Lyrics: written by Paula Varela & Los Sketches (@lossketches)
Music: written by Paula Varela & Los Sketches. Performed by Los Sketches.
Vocals: Paula Varela & Los Sketches. 
Every process that turned my crappy demo into a real song and I’ll be forever thankful for it: Los Sketches.
The one who have absolutely no idea about how to properly make a credits list: Paula Varela.
Artwork: Cecilia Balvidares.
If I didn't make myself clear enough: follow @lossketches

This is probably the happiest I’ve ever been with a song. I can’t believe I wrote this alone in my room and someone made THIS. I can’t thank Stevie enough, he made me feel like a superstar for once in my life (the kind of superstar that writes songs sitting her bed, records it on the phone and STILL can make a great song out of it). Working on this song was the most exciting thing I’ve done since I started writing songs: it’s amazing how I wrote about something that caused me so much pain over these past few months and then, like a magic trick, Stevie turned it into the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I loved every minute of this experience, and I loved being able to share this with one of the most amazing people I’ve met this year. Take a good listen guys because I’m sure you’ll be hearing us together again very soon 😊
Stevie, you’ve made a girl from the other side of your world SO HAPPY. Thank you <3

Lyrics:

Maybe it’s true
maybe I should’ve seen what I had in you.
I guess I knew
that you would be better off without me next to you.

So maybe it’s good 
that you’ve changed and I no longer recognize you.
I still see you…
in my dreams you’re dressed as a nightmare and I run from you.

You gave me a kiss with those open eyes
and I wanted to trust but your love turned to dust.
Don’t give me a reason why,
don’t make me waste my time.
Just give me a decent goodbye.
Now you’re someone new…
and I no longer recognize you.

I see it too,
nothing will fit in my heart, now it’s shaped like you
in shades of blue.
Your footprints are littering the blueprints of my room.

Don’t say it’s for good
‘cause I’ve seen it all before I saw you.
It’s a cheap excuse,
my heart knows the pain of falling for you.

We kissed down the street, too late at night
and we knew from the start we would fall apart.
There’s no reason why
but we just wasted our time
without a decent goodbye.
Now you’re someone new…
and I no longer recognize you.


My heart now is shaped like you
in shades of blue.
My heart now is shaped like you...

So maybe it’s good
that you’ve changed and I no longer recognize you.

Shaped Like You (feat. Los Sketches)

Artwork by @ nyctophiliacmb <3

Lyrics:

I found a pattern on the way I behave,
some kind of trouble that is hard to explain.
My common sense now is starting to decay
cause you're starting to look like what I became.

I guess what's mine now is yours to take
and I pray it won't be a mistake

Cause your voice is my favorite sound, I gotta let it go
and your body on mine is a crime, I can't let it go.
The way you talk goes down my spine to my bones.
All these things we cannot help, now they're my skeleton.

Tell me if it's ok to feel like a hypocrite
knowing that I shouldn't, but I let it begin.
I'm just a fool that never knew how to quit
all these lost causes, hoping that I would win.

But now what's yours will take me to the end
and I will lose myself on the way.

(Chorus)

(I know so damn well, I
know so damn well, I
know so damn well, I...)

In the middle of the night this fire ignites,
if you can't get me off your mind then why should I?
I know so damn well, I still wanna try.
And when you touch my hand, like a neutron star
we're damned to end before we start.
I know so damn well, I still wanna try.
The look in your eyes, I can't let it go...
I know so damn well, now you're my skeleton.

The way you talk goes down my spine to my bones.
All these things we cannot help, now they're my skeleton.

Skeleton (demo)

Arwork by @ nyctophiliacmb 

Lyrics:

Don't wanna be your part time lover,
not if I can't keep you so much closer to me.
I've made a home under your covers and now
I can't live without your colors around me.

So come over here and distract me,
say what I wanna hear and disarm me.

(Chorus)
Don't say I'm too good for that half love,
and pull away your hand cause feelings are not enough.
Don't speak if you're gonna live in my head
creating an empty space on the cold side of my bed.

You say "I'm too bad for this conversation"
and I'm wrapped up in fascination when you look at me.
Cause you lost all your words and I lost my time,
thinking it would make you mine before you leave.

So come over here and distract me,
touch my fingertips and disarm me.

(Chorus)

So come over here and just tell me what I wanna hear
"It's not easy for me to be without you here"
Show me what you'd give to make this half love real.

So come over here and distract me,
set on fire my lips and disarm me.

