So I usually don't read David's stuff, at least not initially, b/c I much prefer to listen to him read it himself but I've been jonesing for something new that wasn't an animal parable from Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk so I'm not waiting this time.  And I figured as long as I was reading it I might as well do so outloud and record it, that way you can listen to it if you're too busy or lazy to read it yourself.  This is completely amateur.  I've never recorded anything like this before, and in fact don't even know where the mic is on this laptop, so there's a decent chance I periodically covered it up whilst scrolling.  Regardless, it's a good story.  Hopefully I did it the minimum amount of justice.  The pacing is a little staggered, I don't always enunciate properly, I mispronounce words and backtrack, and basically fuck up here and there but it was the first time I'd read it.  Otherwise I would have made some preparations.  I would have known where to properly place emphasis, I probably wouldn't have laughed as I read, and most despicably I would have tried to do an inevitably terrible Sedaris impression, b/c let's face it his delivery is a big part of what makes these more than mere stories, it makes them art.  But it is what it is, and I hope you like it.  And just to be safe, "I do not own the rights to this material, etc.".  I don't know what legal quagmire I'm stepping into here.

theManiacBehindtheCurtain