When you're caught in what seems like an endless loop of working to eat while chasing your dream, you begin to deteriorate. Isolation is what you crave. The only healthy and safe method to recover when you can't afford to leave the place that is causing this crushing cycle is to escape in the deepest sleep.

Stuck in Bed

The summer of 2019 was a rough time. Usually, my sister and I get excited to have our birthdays in the months of July and August. My grandfather, Papi, also had a birthday in August. It was a lifetime routine for me to celebrate his birthday and then it would be mine just a week later. That summer, my excitement turned into worry. He had fallen ill and had been hospitalized for having a fever before my sister's birthday. We were all worried but confident in his recovery. He left only a few days later. A couple of weeks later, he’d return this time with a fever again and excruciating pain in his body. Doctors had discovered that he had a tumor in his lower back that was malignant. At this point, I couldn’t think about birthdays and good times. His wellness became a priority. This was the man who was the main father figure to me because mine had passed away when I was young. Moving forward, he managed to stay strong all the way through until August. A doctor had spoken with us about the reality of the situation and that is when the family started to gather and express our love and gratitude, NOT our goodbyes. On the day of his birthday, family from all over came to see him and we wished him a happy birthday. That was the last time I spoke with him. I saw him suffer. I saw him in a state I had never seen before. Two days later he passed and my whole family and I were devastated. It all happened too quickly and in a way we didn’t want to see. My birthday came around and this was after his burial. I couldn’t celebrate. Something was missing and joy was not going to distract me. I remained sad in an almost toxic way. I am fortunate to have been able to write and play music or else it may have taken me longer to come to terms with the reality. That is why I wrote this song. To never forget the impact that his passing had on me and that it’s okay to be sad from time to time. 

Cancer is a terrible disease. I cannot imagine how others must feel losing their loved ones to it and also how hard and scary it must be to be someone who is undergoing treatment. I hope that anyone who reads this or hears the song, knows that you are not alone and that we must live for the ones that we’ve lost and still have. I’ll always have the memory of the hard worker my grandfather was and I take that with me into whatever work I do and use it to get me through. I hope that you can find a way to find a similar inspiration moving on. People need you just as you’ve needed them.

Casual Sadness

i just want to Be Good and Live my life

Recorded August 13th, 2020

Notes:
You have shown me Monkey.

Mmmmmmm

Credits
Written and produced by Ryan Cooper aka The Hood Cat

Enjoy and share!

Mmmmmm

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Traveling Home

Artist and songwriter Born in ‘93// From NYC. 

Here to bring my thoughts into life through sound.

Inquiries:  ryancooperart@gmail.com

The Hood Cat

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