At Bayville High School, the Sadie Hawkins dance is coming up, and all of a sudden, Scott Summers is in high demand with the ladies. "Shadow Dance" is all about teen drama and romance, especially when it comes to Kurt, who is still in the mutant closet but wants to get a lot closer to a cute girl in his math class named Amanda. This episode is cute as heck.

X-Men Spotlight: Amanda Sefton

Next week's episode: We're taking a week off, but after that, we'll be back with some listener feedback. Write in!

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"Shadow Dance," X-Men Evolution

If only X-Men: First Class were a story about Magneto's origin. Or maybe just a catalogue of Magneto's romance with Charles Xavier. That's almost what it is, but then there's a whole bunch of other plotlines and themes in here, and they sure don't fit together. Come along with Maddy, Ryan, and Todd on their quest to figure out where Moira bought those garters, what the hell Emma Frost was doing in a jail cell for two months, and whether Mystique can make a decision without a man's help.

Next week's episode: Listener mail!

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X-Men: First Class (2011)

Maddy, Ryan, and Todd manage to finish their review of X-Men Apocalypse (2016), and they're all the worse for wear. What even happens in the second half of this movie? An extensive Weapon X section in which Wolverine runs around murdering people and running into the child version of Jean Grey, who might fall in love with him, except she's busy taking secret phone calls from Xavier, who's trying to avoid Apocalypse's Freaky Friday body switch plan. Cairo gets destroyed and Storm ends up attending Xavier's school because she doesn't have much else to do, and she also doesn't have any lines. Quicksilver is also here for all of this, and we don't know why.

Next week's episode: The X-Men anime!

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X-Men: Apocalypse (2016), Part 2

Dr. Christopher Michael Roman appears on the podcast with Maddy, Ryan, and Todd to discuss his book, Queering Wolverine in Comics and Fanfiction: A Fastball Special. We discuss the previous scholarship that analyzes Wolverine as the ultimate example of straight male (toxic) masculinity, and the analyses in Christopher's book, which push back against that reading and instead view Logan through a queer lens. We also talk about how Logan is a cyborg pig who wears cowboy drag.

Get the book HERE >>> https://www.routledge.com/Queering-Wolverine-in-Comics-and-Fanfiction-A-Fastball-Special/Roman/p/book/9781032120140

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Interview: 'Queering Wolverine' author Dr. Christopher M. Roman

Back in 1978, Magneto appeared in animated form on The New Fantastic Four, an animated series by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. Maddy and Ryan brought Ryan Truman (a.k.a. Ry T) on the show to dissect the hilarious corniness of "The Menace of Magneto," in which one of our favorite mutants is depicted as a total buffoon. We also discuss the rights issues surrounding Fantastic Four at the time, which led to the creation of H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot in place of the Human Torch on this show. We hate H.E.R.B.I.E., and seemingly so do Sue and Ben.

Next week's episode: "eXposed," The Gifted

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"The Menace of Magneto," The New Fantastic Four

Maddy and Ryan convene for the double-header premiere episodes of X-Men '97, which just may be the best-ever X-Men adaptation in our lifetimes, as well as the emotional pinnacle of this podcast's run up to this point. We analyze every single frame and line of dialogue in both episodes, and perhaps the only problem with that is for some reason we called X-Cutioner by the wrong name (X-Terminator) about half the time. We were just too excited and/or distracted by the fact that Wolverine and Morph are canonically banging on this show. And have you seen that photo of Xavier and Magneto cuddling??? We aren't over it, or really anything else that happens on this episode.

X-Men spotlights (yes, plural!): Valerie Cooper and X-Cutioner

Next week's episode: "Fire Made Flesh," X-Men '97

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"To Me, My X-Men" + "Mutant Liberation Begins," X-Men '97

Madelyne Pryor has quite the complicated backstory in Marvel Comics, and it's fascinating to see how X-Men '97 chose to shorten and adapt her story. A lot of the changes really work, but the whole episode moves so damn fast that Maddy and Ryan can only conclude that this should have been a two-parter. The Goblin Queen deserved more time to cook!! Perhaps the real star of this episode is Morph, whose relationship with Wolverine has gotten very emotionally confusing for seemingly both of them. Wow!

