Written by Christian Inman and Kai Warrior
Produced by Bryn Bliska (@brynbliska)
Mixed by Bryn Bliska (@brynbliska)
Mastered by Piper Payne (@lacqueristhebestmedicine) at @infrasonicsound

I should be down at the mall with my friends
Talking about their boyfriends
Obsessing over how the world might end
Instead I’m glued to this thing in my hand
Sinking deeper into this quicksand
I never know when to turn it off, off, off
Can you pull me back up again

And I’ve been doing everything that I was told to do
To make myself look good for you
I’m sick and tired of lying to myself
Oh

I’m not what you pictured me to be
No it’s not worth lying I’m just tried to be someone that I’m not trying to be
Be someone I wasn’t meant to be 
I’m sorry, but I can’t change that
I’m not what you pictured me to

I should turn off my phone but I’m stuck scrolling again
I can’t not envy that girls on my screen
They’re who I want to be
I wish we could see the truth
Behind the mask
Show us the truth that
It’s not picture perfect, no
The facade is working

And I’ve been doing everything that I was told to do
To make myself look good for you
I’m sick and tired of lying to myself
Oh

I’m not what you pictured me to be
No it’s not worth lying I’m just tried to be someone that I’m not trying to be
Be someone I wasn’t meant to be 
I’m sorry, but I can’t change that
I’m not what you pictured me to be
I’m not what you pictured me to be
I’m not what you pictured me to...

Pick yourself off the ground
Act like you do when no one's around
We are not turning back now
I think it’s time to put my phone down….

“Okay, so something like…”
I’m not what you pictured me to be
No it’s not worth lying I’m just tried to be someone that I’m not trying to
Be someone I wasn’t meant to be 
I’m sorry, but I can’t change that
I’m not what you pictured me to

The Future Perfect Project: Not What You Pictured

Not What You Picture

Not What You Pictured

Written by Delia Hughes
Produced by Thomas Varner (@_thomasvarner)
Mixed by Thomas Varner (@_thomasvarner)
Mastered by Piper Payne (@lacqueristhebestmedicine) at @infrasonicsound

When I kissed her 
On New Years 
Did you look away? 

Normally with her I feel free 
But when I knew your eyes were watching  
My heart dropped 

I’m not what you wanted 
I guess I’m not what I saw for me either
Will you let that go with me
‘Cause I still hear your voice saying no no no no no no

Took me back to when I sat on my floor and sobbed 
Wondering if you’d come to my wedding 
Would you sit in the front row
Wondering if you’d show
Your friends pictures 
When they ask how we are 
Does everyone go through this? 
‘Cause you feel so far (you feel so far)

A hundred psychics could tell I’m right
That I know who I am
But one word from you 
I’m crumbling, I can’t stand 
I can’t stand

I’m not what you wanted 
I guess I’m not what I saw for me either
Will you let that go with me
‘Cause I still hear your voice saying no no no no no no

I feel like I’ve been lying
‘Cause no one knew 
I was crying 
No

I’m not what you wanted 
I guess I’m not what I saw for me either
Will you let that go with me
‘Cause I still hear your voice saying no no no no no no

I’m not what you wanted 
Will you let that go with me 
Please

let that go

Written by Ruby Pine
Produced by Thomas Varner (@_thomasvarner)
Mixed by Thomas Varner (@_thomasvarner)
Mastered by Piper Payne (@lacqueristhebestmedicine) at @infrasonicsound

When I was young
I had a pink plastic crown
I played pretend
I’d close my eyes and spin around
In my head
A princess singing melodies and dancing under cherry trees
Oh, but Disney on repeat, they weren’t meant for me

There’s no place in once upon a time
For the woman loving woman line
They say that we can’t be,
But I just wanna see me

If I had a wish on a star I’d be that princess with a princess by my side (princess by my side)
She’d grab my hands, pull me fast through the castle, leave nothing behind
(Leave nothing behind, whoah)
But when the clock strikes midnight, sunset skies disappear
‘Cause without a pink, white, and orange sky we were never here

I’ve grown up
And I’ve learned to see (I have learned to see)
A magic kingdom
Running with two queens (running with two queens)

There’s no place in once upon a time
For the woman loving woman line
They say that we can’t be,
But I just wanna see me

