FAWM 2025

I was hoping
You’d lead me to the ocean
And I could pull you under there
It’s always been
Sink or swim
I was hoping
You’d render an emotion
 How terrible it must be
To be concerned 
All the time
About time
Time

Every chance is your last
Put some muscle in it
Put your goddamn
  
Back into it
Feel the freedom of your obligation
Back into it
Held in place by the skin of your teeth
It would take a machine
To put the fear of god back into me

I was wretched
A little lie
A  sacrifice
I took what’s forsaken
Into my hands
You understand
I was letting you know
That the useful thoughts
Are the first to go
The rest  are waiting
For me to call t time
Because it’s about  time
About that time.

Every chance that you get
Bash your skull into it
Put your goddamn

Back into it
Feel the freedom of your obligation
Back into it
Held in place by the skin of your teeth
It would take a machine
To put the fear of god back into me

How cruel that they coddled you
It would take a machine to break the news
How cruel that they coddled you
It  would take a m machine, construction fee’s on me


Back Into It

I found some comfort in letting it slip away
I took what  i needed and  called it an escape
I needed someone to hold me down and explain
It was always meant to be this way
The childish stories we tell about ourselves
Worrying that I’m worrying someone else
I wanted someone to ask if I’m okay
So that I’d admit to anything

So many ideas
You could build a graveyard  here
I was spurned by my
Lust for life

You know there’s little that can sate my appetite
But I didn't come here merely to stuff my face
But if the table’s set
And a  spot is open
And it looks inviting
I’ll keep my jaw agape

I made an altar but it was disposable
I  made a promise not to let you sleep
But now  the sun is out
And your eyes are open
But there’s no one  home
Hey, are you awake?




Lust For Life

Lost my brain cells in an experiment
You think i’d regret it
But I can’t remember because
I’ve got it all
Lost my train of thought by accident
now I can’t assure myself that I exist
But I’ve got got it all

Fiction can 
Slap the hands of providence
Leave me wanting what i have and more
Function
Orders every element
Vacuum of the evidence
Abhorred

Found an easy way to distract
Until the me that is that train of thought  is dead
I’ve got it all
He had it all
Researching myself on the internet
Learned that I might be eating when I don’t know that I am
I’ve got it all

Consumed
What was put in front of me
Like scarcity is someone else’s chore
Exhumed
Markers for uncertainty
The fire of stochasticity 
Will keep me warm


I've Got It All

Lately I’ve been holding  up
A semaphore  
And hoping you could read me
Tired arms that hopefully
Are pointing in the right direction now
Nasty work  if you can get it
I’ve thrown out my back
Like I’m supposed to
In case of emergency
Just hold the biggest parts of me aloft

I wish that there was time
To wither on the vine
But I am waiting for the words
To do their job

 Lately I’ve been tapping toes
And blinking eyes like I’ve been taken hostage
Crushed under a century of
People who knew how to make a point
And I’ll admit when I am wrong
I thought that if I packaged it all nicely
That I would be immune
To the pitfalls I excel at pointing out

I wish there was a way
Meaningfulness could stay
But the vessel that I’m on
Is taking off

Flaghoist
A voice
Too long
Wind breaks
Attempts
At song


I wish I had the thought
Back when when the line was taut
But the respite that I earned
Is leaking out
I wish that you could sense
The meaning that I meant
But meaningful semantics
Have run out.


Semaphore

It’s an accident
I’m  sure that’s what I said
And you’re believing it
Can’t you see the lines across my face?
Arrogance, necessity both have their place
I’m a self-styled expert in these things

I might wander the streets but
I’m not going anywhere

I can abide
The terror of the fire
If it keeps me dry
There’s movement.

It’s a consequence
Of falling at velocity
I hope you land in it
Braced for inevitability
Marred by bruises
Formed by natural conclusions
They’re not natural to me
And I’m an expert in these things

I may fall out of favor
But I won’t fall through the floor

I can abide
The terror of the fire
If it keeps me dry
There’s movement.