X-Men Spotlight: Madelyne Pryor

Next week's episode: "Motendo/Lifedeath Part 1" X-Men '97

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"Fire Made Flesh," X-Men '97

Maddy, Ryan, and Todd convene to analyze the first half of Deadpool (2016), which we probably didn't need to divide into two parts because it turns out this movie is really simple. Also, most of these jokes do not hold up! Bounty hunter Wade Wilson meets a hottie named Vanessa, finds out he has cancer, dumps her so she doesn't have to watch him die, then participates in an experimental treatment program that gives him superpowers but also makes his entire body look like shit and gains him a super-powered nemesis named Francis. More in Part 2, such as Blind Al, the best part of the movie! We didn't exactly have a great time watching this, but compared to some of the Fox films we've watched lately, it does at least have a coherent plot that's easily summarized.

Next episode: Deadpool (2016), Part 2

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Deadpool (2016), Part 1

Ryan, Maddy, and Todd watch the second half of Deadpool (2016) and realize they probably didn't need to divide this episode into two parts because there isn't that much to say about the second half of Deadpool (2016). Wade Wilson's arch nemesis Francis kidnaps his ex-girlfriend Vanessa for some reason. Deadpool, Colossus, and Negasonic Teenage Warhead team up to save Vanessa and destroy a helicarrier in the process. Why is there a helicarrier? We can't actually explain anything that happens at the end of this movie, and it's not funny enough to justify itself, either.

Next episode: The Gifted season 2????

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Deadpool (2016), Part 2

Ryan and Maddy invite Todd and Ry T back on the show for another reading of a Christmas-themed X-Men comic. This time it's Uncanny X-Men #165 (2009), a surprisingly plot-heavy comic that gets into Laura Kinney's backstory and introduction to the X-Men, plus a side story about Gambit getting back his eyesight (after losing his sight in a battle that wasn't even that interesting, according to Maddy who is writing this description and just looked up the old comic where it happens). After we finish reading the X-Men comic together, Ryan presents us all with a Mystery Comic that none of us could have predicted in advance.

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Next episode: "unMoored," The Gifted

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The Mutant Ages Christmas Special 2024 / Uncanny X-Men #165

Ryan and Maddy are still loving The Gifted, with season 2 delivering yet another great episode in "unMoored." This episode is brought to us by League of Legends, which Andy is playing every night he spends in the Hellfire Club mansion, apparently. But he's keeping his teenage angst secret when it comes to missing his family and especially his sister, and Reeva Payge isn't going to stand for that, since it's interfering with Andy using his powers. Esme Cuckoo and Lorna do their best to protect Andy in their own ways, but at the end of the day, Andy has to admit what's really going on or else Reeva's going to cut him loose (fatally). Meanwhile, the rest of the Strucker family is in a state of complete emotional turmoil and it's fascinating to watch them fall apart. This show is legitimately well-written now!

Next episode: "coMplications," The Gifted

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"unMoored," The Gifted

The Gifted season 2 keeps on delivering banger episode after banger episode. In "coMplications," Reed Strucker's powers manifest in front of his daughter Lauren, who can't believe he's still keeping secrets from the rest of the family. Jace Turner is still obsessed with hunting down mutants and he's destroying every other aspect of his life in favor of continuing to chase that high. Polaris' baby is sick and only Marcos can save her, which means the Hellfire Club has to go get him and let him meet his child for the first time... and, if they have anything to say about it, the last time. But Marcos has no intention of abandoning his child the way his own father abandoned him. Meanwhile, Blink and John are exploring the Morlock tunnels, and Blink realizes she might have more affinity with the Morlocks than the remaining Underground members.

