Military -- kink? by Silvergirl
A Sherlock Holmes Story
Rated: Explicit
Summary: It’s fanon that Sherlock has a military kink. Well, what if he doesn’t? What if he's always had the opposite?
What if he had to get over an instinctive recoil when he realized that a. oh God John was it for him and b. oh fuck he was a soldier? Sherlock has a boatload of preconceptions about military personnel. So when John comes on to him at Angelo’s, he comes out with the “married to my work” line we’ve all regretted ever since.
All the prejudices Sherlock had to discard, one by one.
🧡on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58929865/chapters/150216232
Orignial Text: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57530110/chapters/146375113
Music: The Tin Soldiers by James Brett

Military -- kink?

Not so fast, soldier

It’s an accident
I’m  sure that’s what I said
And you’re believing it
Can’t you see the lines across my face?
Arrogance, necessity both have their place
I’m a self-styled expert in these things

I might wander the streets but
I’m not going anywhere

I can abide
The terror of the fire
If it keeps me dry
There’s movement.

It’s a consequence
Of falling at velocity
I hope you land in it
Braced for inevitability
Marred by bruises
Formed by natural conclusions
They’re not natural to me
And I’m an expert in these things

I may fall out of favor
But I won’t fall through the floor

I can abide
The terror of the fire
If it keeps me dry
There’s movement.

The path is unchanging
I Stand in the wake of  it
I cast with my burning hands
An ember into the wind


Abide

Once the pillar has fallen
There isn’t any getting it back
Getting it back
I held the world
In my shaky hands
And crushed it in my palms
All I wanted was you gone

Once the edges have softened
There’s no turning back
The evidence for e everything against us
I thought that I would have another chance at
A degradation on my own terms but

There’s too much to hold on in my head
I don’t know where I’m going next

Give in
Your worst impulses can sing you like a chorus
If it’s getting hot in here then
You should maybe check your exits
Give in
Sublimated rage you’ve taken out on innocents
Not to say that I am fully innocent
I just think we should be looking for an exit

If the villain is honest you can give him a name
You can recognize him staring in the mirror
Your can change your conscience on a whim or
You can stay the same
Is it a really a wonder that I’ve got your name
Inscribed across my back
I wear you like a badge of shame
Transmuting yesterdays

There are some things I left unsaid
I’ll hold them in until my death
My death

Give in
Your worst impulses can sing you like a chorus
If it’s getting hot in here then
You should maybe check your exits
Give in
Sublimated rage you’ve taken out on innocents
Not to say that I am fully innocent
I just think we should be looking for an exit

I lost track
I was at the threshold looking back
But I never liked what I saw
Or the act of looking at all
I marked maps
I was trapped inside topography but
If you come and witness me
I’m taking off
I’m not so lost.

Give in
Your worst impulses can sing you like a chorus
If it’s getting hot in here then
You should maybe check your exits
Give in
Sublimated rage you’ve taken out on innocents
Not to say that I am fully innocent
I just think we should be looking for an exit

Exits

I think the one  you’re having problems with
Well he isn’t really here
I thought we had an understanding
Can’t you see between my ears?
It’s both a blessing and a curse
Cause i can catch you by surprise
But that is all assuming i want
To catch you by surprise
Caught many times for what i thought
Was just an innocent  mistake
Nobody’s hurt when I turn words
Into another passion play
Assuming nobody is someone
Because I set it up that way
But I can downplay all the shifting eyes
And just shift them away

Because it is tough
Here in the moment 
While I am roughin’ it
In the cold

I think the desperation’s found a place
To get its hooks inside
I’m not the one that’s shooting daggers
Because i t’s not my turn to hide
Too many times to count, I counted
And i checked when i was through
Knew  every inch of sagging skin
That I  could take calipers to
So tell me why in trying times
The  world  seems to get so clear
I cannot buy enough discretion 
To get me out of here
And if my hands can show a trade
Then these hands might suit me well
Bash my skull against the wall
Until I repeat myself

Because it is tough
Here in the moment 
While I am roughin’ it
In the cold

And I’ll take
Like it’s never been taken back
And you’ll  need more
Than good directions
To get to where I’m at

Because it is tough
Here in the moment 
While I am roughin’ it
In the cold


Good Directions

Even now
I’m thinking about how I could use you
I might have to sabotage myself
Hey, didn’t we used to make music?
The bones in my ears
Are swinging back and forth
And back and forth
They think that you should hear this
Hey, didn’t we used to make music?

I’m confused.

Because what is the point
Of what we make up?
What is the point?
Is there something in-between us?
What is the point
Of what we make up?
Is the philosophy stuck in our teeth
Just a way to stave off eternity?
(Yes)

Even now
I’m trying to bastardize myself
You probably shouldn’t let me do this
Didn’t we used to make music?
The bones in my ears
Have never afforded me a decent sleep
They think that you should hear this
Hey, didn’t we used to make music?

Back and forth and back and forth and
Back and forth and back. 

So, what is the point
Of what we make up?
What is the point?
Is there something in-between us?
What is the point
Of what we make up?
Is the philosophy stuck in our teeth
Just a way to stave off eternity?
(Yes)

What is the point? 
What is the point?

So, what is the point
Of what we make up?
What is the point?
Is there something in-between us?
What is the point
Of what we make up?
Is the philosophy stuck in our teeth
Just a way to stave off eternity?
(Yes)


The Bones In My Ears

Control was the
Only goal
For awhile
I spent my time
Waist deep in
White knuckles

And for following
Every rule
For every mile
What i received
Was a nod
And a smile

And nothing could have ever been good enough
I think that that’s something that hope does to us

Made it a point
To remember
Every word
So easy to
Disappoint
“I don’t remember
What I meant”

And for following
Every rule
For every mile
What i received
Was a nod
And a smile

And nothing could have ever been good enough
I think that that’s something that hope does to us


something hope does for us (demo)

I’m older now
Than you will ever be
I keep expecting
What came for you to come for me
I never eyed
Longevity
But I keep expecting
Inevitability to 
Comfort me

To comfort me
To come for me

A gunny sack
Filled with gasoline
I don't think I should close my eyes
I don’t think I should close my eyes
I don’t think
I don’t
It’s the other side
A necessity
I keep expecting something new to rise and
Comfort me

To comfort me
To come for me

It’s a warning sign
For depravity
My chest is tight
And now the time has come
I need you to
Comfort me

To comfort me
To come for me


comfort me (demo)

Simple math
It’s a simple test
They’ll cut the leg from under you
You were using it to rest
Terrified
Bloodshot eyes
Shot in the back, beat in the head
One too many times

Until you realize
The machinations of life
Reality’s a joke
The truth can sound contrived
Sometimes

I hope
That you are comfortable
And i hope
I can learn to get comfortable
Way too many nights
Laying on my side while i hope
I can learn to get comfortable

Too abstract
To mark on a map
You’ll wander so incessantly
And not know if it means anything
Mollified
Internal cries
The phantom pain of losing everything
When you haven’t yet lost anything

Dig deep and throw
The excess from the pit
I promise you the rest of us
Are all expecting it
Dig deep and throw
The excess from the pit
Everyone displaces dirt
The first to dig was scared at first
And everyone believes it’s them and them alone
Digging out a hole to make it home


Abide

GUIDE DOG

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