(Chorus)

All I want is you,
all I want is you...
(feelings are not enough)
All I want is you,
all I want is you...
(feelings are not enough)

Half Love

Artwork by the wonderful @ nyctophiliacmb I mean LOOK AT THIS?! <3

Lyrics:

Caught in a daydream for the first time
but no one can say it's the last time.
Drink in your hand, it's a new crime.
I'm a toy you can play with in the meantime.

And I know what they'll say,
"you could find an easier thing to get away with"
But I like these red lights on my eyes
and I can't say it's the last time.

Floating through the air in this nighttime,
we're weaker than our alibis.
Hush hush, you can say it with your eyes.
Let's save the best for the last time.

And I know what you'll say
"you could find an easier thing to get away with"
but I love the stop signs by your side
and I can't wait to run them down.

Don't you dare saying it's the first time
cause I won't say it's the last time.

The Last Time

Artwork (God, she made like 5 different ones and I almost died trying to choose, SHE'S AMAZING): @ nyctophiliacmb

Lyrics:

She came to me in a dream
and stood right next to me
and I felt the warmth of her clothes.
She said "don't bother to speak
cause I'm not listening,
I'm just here for the overthrow"

She had bright red hair like a fireball
and lips that could make my eyes roll.
And I still don't know what she knows.
She had deep green eyes like grass in spring
and I wonder why it's all coming to me
like a tidal wave, like a thunderstorm.
I wonder what she knows.

I felt her on my skin
as I rolled out of bed again
and I cursed the way my mind works.
I saw her crystal clear
as I closed my eyes as if
she tied a noose around my throat.

She kissed my lips like a wake up call
and my heart started beating on its* own
and I still don't know how to let go.
Her skin, like a death sentence to me
I want her so bad it's killing me
like a tidal wave, like a thunderstorm.
Is this what she knows?
(What she knows... How to let go?)

She came to me in a dream
and stood right next to me
and I get the feeling that she knows.
She came to me in a dream
and took my heart on her sleeve
like a tidal wave, like a thunderstorm.

She had bright red hair like a fireball
and lips that could make my eyes roll.
And I still don't know what she knows.
She had deep green eyes like grass in spring
and I wonder why it's all coming to me
like a tidal wave, like a thunderstorm.
I wonder what she knows.

*can you believe I realized I said his after I uploaded this? FUCK

I Felt Her

There's a particular scene in this TV show I've been watching where there was four people lost in a forest and they were all enemies with each other. They slowly started to die, but until that happened, a lot of feelings emerged. I had the idea for this song ("I'm a zombie, it's been too long since I found something to call my own") in my head for a few days and after watching that scene, the song finally came to life.

Lyrics:

I'm a zombie, it's been too long
since I found something to call my own.
I'm a stranger, I don't belong
to these lands I used to call my home.
I'm a fighter, for what it's worth
I'll be the last one standing on Earth.
I'm a zombie to the bones,
I am right even when I'm wrong.

I'm a bastard, I'm a wreck
I'm the hands around my own neck.
A black hole in outer space,
the feeling you hide behind your face.
I'm the law, I'm the crime,
these bloody hands I can call mine.
I'm the ashes and the fire,
I'm what you'll see when you walk on a wire.

(I'm dead walking, I'm
dead walking, I'm
dead walking, I'm...)

dead walking

My amazing and ridiculously talented friend Cecilia (who's in charge of the artworks for my song and I love her so much) is writing a book! She showed me the first chapters of it and since then I am COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH IT. The story is magnificent and the characters are amazing, I can't wait to hold that precious book in my hands! I told her I would write a song about the love story of the main characters so here it is, probably my favorite song I've done lately. 
A few warnings: 
1- my voice hated me through the whole song hahaha at the end it was like "shut up or I will kill you". 
2- I'm not quite sure what's the right pronuntiation of "blatant" and I don't wanna search it now in case I said it wrong, so if it's wrong, lo lamento mucho hahaha.
3- I'm on theme again! YAY

UPDATE: Ceci is uploading one chapter every week here https://my.w.tt/7BG8W4p6G7 (it's in Spanish, but you'll be fine with Google Translate if you want to check it out!). 

Artwork: as usual, Cecilia Balvidares (@ nyctophiliacmb).
Lyrics:

I'm one step ahead,
I don't know how but I'll tell it like it is
and hope that the flames won't burn me down.
You try to follow me instead,
unaware that I'm gasoline in my veins
and the touch of your hands sparks without a sound.