Next episode: "outMatched," The Gifted

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"coMplications," The Gifted

Maddy and Ryan get to watch yet another fantastic episode of The Gifted with "outMatched," in which our former Mutant Underground characters are indeed outmatched when it comes to the machinations of the Hellfire Club. Lorna, Andy, and their new friends are breaking into a mental institution that only houses mutants and has been drugging them and torturing them, and their former friends are just trying to keep up with whatever that plan even is. Reed Strucker has decided to down anti-anxiety medication at a steady clip to keep his mutant powers at bay, which obviously doesn't work. Caitlin Strucker goes full torture mode on a mutant drug addict in order to get the information she wants about Andy. And it's all for nothing in the end, because when Lauren finally comes face to face with Andy, he's anything but willing to come back home.

Next episode: "afterMath," The Gifted

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"outMatched," The Gifted

The Gifted season two continues its strong pace with "afterMath," which Maddy and Ryan end up rating 4/5 instead of a perfect score but still did enjoy quite a bit. Blink helps the newly escaped mutants who were wrongly imprisoned in a mental asylum find a new home with the Morlocks, and Marcos makes friends (kind of) with one of the escapees named Glow, who isn't from the comics and has a weirdly optimistic attitude. Meanwhile, Andy is getting to know Rebecca, the one mental asylum escapee that the Inner Circle decided to take in, and she seems fun... but also maybe not fun so much as scary.

Next week's episode: "iMprint," The Gifted

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"afterMath," The Gifted

The Gifted season two keeps on hitting home runs with "iMprint," an episode focused on the Cuckoos and their backstory. Unlike so many other X-Men adaptations, this one closely aligns with the characters' portrayal in the original comics by clarifying the girls are clones and introducing the other two of the five main Cuckoos. Their heartbreaking backstory of growing up in a lab and being tortured by their human captors clearly influences the way they act today, and it's what ends up driving a wedge (and eventually a renewed alliance) between Esme and Lorna in this episode. We've also learned what the Inner Circle has planned: stealing from Graydon Creed (or at least someone with his last name), who is an anti-mutant financial magnate in this universe. Meanwhile, the Strucker family is still falling apart, and Caitlin still can't let go of her denial about it, plus Jace Turner falls even further into the black hole of far-right radicalization with the Purifiers.

Next episode: "no Mercy," The Gifted

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"iMprint," The Gifted

In "no Mercy," the Hellfire Club is ready to perform their bank heist, but it wouldn't be a heist episode if something didn't go wrong. Maddy and Ryan feel like Lorna could have opened this safe herself, but it's Rebecca's job, and Rebecca doesn't just want to steal money from Creed Financial. She wants to steal... human lives. Meanwhile, Reed Strucker is still suffering from mutant denialism, and Jace Turner makes the tough decision to go on TV with a not-quite-William Stryker type character and become the face of the Purifiers.

Next episode: "the dreaM," The Gifted

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"no Mercy," The Gifted

Magneto is the most important part of "the dreaM," despite that he never actually shows up in person on The Gifted. This is another amazing episode and this time it's focused on Lorna and her personal journey towards accepting that she's her father's daughter, and that her own daughter Dawn is not going to be safe as Lorna and the rest of the Hellfire Club continue with their violent uprising against a bigoted human supremacist government. Rebecca, AKA Twist, runs away from the Hellfire Club and leaves a trail of destruction in her wake, although when John and Clarice find her, Rebecca actually does decide to help them, suggesting that she's not all bad. Reed Strucker, meanwhile, has decided to work with a woman who bears a striking similarity to Moira MacTaggert, and we all know that's not a good thing.

Next episode: "gaMe changer," The Gifted

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"the dreaM," The Gifted

Justice for Twist! Ryan and Maddy review "gaMe changer," yet another great episode for The Gifted's second season. The Hellfire Club has apprehended Rebecca and locked her up in a spinning cube, but when Andy tries to rescue her, it doesn't end well. The rest of the Strucker family figures out that the kindly doctor helping them actually has Moira/Dr. Sasaki vibes, which is never a good thing. Clarice and John are still arguing over what's left of the Mutant Underground, and Marcos is the depressed third wheel, although the three of them still manage to figure out the Hellfire Club's next move even if they don't manage to stop it. And what is that next move? Taking out the power source for every mutant collar in America. A very poorly guarded power source.