If I had a wish on a star I’d be that princess with a princess by my side (princess by my side)
She’d grab my hands, pull me fast through the castle, leave nothing behind
(Leave nothing behind, leave nothing behind)
But when the clock strikes midnight, sunset skies disappear
‘Cause without a pink, white, and orange sky we were never here

There’s no place in once upon a time
For woman loving woman lines
Say the kinds at home are fine
But in their heads you’ve asked them to change
Ahhhhhh

A wish on a star
If I had a wish on a star I’d be that princess with a princess by my side (princess by my side)
She’d grab my hands, pull me fast through the castle, leave nothing behind 
(Leave nothing behind leave nothing behind)
But when the clock strikes midnight, sunset skies disappear
Come sit and watch stars replace sunlight
Might not get sunset on every night
But we’ll paint a pink, white, and orange sky, we belong here

once upon a time

Written by Elias Brix, Alysia Macias, Daniel Cruz
Produced by Elias Brix, Evan Linsey (@linsey.me)
Mixed by Evan Linsey (@linsey.me)
Mastered by Piper Payne (@lacqueristhebestmedicine) at @infrasonicsound

Daniel:
Prepare to meet your match, baddest of the batch 
You ain’t got nothing on me, you aint got my sleek and shine 
Oh I’m not what you thought? You seem kinda distraught 
Not from your generation, it’s my turn to live my prime 

Living oh so free, hair blowing with the breeze 
You got issues with who? ‘Cause that sure as hell ain’t me
Shake it from side to side, keep this ponytail up high 
I pull up with no script, never stutter never lie 

And if you’re here with me 
And if you’re feeling me 
Just put your worries away 
Long hair vibes everyday 
And if you’re here with me 
And if you’re feeling me 
Just put your worries away 
Long hair vibes everyday 

AJ:
Grow my hair out to like three feet 
I don’t really care ‘cause no one knows me 
Go ahead and stare, I know what I want and what I want is long hair 

Daniel:
And if you’re here with me 
AJ:
(All I want is long hair)
Daniel:
And if you’re feeling me 
Just put your worries away 
Long hair vibes everyday 

And if you’re here with me 
And if you’re feeling me 
Just put your worries away 
Long hair vibes everyday 

I wanna be the best of the best, impress 
Wanna see the way they turn their heads when I dress up
They looking at me from the ground cause I’m up 
You know I’m never coming down 
Long hair don’t care, look at how it flows in the summer hot air 
Yeah I’m feeling fine and it doesn’t kill my vibe when you speak your vile lies
Get your hair as long as mine 

I’m living oh so free, hair blowing with the breeze 
You got issues with who? ‘Cause that sure as hell ain’t me
Shake it from side to side, keep this ponytail up high 
I pull up with no script, never stutter never lie
 
I’m living oh so free, hair blowing with the breeze 
You got issues with who? ‘Cause that sure as hell ain’t me
Shake it from side to side, keep this ponytail up high 
I pull up with no script, never stutter never lie 

AJ:
Mr. or a Mrs. doesn’t matter
The way you look or dress isn’t a factor
Go ahead and stare, I know what I want and what I want is long hair 

AJ:
Long hair
Daniel:
And if you’re here with me 
AJ:
Hair
Daniel:
And if you’re feeling me
AJ:
Long hair
Daniel: 
Just put your worries away 
Long hair vibes everyday 
AJ:
Long hair
Daniel:
And if you’re here with me 
AJ:
I want long hair
Daniel:
And if you’re feeling me
Just put your worries away 
AJ:
Long hair
Daniel:
Long hair vibes everyday

AJ:
Long hair
Long hair
Long hair 
Long hair

Long hair
Mmmmm
Long hair
Long hair

Long Hair

Written by Daniel Cruz
Produced by Evan Linsey (@linsey.me)
Mixed by Evan Linsey (@linsey.me)
Mastered by Piper Payne (@lacqueristhebestmedicine) at @infrasonicsound

You have put me down for far too long 
Come morning sun and I’ll be gone 
You can take your words and tie them around my neck so I won’t forget how 
You did me wrong 
 
You think that you can read me 
Think you’ve got the best of me, no 
You tore me 
You hurt me but I 
 
