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Roll and Go

Problem

Brisbane Harbour

Dusty Ground

Victory Square

Grace O'malley

NSFW

Accept My Shaft

Strawberries and Cream

Shredded Metal

Dick and Kitten 


Our Dick fancies himself a proper geezer, see?
(Yeeeaaah)
Gotta show off in front of his mates.
A flash motor, his old man's credit card, baggy trousers like a twat.
That's the ticket to success. (Oi!)

But there's always a bleedin' hitch, innit?
He's got issues, mate. Com-ple-xes!
Couldn't chat up a decent bird on his own.
To a proper fit chick. (Awww, Dick!)

So it's either wankin' off or taking the piss outta his useless chums.
'Cause every single time he tries to tell her:
"Alright, Darlin'?"
This is what the slag always fires back:
"Go practice snoggin' a bleedin' tomato, ya muppet."
"And don't forget what to do with that apple pie, you hear?"
"Cheerio, then! Bollocks!"

Oi, look at 'im. A proper knob. Thinks he's the dog's bollocks with his shiny shoes. What a state.

Our Dick used to throw a tantrum, said all women were slags.
Said he didn't believe in bloody love. And that he had a proper sort in the next estate over.
('Cause she's a ghost, mate. A proper myth, you see!)
Until he bumped into that hussy, Kitten.

Ohhh, that bitch knew exactly how to rinse his dad's plastic.
(Yeah, she did!)
He was chuffed 'cause before that, all he ever heard was...

So it's either wankin' off or taking the piss outta his useless chums.
'Cause every single time he tries to tell her:
"Alright, Darlin'?"
This is what the slag always fires back:
"Go practice snoggin' a bleedin' tomato, ya muppet."
"And don't forget what to do with that apple pie, you hear?"
"Cheerio, then! Bollocks!"

Well, personally, I'm dead chuffed for Dick and Kitten.
They're well suited, them two. A proper pair of wankers.
Each to their own, I suppose.
Nothing in this life comes for free, does it?
And in this particular story? Not even love.



Problem

The Dreadnoughts

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