It's kinda unfair
I never get to keep my secrets to myself,
they speak to your eyes like an old friend.
I made my own bed
and now I'm breathing this artificial air
until I can no longer pretend.

A blatant distraction, the wrong kind of attraction
caught me for a fraction, now I'm out of reaction.
The words you heard were angry and blurred but
got to your core an now I'm on the floor.
Tired and stressed like a tiger in a cage,
feeling out of nowhere at the edge of outrage
till you... talk me out of it.

I trip and fall,
I guess that's easier than learning how to walk.
I don't have much time now to behave.
I made my own bed, oh
and now it hurts to lie all alone in it
cause I'd burn this prison down for your name.

A blatant distraction, the wrong kind of attraction
caught me for a fraction, now I'm out of reaction.
The words you heard were angry and blurred but
got to your core an now I'm on the floor.
Tired and stressed like a tiger in a cage,
feeling out of nowhere at the edge of outrage
till you... talk me out of it.

(Oh... Oh)
(Feeling out of nowhere at the edge of outrage)

Tired and stressed like a tiger in a cage,
giving up on you cause I know that it's too late
till you... till you... until you...
talk me out of it.

Mind Talk

Original song by Babasónicos. Released in album "Infame", 2003.

Risa (Babasónicos cover)

Artwork by my amazing friend Cecilia Balvidares ❤️
*the phrase "the fish dies by its mouth" is commonly used in Spanish to refer to someone being caught by what he/she said, basically giving yourself away by saying something you were not supposed to.

Lyrics:

The sound of the crackle on the phone,
painful reminder I should be gone.
Tick tock of the clock, it's my curfew.
Why can't I leave this place without you?

Burn down your pictures in the fireplace
cause I'd be doomed if I left one trace.
And it's just the state I'm in, it's so hard to get me out.
Wish I could hold your hand, without feeling like a sellout.

I'd runaway without a plan,
so far no one would understand, can I
count on you now? Count on you, oh...
Speeding cars and shades of grey,
burning tires on the highway, I
count on you now, count on you now.
I'll throw these handcuffs out the window,
let them fall on the river.

Cold black coffee stains on the paper,
same old reverie will get to me sooner or later.
One glass of wine, a moment I replay
over and over just to see the look on your face.

The ceiling fan is turning slower than me.
I go from what I should do and how I want you next to me.
Soon I'll overload my ability to lie,
the fish will die by its mouth* covered by the light.

(Chorus)

How much of this? 
(How I want you next to me)
Same old reverie.
How much of this?...
(How I want you next to me)
How much of this is the same old reverie?
(How I want you next to me)

Count on you now, I count on you now.

Speeding cars and shades of grey,
burning tires on the highway, I
count on you now, count on you now.
I'll throw these handcuffs out the window,
let them fall on the river.

Reverie

Bad Habit (Ben Platt cover)

Don't Panic (Coldplay cover)

What do you do when literally nothing interesting been happening to you lately? You write a song about your favorite turkish soap opera. And then it ends up being your favorite song ever. Also: BV!

Artwork by the amazing Cecilia Balvidares. 

Lyrics:

Polluted air floats over the street,
I guess this is where we supposed to be now.
I told my story like a book you wouldn't read,
and just for fun, you would doodle every vowel.

And you still pay attention, makes me forget how to breathe
but I obviously try not to let it show.
There's a long way home for you and me
and it's even harder for me to go.

So if I say I hate your guts, please don't believe me
cause you're killing mine.
And you say I need to trust in what we're feeling,
don't know how I can try.
Give me somewhere to start.

The foreign airlines speeding up the sky,
I kinda like how it makes us feel small.
Still, I lose my North when I look at your eyes,
evaporate like ethyl alcohol.

Can't close the book now, it's open in your hands.
I just pray you will be careful.
Now we're growing where it used to be badlands,
two thorn roses made of metal.

So if I say I hate your guts, please don't believe me
cause you're killing mine.
And you say I need to trust in what we're feeling,
don't know how I can try.
Give me somewhere to start.

Wish I could help it but it's in my nature,
I tend to walk away when it gets dangerous.
Don't let me break it, don't let me break your heart...
All I need is somewhere to start.

Can't close the book now...
Can't close the book now...
Can't close the book now...
Can't close the book now...

Polluted air floats over the street,
I guess this is where we supposed to be now.

