There’s somethin very wrong
There’s somethin out of place
Forgive me if I say so, sir
But it’s somethin bout your face
Your cheeks they are quite naked
Your chin is silky smooth
I’m sorry sir, it’s just not right
I have to tell the truth

You may be fearless and peerless, it’s true
But as long as you’re beardless, sir, I can’t fully respect you

BEARDLESS RIKER BEARDLESS RIKER
BEARDLESS RIKER BEARDLESS RIKER OI OI OI
BEARDLESS RIKER BEARDLESS RIKER
HE’S FEARLESS AND PEERLESS AND BEARDLESS

You may send me to sick bay, sir
When I tell you how I feel
Your lack of beard, it freaks me out
The whole world seems unreal
I beg of you, by season two
Please cease your beardless ways  
You’ll have a dignified visage
And sex appeal for days

You may be fearless and peerless, it’s true
But as long as you’re beardless, sir, I can’t fully respect you

BEARDLESS RIKER BEARDLESS RIKER
BEARDLESS RIKER BEARDLESS RIKER OI OI OI
BEARDLESS RIKER BEARDLESS RIKER
HE’S FEARLESS AND PEERLESS AND BEARDLESS

FEARLESS AND PEERLESS AND BEARDLESS
FEARLESS AND PEERLESS AND BEARDLESS
FEARLESS AND PEERLESS AND BEARDLESS
FEARLESS AND PEERLESS AND BEARDLESS

Beardless Riker

Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine have the same number of syllables
Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine take just as long to say

The Oxford English Dictionary says
An abbreviation is a shortened word or phrase
Intended for ease of writing or speech
So given that fact, can anyone tell me

Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine have the same number of syllables
Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine take just as long to say

Today I got into an internet argument
This sexist troll tryna mansplain star trek
He says that DS9 beats next generation
But for this fallacy he had no explanation

Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine have the same number of syllables
Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine take just as long to say
Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine have the same number of syllables
Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine take just as long to say
They take just as long to say
Just as long to say
Just as long to say
They take just as long to say

Why Do They Call It DS9 On Deep Space Nine?

Are you fully versatile 
	in the ways of life
Or are you just pretending 
	to be alive?
Are you fully functional 
	in the ways of love
Or are you just pretending 	
	to be a man?
 
A meteor shower is raining 
	on us
Will we survive?
 
Touch me with your
	android fingers
Make me feel alive
 
Do you feel existential dread
	about existence?
Or are you just functioning
	within established parameters
 
Can you feel my skin
	When it’s next to yours 
Or do my cells only compute
	As sensory input
 
I’ve never felt something
	Quite like this
Fire in my veins
 
This gas will soon 
	evaporate 
Fuck me, before it’s too late

Hey Data, report to the bridge
We need your beautiful
Android brain for the mission 
Data, inebriation’s a human condition, so get with it
Hey Data, we need ya
Fully functional

Fully Functional

Sending an away team, huh? How typical
Gosh, I wonder how this is gonna play out

The transporter malfunctioned
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He pissed off a Klingon
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He got some kinda space disease
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He drank too much Romulan ale
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD

God dammit, Jim
God dammit, Jim
God dammit, Jim
God dammit, Jim

The tractor beam broke down
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He tried to shave with a phaser
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He put on a red shirt
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He’s worse than dead, his mind is gone
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD

Oh, what’s that? The away team is in trouble?
They require medical attention?
Gosh, knock me over with a fucking mouse fart, why doncha
It’s not like this kinda thing happens around here every god damn week or somethin
God dammit, Jim

The warp drive had a meltdown
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He joined a space hippie cult
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He tripped on a tribble
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
God dammit Jim, I can’t keep up
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD

He’s dead (he’s dead) he’s dead (he’s dead)
He’s dead (he’s dead) he’s dead (he’s dead)
He’s dead (he’s dead) he’s dead (he’s dead)
God dammit, Jim
That motherfucker’s dead

This Is Warpcore EP

God Dammit, Jim (He's Dead He's Dead)

O Star Trek
Star Trek
Star Trek
Star Trek

With Captain Kirk and Mister Spock
And Leonard Bones McCoy
And Uhura and Scotty and Chekov and Sulu
They will trek across the stars and into your heart

O Stark Trek
Star Trek

The Feedback Loops