Free Form Record Filing; Song as Process, Hurt as Healer, Love as Life

neuroqueer hug is a collection of the sound amulets i carry to keep me sane in a world that marginalizes the mad and neurodivergent (and many many more)
#PUD Pathological Uniformity Disorder (Credit to Salif Mahamane)

conspiracy theory (2016) 

" .step uuuuuup to the challenge
step up to the trail
the lessons to be given
will set themselves to our avail
.
and as we wander freely 
we find the peace that we need
granted through travails 
opening our full awakening 
.
nothing can contain us
nothing can confine 
but the cages that 
we build ourselves 
from attempts to 
keep our minds / safe
.
so drop out all your barriers
they only keep yourselves chained
and as you let them melt away
the waters that will be gained
provide your roots with prana
provide your hearts with strength 
the courage that compels us
.
the universe that keeps us / says 
everything is conspiring 
now for the greatest good
release into the hope flow
let life be all it could / BE. "

conspiracy theory

neuroqueer hug is a collection of the sound amulets i carry to keep me sane in a world that marginalizes the mad and neurodivergent (and many many more)
#PUD Pathological Uniformity Disorder (Credit to Salif Mahamane)

following (2016)

"follow your bliss / let her feed you
find her through the mist / let her lead you
times bring their twists / don't let fear seize you 
shine on with the kiss / of her kindly sighs
//
in those still small silences
between the fierce wind's blow
settle in to your center,
the seat of your soul
/
with the chaos surrounding,
all the howling gales,
the wise ones among us
will find the way to turn these sails
/
through the coldest of winters
and torrential springs
watch the flowing rivers 
sing delight over the growing things
/
loosen up your neck now
roll out your spine
dance out your kinks how
you wish & let your little light shine  "

following

neuroqueer hug is a collection of the sound amulets i carry to keep me sane in a world that marginalizes the mad and neurodivergent (and many many more)
#PUD Pathological Uniformity Disorder (Credit to Salif Mahamane)

blank page (2015)

" sunshine
meadow
leafless tree

tangled strings
with
wilting ballons
and
a juggling clown
underneath

throws and catches
six balls
three of glass
three of rubber


down
go the rubber balls
and
back 
up 
they 
bounce

on, on, on

until

finally

the watching array
of young and old

observe the drop

of a rubber ball
that bounces

too far

and rolls

down 
the sweet smelling
grass-covered hill


rotating spheres continue

transfixed eyes
and
mesmerized minds

miss the message

subtly conveyed

as the clouds

unobserved in the background

roll on overhead

until the leaves begin
to grow back
and fall
again

a little person
{we call them 
“a child”}
watches and considers
what is left
to remember

gets up
and
walks away
to play
a new game
with the world

little one grows
as the moon continues it’s spin
around this mound
of rotating sound
we’re living in "

blank page

neuroqueer hug is a collection of the sound amulets i carry to keep me sane in a world that marginalizes the mad and neurodivergent (and many many more)
#PUD Pathological Uniformity Disorder (Credit to Salif Mahamane)

the fetal push (2015)

" the fetal push
a lovely mush

room to groom
and room to grow

a lonely light
a sweet fright

uncertain clear
reality

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmhmmmm

a manic pace
a world wide race

ensconced embrace
dethroned

a frightful play
a long charade

a masked face
and a chase

a slight delay
or a lost case?

a fall from grace
a new place

from which to view
the land, the hand

pleasantries, please
only

i’ll crack 
if i have
anymore 
burdens to bear

all my care
has been worn   thin
has been worn  thin


eye  begin 
to look again 

at the game
the play

and see my own 
façade

fall away
cascade

the arts
look alive

keep the bloom
see the spin

just a top 
we are in

and the breasts
pressing in 

are 
so-oh warm

allow her near
dismiss the fear

AHHHHWOOP

allow her near
dismiss the fear

let love
whatever it is

cover the sin

open the doors
and cover the floors

sweep up 
all the joy you can give

to live
is

such 
a

beautiful
thing


in spite of the pain
despite all the stings

RISE
up in song

RISE
up and sing

your 
true song

until the
night long

drifts away
into the

realm of
dream 

and 
dawn is seen

let nothing new 
take
hold of you

until that true
goo

shows
the resonating

resonating
RESONATING

grin

light flows in
streaming color

the
spectrum sullen is

bright
again

the creator
sweeps

slow 
and sure

found
and secure

release a laugh
speak awkwardly

unsteady yet free

enough to try
maybe then we’ll find

what we’re looking
for "

the fetal push

neuroqueer hug is a collection of the sound amulets i carry to keep me sane in a world that marginalizes the mad and neurodivergent (and many many more)
#PUD Pathological Uniformity Disorder (Credit to Salif Mahamane)

not ok/acceptance (2016)