I know who I am 
And it’s not what they had planned but they 
Still don’t understand 
 
Seems to me the judgement just gets worse 
They cover their eyes, block out the words 
And everyone around me expects me to 
Be like them but what they forget is 
Their words cause hurt 
 
But don’t you let them scare you 
They can’t say what you think of you 
Come through, let them see your light 
 
I know who I am 
And it’s not what they had planned but they 
Still don’t understand no
My blood is falling from their hands 
And it’s not what they had planned but they 
Still don’t understand 
 
Is this for better or for worse? 
Loving him isn’t a curse, loving him isn’t a curse no
I will write and scream the words 
Loving him isn’t a curse, loving him isn’t a curse 
 
I know who I am 
And it’s not what they had planned but they 
Still don’t understand 
My blood is falling from their hands 
And it’s not what they had planned but they 
Still don’t understand
Whoah
Ohhhh
I know who I am

Who I Am

Written by Katelyn Handy
Produced by Bryn Bliska (@brynbliska)
Mixed by Bryn Bliska (@brynbliska)
Mastered by Piper Payne (@lacqueristhebestmedicine) at @infrasonicsound

Private school girl grew up in religion  
Every time she talked nobody listened  
Always raised her hand and had something to say  

Student government a real go getter  
Teacher’s pet, oldest child, no room for error  
The real her hidden, covered, and tucked away 

Life all planned out 
What’s your plan now? 

Traded in my knee length skirt for a suit 
Traded in my scriptures for gay YouTube 
I’m not going back, I know who I am, I’m not confused  
I traded in my cross for a pronoun pin 
Traded in church for a "life of sin" 
I’m choosing the right for the person I’ve turned into 

Private school girl performs at Pride 
Left the church and the old her behind 
Found a group of people to call her family 

Unlearned all the judgement she was taught 
Decorated with all the rainbows she bought 
Look what happens when you’re finally free 

Got my plan now 
I’ll show you how 

I traded in my knee length skirt for a suit 
Traded in my scriptures for gay YouTube 
I’m not going back, I know who I am, I’m not confused (I’m not confused) 
I traded in my cross for a pronoun pin 
Traded in church for a "life of sin" 
I’m choosing the right for the person I’ve turned into 
  
I felt so alone, nothing was home, just trying to get by 
Darkness was creeping in took the light right out my eyes 
No longer alone, I found my home, it was inside 
If your story sounds like mine, know that you have nothing to hide 

I traded in my knee length skirt for a suit 
Traded in my scriptures for gay YouTube 
I’m not going back, I know who I am, I’m not confused (I’m not confused)
I traded in my cross for a pronoun pin 
Traded in church for a "life of sin" 
I’m choosing the right for the person I’ve turned into 
Oooh

Written by Kai Warrior and Christian Inman
Produced by Evan Linsey (@linsey.me)
Mixed by Evan Linsey (@linsey.me)
Mastered by Piper Payne (@lacqueristhebestmedicine) at @infrasonicsound

Kai
[that's like the only stereotype for cancers, is that they cry]
You called me up
To say you missed me
I hate it when you get like this
Always makes me cry
 
I changed your name in my phone
And I thought that'd be the last time
That I cried over something
That wasn't for me
Lets not lie
You were never really good for me
 
[i just- I don't think I miss her anymore]
 
I'm done making excuses for you
Next time you call I won't try and see it through
No, I didn't trust you
I lied to love you
 
Christian:
You called my bluff
You're right, I lied right straight through my teeth
guess I'm stuck
Without you next to me
I know I showed you something
That wasn't real
I thought that I wasn't cool enough
Wasn't good enough for you
 
I tried to fix me
I tried and tried
But you I ended up hurting
 
Kai and Christian:
I'm done making excuses for you
Next time you call I won't try and see it through, no
I didn't trust you
I lied to love you
 
Kai:
Now I'll be honest 
To move on
It’s honestly overdue, love
You'll never choose me
Isn't that right?
No, there's no promise 
To come through on
Just promise me you'll stay in touch when we move on
I lied to love you and I love to be right
I never needed you
Did I?

