The best of TMH

Ok, google? Thank you.

google, facebook, amazon
twitch, and twitter, and your mom
makin the internet a better place
it used to be shady
it used to be hectic
it used to be so dang eclectic
not anymore, those days are gone

thanks to google, facebook, and amazon
twitch, and twitter, and your mom
its finally safe to log on (it's finally safe, I don't have to put my gloves on)
There's nothing very scary
We capped the hate (goodbye hate)
But careful what you say 
that could incriminate (careful what you say)
And circulate it to your job (hope you don't like your job!)

I use facebook to check up on my former friends
and amazon to buy my shit,
get my shit delivered to my porch (that's where it belongs)
I use twitter mainly to argue with strangers
but there's no danger no there's no danger
if they mess with me, I'll call the cops

and they'll look at your twitter, facebook, and amazon
maybe you been buyin' stuff
to build a bomb
or maybe you been lyin
maybe you been wrong
and we'll find it 
find it on twitter, facebook, and amazon
oh we'll hunt it down
and then we'll spread it around
and that ain't what you want in this climate! (i'm compliant!)

thanks google, facebook, and amazon
you made the internet
a perfect place for us to say 
whatever you want 
(I know just what to say when every word I say is spoken for)
and we don't deserve you
and just we live to serve you
won't you plug us into the machine
and let our bodies be
as one
and join our brain with jeff bezos

Thanks, Google!

the minute hour
music is I'll Follow Tomorrow / Phantom Thread II & III
by Jonny Greenwood, from the Phantom Thread OST

The Strangerman

My first album, I hope you enjoy it.

11 original songs, written and recorded by me, and released as Snosm.

Thanks for listening :)

Strange Message

Baie De Lune

This is a compilation of some fun audio commissions I did from 2021-2022.

Audio commissions are OPEN AGAIN! Send an email to theminutehour@gmail.com with either a script or an idea for a short monologue/scene/song. I'll get back to you within a week to let you know if I can do it. Rates are below. It's a little pricier than last time, but I don't phone these in! You will get your money's worth.

-- NEW COMMISSION RATES --

If you want me to read a script - 
$40 for 1 minute of recorded lines
+$15 for each additional minute (3 mins max)

If you want me to record/edit something based on your idea -
$50 for 1 minute monologue/scene/song, with music and/or sound effects
+$25 for each additional minute (3 mins max)

CREDITS
0:00 1. TMH Official Prayer
Le Grenoulle (XPM) (inspiration)

1:18 2. Tools
Matt Magnotta (premise/co-writer)

2:22 3. Dirty Bird
Big Raim (inspiration)

3:45 4. Pigeon Fighter
BubbaJonezz (premise)
Music -  "Naked Guy Murder"  (Cliff Martinez - Too Old To Die Young)

6:06 5. Class Participation
Daniel Gross (premise)

8:51 6. Geralt's High Octane Tax Collection Agency
Big Raim (premise)
Music - "Who Likes To Party" (Kevin Macleod)

9:56 7. Crystal Healer
Nequies (premise)

10:55 8. Dale's Dill Dough
Randi Dave (premise/co-writer)
Music - "Neopolitan Tarantella" (Al Caiola)

12:20 9. Make It Backwards
A.A. (inspiration)
Music - "Sirius" (Alan Parsons)

14:12 10. Country Song
Noah Wright of the Marrow Journal (writer)

16:15 11. Mealz
Myron (premise/co-writer)
Music - Somewhere in this video, I don't remember! https://youtu.be/_Zxnop2vmGM

18:34 12. Bear With Me
SBS (premise)

19:42 13. What A Queer Bird The Frog Are
Peter Yost (inspiration, based on an old poem they know of)

20:55 14. DIGMEOUT
Chris B (premise)

21:52 15. Soap Chicken
tehtyde (premise)

23:44 16. The Birthday Song
K.R. (inspiration)

24:53 17. Nice Tux
Anonymous (writer)
Music - "Arabesque No. 1" (Debussy)

26:03 18. Rami's Mind
Qanye (premise)

27:28 19. Tenet
N.V. (premise)

28:49 20. Pantless Man
Anonymous (premise/co-writer)
Music - Gymnopedia No. 1 (Erik Satie)

30:37 21. The Least Dangerous Game
Winged Sun Comics (premise/co-writer)
Music - "untitled192" (tmh)

32:55 22. Goblin in Space
Gepherey (premise)