Don't Believe Me

Heal Me (Snow Patrol cover)

Do you know that feeling when you like someone so badly you find yourself praying to every existing God they like you back? well...
*you might remember an old song by me called Skeleton, which actually sounds quite similar to this one. I realized about that while I was writing it, so I decided to include this little reference. In this context, "don't let me be a skeleton again" would mean "please don't let me be the idiot I was before when I thought I was entitled to do something wrong in the name of love" which is the main theme behind the song Skeleton.

Artwork by me, featuring my beautiful plants ❤️

Lyrics:

The blurry vision just before the curve,
the beat of my heart I just can't ignore
makes me stand right here, fading outside your door.
Because I bought my soul back from the devil,
blindly thinking this time will be better
but it won't disappear until my skin feels you near.

But I know I'm trying to kick this out of the field.
You don't need to remind me you're completely out of my league.

And they say hope is the last thing to lose,
so I will force mine to stay with you.
I'm praying to big Gods I don't believe in
cause I don't know how to make you listen to me.

Your ocean eyes making 10 feet tall waves,
makes me wanna die drowned by the sound of your name,
just please don't let me be a skeleton* again.
It's this uncertainty what kills me more,
not knowing which way you think I should go
or if I should even go there at all.

And I know I'm trying to kick this out of the field.
You don't need to remind me you're completely out of my league.

But they say hope is the last thing to lose,
so I will force mine to stay with you.
I'm praying to big Gods I don't believe in
cause I don't know how to make you listen to me.

And they say hope is the last thing to lose
so I will force mine to stay with you.
Because I bought my soul back from the devil
blindly thinking this time will be better
and it won't disappear until my skin feels you near.

Big Gods

Did someone say WE WANT MORE BV?

Lyrics:

My eyes can't seem to see other thing that isn't you.
It's the strangest tunnel vision, don't know what else I could do.
Because I'm running out of fuel to burn
and my heart standstill because it never learned how to let go.
So go buy yourself some tickets, front row for this horror show.

It will shine brighter than any other star
in the sky, it looks like it will never fall apart.
Every single spark will ignite your heart.
I just hope you survive, Supernova.

This void I've been living in doesn't seem such a scary place
if you look at it with a held up high face.
But when it comes to you, I don't know what to say.
I just forget my words when you say your name and I want to
play the spark in your eyes like it's an old VHS tape.

It will shine brighter than any other star
in the sky, it looks like it will never fall apart.
Every single smile will ignite my heart.
I just hope I survive, Supernova.

Please don't let me be stardust alone.
Please don't let this be in my head just for once.

We will shine brighter than any other star
in the sky, it looks like we will never fall apart.
Every single touch will ignite our hearts.
I just hope we survive, Supernova.

Don't let this be in my head just for once.

Supernova

This song was inspired by a number of things, but basically it was just me grabbing a newspaper and thinking "hey, I haven't read one of these in a while"
Artwork by me (that's one of the first pictures I took during quarantine!)

Lyrics:

I'm not the kind of girl that you're looking for
cause I've stopped reading the newspaper.
The television's loud so I don't turn it on,
it's just a coping mechanism I've been living off.

I have responsibilities, I have them no more
cause I say I kinda like it then don't like it anymore.
Floating on a cloud of ignorance and doubt,
flying too high for anyone to drag me down.

Can't separate my dreams from reality,
I put them all together just to set me free.
My hope's a little bitter like a cup of green tea,
but I would drink it up, it's better than empty.

My records get stuck at the same old song
about falling in love, and then it turns out wrong.
The clock keeps ticking on the wrinkles of my face
telling me to hurry up before it's too late.

I'm cooking up a rage inside of me,
spice it up, season it up, get on your knees
and pray for the future of your sanity
cause I've been praying for mine since I was 16.

I'm not the kind of girl that you're looking for.
(cause I've stopped reading the newspaper)
I'm not the kind of girl that you're looking for.
(the television's loud so I don't turn it on)
I'm not the kind of girl that you're looking for.
(a coping mechanism I've been living off)
I'm not the kind of girl that you're looking for.
(Say I kinda like it then don't like it anymore)

I'm not the kind of girl that you're looking for...

newspaper

I'd like to thank myself for designing my own artworks now because it's the most relaxing thing ever.

Lyrics:

I swear I'll throw my phone across the room
straight at you
if I have to talk to someone new.
I'll punch the walls like I'm a wrecking ball
if I have to pick up just one call
because it's never you. Why is it never you?