The path is unchanging
I Stand in the wake of  it
I cast with my burning hands
An ember into the wind


Abide

Until The Wheels Fall Off

Dogtooth

Once the pillar has fallen
There isn’t any getting it back
Getting it back
I held the world
In my shaky hands
And crushed it in my palms
All I wanted was you gone

Once the edges have softened
There’s no turning back
The evidence for e everything against us
I thought that I would have another chance at
A degradation on my own terms but

There’s too much to hold on in my head
I don’t know where I’m going next

Give in
Your worst impulses can sing you like a chorus
If it’s getting hot in here then
You should maybe check your exits
Give in
Sublimated rage you’ve taken out on innocents
Not to say that I am fully innocent
I just think we should be looking for an exit

If the villain is honest you can give him a name
You can recognize him staring in the mirror
Your can change your conscience on a whim or
You can stay the same
Is it a really a wonder that I’ve got your name
Inscribed across my back
I wear you like a badge of shame
Transmuting yesterdays

There are some things I left unsaid
I’ll hold them in until my death
My death

Give in
Your worst impulses can sing you like a chorus
If it’s getting hot in here then
You should maybe check your exits
Give in
Sublimated rage you’ve taken out on innocents
Not to say that I am fully innocent
I just think we should be looking for an exit

I lost track
I was at the threshold looking back
But I never liked what I saw
Or the act of looking at all
I marked maps
I was trapped inside topography but
If you come and witness me
I’m taking off
I’m not so lost.

Give in
Your worst impulses can sing you like a chorus
If it’s getting hot in here then
You should maybe check your exits
Give in
Sublimated rage you’ve taken out on innocents
Not to say that I am fully innocent
I just think we should be looking for an exit

Exits

It transcends
A  means to an end
And  falls apart
A  heavy head
And an equally
Heavy heart

I'm swallowing my silver tongue
The verdigris is in my lungs, so


Take care
Because none of you are here
And if I cannot see you
Then you do exist

Called a bluff
Held Aloft
And under wing
Signing off
From up here
I don't know what I've seen

Choked down an asymmetric curse
I can't tell which side is the worst so

Take care
Because none of you are here
And if I cannot see you
Then you do exist

I cannot see you.

Verdigris

I’m up to my neck
In counteroffers
I’m splitting open
I feel excluded
When I am reading
The future
I do this all the time
I’m tired of your warnings
An omen tells the time
You think I wouldn’t notice

The cycles were already  built in
You should have taken note  when you filled in

I’m already automatic
Don’t know who I am or what I did
But I know that I tore these walls down with my god damn
I don’t want to fight about it
I built a war machine and it gets hungry for me
It’ll beat you with its god damn
If you belonged then you would know
If there was any danger
Don’t  wanna get aggressive
But if I’m cornered I still know that it’s an option
I’ll beat you with my goddamn
Fists.

Dodged a nearly fatal
Encounter
With monsters invented to suffer
I get erased when
Replaced with
A  favorable model
I do this all the time
I’m tired of your warning
The battery ran dry
The gears are barely turning

But you didn’t see me kick the gear shaft
I’m patiently waiting for what’s left

I’m already automatic
Don’t know who I am or what I did
But I know that I tore these walls down with my god damn
I don’t want to fight about it
I built a war machine and you are not invited
It’ll beat you with your god damn
If you belonged then you would know
If there was any danger
Don’t wanna get aggressive
But if I’m cornered I still know that it’s an option
I’ll beat you with my goddamn
Fists.

And braver men than me
Never know that they’re machines.

I’m already automatic
Don’t know who I am or what I did
But I know that I tore these walls down with my god damn
I don’t want to fight about it
I built a war machine and it gets hungry for me
It’ll beat you with its god damn
If you belonged then you would know
If there was any danger
Don’t  wanna get aggressive
But if I’m cornered I still know that it’s an option
I’ll beat you with my goddamn
Fists.




