WELCOME CHILD

(The Dirt Codes Podcast Song) 

You may bury me in silence,
pack the soil above my name,
call my roots unworthy,
call my breaking a shame.

But still—
in the quiet dark
where no one thinks to look,
I gather every broken piece
the world once over­took.

In the hush of compost and memory,
in the chambers grief designed,
I learn the whispered language
of the shadow and the shine.

For the dirt is never just dirt—
it is cradle, it is keeper,
it is the place where endings soften
so beginnings may grow deeper.

And though pressure pressed upon me,
though decay drew near my door,
I rose—
not in spite of what was taken,
but because I held much more.

More truth than fear could flatten,
more spirit than the dark could hide.
A stubborn, steady knowing
that the buried do not die.

They rise.
Quiet at first—
then certain, then tall.
With a voice made of soil
and a soul shaped by it all.

Welcome to these Dirt Codes, child—
where the underground reveals the climb.
Where the shadow tells its secrets,
and the shine arrives on time.

Welcome to these Dirt Codes, child—
where the underground reveals the climb.
Where the shadow tells its secrets,
and the shine arrives on time.

Podcast coming soon...

Welcome Child

*Recorded live at Being Wellness Center 27/11/25*

join this beautiful ecstatic tribal gathering experience 
what a blessing to share this blessing together
hope you enjoy this  energetic, juicy, heart opening journey , created with so much love and reverence. 
love, yonder

LaniAkea Tribal Cacao Journey 🟣 Ecstatic Dance Set by Yonder

WATCH YOUR MOUTH 

This one's for the illusionists,
the ones who reshape truth for personal gain.
Unaware that you're wielding a power
that you do not yet understand.


You may not realize this,
but every word that you speak against another is a spell,
not the theatrical kind with candles and rituals and cauldrons.
I mean, if you want to go there you can, but be careful.

I'm talking about the spells, cast,
through gossip,
through slandering,
disguised as concern
under the mask of I'm just being honest.

You think it's harmless.
You think weaponizing your pain makes you righteous.
You think gathering allies validates your narrative.

Consciousness is mycelial,
the neural network that connects
every single one of us
in the one body of God.

What you speak travels
in the ethereal realm
and through the roots of the Earth,
through the field,
through the quantum,
through the collective.

Words do not end where your voice does.
They root themselves in the literal fabric of reality,
braids timelines,
bending perception,
altering the way souls are recognized.
Not a metaphor — it's architecture.

The field doesn't hear language.
It records intention,
the vibration of the action.

If your tongue carries venom,
the field records the venom.
If your motive is harm,
the field receives harm.

And if your aim is to damage a name,
the field records that as war —
spiritual warfare.

This is spell craft.
This is sorcery.
This is literal black magic,
not because you're wicked
(well, maybe this will serve
as an audit to the spirits that you carry),
but because you're unconscious
to the altar of your own mouth.

The tongue is the altar.
The mind is the wand.
And the intention is the blade.
Every thought becomes the hand that wields it.

You can twist a story,
you can gather witnesses,
you can convince the masses,
but you cannot deceive God.

Source tracks energy, not narratives.
Cosmic Law doesn't respond
to who tells a louder story —
only to who carries the cleaner hands.

And when you send out curses
disguised as concern,
when you weaponize your wounds
instead of healing them head on,
you're not just harming another.
You're inscribing that energy
in your own timeline.

What leaves your mouth
returns to your life.
What you plant in the field
sprouts in your path.

You reap
what you motherfucking sow.

And to the ones who never got to say this out loud —
the misunderstood,
the slandered,
the scapegoated:

Your restraint was not weakness.
It was sovereignty.
It was integrity.

You chose alignment over applause,
truth over performance.
You stayed in integrity
and the cosmos knows this.

You are safe
in the laws that govern the universe
beyond human perception.

Watch your mouth.

Spoken Words by Madison VanderEb 
@madisonandereb on IG

Watch Your Mouth

NO MORE SMALL

You got it all wrong,
This is my time,
This is my song.
You’ve got it all wrong,
This ain’t my fight 
That chaos always was your own. 

I used to wander empty,
bare soul, no armor on,
Taking every dare they tossed me,
thinking pain would make me strong.

But the fire wasn’t mine,
and the story wasn’t true 
I was shrinking just to fit
in the version built by you.

No more small, no more silent,
No more bending just to keep you calm.
No more shrinking in the shadows 
I’m done forgetting who I am.
No more small, no more quiet,
I’m rising loud and standing tall.
You can keep your doubts 
I’ve outgrown them all.
I’m done being small.

My ass got kicked in,
I lost damn near all my friends 
Only to watch
the whole thing
start again.

I thought I had it figured,
but illusions fade at dawn 
Turns out that rhyme I lived in
wasn’t mine,
wasn’t my song.

But awareness hit like thunder,
tore the dark back from the light 
I found power in the pieces
I once hid to make things right.