Next episode: Listener mail!!

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"gaMe changer," The Gifted

Maddy and Ryan open the listener mailbag to answer questions about The Gifted and Lauren's coming-out story, various video games featuring the X-Men, and more. The second half of this episode is The Mutant Ages: The Comic Book episode in which the team visits the Land of Cloakys, and that's why you're really here, you just don't know it yet.

Next episode: "eneMy of My eneMy," The Gifted

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Listener Mail, April 2025

Maddy and Ryan are in full form for this week's episode of the Mutant Ages, so we hope you're ready for an ADHD roller coaster. Regardless, this week's episode of The Gifted was not exactly an A+ but it wasn't bad by any means. John has been kidnapped by the Purifiers, which means the remaining Mutant Underground members have to get Lorna and Andy's help because they need some serious firepower to overtake a human militia with an organized compound full of guns. Reed and Caitlin are thrilled to have their son back... until they see what he's become, and what Lauren has been warning them about for *months* now.

Next episode: "meMento," The Gifted

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"eneMy of my eneMy," The Gifted

"meMento" is not only an all-time great episode of The Gifted, it's one of Maddy and Ryan's all-time favorite episodes of TV, period. Every single character's storyline comes to a head in some way. Lauren Strucker gets enchanted by the music box that's passed down through her family for generations, and it seems to be kicking off her villain era. Meanwhile, Lorna is questioning the Inner Circle's true motivations now that Reeva Payne has enlisted a trio of serial killers to perform a mysterious mission. And when Lorna reaches out to Marcos, their relationship naturally gets rekindled. With John bedridden and wounded once again, Blink is questioning whether she can stay with someone so self-destructive. Most striking of all is Jace Turner's storyline, in which he decides to stand up for his Purifier cop friend who shoots an innocent mutant child. Jace's mental health takes a real dive after that one.

Next episode: "hoMe," The Gifted

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"meMento," The Gifted

"hoMe" may not be a five-star episode of The Gifted, but with so many bangers in season 2, we can forgive it. We learn that Evangeline co-founded the Mutant Underground with Erg, the leader of the Morlocks, but then screwed him over. Despite that, she still blackmails him into joining her (along with the rest of our Mutant Underground hold-outs) for a "last stand," although it's not entirely clear that that entails. We'll never get to find out, because it fails, but in the process, Erg and John have a "last stand" of their own and it leads to Blink finally dumping John (long overdue) and joining the Morlocks (also long overdue). Meanwhile, Reed Strucker becomes fascinated by the music box that has his daughter hypnotized, and his daughter and wife go fight some cops and possibly get Uncle Danny killed. Remember Uncle Danny, the lawyer? He's back for some reason.

Next episode: "teMpted," The Gifted

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"hoMe," The Gifted

With only a few more episode to go before its cancellation, The Gifted is still chugging along, ramping up the stakes of the Inner Circle's motivations. In "teMpted," Lorna engages in some bad spycraft and learns that the Inner Circle's most dangerous new recruits intend to bomb the Pentagon and the White House. She loops Marcos in on the plan, which leads to a climactic murder at the end of the episode (not of Marcos, at least we hope not). Before we get to that, though, Marcos spends this episode underground trying to help save the life of Glow, who gets shot by police in the process of stealing food for her fellow Morlocks. With the help of Marcos, Blink, and the controversially human Caitlin, Glow survives, and even Erg has to admit that Caitlin helped in the end. Meanwhile, Andy is working with the Cuckoos to brainwash Lauren into joining the Inner Circle, and it just might've worked, if not for Reed stepping in and flourishing the ol' anti-mutant serum.