" finding the ways to acknowledge when i am NOT ok, 
cover that with love and accept that it may be where i am,
but it is not where i must stay

this is a lifelong journey, i will not be “whole” 
by the end of the day, today or tomorrow

AND  with patience  (please) 
i find my knees, releasing these great sorrows from my marrow

learning to find the balance, ah the balance
repeating it kindly for the balance, yes the balance

the middle way found through the splays
redirection of attention with affection

breathe in, breathe out, if needed, SHOUT
breathe in, breathe out, let the traumas all shake out

reverberation; these vibrations
start the new day in a new way
and turn this heart up loud

holding on to hope to grow, through deep listening to show
with direction of intention as the practice deepens slow

through the march of years 
we’ll find our fears receding, releasing
and the joy of love retracing, replacing
the space left by their void

as we grow in the know
of our selves we   dis-cover

the sight of light not barred by fright,
the strength it bears, beaming bright, 
healing from without and within "

not ok/acceptance

neuroqueer hug is a collection of the sound amulets i carry to keep me sane in a world that marginalizes the mad and neurodivergent (and many many more)
#PUD Pathological Uniformity Disorder (Credit to Salif Mahamane)

(un)ravel (2018)

" let’s undo the tangles
holding you tight
loosen the ties
that keep you from sight

open the heart cage
to let your soul fly
lean into your edges
know your darkness
and you are light

look at your fright
beckon it near
spread wide your arms
and draw in your fears

watch them unravel
and soon disappear
while treasuring all
that you hold most dear

it’s all coming clear
the turning of tides

all that’s inside you is all that you hide
from "

(un)ravel

neuroqueer hug is a collection of the sound amulets i carry to keep me sane in a world that marginalizes the mad and neurodivergent (and many many more)
#PUD Pathological Uniformity Disorder (Credit to Salif Mahamane)

sprung (2016)

" spring on
sprung (x8)


and though we fall
to our knees
we drink the fruit
from sweet trees

we take a bite
of sweet delight
proffered to lips
healing from fright

and thank you, Mother

we walk between
the worlds unseen
inside our minds
we’re lost to time

in free flow form
we’ll brave the storms
with tools received
in gracious dreams

we thank you, Mother

spring on
sprung (x8)

and though we fall
to the ground
we set our sights
upon the sounds

we know the pain
feel it like rain
until the day
it fades away

we thank you, Mother

we see the dawn
approaching slow
and patiently
wait for it grow

taking our turns
to gladly learn
the lessons shown
no more alone

we thank you, Mother

spring on
sprung (x8) "

sprung

neuroqueer hug is a collection of the sound amulets i carry to keep me sane in a world that marginalizes the mad and neurodivergent (and many many more)
#PUD Pathological Uniformity Disorder (Credit to Salif Mahamane)

let's talk (2014)

" let’s talk about it
dismissing issues 
doesn’t seem to help us grow
though
buried seeds 
still take root
even without 
direct sunlight
we can run, but we cannot hide
(i can run, but i cannot hide)
fear corrupts, love compels
under the spell
feel the shell
crack away
slowly "

let's talk

neuroqueer hug is a collection of the sound amulets i carry to keep me sane in a world that marginalizes the mad and neurodivergent (and many many more)
#PUD Pathological Uniformity Disorder (Credit to Salif Mahamane)

what's right with you (2020)

" what if i asked you
what's right with you
instead of what is wrong
with you
and i show you
you're seen and safe
you're loved and you belong
what if i look on you
and i see me too
and all the ways 
we're growing through "

what's right with you

neuroqueer hug is a collection of the sound amulets i carry to keep me sane in a world that marginalizes the mad and neurodivergent (and many many more)
#PUD Pathological Uniformity Disorder (Credit to Salif Mahamane)

storylines (2015)

" under the storylines
pathways and patterns 
they flow 
nothing is left behind,
yet; still we have far
to go "

storylines

neuroqueer hug is a collection of the sound amulets i carry to keep me sane in a world that marginalizes the mad and neurodivergent (and many many more)
#PUD Pathological Uniformity Disorder (Credit to Salif Mahamane)

this first track, however, is the messages that need no more enforcing, that impel the antidote that neuroqueer hug provides. 

zombies of failure (2020)

zombies of failure

in the beginnings of a deeper relationship with the world of (f)Art

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