33:29 23. Totino Knows
Anonymous (premise/co-writer) 

34:36 24. Dale's Dill Dough 2
Randi Dave (premise/co-writer)
Music - "Neopolitan Tarantella" (Al Caiola)

36:34 25. Smoke N Murder Guy
John V. (premise)

38:12 26. Glenn with Two N's
The Alchemist (inspiration/co-writer)

39:34 27. The Uncircumsizer
Jerry Harkins (premise)
Music - Danse Macabre (Camille Saint-Saens)

41:16 28. Are You A Bad Enough Dude
DOODmarine (writer)

41:36 29. That Dang Old Dog
Evan Dickerson (inspiration/co-writer)

You Paid For This (Audio Commissions)

if your lifes long will you start getting sick of it?
if you hold on is it worth what youre living with?
when it goes wrong is it bad to be giving in?
when im gone what will happen in my favorite shows?

questions

Believe It (ft. Elvisious)

I got me a plaaaaaan
Season 4 - Relay
theminutehour.com
become a patron: patreon.com/theminutehour

Music:
Sam Spence - It's Over There

Lyrics:
do you think i'm happy when i lay in bed at night
do you think i'm happy with the way i live my life
everything i said to you turns out it wasnt true
every night in bed is when i pay for what i do

go ahead tell everybody
all the things you hate about me
i dont care what they think
not with where im goin

soon yes very soon i'll travel far away from here
to a place where all my problems up and disappear

go ahead tell everybody
theres nothing you cant say honey
i dont care what they think
not with where im goin

soon yes very soon im gonna buy myself a gun
press it to my temple test the trigger just for fun
when you hear a boom a splat all followed by a crunch
then youll know how bad i feel for the things ive done

do you think im happy when i lay in bed at night
do you think im happy with the way i live my life
soon you'll get a front row seat to my bloody demise
would that make you happy would it make you feel alive
would it make you happy if i killed myself tonight
Hey!

Do You Think I'm Happy

what does a fuckin' bitch have to do around here to get firebombed??

the minute hour

What This Fuckin' Bitch Doesn't Understand

the minute hour

lyrics:
big yellow schoolbus
all the kiddies get on
that freakin thing's taking them to school, as they do

I cant help but thinkin
theres no way there's not a single stinkin kid
on that bus ain't got the flu
which means

soon, I'll be livin in coronaville
yes I will be livin in a coronaville
and I'm not thrilled,
but there's nothin I can do
there's nothin I can say to you
I need my mail forwarded to
corona HQ

I'm gonna get it

there's somethin I should mention
somethin not far from my thoughts
I think about it a lot
as a man of 27
coronavirus is not
gonna make me drop

the rate of mortality only really goes up when you're 70 or older
and that's already pretty old
now everyone's warnin me
they're tellin me I should quarantine
maybe I will, maybe I won't

yo gonna geddit

Coronaville (Yogonnageddit)

This song may cause frank and uncomfortable discussions with your friends and family members.

B - A - E (chords)

lyrics:
this song sounds terrible to pedophiles
only pedophiles
this song sounds terrible to pedophiles
only pedophiles
yes this song will sound terrible to you
if you identify, as a pedophile
and if you say "hey that's not my style,
I just don't like this song"
that's a pedophile in denial!

this song sounds terrible to pedophiles,
only pedophiles
this song sounds terrible to pedophiles
only pedophiles
if you dream of catchin a plane to 
pedophile island
then you won't like it
that's a 100% guarantee from me
I did the research, I got a bibliography

I took a survey
of my closest friends
and the ones who don't like this song
they like fuckin' kids
they fuck kids
they fuck kids
I stopped being their friend
cause of what they did!

I took a head count
of all my work buddies
and the ones who told me my
SINGIN WAS SHITTAYY, THEYY
fuck kids
they fuck kids
I have evidence
I release it, when it's appropriate

this song sounds terrible to pedophiles
only pedophiles
this song sounds terrible to pedophiles
only pedophiles
if you dream of catchin' a plane to 
pedophile island, then you won't like it
and if you say "hey, it's not my style,
I just don't like your song"
WRONG!

you're a pedophile
I think you're a dirty pedophile
if you don't like song, it's cause wanna bone a child
and for you that may be cool but for me it's not

if you can't groove to this, it's cause you're groomin' kids
if you can't groove to this, it's cause you're groomin'
you're groomin a kid! (oo!)
(that's not cool)
(that's not cool)

The Strangerman

The Minute Hour

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