i lied to love you

Written by Michael Stolar
Produced by Hannah Tobias (@_w_h_y_s_ / @hannahorbackwards)
Mixed by Hannah Tobias (@_w_h_y_s_ / @hannahorbackwards)
Mastered by Piper Payne (@lacqueristhebestmedicine) at @infrasonicsound

Took me a while
To feel this good in my own skin
Years of suppression turned into oppression
Emotional cage I was locked in
Now I’m ready to smile
At least when I’m looking at you boy
My imagination makes fake situations
But I can tell you’re acting coy
 
And it’s easy to say but it’s harder to do
That’s always the way that it is with the truth 
Gotten through the tough part you can do it too
 
But I know you want to resist
You say ignorance is bliss
But you don’t need to know it all 
Don’t need to know a thing
We can experiment
Call it summer fling
Give me a chance and 
I’ll give you my everything
I bet you think about our kiss
You don’t have to resist, no
You don’t have to know what this is, no
You don’t have to resist
Oh oooh don’t resist it, no
 
Took you a while
To realize you had these feelings
We could be together it could be forever
But your heart is still barely healing
Cuz you’re still in denial
Wish there was a way I could show you
The world we could live in is good with you in it
One day I hope you can break through
 
Cuz it’s easy to say but it’s harder to do
That’s always the way that it is with the truth and I know, and I know you’ll get through it too
 
But I know you want to resist
You say ignorance is bliss
But you don’t need to know it all 
Don’t need to know a thing
We can experiment
Call it summer fling
Give me a chance and 
I’ll give you my everything
I bet you think about our kiss
You don’t have to resist, no
You don’t have to know what this is, no
You don’t have to resist
 
You don’t need to hide it
You don’t need to hide it
You don’t need to fight it 
You don’t need to fight it
No you don’t need to hide it
You don’t need to hide it
Cuz I’ll be right beside ya
 
Cuz I know you want to resist
You say ignorance is bliss
But you don’t need to know it all 
Don’t need to know a thing
We can experiment
Call it summer fling
Give me a chance and 
I’ll give you my everything
I bet you think about our kiss
You don’t have to resist, no
You don’t have to know what this is, no
You don’t have to resist
 
I know you wanna resist
I know you wanna
I, I know you think of our kiss

Resist

Written by Alysia Macias
Produced by Hannah Tobias (@_w_h_y_s_ / @hannahorbackwards)
Mixed by Hannah Tobias (@_w_h_y_s_ / @hannahorbackwards)
Mastered by Piper Payne (@lacqueristhebestmedicine) at @infrasonicsound

She isn’t anything I planned  
But I still asked to hold their hand 
In the rain in California 
 
My palms were sweaty when I thought 
Of preacher’s kids and guilt of god 
Telling me that I’m not normal 
 
My resentment’s off the charts and my confusion’s in the dark 
One more year and I won’t have to play this part 

I will not be that kind of girl 
My lines are straight my hair is curled 
My favorite color will be pink I’ll have a boy when I’m 18 
I’d never fathom all these thoughts 
My personality is gone 
But then they picked me up and put me down (and put me down)
Before them I was lost but now I’m found 
And I found oh I found
My new normal
My new normal

Ignoring every social cue 
Starting off with something new 
And the freedom to be who I am 
Can finally like what’s in the mirror 
No longer live like I’m in fear 
Can finally know my worth and take a stand 
Thriving with a brand new start 
And in a place that loves my heart 
And I’m so happy I don’t have to play that part 

I will not be that kind of girl 
Whose lines are straight and hair is curled
My favorite color could be pink don’t care if I’ll have a boy when I’m 18 
I finally fathomed all these thoughts 
My personality’s not gone 
Because they picked me up and put me down (because they put me down)
Before them I was lost but now I’m found
And I found oh I found
My new normal 

My new normal
My new normal 
My new normal
My new normal
 
She isn’t anything I planned  
But I still asked to hold their hand 
In the rain in California

New Normal

A groundbreaking new podcast produced and hosted by a team of 11 young adults from all across North America. Join us for our debut season packed with storytelling, interviews, trivia, and thought-provoking discussions that center queer youth voices in the national conversation around LGBTQIA+ rights, culture, and activism. Executive produced by The Future Perfect Project. 

Visit the show page at http://www.thefutureperfectproject.org/podcast

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