Next episode: "calaMity," The Gifted

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"teMpted," The Gifted

Multiple major characters die in "calaMity," the third-to-last episode of The Gifted's final season, except wait, we shouldn't call Sage a major character, should we? It's a damn shame what this show has done to her, and we can't believe how anti-climactic her death scene turns out to be. Sage takes the fall for Lorna's bad spycraft within the Hellfire Club, even though the reasons for her being the scapegoat don't make a lot of sense. The rest of "calaMity" is a thrill ride that builds up to Jace leading the Purifiers in The Gifted's version of the Morlock Massacre, in which a surprisingly high number of Morlocks survive, thanks to Blink calling Marcos (and not her ex-boyfriend John) to bring in all the ex-Mutant Underground folks with some getaway cars. Unfortunately, despite everyone's best efforts, it's Blink who doesn't make it out of this situation alive. But isn't she supposed to be alive at the end of this show? Hmmm...

Next episode: "Monsters," The Gifted

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"calaMity," The Gifted

The second-to-last episode of The Gifted, "Monsters," is mostly about moving chess pieces around the board. That is to say, all of the characters need to be in the correct spots before the finale. The result is kind of boring to watch, and there are a few scenes that get wrapped up in ways that don't quite make sense. Lauren and Caitlin are on the run from the cops, but their escape ends up being surprisingly simple in the end, thanks to Marcos and Reed's help. Reed is finally using his mutant powers, and it's going surprisingly well... so well that he has discovered he enjoys using them to kill people (RIP Wilson, Jace's boyfriend). Jace Turner still can't manage to get on the right side of history, but Esmee Cuckoo sure seems like she's about to. And of course, Lorna and Andy finally leave the Hellfire Club in this episode, a decision that was long overdue since Reeva's plans for world domination have become downright evil.

Next episode: "oMens," The Gifted

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"Monsters," The Gifted

Welcome to the pilot episode of The Mutant Ages! Maddy and Ryan's first step on their journey of watching every animated X-men TV show episode, ever, is Pryde of the X-Men. This TV pilot made in 1989 never ended up getting picked up for a full series. Why not? Let us explain why. Oh, and don't forget: Spider-Man wants you to register to vote!

Spotlight X-Men: Shadowcat

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Episode 1 - Pryde of the X-Men (1989)

Ryan and Maddy's second episode of The Mutant Ages features their first foray into X-Men: The Animated Series, with a big spotlight on Jubilee. Did you know that Jubilee is one of Ryan's favorite X-Men? Anyway, this episode is already way longer than we planned for it to be, so bear with us. We had to analyze the opening credits of the show, okay? Enjoy!

Spotlight X-Men: Jubilee

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Episode 2 - "Night of the Sentinels Part 1,"  X-Men: The Animated Series

It finally happened... We watched X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The 2009 exploration of Wolverine's origins disappointed us at the time, and it disappoints us so much more in 2020. With Todd Harper's help, Ryan and Maddy tear apart this notoriously bad movie, which is impressive only in the sense that it manages to offend just about everybody.

Next week's episode: The pilot episode of X-Men Evolution!

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X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Ryan and Maddy settle in for the debut episode of X-Men: Evolution! But first, some reminiscing about the political climate during the time period that this show came out, and also our own experiences as teenagers watching this show. X-Men: Evolution is much more overt about its queer analogy, and also, it's just a damn good show. Oh... by the way? Professor Xavier's still a piece of shit. Just saying.

X-Men Spotlight: Toad!

Next week's episode: "The X-Impulse," X-Men: Evolution

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"Strategy X," X-Men: Evolution

Get ready for another conversation about queer villains, because Pietro Maximoff is here, he's queer, and he's got a big crush on Evan Daniels, a.k.a. Spyke. We're finally back on solid ground with an X-Men Evolution episode that isn't actively upsetting, plus it's a Storm-centric episode, since new character Spyke is her nephew. Ryan and Maddy get to analyze some hard-hitting queer metaphors in this one, as well as the Evan/Pietro ship that was probably popular with queer teen viewers at the time. Meanwhile, Xavier remains the show's most haunting antagonist.

X-Men Spotlight: Pietro Maximoff, a.k.a. Quicksilver

Next week's episode: "Middleverse"

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"Speed and Spyke," X-Men: Evolution

Maddy Myers and Ryan Pagella review and break down the queer subtext of every X-Men cartoon/tv show/movie/game/book EVER. And maybe date Wolverine.

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