And now I'm boring myself to death
as I go from "you're nice" to "please leave me alone"
"Come here" "or maybe just don't"
Hope I'm not wasting my last breath
as I go from "it's fine" to "God this is the worst
of times, it just won't work"

I wanna scream my lungs out to the wind
because you're just so damn close.
But we grow apart every single time
I look down to the floor.
Because it's (your eyes, your smile, your voice, it's just) just you, and every little thing that you do.

And now I'm boring myself to death
as I go from "you're nice" to "please leave me alone"
"Come here" "or maybe just don't"
Hope I'm not wasting my last breath
as I go from "it's fine" to "God this is the worst
of times, it just won't work"

(Never, never, never, never, never you)

And it pushes all my buttons, from black to red,
frozen white and leaves in shades of grey.
It disconnects my thoughts from both of my hands,
pours wine on my glass, up at 3 am.

(You're nice but please leave me alone
Come here or maybe just don't.
It's fine but God, this is the worst of times)
It just won't work.

Why is it never, never, never, never, never you?
(Your eyes, your smile, your voice, it's just)

Never You

on another episode of writing songs about TV shows...
I had the initial idea for this song about three weeks ago. I finally sat down and wrote it two weeks ago. And I finished recording it TODAY. FINALLY.

Lyrics:

You'd be surprised 'bout how heavy is the suitcase I brought
despite leaving behind 10 ton of hurt for a long shot.
A chameleon hiding out for its life, took your hand and you took mine.
We were just doing fine but I can't help to be myself back.

'Till I remember I left my ID back home,
I guess that I don't need it to say goodbye in your car.
Throw my arms to the wind, the soundtrack is your laugh
and I'm afraid I won't breathe it in enough.

Don't mind me, I'm just hoping my lungs will be cleaner
after one last night in Cartagena.

A baby deer learning how to walk in high heels,
I never knew what's like to start with the easiest thing.
Would you collect all the times I said no cause I was scared,
and light them into fireworks, hold me close and turn them into yes?

Oh mon amour, I left my ID back home,
I guess that I don't need it to say goodbye in your car.
Throw my arms to the wind, the soundtrack is your laugh
and if I look at your eyes, I can breathe it in enough.

Don't mind me, I'm just hoping my lungs will be cleaner
after one last night in Cartagena.

And just like in the movies you say
I've been here all along.
And I would stay with you here
until my days are gone.

'Till I remember I left my past back home,
and it's faster than me, so though it hurts I have to go.
"Don't you forget about me" you sound like paradise
cause for the first time I wanna say it back.

Don't mind me, I'm just hoping my lungs will be cleaner
after one last night in Cartagena.
(Throw my arms to the wind, the soundtrack is your laugh
and I look at your eyes to breathe it in enough)

last night in Cartagena

Lyrics:

This feels like the start of something new.
This distraction feels like something you would do.
This heartbeat is deafening in my mind.
This love makes me wanna call you mine.

This room isn't big enough for both of us,
so maybe we can kill the space between us, if there ever was.
This love might set us up for tragedy
but I would rather die for this than for my own reality.

And now you see it's not easy, easy for me
to say "I love you" and mean it, naturally.

This conclusion makes it feel like the end
so if you let me, I'll take it back and try to make amends.
This high keeps on making me feel low,
hoping for the moment you will get me alone. 

And now you see it's not easy, easy for me
to walk past you quiet, quietly.

(This love makes me wanna call you mine)

This love is like walking on a straight line
after a glass of whiskey and a bottle of wine.
This heart keeps on waiting for a sign
before I give up on this madness of calling you mine.

So now you see it's not easy, easy for me.

this

26. the girl with bad karma.
My first EP "the demos" is out now! https://open.spotify.com/album/5HW6gAvQ3LcAqM16ynT1yx?si=EwKDGTw6TQmxxmFxjCrqcQ

(This Silence Is So) Loud:
https://open.spotify.com/track/2dZMZ9pWzo1bmAosxO5WWa?si=mCZc_-GhSJaC8VkQ8jeURA

Like a Kid: https://open.spotify.com/track/3P9DWi9yh66lLQKUoOZgD8?si=HqxH3FICRZuGbyGu6_ijUw

Shaped Like You feat @lossketches :
https://open.spotify.com/track/5ypE55qUIeLFh1ZYX7AbE9?si=TGMWJpTrQmWOF_ppLXF_lQ

Currently writing a song every week on www.songaweek.org

Paula Varela

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