everything playing in my head
burns like the shots i take before work
just so i can go about my day
without being reminded of your shirt
you left in my bed

im a collector of memories, i save every message and picture
so i can look at them and puke
and think about what we once were

im glad you never got my letter
but hope you never forget us together
cuz now you sing a different tune but
i know what you did in the bathroom

voices in my head
and youre the reason why
and all the stupid things i do 
my devotion to you remains true

everyone says we’re too alike
but its because i turned into you
if we cant be together
i might as well just become you
so we are in my mind
at least that can never leave me

and i thought i was clingy until
20 missed calls in one night
so i spent all my cash to book a flight
for someone who turns out did the same for another

i was just your rehab
to get better for some new girl
hopefully she’s actually your type
but who else would you watch wrestling with

im begging you please
dont hang up when i fall asleep
i need you when you’re not here
you don’t want me when i am

i know you dont care enough to hear this
i dont think i really mattered anyway
i would die for you
but not before i kill you first

insane lovers 
who just murder each other
give you the sheet while i
lay under the covers
i wonder what it would be like
if we actually made it
i wonder what you’d think if
you saw me naked

would you see your name carved in my skin?
i wish that i could feel your skin 
even if its just for one more night
we can do all the drugs you like

you never got me anything for my birthday
i was always your dirty little secret
all the time ive spent id spend more
and all the money i sent i would send more

cried for you on the bathroom floor
you’ll think its bad but you’ll never feel as much as i did
i know i am just a stupid whore
you’re the worst and best thing i could ever ask for
dreams and nightmares 
i see your face in both
i refuse to acknowledge the last time we spoke
i refuse to acknowledge anything
so i pour another glass
and light another smoke

the barnes and noble bathroom

bleeding cuts
give me a rush
i was crying
but it looks like blush
what id do to feel your
touch 
again

you crashed the car
on the way home
i wish that i died
so id leave you alone
all the things i never said
i wish you wouldve known
all the songs i wrote about you
i should have never shown

never been a fan
of one night stands
i want you to be obsessed with me
i want you to hold my hand
forever and ever
but ill probably see you never
again

i threw out my old mattress 
laid on it naked one last time
i got flashbacks
to us doing lines
keep all of my lies
in the confines of your mind
where ill live in peace
and youll find yours in mine

was i really dishonest
if i meant it in the moment
actions mean more than words
and you never showed it
you always left me to get loaded
the pain you left is candy coated

maybe we are perfect
maybe we are perfect
you'll never know
you'll never know
unless we find out
unless we find out
i can keep a secret
i can keep a secret

mattress

i remember when you told me when you died on your kitchen floor
they had to bring you back to life and now your hearts left sore
the fact you still woke up shook you to your core
and now you're here begging me for more
that i cant give to you
look somewhere else
because i cant do shit for you
fucking pussy

hunter (bonus track)

im at the fumigation station
i cant wait to get your call
but im too shy to answer
so ill leave it to the machine
i like the smell of chemicals
more than having dreams
but i guess its a 2 for 1
im getting sleepy now sorry if im no fun
gasoline and floor cleaner 
just might be my favorites
do you have any recommendations?
ill drink it all and savor it

my body is a temple
i gotta keep it fueled
i gotta keep it shiny
i gotta keep it new
dont be surprised if i glow in the dark
when you see me nude
ship me a bottle of windex
its sure to boost my mood

you can keep your food
just hand me the glue
i need synthetic man-made tools
nuclear waste got me lookin like a ghoul
chowin down on some good ol lead
i think my brain ran away from my head
i got poison control on speed dial
pump my stomach and then ill do it again
i shouldnt be trusted in the supply aisle
my home depot receipts run on for miles
ask me about my stomach bile
ill give you a big bleached decaying smile

im immune to all disease
i survived on just chlorine
daily shots of listerine
my basements such a pristine scene

you should come over and visit sometime
i got a charcuterie board and pinesol lemon lime
baby i can make you shine
lets overdose and intertwine
dont worry about me ill be fine
chugging this sweet 409

i keep trying to make shit happen in empty spaces
i cant stop shaking 
i am overly medicated
22 hours of the day i am sedated
thats why i carry coke in all of my briefcases

transparent quartz
i can see you're still jaded
dont know which version i like
you have multiple faces
people like my black sneakers with the pink shoelaces
but compliments arent enough
i wanna be degraded

you impressed my mother with all of your social graces
now i lost you again 
hit reset
it erases

jaded

she is the sweetest brown eyed daughter
the world has ever seen
fate already decided since she was 13
they will pay for what they took from you
nobodys ever really sorry
when they hurt you to begin with
nobodys ever really sorry

she sees faces of ones she once loved
hidden in the patterns
only fragments of memories
the cheap glass has shattered

you try to sing your song
but you forgot the words
everything you do is wrong
but in the end youre still god

you were raised to be immaculate 
then all your teeth fell out
hide them under your pillow
im sure no one will find out

whisked away by a semi-automatic smile
with inauthentic charms
just do what youre told
tell yourself they mean no harm

youre addicted to the way they make you feel stupid
attempts to impress them with your knowledge are useless
nobody ever listens
they make it about themselves
but i guess you're no different

if i used every metaphor in the language
it still wouldnt help me get my point across
you said you would fix yourself and try to change it
failed self-fulfilled prophecy at a loss

ill shoot you in the heart
im never bored
i always got them lining up
they want some more
i want to kill you in your sleep
push you down the stairs
nobody would miss you
they wouldnt care

visions flashing
shaking and sweating
wet and cold just like a pig
my bones are breaking
i slaughtered myself
put me in a box
but theyd still use me as their toy
it never stops

so plump and bountiful
my fruition
suburban crucifixion 
your home is a prison
every time you flee its like christ has risen
punch you in the gifted mouth
oral fixation

you had too much to offer
so much potential 
but you wasted yourself
now go hurt someone else
it feels like ecstasy hearing you cry
does me better than any pill i could ever try

kill yourself and your gods
just craft a new version
one that isnt inflicted with sad perversion
i always feel like im being watched
they laugh at my misery
i am botched

self-fulfilling prophecy

we have come to fart and we have come to party.

Tracks by FART PARTY