No more small, no more silent,
No more bending just to keep you calm.
No more shrinking in the shadows 
I’m done forgetting who I am.
No more small, no more quiet,
I’m rising loud and standing tall.
You can keep your doubts 
I’ve outgrown them all.
I’m done being small.

I stitched myself together
with the truth under my skin,
Every scar became a signal
of the woman I’ve become again.

You can call it evolution,
Call it fire, call it fate 
I just call it waking up
to the girl I wouldn’t break.

No more small, no more silent,
No more molding myself to make you feel strong.
No more dimming down the magic 
This is where I rise, where I belong.
No more small — hear me louder,
I’m living wide and standing tall.
I was never meant for cages,
never built to crawl.
I’m done 

I’m done being small.

No More Small

STILL I RISE 

(A song written about my night with Maya Angelou) 

It was a chain of events that led me to this night,
My mother fading out, my ex looking for a fight.
No friend alive could comprehend my ache,
Then a woman’s words rose up for my soul to take.

I suited up slow, headed out that door,
Alone but honest — I adored me more.
I watched her speak, drifted into a nap,
Drove away afterward, feeling heavy, feeling flat.

Then the phone lit up with a voice I didn’t deserve,
Said, “Come to dinner, love — the choice is yours.”
I swung that car fast, I left rubber on the ground,
’Cause missing this moment would’ve haunted me down.

Walked right in, sat with legends and truth,
Sat with the sharpest minds in the room.
Though tied to negligence, wrapped in their blame,
I took the chance anyway — stepped into the game.

She took my hands, saw straight through my walls,
Said, “Child, what story lives beneath it all?”
I said, “Dear Maya… I’m tired inside.
I give all my love, but I’m cast aside.”

Still I rise… still I rise…
Even when the world writes my name with their lies.
Still I rise… still I rise…
Like dust, like dawn, like fire in my eyes.

“How can I live with these good intentions?
Yet feel like some forgotten invention?”
She smiled soft and her voice grew warm,
“You remind me of a younger form…

“When I wrote that caged bird song…
You are strong, child — stay strong.”
Then she asked for Still I Rise right then,
Signed it with love, again and again.

Still I rise… still I rise…
Though they try to fold my wings, I’m born to fly.
Still I rise… still I rise…
I’m hope, I’m tide, I’m thunder in the sky.

I rise — from the dirt, from the ache, from the pain
(I rise, I rise)
I rise — from the nights I thought would never end
(Still I rise, still I rise)
I rise — through the lies they tried to write on my skin
(I rise again, I rise again)
I rise — every time my spirit remembers her name
(Maya said rise… still I rise…)

“You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness…”

But still — like air — I rise.
I rise.
I rise.


Still I Rise

WHY I MISSED 

You did everything right.
The position was solid. The break was clean. The trigger—perfect.

And yet… the target still played hard to get.

Welcome to 1-877-WHY-I-MISSED, the hotline for shooters seeking closure.

Here, we understand—it’s not always you.
Sometimes it’s your gear, your environment,
or the universe itself conspiring against your group size.

Maybe your barrel sped up.
Maybe the wind lied straight to your face.
Maybe your zero packed up and left without notice.
Maybe your tripod lost its balance… again.
Or maybe, deep down, you just know—it wasn’t you.

At 1-877-WHY-I-MISSED, we’re here to listen, to believe,
and to remind you that even the best shooters need a place to confess.

And if you act now, you’ll receive absolutely nothing—
nothing but the sweet, validating relief of knowing…
it was never your fault.

Call today.
1-877-WHY-I-MISSED.
Be honest. Be brave.
And remember—the first step to healing…
is admitting the wind was full of lies.



Modern Day Sniper
Join the Club www.moderndayrifleman.com 

WHY I MISSED

BOTTOMS OF MY SOUL 

Yeah, I came from the bottom of my soul,
Deep despair, dark nights, lost control.
Now my heart’s full, blessings overflow,
What was breakin’ me down now helps me grow.

Yeah, I’m standin’ ten toes on a brand-new road,
I was fightin’ my demons but I won that war.
Everything that hit me made me stronger, though—
What was done to me, now it’s done for me, fo’ sho’.

Where I been? Man, it’s wild just thinkin’ about it,
Had me drownin’ in my pain, couldn’t breathe without it.
Hit the lowest of the lows, soul bruised, heart cold,
Walkin’ round like a storm I could barely control.

I was holdin’ in the anger, lettin’ pressure just stack,
’Til it cracked, then I snapped, blowin’ up with the facts.
Thought somethin’ was wrong with me, I was stuck in the trap,
Overthinkin’ every move, every breath, every lapse.

Anxiety on my back but I didn’t know the name,
Runnin’ fast, movin’ frantic, tryin’ to outrun the pain.
People pleasin’, tryna fix what was never my blame,
Thinkin’ I ain’t good enough—man, that lie was insane.

Yeah, I came from the bottom of my soul,
Deep despair, dark nights, lost control.
Now my heart’s full, blessings overflow,
What was breakin’ me down now helps me grow.

