

make believe.

The Glass

bittersweet melancholy

Bust Down the Beat (JAM)

And it’s funny…

You got a fast car
And I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Any place is better
Starting from zero, got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
Me, myself, I got nothing to prove
You got a fast car
I got a plan to get us out of here
I've been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
Won't have to drive too far
Just across the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
Finally, see what it means to be living
See, my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle, that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
His body's too young to look like his
Mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said, somebody's got to take care of him
So, I quit school and that's what I did
You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away?
Still gotta make a decision
Leave tonight, or live and die this way
So, I remember when we were driving, driving in your car
Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder
And I, I, I had a feeling that I belonged
I, I, I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
You got a fast car
We go cruising, entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
So I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a bigger house, live in the suburbs
So, I remember when we were driving, driving in your car
Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder
And I, I, I had a feeling that I belonged
I, I, I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
You got a fast car
I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans, I ain't going nowhere
Take your fast car and keep on driving
So, I remember when we were driving, driving in your car
Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder
And I, I, I had a feeling that I belonged
I, I, I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so you can fly away?
You still gotta make a decision
Leave tonight, or live and die this way

Fuck You I Won't Turn Down When You Tell Me

The Denim Emperor

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