Dear Stacy...

Stacy- I've had a huge crush on you
Ever since I saw you earlier this summer at the pool
I really wish we were in the the same class at school-
But hey, I really like you, PS do you think I'm cool? 

Hey, hey Melissa, what can you tell me about Stacy?
She's really pretty, is she ready to start going steady?
Can you tell her I love her, and give her this candy-
I heard she likes hershey's bars- so I got her three

Stacy- I know we're soul mates, from our first date
Slow dancing at the dance, now we holding hands  
We both chug pixy sticks and love disney flicks
Let's take a chance on this kindergarten romance

Remember when we shared a twizzler? and met in the middle?
Or when we both barfed after riding on the Sizzler?
Eating eachothers'  skittles, naming our future kids,
Drinking chocolate milk watching Nickoledeon 

Stacy, can I get a date?   Would you like to see a movie or should we go skating?
I've got a big piggy bank, I’d empty it out for you Stacy
Stacy can I get a date?   I want to introduce you to my dad and mommy
I've got a pantry full of twinkies, I want to eat them with you Stacy

I guess I'm obsessed, I caress you to excess
Cuz you're my princess, wearing your best dress to recess
I get depressed whenever you're upset
If you broke it off wit me I'd put a cap gun to my head

but Look I've been noticing, things here, things there
maybe I'm just splitting hair, maybe its the nightmares
Stacy did you cheat on me?! I saw you trading toys
With a boy in the third grade,  saw her drink his lemonade

Stacy- who was that on the phone and why you gotta go?   
Stacy- why you keep looking out the window?
Stacy- is there someone else?  Tell me I need to know 
What's that stupid idiot got that I don't

Hey look guys, Stacy left a letter in my mailbox
It says she's done playing in her boyfriend's sandbox
She's got her eye, out for a guy
Who''ll rock her socks like  a barrage of Pop Rocks

Stacy, can I get a date Thursday or Friday, there's this movie playing at the Starlight
And Tuesday, I want to invite you, and your parents too, to my Blue's Clues party on a school night
Stacy what are you doing on the weekend, We could play Yachtzee or hide and go seek and 
Stacy, I'm in love with you, and I want you to, love me as much as I love you

Stacy why you gotta leave me?  Right before the party ?
To celebrate our one week anniversary?
No couple in  history's ever gone dat long
Without breaking up- we woulda been da first one!

Stacy please stop, give me another shot,
I'm proposing to you with a Ring Pop that I bought
from the money that I earned at the lemonade stand
I'm an entrepreneur, who wants to take your hand in marriage! 

You got to understand, you're the only one for me
Why can't you see Stacy, we are  meant to be?
We gotta get married and inherit your daddy's money?
You're throwing that away to date some guy named Jack?

Screw that, I want my girlfriend back
Seriously I'm on the attack, queue the soundtrack
That bitch Jack? He's dead, I'm gonna kick his ass
I don't give a knicking knack, if he's a quarterback !

Screw Jack, I'm gonna break both his ribs!
I just drank Mr Pibb, now my piss is carbonated!
I'm gonna take a poo on him, take out the compootition
Eliminate the oppoosition, kill my arch nemeshits

Dump Jack, Stacy, take me back!
I'll do anything you ask, I'll give you my secret stash
of American girl dolls!  I've got like a thousand!
I'll give you every one of them, and buy you every new edition

Please...Stacy...




The Hissy Fit