Yeah, I’m standin’ ten toes on a brand-new road,
I was fightin’ my demons but I won that war.
Everything that hit me made me stronger, though—
What was done to me, now it’s done for me, fo’ sho’.

Now I see I am enough — smart enough, strong enough,
Capable of anything, I just had to call my bluff.
Life put weight upon my shoulders, it was tryna make me tough,
Pressure made a diamond outta everything I was.

My body’s changin’, nervous system lettin’ that trauma go,
Seven years at that job had me stuck in survival mode.
Feelin’ watched, feelin’ hunted, feelin’ heavy, feelin’ low,
Ask “why’s this always happen to me?” — now I know.

It was shakin’ me awake, not breakin’ me apart,
Turnin’ panic into power, puttin’ truth into my heart.
Yeah it’s scary when it hits, but then I feel that spark,
Like the strength was always in me, it was there from the start.

Now I’m physically steady, mentally ready,
Emotionally centered, spiritually leveled.
Financially solid, direction so clear,
I know who I am, that’s the shift right there.

Yeah, I came from the bottom of my soul,
Deep despair, dark nights, lost control.
Now my heart’s full, blessings overflow,
What was breakin’ me down now helps me grow.
Yeah, I’m standin’ ten toes on a brand-new road,
I was fightin’ my demons but I won that war.
Everything that hit me made me stronger, though—
What was done to me, now it’s done for me, fo’ sho’.

FROM THE BOTTOMS OF MY SOUL
FROM THE BOTTOMS OF MY SOUL

Bottoms of My Soul

MOM 

Dead in the bed.
No one was coming.
The tears were burning.
The room was bright.
Not a soul in sight.


How can you leave her?
When will she come?
What happens next?
I think I must run.


I’m standing in the doorway,
heart pounding like a drum.
Trying to understand
what I’ve become.


Oh Mom…

the silence hit harder than the truth.
The world kept spinning without you.
I’m still learning what a child’s supposed to do.

Oh Mom…

I’m calling out through the years,
hands shaking, full of fear,
trying to find you
anywhere near.


Dead in the head.
No one is coming.
The tears are cooling.
The shadow is dark.
Your soul is a villain's mark.


How can you heal her?
When she died by a gun?
What happens next?
I think I am done.


There’s a weight on my chest
that I never outrun,
a story unfinished,
a war never won.


Oh Mom…

I replay the moment like a scar.
I keep wishing you weren’t so far.
Trying to live with who we are.

Oh Mom…

I still reach for you at night,
hoping you’ll step into the light
and tell me
we’re alright.


But pain keeps shifting,
and time keeps lifting,
and something in me
starts forgiving.


You are not dead.
You are finally coming.
Your tears are drying.
Polarities are running.
Your soul was right.


Oh Mom…

I feel you in the quiet of my breath,
in the spaces life left.
Your love didn’t die 
it just changed address.

(To my Mom, Kate. )

TICK TOCK

Rickity tick-tock
tickity tickity time is a wastin’
clock on the move, can’t get rid o’ me
Kick it 


Clock keep tickin’, tick-tock spinnin’ quicker 
Pressure on blast and the pulse get thicker
Runnin’ this race but the line done slipped
Rickity tick-tock—nah—this ain’t the place I quit

Don’t cut in line, I put work in this 
Don’t shove me aside like I don’t exist 
I’m standin’ firm, I’m here for the stay 
Better step back, I don’t play that way 

Rickity tick-tock
tickity tick—she don’t stop 


Panic creepin’, but the sun still shines
Doom on deck with the twisted signs
Vision gettin’ fuzzy, whispers in the dark
Missed every warning but I still hit the mark

Why’d you leave me fightin’ solo
Built you up just to serve the goal—yo
Don’t tap out, we ain’t close to done
Act like you love it—pretend it’s fun

Tick-tock—tickity-tock
time tryin’ to play me. 

Rickity tick-tock
girl, stay ready


No! (NO!)
I ain’t fallin’ in line

No! (NO!)
My will still prime

Fight! (FIGHT!)
I’ll fight to the breath

You? (YOU!)
Just like the rest

Rickity—TICK TOCK 
Tickity tickity—CLOCK ROCK


But wait—who’s the one I’m facin’
Who’s that ghost I been steady chasin’
Can’t see clear but the truth appear
It’s YOU, all along, behind these years

Masculine mirror in a feminine frame
Blamin’ the world but you chose that game
Coulda conformed but you threw that projection
These are YOUR roads, yeah—your own direction

Rickity tick-tock—truth hittin’ nonstop
tickity tickity—like a bomb drop


Tick—tock—slow it down now
Feel that shift when you take your crown now
Ain’t no rush—you prime—you aligned
Rickity tick-tock—welcome to your timeline


Clock slowin’ down, feel the peace unwind
Pressure fade back into old past times
You ain’t behind—you redesigned
Baby, you landin’ in your own divine time

Rickity tick-tock—tickity tick
yeah… that’s synergy, baby 

Tick-tock—RICKITY!

Bottoms of My Soul

The Dirt Codes

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