Fists

I think the one  you’re having problems with
Well he isn’t really here
I thought we had an understanding
Can’t you see between my ears?
It’s both a blessing and a curse
Cause i can catch you by surprise
But that is all assuming i want
To catch you by surprise
Caught many times for what i thought
Was just an innocent  mistake
Nobody’s hurt when I turn words
Into another passion play
Assuming nobody is someone
Because I set it up that way
But I can downplay all the shifting eyes
And just shift them away

Because it is tough
Here in the moment 
While I am roughin’ it
In the cold

I think the desperation’s found a place
To get its hooks inside
I’m not the one that’s shooting daggers
Because i t’s not my turn to hide
Too many times to count, I counted
And i checked when i was through
Knew  every inch of sagging skin
That I  could take calipers to
So tell me why in trying times
The  world  seems to get so clear
I cannot buy enough discretion 
To get me out of here
And if my hands can show a trade
Then these hands might suit me well
Bash my skull against the wall
Until I repeat myself

Because it is tough
Here in the moment 
While I am roughin’ it
In the cold

And I’ll take
Like it’s never been taken back
And you’ll  need more
Than good directions
To get to where I’m at

Because it is tough
Here in the moment 
While I am roughin’ it
In the cold


Good Directions

Time is a mess of circumstance
Be sure
You don’t let it get to you
And I raised my hands
In armistice 
Be sure
You don’t let  it  get to you

Peace 
Peace is resting  up 
I for one
Am such a happy customer

And you can call
Whenever  there’s uncertainty
The type that got the best of me
You can call 
But know
When you are calling
Know that you are calling

I’m in repose atop every word
Be sure
You don’t let it get to you
My tongue is rusted through from honest work
Be sure
You don’t let it get to you

Rain
Isn’t letting up
But I for one
Am such a happy customer

And you can call
Whenever things get typical
Anything you’ve seen before
You can call
But know
Know that you are calling
Me


Such A Happy Customer

Hallowed out
I was haunted
By a failure 
Of  atonement
On a ruined pilgrimage
And the tenor
Just never matched 
How I'm on fire for a 
Need for absolution
I don’t believe in
Cause It is spent
Cast away into the ocean
Where the garbage  
Forms an island it’s

Last call
It’s last call
Fill up and get right with your god
Cause it’s

Washed out now
The sacred isn’t sacred enough
And what is left is
So immaculately wrong
I need to see it for myself to be sure

Full sprint
Arrange the leaves around it
The wound was sore
But it gets worse
Every time the weather changes
I will fall
Right in line with expectations
The ache gets worse
Every time
I do what I’m supposed to It’s

Last call
It’s last call
Fill up and get right with your god
Cause it’s

Washed out now
The sacred isn’t sacred enough
And what is left is
So immaculately wrong
I need to see it for myself to be sure


Last Call (To See Anything Sacred)

I never learned
The proper ways
And now the weight
Is pressing down
I thought i’d  be
In a more stable place
By  now
I’ll never stray
Though it may ache
Sometimes to put
The pen to page
No mistake
Is any end
Of any world

Gossamer thin
Such a small incision
Such an empty plenum
We’re working within
Gossamer thin
I promise I learned
Not to take for granted after 
So long
I wanted it 
So long
Gossamer thin
I count my blessings
And I count this occlusion
As one of them

I never earned
A proper stake
In any trade
And now that time
Is passing by
For slowing hands
It’s enough to slip away
I need to re-evaluate
With fresher eyes
Because no delight
Is any means
Unto itself
Except to find  

Gossamer thin
Such a small incision
Such an empty plenum
We’re working within
Gossamer thin
I promise I learned
Not to take for granted after 
So long
I wanted it 
So long
Gossamer thin
I count my blessings
And I count this occlusion
As one of them


FAWM 2025

GUIDE DOG